Give Me Love (46 page)

At Coby’s request, Carol from their office visited me in hospital with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and the contact information for Jude. His hope was for the counselling to help alleviate the anxiety I was feeling from the trauma of a life-threatening injury and the distress from taking another person’s life.

“He’s helping,” I answered honestly because every day my breathing got a little easier. “But every time I finish an appointment I need wine, so I think he’s turning me into an alcoholic.”

He chuckled as I shovelled in another bite of pancakes. “Yeah he does that to all of us.”

I swallowed my mouthful and echoed, “All of us?”

Casey shrugged. “With our line of work, it’s common to help with the stress of what we do or sometimes see.”

I wanted to ask what they sometimes saw but my phone rang, and I answered.

Mac's chipper voice was on the other end. “Marty rang and you’re needed in the studio tomorrow.” There was a muffled crackle, and I heard her shout, “Just a goddamn minute, asshead” to someone in the background.

I sighed as she got back to me, ranting about something or other that was pissing her off. I gave her my sympathy, simply thankful the tirade wasn’t directed at me. Sucking in a breath, she finally asked where I was.

“Tilly’s.”

I heard her let out a loud whoosh. “Bring me back some mushroom cups, and I’ll take you off my shit list for the day.”

“I’m on there?” I asked with dismay.

“No, but you will be if you don’t bring me back some mushroom cups.”

I made the promise to bring some home and hung up. I’d planned on getting them anyway because you didn’t go to Tilly’s and not get them. They were little pastry cups of heaven filled with mushroom, feta, egg, and finely diced bacon.

Finishing our breakfast, we returned to the beach parking lot, surfboards attached to the racks of our respective cars.

I beeped the unlock button before Casey gently pulled me in for a hug. After a few moments, when he didn’t seem inclined to let go, I drew back slightly puzzled, and he softly brushed a hand down my face. “Tomorrow. Same time, same place?”

“Sure. I couldn’t do without my daily dose of surf dumping, and the sand is good exfoliation for my face.”

He chuckled and moved to get in his car.

“Oh wait. Mac’s having a get together at our place tonight. Come with Travis.”

His answer was a brief nod before he hopped in his car, backed out, and drove away.

Later that night I dressed in a pair of white shorts and a fitted black t-shirt that had
Badass Bitch
written in silver studs across the breasts. The shirt was a gift from Cooper just last week. I made sure to flaunt it in front of Tim’s face at every opportunity, and he played deliberately obtuse and kept telling me to stop parading my “lady bags” in his face.

I sat out on the back deck, nursing a glass of wine, as friends littered the inside of the duplex and the backyard. Coby was manning the barbecue, and Casey and Travis were standing in the all-important huddle that was man grilling meat. As I was still riding the coattails of invalidity, Mac and Tim were the ones in the kitchen dealing with everything else. Frog, Jake, and Cooper were busy chatting to two of our female neighbours. I could see them putting on their best moves. Cooper was leaning close, trailing a finger along the collarbone of one of the girls. Her eyes were wide and she bit her lip as he spoke to her. Not to be outdone, Frog reached out and pulled the other girl down on to his lap and she shrieked with laughter. Jake it seemed, had missed out, but the gazes he kept flicking towards Mac whenever she appeared from the kitchen left me thinking that it didn’t bother him at all.

Henry pulled up a chair next to me and sucked down his beer as though it was the elixir of life. When he finished he sat the empty bottle on the table with a lip smack and a sigh. “So…”

I raised my eyebrows in reply.

He looked over at the barbecue pointedly. “What’s going on between you and Casey?”

My eyebrows reached newer heights.

“Why?”

“His eyes have been tracking you all night.”

My eyes trailed to the barbecue in time to catch Casey glancing away, and I frowned.

“We’re just friends, Henry. We bonded over surfing.” I would have thought Henry would understand the difficulty in explaining a platonic friendship between a man and a woman. “How many times have we had to defend
our
relationship to other people?”

“Yeah but I don’t look at you the way he looks at you.”

“And what way is that?”

“Like he wants to eat you alive.”

“Jesus, Henrietta. I know people think I have some kind of death wish, and frankly that’s not surprising, but have you seen Casey? I need to go back to my dorks.” Wistful memories of Hairy Parry and Beetle Bob filled my head.

Henry must have been doing the same thing because he winced in reply.

“Maybe I need to swear off men altogether.”

“Maybe you and Casey should just sleep with each other and get it out of your system.” I could always depend on Henry with sage advice.

“Is it Groundhog Day? Wasn’t it just yesterday you and Mac were pushing me into some kind of…whatever the hell
that
was with Jared? Look how well that turned out, and here you are at it again.”

Henry shrugged. “Just saying.”

“Well don’t. Thanks for the retarded relationship bastard advice, Henry, but that’s a really shitty idea.”

I ignored Henry for a while, and after we ate dinner, I replenished my wine from the bottle in the fridge. Feeling a slightly wonderful buzz that softened my tatty edges, I shifted out to the quiet of the front yard and sat on the step at the front door as I nursed my glass.

Mac came out carrying a bag of garbage and almost tripped over me. “What the hell are you doing out here?”

So much for the quiet. “I
was
enjoying the peace, Mactard.”

“Suit yourself.”

She headed down the driveway and threw the bag into the big green wheelie bin just as Casey came out, beer in hand, and sat on the step beside me.

Mac came up the drive, texting on her phone. She glanced up as she reached the stairs and chortled with glee. “Hey, look! It’s Hotdog and Sandwich.”

Casey groaned and I laughed out loud.

Mac pushed her way in between us. Before heading through the door she added over her shoulder, “Don’t be long. There’s chocolate cake.”

“Thanks for that,” Casey said with a mixture of amusement and resignation in his eyes.

“My pleasure,
hotdog
.”

“Kook.”

“Hotdog.”

He sipped at his beer before resting his elbows on his knees.

“Hey, I’ve been Sandwich for half my life, but I deal.”

“I can take it,” he replied, fingers working at peeling the label off the beer in his hands.

My gaze moved from his hands to his lips. Damn Henry for putting the thought in my head because that was the last place I wanted or needed to be. The man was seriously hot but...what? Maybe I should just kiss him. That wouldn’t hurt would it? I mean Jared practically threw me back in the ocean, so shouldn’t I try to move on?

I sat my wine down in horror. Casey was a friend. What was I thinking? Clearly, I’d had too much to drink. I faced Casey to say I was heading back inside when he took me by complete surprise. Both his hands gripped the sides of my face, and he crushed his lips against mine. His mouth was hot, his lips soft, and when I began to respond, he groaned, moving his hands from my face to slide down my back, pushing me closer. I opened my mouth and let his tongue swirl inside, joining it with my own, feeling heat begin its stealth invasion of my body. I ran my hands up his chest and twined my arms around his neck. In turn, he hands slid slowly around my torso, trailing one up my ribs while the other shifted to grip my hip tightly.

For a moment, it felt amazing, but then I realised I was only receptive to the kiss because it was Jared I was thinking of, his hands I was feeling on my body, and his lips that were burning mine.

I wanted to weep, and when I faltered, Casey tore his mouth from mine, breathless. “Fuck.”

I didn’t speak, watching him as my lungs sucked in mouthfuls of air.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, I…” Tears pricked my eyes because I let it happen and it felt like I’d used him. “I can’t let go. I can’t let go of him, and I don’t want to, Casey. I’m sorry.”

“Shhhh,” he whispered. “You don’t have to explain yourself, Evie. I get it. Really. We’ve both just had a bit to drink and done something you weren’t ready for is all. If anything, I’m always your friend, and if you ever need me, just say the word.”

At that point, I decided Casey wasn’t real. He simply descended from the heavens to fool us poor women into believing that the perfect man really did exist and thus continue the eternal chase.

“I always need friends like you, Casey, but that goes both ways.”

His hand found my knee and squeezed, sliding in a gentle caress as he removed it. “Of course.” He stood up. “Coming in?”

“Yeah, in a sec.”

No sooner had Casey disappeared through the front door when Henry found his way to the front step.

I picked up my wine and took a huge swallow, deciding that the time to drink again was upon me. “What, Henry?”

He sat down. “Sorry, Chook.”

I waved a hand. “It’s okay. I did what you said anyway,” I replied, taking great amusement in the way his eyes bugged out at my words.

“Um…that was fast?”

My phone chose that moment to ring and happy to leave Henry hanging, I tugged it out of my pocket. When I glanced at the display, I dropped it like it was a hissing snake.

“What?” Henry looked at me then glanced at the phone. “Oh shit.” Now
he
was eyeballing it like it was a hissing snake. “You uh, gonna answer that?”

“I don’t know!” My voice was a shout and my eyes widened in panic as they whipped to his. “Should I?”

At my shout, both Mac and Coby appeared at the doorway.

“What the fuck is going on?” Mac asked.

Coby followed our gaze to the phone and then anger lit his eyes. “Christ. What the hell time is it over in the States anyway?”

“Don’t answer it,” snapped Mac.

The frustration of not having any peace to gather my thoughts had me yelling again. “Would you all shut up for just one freaking second and let me think.”

They paused collectively, almost breathlessly, and tension singed the air.

I started to reach for the phone, wanting to hear his voice.

“Evie,” Mac said in her best “you better not do what I think you’re going to do” voice.

Then it stopped ringing and I missed my chance to talk to Jared.

Everyone held their breath, waiting to see if I'd receive a voicemail. Nothing happened and grabbing my phone, I pushed my way through them and towards the kitchen, making a beeline for the fridge.

I grabbed another bottle of wine and poured as much as I could fit into the glass, sloshing it over the sides as Mac grabbed my arm and hustled me inside the walk-in pantry, shutting the door behind us. She didn’t bother turning on the light because it blew again yesterday morning.

Feeling weary I waved a hand in surrender. “Mac, please.”

“I…”

“Get to the point.” I had an alcohol bath to get to.

“Sorry, Sandwich. I’ve been such a shitty friend. I don’t want to make it all about me, but I just wanted to say that it’s been hard for me to watch my two favourite people, both so desperately in love with the other, falling apart, and it hurts. It. Fucking. Hurts.” I could hear the tears in her voice and if the light had been working, I would’ve seen them roll down her cheek. “I know I need to be more supportive, but I thought that… I was trying to just be myself. Thinking if things were normal it might help, but I realised that normal isn’t enough. Normal hasn’t been the support I thought it would be, and I’m sorry.”

There was a painful fumble in the dark where Mac grunted when I elbowed her in the stomach and I yelped when her finger poked my eye, and then we were hugging.

The door busted open and blinking at the flood of light, Henry bore down on us. “Jesus, Chook, first Casey and now Mac. Who else are you planning on assaulting tonight because I have plans.”

“You do?” I asked.

“Casey?” Mac asked.

“Casey and Evie had sex,” Henry blurted out.

“Um, what?” Mac and I replied simultaneously, mine directed at Henry, hers directed at me.

“We didn’t have sex. We kissed.”

“You did? When?”

“Out on the front step, just before.”

With the light flooding in I caught Mac’s open mouthed expression. “You mean after I took the garbage out?”

“I think that the next time Jared rings, you should answer the phone,” Henry interjected.