Give Me Something (27 page)

The friendly gesture of offering me his jacket shifted to something else when his hands lowered to my waist.  His intentions were evident the second his finger tips gently dug into me. His cheek brushed against mine as he pulled back to look at me.  “Please don't talk about him,” He shook his head before crashing his lips to mine.  The shock of the connection stunned me, allowing his tongue to find its way between my lips, but I quickly recouped.  Drawing my lips closed and my hands to his chest, I forced him to take a step back.

“What are you doing?!”  I wiped away the tobacco-flavored taste he left on my lips.

“
Come on, Rae,” he pleaded and reached out for me. “You said you forgave me.  You've tortured me enough with the constant PDA between you and Tucker.  Can't we just go back to the way things were?”

“
No,” I pushed his hands from my body, replaying the weekend in my mind and wondering what I could have possibly done to invite this unwanted advance.  “Saying I forgive you and saying I want you to kiss me are two very different things.  And, the way things were before were not good, Nick.  Jesus!”   I turned my back to him, still reeling from the fact that he'd just kissed me.  The stupidity I felt for letting him even get close enough to do so only pissed me off more.

“
You said it yourself that you think I've changed.  Just give me another chance,” he begged as he placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me to face him.  “I can't stop thinking about you and how I screwed it all up.” He brushed his hand across his forehead, desperately seeking the words to make me stop thinking that he'd lost his mind.  “I
need
you,” he added, assuming that his declaration would somehow make me feel differently.  “We're good together.  You know it.  Let's get out of here.  You and me,” he finished and drew my hand to his lips.

I pulled my hand away and removed my arms from his jacket.  “I was wrong, Nick.”

“It's okay, Rae.  I get it.  My brother is a charming guy.  I know you were just confused with everything that has happened.”

“
No,” I tossed the jacket at him.  “I was wrong about you.  You haven't changed at all.  You still want all the things you can't have.” I watched him only long enough to see the sting of my words cause him to drop the jacket to the ground.  After storming back into the bar, I approached Brynn, told her to keep her
boyfriend
away from me, and found Tucker.

“
Can we go please?”  I asked him, trying to fight back the breakdown I was trying to hide.

“
Yeah,” he replied, knowing that something had happened but not needing an explanation to act.  He helped me into my coat and we left without a word.  I pulled the leather gloves Tucker had bought me onto my hands, needing to surround myself with him and get the feel of Nick off of my skin.  “What about Brynn and Nick?  They came with us.” he asked when we reached the truck.

“
They can find their own ride,” I replied, pulling my door shut.  “Just take me home.”

He gave me the ride home to collect my thoughts before asking, “You gonna tell me what happened?”

The moonlight cascaded through the windows, lighting the dark kitchen as we walked in the house.  I untied the belt of my coat and started to shrug out of it.  “I never should have invited him here.”  Placing my coat on one of the kitchen table chairs, I continued.  “I should have known better.”  Tucker flipped the lights on in time to see a tear roll down my cheek.

He was at my side before I could wipe it away.  “What the hell happened?”

“Same old Nick,” I shrugged removing a glove from my hand, not wanting to tell him the details, but feeling so guilty that it happened in the first place that my lips spilled the information.  “He kissed me.”

He took a step back and ran his hands over his face and through his hair.  “Jesus,” he sighed.  “I knew this would happen.  I shouldn't have let him through that front door.”

“It's not your fault.”  I pulled my other hand free of its glove.

“
Oh, I know.” He nodded, raising his eyebrows.

“
So, it's
all
my fault?” I asked, knowing that it was, but not needing him to rub it in.  He didn't answer.  “I already said I shouldn't have invited him here,” I added as he drew his bottom lip between his teeth. 

“
No shit.”  He shook his head.  “But you just can't seem to get rid of him, can you Lila?”  I'd never seen Tucker this upset.  The tone of his voice was unnerving.

“
I thought...”

“
I know what you thought,” he seethed.  “But did you really think he came here with any intentions other than getting you back?  You keep letting him in.  Of course he was going to kiss you!”

“
I didn't ask for him to come on to me!”  I could see that he really wanted to say something, and being the glutton for punishment I was, needed some kind of response. “You think I wanted him to kiss me?” I stepped toward him, when I should have just walked away because the response I got was not what I wanted.

“
I don't know! Did you?  It wouldn't surprise me.  You are pretty quick to forgive Nick for everything.”

“
No, you asshole!” I threw the gloves at his chest and stomped toward the bedroom. 

How could he even ask me that?  He obviously didn't trust me as much as he said he did.  I didn't bother turning the lights on.  The only light came from the bathroom light I'd left on earlier.  I wanted to throw myself on the bed and forget the whole night happened, but the anger inside me made my feet feel like they were on fire. Instead I paced the floor, watching each step, sure I was wearing a hole through the hardwood.

“I don't think you wanted him to kiss you,” I heard his raspy voice through the dimly lit room, stopping me in my tracks.

“
Good,” I called over my shoulder.  “Because I didn't.”

“
Good,” he replied, turning the lights on.  When I turned around, I expected him to say 'I told you so.'  I knew how he felt about Nick.  He had every right to blame me for forcing him to even acknowledge his existence.  Instead, I found him with his head down.  His usually self-assured demeanor was deflated.

“
I'm so sorry,” I mumbled.  “I shouldn't have gone outside with him.  I just wanted to see if he was okay after fighting with Brynn.” I took a breath.  “I really thought he was trying to change.”

“
I know you did,” he said and looked at me.  His eyes were desperate for some sense of relief from the conversation we were having.  The idea that he was going to break up with me racked my mind.

“
You have to believe me, Tucker,” I begged, tucking my arms under his and pulling his body to mine, the curves of my chest pressing into the hardness of his.  “I love you so much.”  The emptiness I felt as his arms stay at his side, instead of around me, was numbing and as much as I wanted to be the strong, independent woman I pretended to be, I couldn't.  “Please don't leave me,” I pleaded as the tears broke loose.

When his arms finally took their rightful place, I took in a breath of relief.  “I love you.  I'm not going anywhere.  It's going to take a lot more than that to get rid of me.”  Reconfirming our want to be together, we stood in each other's arms.  He was stroking his hand through my hair and I was clinging to him for dear life.  “I know you think I don't trust you,” he began, releasing me and moving to the bed.  “But I do.  It's Nick I don't trust.” He sat down.  “I don't trust him or whatever stupid hold he has on you.”

“He doesn't have a hold on me,” I denied and moved to sit by him.

“
You think he doesn't, Lila.  But he does.  After all he's done to you, you still take his side.  You can't see straight when it comes to him.”

I thought about what he was saying, knowing it was true.  I had wanted Nick to be a part of my life despite the way he'd used me because I still had hope that the guy before all the lies was in there.  It was a bad idea and it took him trying to ruin what I had with Tucker for me to see it.  “You're right.  But I get it now.  I know he's never going to change, and I'm sorry that tonight had to happen for me to see that.”

“I really hope so because I don't know if I can watch him put you through this shit anymore,” he said as he placed his arm around my shoulders and pulled my head to his chest.  “I get it.  You wanted to be friends with him because for some crazy reason you think you owe him something.  And, I know you wanted us to get along because we share DNA, but sometimes people just aren't meant to be in each others lives.”

I relaxed into him, knowing that I need to listen to his words.  It wasn't fair to me or Tucker to let Nick try and destroy us.  I'd given Nick the forgiveness he'd asked for.  Now I needed to let myself forget about him.

Chapter 21

“
I really wish we didn't have to go back to school already,” I whined as we pulled onto the interstate.  After the nightmare with Nick on Friday night, Tucker and I spent the rest of weekend alone.  Saturday and Sunday were filled with nothing but quality rest and relaxation. 
Oh, who am I kidding?
  The only time we relaxed was when our bodies forced us to. 

The sound of Nick and Brynn picking up their suitcases, which I'd left outside the front door and the subsequent spinning of rocks down the driveway woke me early Saturday morning.  We'd only been asleep for a few hours, after make-up sex, and the relief I'd felt when I heard Nick haul ass down the driveway and out of my life was good.  With my renewed spirit, I made it my mission to let Tucker know just how bad I felt about the whole Nick debacle.

“What are you grinning about?” I turned my body toward him, drawing my legs up in the truck seat.  “You're not actually excited about going back to school, are you?  You know we have finals right?”  The three weeks between Thanksgiving and Winter Break were the worst.  I knew that I wouldn't have much time to spend with Tucker between cramming for exams.

“
God no.  I hate finals.” He placed his hand up on my knee, to which I pressed my lips and smiled.  “I was just thinking about the sexy little way you woke me up the Saturday morning.”

“
Oh?” I coyly replied.  “How was that?”

“
You know exactly what I'm talking about.” His eyes darted between me and his lap as he chuckled.

“
Oh,” I breathed, unfastening my seat belt.  “You mean when I did this?” I leaned over the console and slowly dragged my lips over his neck.

“
Nope,” he calmly answered.

“
Was it this?” I whispered, drawing the lobe of his ear between my teeth.

“
Uh-huh,” he replied, keeping one hand on the steering wheel and the other on my knee, his grasp firming with each touch I made.  “You should really put your seat belt back on,” he warned, then gave me a stern look before turning his lips to mine. 

“
Just keep it on the road.  I'll be fine.”  I continued to tease him, moving my lips across his neck to his jaw and back to his ear.  Despite his calm appearance, he was starting to get a rise out of the game I'd created.  “I can't for the life of me remember what I did to wake you up.”

“
I bet,” he grinned.  His hand started to move down to my thigh and I knew he was trying to distract me, knowing that I was hellbent on reminding him exactly how I'd woke him up.

“
It was this, right?” I moved one hand slowly down his chest, down his stomach, which tightened at my touch, to his thigh.  Kneading his leg through his jeans, I started to massage the top and inside of his leg.

His foot slipped on the gas, accelerating the vehicle with a jerk.  “You're getting warmer,” he said, clearing his throat and letting his fingers dig into my leg.  I could feel the excitement of our situation coursing through my veins as we sped down the interstate. 

“How about now?” My fingers brushed over his lap, stopping briefly to increase the pressure against the fullness of him, until they reached the button of his jeans. 

“
Warmer.” He shifted in his seat.

Tucking my hand under the waist band of his boxers and curling my fingers around the base of him, Tucker turned his eyes to mine, reading my expression and knowing exactly what came next.  “You don't have to do this.”

“Oh, believe me... I want to,” I said seductively and lightly kissed the corner of his mouth as he tried his best to keep his eyes on the open road, my grip tightening around him as my wrist moved up and down.  His eyes flicked to my lips as I seductively ran my tongue across them.  “Keep your eyes on the road, buddy,” I teased while using my free hand to unbutton and unzip the pants that were in my way.

“
You got it,” he sighed, placing his head against the headrest and keeping his hands at two and ten, leaving me a wide open path to my intended destination.  “Hot,” he managed to mumble out, as I wrapped my lips around him and let my blond curls fall across his lap.  “So fucking hot.”

$$$

“Well that was fun,” Tucker said, pulling in front of my dorm.  “Minus the pervy truck driver.”