Give Me Strength (23 page)

“How long since you saw or spoke to your mother
last?”

“Almost four years,” I answered
automatically.

“I imagine you had good reason for that.”

I stared out the window. “Yes.”

I felt him glance at me while he drove. “Tell
me?”

“Why?”

Hadn’t he heard enough?

“Because it’s part of who you are.”

“I wish it wasn’t, Travis.”

I felt him glance at me as he drove. “Me too,
Quinn, but I care about you. All of you. I can’t pick and choose
which pieces of you to care for and which pieces not to. That’s not
how it works.”

“I have a lot of crappy pieces,” I informed
him.

“Some people do, but the pieces you try to hide
aren’t pieces you asked for. They were given to you without a
choice. Does that mean you deserve less than the next person?”

“Some of those choices I made myself,” I pointed
out.

“Choices you were too young to make don’t
count.”

“Just like that?”

He nodded. “Just like that.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

I waved a hand in frustration. “You seem to have
an answer for everything.”

His eyes remained on the road, but I caught his
grin. “That’s because I’m a know-it-all.”

“Are you saying you’re not as perfect as
everyone thinks you to be?”

The smile slid quickly from his face and brows
drawn, he offered me a pained glance. “No. I’m not. Don’t ever
think that of me, Quinn.”

Something uncomfortable rolled in my belly, and
I didn’t like it because I’d never had that feeling with Travis
before. His tone sounded a little off.

“Um…okay.”

Travis accelerated as I directed him where to
turn.

“The good memories of Beth aren’t good, and the
bad ones are worse,” I began. “They don’t stem from what she did
either, but what she didn’t do.”

Travis gripped the steering wheel as he turned
left, taking us closer to where I didn’t want to be. “What didn’t
she do?”

“She didn’t tell me about my real dad. She
didn’t put my hair in piggytails with pretty ribbon for school like
all the other girls had. She didn’t read me bedtime stories like I
wanted her to. She didn’t take me to the park or the beach or
shopping.” My breath started coming a little faster, and I paused
to swallow the hurt. “She didn’t scare away the monsters in the
dark. She…she didn’t do anything when David got angry and hit me.
When I got home at two in the morning from a party, she didn’t even
know I’d been gone.” Travis met my eyes and I whispered, “She
didn’t love me and when you’re shown every day you’re not worth
being loved, you tend to believe it.”

My eyes followed Travis as he got out of the
car. The passenger door was yanked open and then I was in his arms.
“Stop believing it, sweetheart.” He pulled back, his green eyes
bright and unwavering on mine.

“How?”

The corners of his lips tipped up a little in a
rueful smile. “Okay, so maybe I don’t have all the answers, but I
know how to start.”

“Yeah?”

He stepped back and to the side, revealing the
house in front of me and it felt like a punch to the gut. “Stop
running.”

I glanced sideways at him. Maybe I would have,
but it wasn’t just about me anymore.

“Wait here,” I ordered, straightening my
shoulders.

I strode briskly towards the front door, jerking
backwards when my arm was gripped. I spun around and smacked into a
hard chest. “Travis!”

“I don’t think so.”

My hands came up and pushed at his chest. “I’m
perfectly safe in there.”

“How about I come in with you, make sure it’s
safe, then I wait out front?”

As I was already being muscled towards the front
door, I figured his words were more a statement than a question. He
rapped hard on the door and as if Beth had been waiting, it opened
immediately.

I cleared my throat, meeting tired eyes the same
brown as mine. “Beth.” Her eyes shifted nervously to Travis. “This
is Travis.”

Travis gave a slight nod, and my mind imagined
how it would look to someone meeting him for the first time. His
blond hair was tied back, arms were folded with biceps bulging,
green eyes were hard, and his stance was busy telling the world,
and Beth, that he had no patience for bullshit.

Beth took a slight step back, obviously
believing everything he was telling her.

I stood a little straighter, taking care to look
her in the eye. “You wanted to talk?”

She swung the door wide and indicated with a nod
to come in. Travis stepped in front of me, walking in first, eyeing
every part of the interior. Despite the place not being clean, it
wasn’t shabby. The living room and kitchen had undergone drastic
renovations and nothing was familiar. My breathing came a little
easier at not being slammed in the face with painful memories.

Beth grabbed a glass and started pouring a vodka
without apology. “Drink?”

“No thanks,” Travis answered and then leaned in
close to my ear, so that his lips brushed the skin softly, and
whispered, “I’ll be right outside the front door. Yell if you need
me, okay?”

I nodded.

With that acknowledgement, he tipped his chin at
Beth without another word and closed the front door quietly behind
him.

“I can’t stay long,” I prompted her when she
shuffled over with her drink.

“Always thought you were too good for us, didn’t
you?”

I folded my arms, glaring as she sat her glass
down on the table and faced me. “You worked hard at making sure I
never felt that way, so let’s cut through the niceties, shall
we?”

“Alright. I know I’ve never been a great
mother…” I rolled my eyes “…but there are people after David. I
know he told them about you because they paid me a visit this
morning. I wanted to give you some advice.”

For the first time in my life, Beth was
attempting to impart some sort of motherly wisdom? I snorted.

She ignored me and said, “Pay them the money. I
don’t have it. I see you are in a situation where maybe you could
get it. These people won’t hesitate to hurt you. They won’t
hesitate to hurt everyone you know.”

“What the fuck do you care about me being hurt?”
I hissed angrily. “All of a sudden you decide it’s not okay to sit
back and watch me get pounded on? Fuck you.”

Her hand reached out swiftly and slapped me
hard. My neck snapped and I cried out. “I’m still your mother.
Don’t you talk to me like that.”

My eyes narrowed. “
Fuck. You,
” I ground
out.

Her hand came up again and I grabbed it, my
fingers digging tight into her wrist. A hard wall was suddenly
pressed against my back, and Beth’s eyes rose up behind my
shoulder.

“Touch her again and I’ll make your life a
living hell.” The words were like a whiplash, and I had absolutely
no doubt Travis meant every word. Beth obviously didn’t either
because she tugged her arm away and took a step back.

“Let’s go, sweetheart.”

He took my hand and I followed him to the
door.

“Quinn?” Her voice was pitched high and cracked
on my name. I let go of Travis and walked towards her.

She leaned in and spoke so softly I had to
strain my ears. “These people will do more than just hurt you. They
won’t hesitate in making sure you never see daylight again.”

I didn’t remember what we talked about on the
drive home. All I remember was listening to Travis and the way he
laughed and teased me, distracting me from what had just gone down.
I reflected back on how it felt riding with him on the motorcycle;
spluttering through the waves at the beach while he laughed at me;
the warmth of his hand holding mine; his eyes heated as he moved
inside of me, and my heart hurt.

***

The next week passed by
like a ticking time bomb. I was vaguely aware of going about my
day. People talked to me, but it was like existing underwater. I
baked biscuits to occupy my mind, entire battalions of them—enough
that I was sure no one would eat another for as long as they lived,
yet they kept disappearing. Jared and Evie moved back into the
house at Bondi, yet somehow a container found its way to their
house because Evie rang with a shaky voice to say she caught Jared
eating one. Travis stopped by on and off during the week to check
on me, so another container found its way to the Jamieson and
Valentine Consulting office because Tim rang, his voice muffled as
he yelled at me down the phone around a mouthful about taking me
shopping again. Then it sounded like he called me the badass
biscuit bitch, but I couldn’t be sure. Then Evie had rung back,
sounding pissed about something to do with being in the badass
club, saying she had to get shot at and almost die and she still
hadn’t qualified, yet I could do it with some flour and an egg.
Then she asked for the recipe and hung up.

Standing in the kitchen scrubbing baking trays,
my phone rang. I wiped my hands on the hand towel next to me and
picked it up.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Travis said when I
answered.

I fought against the flush of pleasure.
“Travis,” I murmured. “I uh…”

“How’s your day been?”

“Well, it’s Monday, so my day off.”

“And you baked again?”

I tucked the phone into my shoulder as I poured
myself a glass of tap water. “Yes, but I think I’m over it.” I
turned around and leaned against the kitchen bench as I took a sip.
“I think if I bake another biscuit, I’ll turn into one.”

Henry, Mac, and Cooper turned from various
seated positions in the living room to gift me with matching looks
of horror. I frowned and waved a hand at them to turn back
around.

Mac smirked. “Is that Travis?”

“Yes,” I mouthed at her.

“Is he coming over tonight to talk
security
with you?” Cooper asked with an exaggerated
wink.

I rolled my eyes at them, noting that little gem
had obviously done the rounds. The three of them laughed before
turning their attention back to the movie playing out on the
screen.

“Anyway, umm how was work?” I asked.

Mac tittered in the background at my attempt to
make conversation.

“It was okay,” he muttered as I made my way
upstairs to my bedroom for some privacy. “Leaving soon. Thought I’d
stop over and see you.”

“You are?” I scratched at the back of my head,
clearing my throat as I sank down to a huddle on the edge of my
bed. “Travis, I’m not sure—”

“Thought I could get a start on teaching you
those self-defence moves.”

“Oh.” I paused. “Okay. Thank you. That would
be…great.”

After promising to see me soon, he hung up.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there banging the
phone against my head.

Leaving, Quinn. You’re supposed to be
leaving. Not getting giddy over Travis coming to see you.

“Quinn!” Henry yelled up the stairs.
“Dinner!”

I sighed and tossed my phone across the bed.
Henry’s turn cooking usually meant frozen pizza.

Half an hour later, nominated by Mac as
tonight’s “dish bitch,” I was rinsing plates in the sink. My mind
was wandering when a soft kiss pressed against my neck, and I
shrieked with alarm. The plate I was holding fell into the sink
with a loud clatter. The scent of Travis surrounded me, and I
breathed deeply.

“It’s just me,” he said in my ear.

Spinning around, I had a second to hear his
breath catch before his lips were on mine. I wrapped my sudsy arms
around his neck, stretching upwards on my toes. He picked me up, my
feet leaving the floor to wrap around his hips. Travis murmured
something as his hands gripped my thighs. He turned and pressed my
back into the fridge.

I vaguely heard Mac say snidely to Jake, “Get
your feet off the coffee table,” but Travis held my attention as
his tongue rubbed against mine and his fingers dug into my
legs.

“Pause the movie, I need the loo,” I heard her
say again.

“You’ve seen this movie,” came Henry’s
voice.

“What’s your point?”

Travis groaned as I bit down on his bottom lip.
The sound was loud as the silence registered.

Cooper’s voice from the living room cut through
it swiftly. “Apparently that’s how you teach self-defence these
days. Think I’m gonna quit Jamieson and start working for those
guys.”

“Huh,” said Henry.

The talk faded as I was carried outside, and
that only registered because I felt Rufus press his wet nose
against my thigh.

Travis smiled. “Hey.”

“Hi.” I breathed, reeling from the intensity of
the kiss.

“Trust your gut, sweetheart.”

“Sorry?”

He set me down, his expression hardening into
one of authority. “Self-defence, Quinn.” He frowned and I felt like
the naughty kid up the back of class, caught for not paying
attention. “First rule of thumb. If something doesn’t feel right,
it’s usually not.”