Giving It All (15 page)

“Then let’s avoid it.” She held the door for him and watched as he walked down the stairs. The only sound he made was the clicking of his prosthesis.

She gathered up her clothes in her bedroom, her heart racing a bit as she caught the musky scent of sex mixed with Grant’s spicy smell and the flowers of her favorite perfume. Her bed was a mess, the sheets ripped off and the quilt on the floor.

Boy, she’d never had an experience so…rawly sexual before. Her mind reeled as she remembered clinging to him, demanding he enter her. It was like aliens had taken over her body. Really horny, uninhibited aliens at that. She’d have done anything he wanted just to keep him touching her. He’d played her body like an expert, and somehow, she knew he had a lot more to show her.

If he wanted to.

Ellie slumped on the rumpled bed. It bothered her that he wouldn’t take his jeans off all the way. Did he think she cared about his prosthesis? His scars?

Maybe he’s insecure too.

Huh, she’d never really thought about that. In the short time he’d been home, he’d acted a lot like the old Grant, full of confidence and comfortable in his skin. But losing not only a limb, but his career and his wife had to do a number on him. Look at Michael Griswold. He’d only gotten divorced, and he was looking to stroke his ego with anything in a skirt.

It had to be much harder for Grant, losing just about everything. It had been three years since his injury, but how long had it been since the divorce? Could Chastity have said something that made him think he was no longer attractive?

Probably.

Bitch.

Ellie tried to bite back the unkind thought but just couldn’t. Darn it, she’d worked hard at not hating Chastity. Heck, she’d even defended her. Chastity had had everything Ellie had lacked, money, parents who doted on her, beauty, popularity, and most of all, Grant. It would have been so easy to hate her, but no, Ellie had worked hard to look below the surface to the person Chastity was behind the bubbly cheerleader personae, to the somewhat intelligent girl beneath. Like she had told Mel all those years ago, Chastity wasn’t a bad person, just shallow.

But if that shallowness had caused Grant pain, caused him to feel less of a man, less of a human, she’d personally rip out all of Chastity’s bleach blonde hair by the roots.

Chapter Sixteen

Grant woke up in his childhood bedroom feeling at peace for the first time in a long time. His body was relaxed and even the phantom pain in his missing left foot didn’t bother him. A glance at his watch told him he’d slept for almost six hours.

Damn, that was the longest he’d slept unmedicated in years. He should have had sex more often if it made him feel this good.

You tried that. It didn’t work before.

The uncomfortable thought ate at his peacefulness. He’d had sex since he’d lost the leg. Only once with Chastity in an attempt at stopping the inevitable end to their marriage. After she could barely look at him and wouldn’t touch him below the waist, he didn’t bother to try again. A month later, she filed for divorce and he didn’t contest it.

After the divorce was final, he’d hooked up with some women he’d met in bars, mostly Frog Hogs, who actually thought his scars were sexy. He’d ended up feeling worse than he had with Chastity. Sure, he’d gotten his rocks off, but he felt like a notch on someone’s bedpost and the sensation of being used left a bad taste in his mouth.

Nothing about last night with Ellie was bad. His dick twitched as he remembered her coming around him, squeezing him tight. He wanted to feel her come again, taste her, drive her so crazy she begged him again.

Then why did he leave? She’d made it clear she was more than willing for another round. His body didn’t disgust her. In fact, she wanted to see all of him.

And that was the problem.

He wasn’t ready to reveal himself to her, to lay himself open for anyone. How would he do it anyway? It’s not like he could stop in the middle of foreplay so he could take off his BiOM. And he couldn’t climb into bed with her with the thing on. It would be like fucking with his shoes on.

It worked fine last night.

But that was in the heat of the moment. Ellie deserved more. She deserved hours devoted to exploring every inch of her creamy skin. How the hell could he do that and keep his pants on?

His cell phone buzzed, distracting him from his useless, spiraling thoughts. There was a text from Ellie and he opened it quickly.

Dave called, my car’s fixed! Don’t worry about driving me, Peter is running me into town. Thanks anyway.

Oh, great. He’d probably alienated her to the point she didn’t want to be with him this morning.

Smooth, Anderson, real smooth.

He’d make it up to her, maybe get her flowers? That had always worked with Chastity.

But Ellie was almost the exact opposite of Chastity. Crap. What the hell should he do? Chastity had been his only long-term relationship and she’d pretty much set the mold for how he was supposed to behave. How did he figure out what to do for someone so different?

He had to look at this logically, analyze it. Ellie was honest, open, caring. She valued family, honesty and hard work. That was no fucking help. What was he supposed to do? Clean her apartment for her?

No, asshole, be honest with her. Show her your scars, don’t hide from her. Idiot.

Everything in him recoiled at the thought of exposing himself, of being that vulnerable to someone.

He’d find another way to make it up to her.

Coward.

Ignoring his inner voice, he sat up in bed and stretched. He’d take a shower before heading downstairs. His father had PT today and Grant wanted to watch, to see if there was anything he could do at home to help his father recover faster.

Hopping on his good leg, he used the edge of his desk to help propel him to the chair he had placed by the door. From there, it was only two hops across the hall to the bathroom where he could use the vanity for balance. He probably should have shipped his crutches home when he packed up his apartment, but he hated those fuckers and everything they represented.

And really, he didn’t need them except when he was going to take a shower. He had other prosthetics that he could use if his bionics needed repair so he was never without some means of locomotion.

But maybe if he had his crutches, he could take off his foot and still get in bed with Ellie.

Just the thought of hopping around naked while Ellie watched from the bed made him cringe. There were plenty of positions they could explore where he didn’t have to take off his foot. He could make it good for her without exposing his weakness. She’d had no complaints last night.

Not that he’d given her a chance to tell him if she had.

Grant turned the shower on and hoped the pounding spray would drown out the nagging voice in his head.

“Come on, you can’t work twenty-four/seven. Just take one night off. It’ll do you good. All work and no play makes Ellie boring as shit.” Mel’s voice was insistent even through the tinny cell-phone speaker.

“Mel, I’ve got clients who depend on me, I can’t just abandon them.”

“You’re not abandoning them. Isn’t my dad one of your clients too? You can count tonight as a business dinner. Please, El, I need you there.”

Ellie felt herself wavering. Mel rarely asked her anything, and going out to dinner with Mel’s father and his wife wasn’t that big of a deal.

Be honest, you want to get home so you can see Grant. This has nothing to do with how busy you are.

Guilt washed over her as she realized how selfish she was being. Mel
needed
her and all she cared about was trying to get back into bed with Grant.

“Okay, I’ll meet you at the restaurant. When are you getting into town?” Ellie asked.

Grant needed space anyway. Going out to dinner would keep her from crowding him.

“If I can get out of Atlanta in the next hour, I should make it by five o’clock. I’m staying at the Marriot. I can get a double room and you can stay with me. That way you don’t have to drive all the way back to Dale after dinner.”

“You aren’t staying at your father’s house?”

“Hell, no. I’m doing dinner with him and the wifey. There’s no way I can do breakfast too.”

“Gloria is perfectly nice, just very, ah, Southern,” Ellie said as charitably as possible.

Mel’s stepmother was so stereotypical old South she could have been pulled from central casting. She’d gone to finishing school instead of college, got her hair done at the salon once a week, threw tea parties—actual tea-and-crumpet tea parties—and was a member of the country club. It was as if she were stuck in a time warp and was an old Southern belle instead of a middle-aged, modern woman. She was as different from Mel’s edgy, city-slick personality as possible. Luckily, Gloria made Mr. Howard happy, so Mel was willing to hold back her usual sarcastic self for short periods of time. Very short.

“I can’t stay over. I’m already in Canton and don’t have any clothes or anything with me.”

“Buy a toothbrush and some deodorant and don’t worry about the rest. I have a style intervention package already put together for you. You’re gonna love it too. There was the best sale at that boutique you like and I made a killing at the clearance rack.”

“Mel! That store costs the earth.”

“Clearance, sweetie, clearance. And running interference between me and the ’rents is worth full price. Shit, if we can get through dinner without me wanting to jab a fork in my eye, I’ll buy you an entire wardrobe.”

Ellie laughed so hard she almost rear-ended the car in front of her. “I have to go, call me when you get to town and I’ll meet you at the Marriot instead of the restaurant.”

“Thanks, El, I owe you.”

Ellie juggled her schedule in her head. Thank God, her car had been ready and Peter was headed into town. If she’d had to wait until afternoon to come get her car, she never would have had the time to go out tonight.

As she was mentally rearranging her day, she passed a Victoria’s Secret store in a little strip mall. Before she knew what she was doing, she’d pulled her car into an open parking spot right in front of the store. Holy cow. That never happened in this little mall. She usually ended up parking in the reserve lot out in the back end of beyond.

“It’s a sign. The universe wants me to buy sexy underwear.”

The sensible part of her brain railed at her to get back on track and not waste time buying overpriced scraps of lace. Her libido stomped on that sensible idea and suggested she look for a teddy while she was there. In the last week, her libido had gotten quite a bit more aggressive.

If last night was anything to go by, Ellie would let it have free rein. Being sensible may keep her safe, but letting her libido go was way more fun.

Close to an hour later, Ellie left the store with three new bra and panty sets, one in a hot raspberry that she just loved, two thongs and a lovely light blue negligee that was practically sheer and made her look like she wore nothing but a cloud of mist. Sexy, expensive mist, but it was too gorgeous to resist. The lace-edged hem hit her at mid-thigh and the back was cut down to the dimple at the base of her spine. It had a matching thong that tied on the sides for easy removal.

She shivered at the thought of Grant seeing her in it and removing it. Ellie stored her purchases in her car and grabbed her messenger bag. There was a little café that advertised free Wi-Fi two stores down from Victoria’s Secret, she’d get her work done there and mollify her conscience. Maybe if she managed to get some of her regular work done, she could go over the Andersons’ books again. Something wasn’t right, she knew it but just couldn’t find what it was that bothered her so much.

But first, she had to work on what paid the bills. Especially as she’d just dropped twice her annual wardrobe budget on sexy underwear.

Chapter Seventeen

“Bartender, another round,” Mel ordered as she polished off her second whiskey and soda like it was lemonade. “A baby. Fuck me sideways, I didn’t see that coming.”

Ellie and Mel were in the Marriot bar where they’d ended up after an incredibly awkward meal with the Howards. Mel had had the better part of a bottle of wine during dinner and headed straight for the bar as soon as they’d gotten back to the hotel.

“Your dad’s what? Forty-five? Forty-six? Didn’t you say your mom was only twenty when she had you? Gloria is thirty-nine. That isn’t too old to have a baby nowadays.”

“Sure, for other people. This is my
dad
we’re talking about. I can’t imagine him doing it, never mind doing it and making another kid. I mean, seriously, can you picture him doing Gloria doggy style? She probably wears gloves and makes him wear a bathrobe until the lights are off.”

Ellie almost spewed wine. “Thanks for that mental image. I need a Brillo pad for my brain now.”

“How do you think I feel? I mean, didn’t he learn his lesson when I came home with a purple Mohawk? You’d think I put him through enough hell as a teenager that he’d never want to go through it again.”

“Oh, sweetie, he knew you were hurting about your momma’s passing. He didn’t hold it against you. Besides, it was a lovely shade of purple.”

Mel laughed a little too loudly and gulped down another drink. A businessman at the end of the bar lifted his drink in a toast and Mel gave him a once over before turning her back on him.

“What if it’s another girl? Gloria will make her do cotillion training and all that crap.”

“And you’ll sneak her hair dye and black nail polish and take her to Atlanta to deprogram her. It could be fun. Like practice for when you have your own baby.”

“Dear God. That’s not even a little bit funny,” Mel said, choking on her drink. “I’m twenty-six. I’m not thinking about a long-term relationship, forget popping a kid out. I only got over my lesbian phase a few years ago.”

“But you have a successful business and are well established, why wouldn’t you think of finding someone and settling down?” Being married with a baby, a family of her own was one of Ellie’s fondest desires. She could have married Josh, but it wouldn’t have been fair to either one of them to marry him just for the sake of getting married. Still, she hadn’t given up the dream.

“Because I want to travel. I want to
do
something before I buy a home in the ’burbs and get a dog.”

“Who says you have to? Granted, you couldn’t really have a family in your apartment in the city, but there are many families who live in Atlanta. If you find the right guy, you should grab him and live wherever makes you both happy.”

“Fine. If the
right guy
falls into my lap and I can’t resist him, I’d consider getting married, even though twenty-six is way too young. Wait, how did this become about me? Weren’t we talking about my dad and Gloria having sex?”

“I was trying to forget that. Thanks ever so much for reminding me.”

“What are friends for? Are you going to drink that glass of wine or admire it? Come on, bottoms up.”

Ellie tossed back her glass of wine and winced as the room spun. She didn’t drink that often, and two glasses of wine was usually her limit. Good thing she’d decided to stay over with Mel after all, as she’d had at least four glasses and Mel was ordering her another.

“So tell me, what’s new in Dale? Has Pansy Campbell been caught in her underwear in public again?”

“Not recently. I told you about Grant Anderson coming back to help his mom out, right?”

“Ah, yes, I believe you mentioned his return. How’s he look? I know you lusted after him in high school.”

Ellie couldn’t control the shiver that zipped down her spine as she remembered his naked chest over her and his muscled arms surrounding her. She licked her lips and took a sip of her wine.

“He’s freaking gorgeous and hung like a horse,” she blurted out.

Mel grabbed Ellie’s face in her hands so she could look right at her. “Come again? Are you telling me you fucked Grant Anderson? And he’s been home what? A week?”

“It wasn’t like that. Well, not really. Okay, yes.”

“Hallelujah! My little girl is all grown up.” She pretended to wipe a tear from her eye. “This calls for a shot. Bartender, two Screaming Orgasms.”

“Actually, it was three, but I only screamed for one of them.”

Mel laughed so hard she almost fell off the bar stool. “I’m so proud of you. Next thing you know, you’ll be picking up guys in bars. The butterfly has finally emerged from her cocoon.”

“I will not pick up strange men in bars.” Ellie didn’t know how to explain that having sex with Grant was more than scratching an itch with someone she’d had a crush on as a teen. She liked Grant. A lot. Yes, the sex had been incredible and she
really
wanted to do it again, but she also liked just being with him. There was no way to explain that to Mel without sounding like a love-sick fool, so she kept her feelings to herself.

If nothing else, her revelation had gotten Mel’s mind off her future sibling and talking about Gloria and her father having sex.

Grant called Ellie’s phone. Again. And again, it went straight to voicemail. He didn’t bother leaving a message this time. Where the fuck was she? He’d talked to Dave after his dad’s PT appointment and knew she’d picked up her car earlier in the day. What if it had broken down again and she was stuck somewhere on the road? Maybe he should take a drive back to Canton and look for her?

Yeah, because I’m sure she’d appreciate you treating her like a teenager out after curfew.

Biting back a string of curses, he went downstairs to distract himself. It had nothing to do with him getting a clearer view of the driveway.

Shit, what the hell was wrong with him? Ellie was a grown woman. A grown, independent woman. She didn’t have to check in with him if she chose to stay out late or not come home at all. They’d made no promises. In fact, he was the one who’d put space between them. If she wanted to hook up with some asshole she met in Canton, she could.

Fuck.

He was still cursing to himself when he stomped into the kitchen. His mom sat at the table, a stack of what he presumed to be bills sitting in front of her. Several of them had red stamps on the envelopes, which set off alarm bells in his head.

“Hey, Mom, whatcha doing?” he asked, sitting next to her to get a better look.

“Just trying to get the finances figured out. You know your father usually handles this. I know some of these bills are paid online, but I don’t know which ones, and some of these I thought were paid automatically came in as overdue. I don’t understand the online banking and nothing is in the check register. It’s a mess, and that’s the God honest truth.”

“Why don’t you let me figure it out? I do all my banking online. I’m sure your bank can’t be that different than mine.”

“No.” She gathered the bills and pushed them off to the side. “I need to figure this out myself. What if, God forbid, your father never recovers enough to take over the household bills again? I can’t have you coming over here every week to do my banking. You’re gonna have a life, a family of your own.”

“You and Dad will always come first. I remember who was there for me when I got blown up.” It had been his mother’s face at his bedside, not his wife’s.

“Oh, honey, I wouldn’t have been anywhere else. But someday you’ll have a wife, a real wife who you love and loves you the way you deserve. When that happens, she should come first.”

“Well, until that mysterious, mythical woman appears, you and Dad are my number-one priority. So let me help you get the bills straightened out.” He reached for the pile but his mom slapped his hand away.

“Grant Edward, I’ll have you know I’m not an imbecile. I can figure this out. If you do it for me, I’ll never know how to do it on my own. Why don’t you go for a bike ride or something? You’re as twitchy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”

“I am not
twitchy
.”

“Then why are you looking out the window every time a car drives by the house?”

“I’m just wondering where Ellie is. She should have been home by now. I hope nothing happened to her car on her way home.”

“Oh, she’s staying in Canton tonight. Her friend Mel is in town and they’re staying at the Marriot.”

“What? When did you hear that?”

“She left a message on the machine this afternoon.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Last time I checked, I didn’t have psychic powers. How the heck was I supposed to know you wanted to keep tabs on Ellie’s doings?”

“I don’t want to keep tabs on her. I was just worried about her having car troubles again.”

“Then you can rest your mind. She’s fine, just out having a good time with her friend and didn’t want to drive home after she’d been drinking. She’s very conscientious about that, with her family history and all.”

Grant looked at his mother in surprise. “What family history?”

“Don’t you remember? Oh, no, you probably don’t, you were just a little thing. Ellie’s parents were killed by a drunk driver. She was in the back in a car seat and survived. I think she was only about two years old. That’s why her grandma raised her. There was no one else to take her in, poor thing.”

“I guess I sort of knew her parents died in a car accident, but it never really sunk in, you know?” Not that he’d paid much attention to her anyway. “Does she have any other relatives?”

“None that I’ve ever seen. Her father was an only child and I think her mother had a sister in North Carolina or somewhere, but she was sickly or something. I don’t know for sure, but I know Mrs. Hall never had a lick of help from anyone raising Ellie. And now that she’s passed on, Ellie is all alone.”

“Damn. I guess I never really thought about how lucky I was to have all of you. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in all the things I lost. It’s good to remember everything I still have.” He leaned over and kissed his mom’s forehead. “Thanks for always being there for me.”

“Aww, you’re gonna make me tear up.”

“Don’t do that. I hate to see you cry.”

“Then leave me alone. I love a good spell of weeping when my baby says something sweet.”

Grant kissed her again and left before she’d done more than sniffle. He poked his head into the den, but his dad was sleeping so he left him alone. As he headed to his room, he thought about what his mother had said to him about Ellie.

She had no one in her life to back her up. No family anyway. Grant knew friends could be closer than family. Lord knew, he’d go to the mat for any of the guys on his team, and they’d do the same for him. But Ellie didn’t have that. Sure, she had friends, but were they looking out for her best interests? Who was out there making sure some bastard didn’t come along and take advantage of her?

Some bastard like you?

Damn it, he wasn’t taking advantage of her. He genuinely cared about her, worried about her.

But how much of that was because she was available and had been helpful with the business and his dad? What if he’d met her away from this situation? Would he still be interested in her?

Grant pictured the first time he’d seen her walking down the stairs in that black dress that fit like a second skin. Even though she wasn’t what he’d consider his type, she’d caught his eye and held it for a second look. If he’d seen her walk into a bar dressed like that, he’d have made a play for her for sure.

After taking off his BiOM and making sure both batteries were charging, he stripped down to his shorts and climbed into bed. Would he
really
have noticed Ellie in his normal life? She was so damn quiet sometimes. When they’d been at the bake sale, she’d practically disappeared into the woodwork. Her looks were appealing but understated. Next to Pansy or Chastity, she’d look like a wren among peacocks.

Just the thought of Chastity and Pansy made him grimace. He didn’t know about Pansy, but Chastity wouldn’t get the morning paper without being fully made up. God forbid he’d want to make love to her in the morning. She’d put him off until she’d showered, sprayed, powdered and did whatever the hell else it took to make her feel “done”.

Ellie had his dick straining dressed in cut-offs and a ratty T-shirt. She didn’t need a pound of makeup and hairspray to make her attractive. Sure, he’d liked seeing her all done up in the fuck-me heels, but he’d liked her just as much in her lawn-mowing attire.

Maybe it was a good thing he’d met her under these circumstances. If he hadn’t, he might not appreciate her for the down-to-earth beauty she was.

Had he ever told her that? He’d told her she was hot when she was coming, but that wasn’t exactly the same thing as saying she was beautiful in her own right. When had he become such a dork with women? He knew the power of a well-placed compliment. Ellie had him so tied up with the need to get his hands on her, he’d reverted to caveman behavior. Hell, he’d even thrown her over his shoulder and carried her to bed. Maybe next time, he could grab her by the hair and drag her up the stairs.

Fuckwad.

He seemed to be having this conversation with himself a lot in regards to Ellie. Maybe it was time to stop being an ass and actually treat her better.

You could start by being honest and not hiding yourself from her. She doesn’t need some smooth talker. She needs a partner, someone who’ll be there for her.

Grant shut out the light and closed his eyes, but thoughts of Ellie continued to run through his mind. She needed a lot more than he could give, but the idea of cutting her loose so she could find someone else bothered him just as much as the thought of opening himself up to her, or anyone for that matter.