Glass Ceilings (18 page)

Once Nicholas finished his favorite meal, he became miserable. Being in my apartment without being allowed to roam freely was like standing outside the front doors of FAO Schwarz, but not being allowed to go inside.

I couldn't help but feel that forcing them to move in with me was a big fat mistake. All I had going for us was more space. My son wanted to play and be a boy, and my place wasn't at all one-year-old friendly. His restriction to either my lap or his mother's made him cranky, which made me cranky.

Angela saw right through my change in mood. “What's wrong?”

“My place is not conducive to a one-year-old. Your place is homey and safe.”

“Nick, it's nothing a few cabinet locks and child gates won't fix.”

“He looks so sad. I want him to be happy.”

“As long as he's with us, he'll be happy.”

When I smirked she said, “Okay, as long as he has his trucks he'll be happy, but the good thing about one-year-olds is they
can
be very easily distracted. You witnessed that.”

I watched as she opened a few of my kitchen cabinets. Finding what she was looking for, she sat Nicholas down with a few plastic bowls and a plastic serving spoon. Taking her lead, he began banging and thumping on them enthusiastically. It distracted him long enough to enable his mother to come over and kiss me. “See?”

“Brilliant.”

“Trust me. Once we get his stuff here, move some things out of his reach,” she said eyeing my metal balls, “he'll be right at home. Besides, it won't be long before he'll be able to walk out his door of his own free will. I love the idea of having our own room, with an actual door…not to mention what can happen in that amazing shower of yours,” she admitted, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Good point.”

My wife-to-be was remarkable. With every one of my concerns, she had a solution…and with every minute that passed I fell in love with her more and more. My weaknesses were her strengths, making us like puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly.

After dinner, we decided that I'd pack a bag and stay at her place until mine was Nicholas-proofed. She watched quietly as I gathered my files, laptop, and personally registered gun.

“I forget you're an agent. That makes me so nervous,” she admitted out loud.

“The fact I carry a gun?” I glanced to where Nicholas still busied himself with his makeshift drums. “I'm very careful, Angela.”

She shook her head. “No, it's not that. The fact that your job requires you to carry one.” Her eyes shimmered before she closed them tightly. When she opened them, the fear she felt was etched all over her face. “It scares me, Nick.”

I snapped shut my secured case, locking it immediately. Moving toward her, I gathered her in my arms. “Hey, nothing is going to happen to me.”

“You can't know that, but promise me anyway,” she demanded, staring up at me. Her pupils appeared dilated, her heart pounded against my chest.

“I promise.” I tucked her hair behind her ear, looking her directly in the eye. “I absolutely promise,” I repeated.

Nicholas crawled over to where we stood, hesitated a few seconds, then took off for my metal balls with lightning speed.

“Whoa,” Angela said, scooping him up before he reached his target. “I think it's time to get you home, little man.”

“Ball! Ball!”

“Who wants ice cream?”

He stopped fussing immediately. “Kreem?”

“Yes, baby. Let's go home and get you some ice cream.”

“This distraction thing is like magic. I really need to remember this,” I said in awe, causing her to laugh at me. I walked over to my fridge, opened it, and added, “I also need kid food.”

Her eyes landed on the empty shelves holding a few condiments, a few beers, and a few apples, and she laughed sweetly. “We'll get you everything the little man needs.”

We were out the door, and back at her apartment in record time. Once there, we fed him his treat, bathed him to remove all evidence of said treat, read him a story, and tucked him in for the night.

An awkward silence filled her living room when we both realized that the time had come to make the dreaded phone call to my parents.

Sitting side by side on her futon, I picked up my cellphone and asked, “Ready?”

Her unconvincing nod-pout combination caused me to cringe. Part of me worried they'd give Angela a hard time, but we both needed to expect that.

When I dialed my mom's number, she picked up on the second ring.

“I was wondering when I'd be hearing from my gorgeous son. It's not like I didn't call you a week ago or anything.”

“Hello, Mother. Sorry, I've been busy.” Angela met my rolling eyes and scrunched her nose as a reaction.

“You're always busy. Wait, did you call me Mother? Okay, spill it.”

“Spill what?”

“You only call me Mother when you're about to tell me something serious.”

“Is Dad there?” I deflected her question.

“Oh no, now you're really scaring me, Nicholas. Yes he's here. We were just relaxing with Michelle.”

“Oh good. Michelle is there, too. This will save me the trouble of repeating my news.”

“Hey, son. You're on speaker now. How've you been?” Dad's voice came over the phone.

“Good, Dad. Really good.”

“Hey, bro!” Michelle's greeting came next.

“Hi, Shell. How did that audition go?”

“It went phenomenal. I'm waiting to hear back. I'm up against Rachel McAdams.”

“Eh, piece of cake. She can't act.”

My sister laughed at my comment. “You say that about everyone out here.”

“It's true.”

“So, what's this news? You got another promotion?” my dad asked, unable to hide the optimism in his voice.

“No, it's something else. Something great. Can I call you guys on Skype?” I looked at Angela who was gnawing on her bottom lip. Taking her hand in mine, I lifted it to my lips, kissing it before diving into my news. “I'd rather show you then tell you over the phone.”

“Please call now, the suspense is killing me.” My mom's voice came over as practically panicked.

“Okay, okay.”

A few minutes later, I had my laptop set to Skype and the call was connecting to my family as they anxiously waited on the other end of the continent.

“Hi, everyone,” I said once their faces came into view. I had the camera pointed at me, keeping Angela out of the shot.

“Nicholas. You've lost weight.”

“I'm fine, Mom.” I cleared my throat, twice, before admitting, “So, guys, I met someone.”

“Oh thank God!” My mother clasped her hands and exclaimed loudly. The joy she felt was evident all over her face. “You can't fill your life with work and only work, Nicholas. What's her name?”

“Angela. I actually met her in Chicago about two years ago, and we just reconnected.” Angela's breathing picked up as we waited for the onslaught of questions.

“What a beautiful name. That's wonderful, dear. Tell her we can't wait to meet her.”

“Um…she's actually here with me now.” I snuck a quick glance at her before tilting the screen.

“Angela?”

“Hi. It's really nice to meet you. I'm sorry it can't be in person.”

“Oh, we understand, sweetheart. We'll be in for the holidays, and look forward to officially meeting you. You're so pretty. Nicholas, she's stunning.”

“Yes, I know, Mom.”

My dad smiled warmly as he greeted her. Michelle waved a hand before saying hello.

“So, how did you two meet?” my sister asked as Angela fidgeted beside me.

Before calling my parents, Angela and I had decided to keep the details of Ronnie's murder and anything regarding him in general out of the conversation for several reasons. My dad's previous employment at the Pentagon and the lawman he was to his core was the biggest reason. I worried that withholding that key point made her look worse, because it really was Ronnie's threats that caused her to stay away from me.

“We met in Chicago.” I repeated.

“What about Stacie?” I rolled my eyes at my sister's question. Of course Michelle would bring up Stacie. “What?” she asked obliviously.

“Things between Stacie and me could never progress. She actually knew our story, and wasn't surprised when Angela and I reconnected. Stacie is very happy for me.”

“So tell us, how did you two get together in New York?”

“I met Angela at the end of my time in Chicago. She was planning on following me to New York shortly after I'd left. Unfortunately, things happened that changed her plans. Her uncle passed away, and his death was a shock to her family. Weeks passed and our relationship changed. The distance between us, the stress of her personal life, even my new job promotion and its demands all made it difficult to keep that insane connection we felt in Chicago.”

“That's understandable,” my mother said with a nod. “What's important is that you found each other again. We are so thrilled. Angela, we're sending you a big hug until we can hug you in person.”

“Thank you. Same here.”

“Mom, there's more.” Angela squeezed my hand in anticipation of what was about to come. The best way to handle it was to just say it. After dragging in another deep breath, I said, “Um…after her uncle's funeral Angela had a bad bout with the flu. While in the hospital, she found out she was pregnant.”

A collective gasp along with their shocked faces came through the screen loud and clear.

“You have a child?” my dad asked quietly as my mom sat in shock, no longer able to form any words.

“Yes, a son. His name is Nicholas, and he's just over a year old.”

“And you're only finding out now?” Michelle shrieked, causing Angela to flinch beside me. “How could she keep him from you like that?”

“Michelle!”

“What, Nick? It's a legitimate question!”

“It's not all on her, Michelle.” It wasn't fair for anyone to judge Angela not knowing the full story. “I didn't make it easy on her. While over the phone with the miles stretching between us, I made it very clear how important my job was. Insecurities toward my reaction to being a father had her waiting to tell me about Nicholas until she was able to make the move from Chicago. Unfortunately, it took longer than she wanted.”

Angela cut her eyes to me. The lies I just told were deliberate, and the only way I could protect her from their judgment.

I allowed them to digest it, not speaking as they did. Angela's tears fell while she sat beside me. Trying to comfort her, I smoothed her hair back and wiped her tears but it wasn't working. My mother watched our exchange, her face softening into a small smile through her own tears.

Suddenly Angela sat up straight and dragged in a deep breath.

“I know the choices I made kept Nicholas from Nick—from you all—for a year. I thought long and hard over my decision, and I will carry that tremendous guilt for the rest of my life. Thankfully Nick and Nicholas have already formed an amazing bond, and with each day I intend to make up for lost time. Mr. and Mrs. Farley, I love your son, more than you'll ever know. He's an amazing man, and Nicholas and I are extremely fortunate to have him in our lives. I can only hope that someday you'll forgive me, as he has.”

My family sat quietly, continuing to process the news in their own ways.

“We dumped a lot on you guys, but there's one more thing we wanted to tell you.”

“Isn't the fact I have a grandson I didn't know about enough?” Dad quipped.

Ignoring him, I added, “Angela and I are planning on getting married soon. I want my son to have my name.”

“Alone? Without your family?” my mother asked desperately. She twisted her hands nervously on her lap, making me feel guilty for denying her the traditions she valued so much in life.

“Yes. I'm sorry you all can't be here, but we want to do it sooner than later. We'll find a way to properly celebrate with you all down the road. Please know that I love Angela, and she loves me. Together we know we made mistakes, and we forgave each other for them. The most important thing to us is moving forward with our son.”

“We love you, Nick. You know we do. If you're happy, then we're happy.”

Reaching over, I skimmed my hand over Angela's face. Her eyes shimmered with emotion and she closed them as she leaned into my touch. I turned back to the screen and said, “I'm very happy, Mom.”

“I can see that, son. I can tell.”

I texted pictures of Nicholas to Michelle's phone, and watched while my mom sobbed tears of joy as she stared at my son's face. Them seeing him for the first time, brought on even more heart-wrenching emotions.

The pictures turned the awkward call into one filled with laughter and promises that they'd be back to New York sooner than originally planned to meet them both, Michelle included.

When I finally hung up, Angela visibly relaxed beside me. I pulled her onto my lap, gently pushing her hair behind one ear while gazing into her eyes.

In spite of how difficult that conversation was, I felt so much lighter now that they knew it all…except for the part regarding Ronnie and his murder.

“Baby, all things considered, it really went well.”

“They think I'm an awful person. I shouldn't be upset by it, but I so desperately want for them to forgive me.”

“They will. I promise they will. The worst is over.”

“Nick, you didn't have to say that.”

I knew immediately what she was referring to. “Yes, I did. They don't know what drove you to make your decisions, and it's not fair to let them think you alone were to blame. I should've fought harder for you.”

“I love you,” she said before leaning closer to kiss me softly.

The kiss quickly morphed into an all-consuming act of need. Between the relief of telling my family and the fact that Nicholas was sleeping fitfully, my libido no longer wanted to be patient and made no secret that it wanted to be acknowledged.