God of Tarot (31 page)

“Now, that isn’t nice,” a gentle voice said. Abashed, the children faded into the crannies from which they had issued. A strange young man took Paul’s arm, supporting him. “Come, sir, I fear you are injured. We can help you.”

“No, no,” Paul protested weakly. “I have somewhere to go—”

“You are bleeding from the head, you are dead tired, filth-encrusted, and—” the man paused, examining him sharply. “You have the aspect of a mnemdict in the throes of sudden withdrawal. You are in trouble, sir.”

“Can’t remember,” Paul said. “Who—”

“I am Brother John of the Holy Order of Vision,” the man said. “We understand mnem addiction; we can help you. Trust us.”

The Holy Order of Vision!
That
was where he had been headed! And he had almost made it, before lapsing out. But what would they do when they learned of his part in the death of Sister Beth? For he would have to tell them. Before he forgot his guilt.

Guilt! That was the thing pursuing him! How could he ever escape it?

“You can’t help me,” he said. “My life is shit. My innermost self—my soul—is a steaming turd. Worthless. Don’t soil your hands on me.”

Brother John neither flinched nor scowled. “Fecal matter is the raw material for compost,” he said. “A vital stage in the cycle of renewal. Soil, the fundament; without it, most life on this and any other planet would soon stifle and become extinct. There must be death and rebirth, and between them is the soil. Your soul serves God’s purpose there, and there need be no shame in that.”

No shame! If only he could believe that! Still, the other matter, the death of— “I can’t.”

Brother John held out a deck of cards. “Will the Tarot help?”

Bemused, Paul took a card at random. He turned it up. It was the Eight of Wands: eight sprouting poles flying through the air, coming to rest on the ground. Their force was spent. “My force is spent,” Paul repeated.

“Because you are swiftly approaching your goal, your true desire?” Brother John inquired.

His goal. Suddenly it was as though a great light shone about him, blindingly. Paul knew what he had to do.

“Do not stare into the morning sun, sir,” Brother John cautioned him. “That will injure your eyes.”

But that didn’t matter. What was physical sight, compared to the phenomenal revelation he was experiencing? He had persecuted and taken the life of a member of the Holy Order of Vision; he must return a life to that Order. His own life. There had been death; there would be renewal. Between them was the soil. His soul.

He had found—home. “God bless you, Brother,” Paul said.

Appendix

Animation Tarot

The Animation Tarot deck of concepts as recreated by Brother Paul of the Holy Order of Vision consists of thirty Triumphs roughly equivalent to the twenty-two Trumps of contemporary conventional Tarot decks, together with five variously tilted suits roughly equivalent to the four conventional suits plus Aura. Each suit is numbered from one through ten, with the addition of four “Court” cards. The thirty Triumphs are represented by the table of contents of this novel, and keys to their complex meanings and derivations are to be found within the applicable chapters. For convenience the Triumphs are presented below, followed by a tabular representation of the suits, with their meanings or sets of meanings (for upright and reversed fall of the cards); the symbols are described by the italicized words. Since the suits are more than mere collections of concepts, five essays relating to their fundamental nature follow the chart.

No Animation Tarot deck exists in published form at present. Brother Paul used a pack of three-by-five-inch file cards to represent the one hundred concepts, simply writing the meanings on each card and sketching the symbols himself, together with any other notes he found pertinent. These were not as pretty or convenient as published cards, but were satisfactory for divination, study, entertainment, business and meditation as required. A full discussion of each card and the special conventions relating to the Animation deck would be too complicated to cover here, but those who wish to make up their own decks and use them should discover revelations of their own. According to Brother Paul’s vision of the future, this deck will eventually be published, perhaps in both archaic (Waldens) and future (Cluster) forms, utilizing in the first case medieval images and in the second case images drawn from the myriad cultures of the Galactic Cluster, circa 4500 A.D. It hardly seems worthwhile for interested persons to wait for that.

Suit Cards

Court Cards

Triumphs

0 — Folly (Fool)

1 — Skill (Magician)

2 — Memory (High Priestess)

∞ — Unknown (Ghost)

3 — Action (Empress)

4 — Power (Emperor)

5 — Intuition (Hierophant)

6 — Choice (Lovers)

7 — Precession (Chariot)

8 — Emotion (Desire)

9 — Discipline (Strength)

10 — Nature (Family)