God of the Abyss (47 page)

It was dangerous and difficult to keep the child
alive until Ronez, the child of Tiamat and Dylan, was born. However, as hard as
the universe fought against him, Samhail was my child and had inherited my
resilience.

I tried to teach him before Ronez was born, but he
was afraid. He could see the possible paths in front of him before he was old
enough to understand them, and sometimes, he didn’t know what was real and what
wasn’t. He never let me help him until Ronez was old enough to be reasonable
for the both of them.

Then there was the Ancient. Oh, he was amusing, and
very easy to manipulate. I knew the balance well enough to fool the demon. He
was very powerful, but equally arrogant and desperate. I chose him because he
was the first to find his way out; the bravest and cleverest. Obviously, he
would either go after my child or Dylan, but as long as Dylan was with Mordon,
the imbalance that Samhail caused without Ronez was greater. He believed
Samhail was his chance to escape the void, when instead, I was using him to bring
the child to Dylan.

Everything went perfectly according to plan and it
was to my great amusement that nobody suspected me at all. Then Samhail told
Dylan I was still here and they blocked his mind from me. Undeterred, I turned
my attention back to the sidelines. Ronez was working on the Ancient in the
void, so all I had to do was distract Janus after the Ancients and minor demons
escaped the void. The silly demon thought he made it out on his own without his
power.

In the end, my patience would be rewarded. Dylan was
certainly the one in the prophecies, and when the other Iadnah were arguing
over whether or not to kill him, I was carefully weaving a plot to use him to
get exactly what I always wanted.

Keeping secrets from Dylan was more difficult than I
could have predicted. He wanted answers and hunted them relentlessly until I
thought he would never follow my plans. I knew if I could keep him safe until
he could make his choice, there would be peace. At least for everyone except
him.

Dylan

The one thing I could always be sure of was that I
never knew everything, and that was okay with me. For the first time in my
life, I understood what destiny was; it wasn’t a goal, a choice, or a blessing.
I realized, sitting at the springs with my brother, that my whole life had been
planned for me. I was only alive for one purpose and I had no say in it. I was
never free, not for a day since I was born.

I had spent my entire life looking for answers… and I
realized it was wasted. What good were answers when they couldn’t change the
outcome? When they led to this?

Mordon was giving me a worried frown. He didn’t
understand yet, and he wouldn’t if I didn’t tell him. I was used to having the
answers when others didn’t. If I told him, he would tell me what choice to
make. He would demand that I deny my destiny.

And I wanted to. I could feel it in my soul that this
wasn’t good.

“Whatever’s wrong, I can help you,” Mordon said. “No
matter what it is.”

I nodded and he helped me stand. “Then we should get
back, because we have a universe to save. I know what I have to do. What
Vretial said was a phrase, like an incantation.”
More like an invitation.

“To do what? Are you planning on doing something
stupid?” he asked.

I grinned, picking up the wands. “I love how much
faith you have in me.” I flashed us home. “We need to go outside and make a
sort of circle,” I said. “Whatever you normally do with ritual magic. Not
Emiko. She stays in here.”

I went outside with Mordon and we were soon followed
by Divina, Edward, Ron, and Sammy. Divina used magic to create a pentagram
inside of a circle. Each of my family sat at one of the points. Not one of them
hesitated or asked me if what I was doing was right. They figured that if I had
made up my mind, they would take my word for it.

I gazed up at the twin moons and hoped I would see
them again. They were one of the first things I saw of Duran. I sat in the
middle of the circle and Mordon handed me the lotus wand. All the while his
eyes promised a horrible beating if I did anything stupid.

I tried to smile, and he scowled. “I will burn holes
in every single pair of your socks for whatever you’re about to do.”

“I look forward to it. Everyone grab your artifacts.
Think about the power in them and how that power affects life. How each element
affects the universe.”

“I don’t like this,” Divina said. “I know a
sacrificial lamb when I see one.”

“I can smell your resignation,” Mordon agreed. I took
Divina’s hand in my right one and Mordon’s in my left.

“But I have you both. All of you. I know you would
never let me do anything wrong.”

“Do you mean you want us to stop you?” Edward asked.

“There will be plenty enough time for that later. I
do need to do this. I can’t think of any other way. Trust me, if there was any
way more desirable, I would think of it.” I caught that look in Mordon’s eye.
Yes, I said exactly what I meant. There was another way, but I couldn’t bare
it, and I doubted it would work. “Now everyone, just concentrate on your
element.”

I had the lotus wand, which was the spirit. There was
so much I could focus on, because the spirit was so important in this universe.
I remembered everyone I met since I opened my door to Edward. Everyone had
powerful, diverse spirits. Divina was childlike, graceful, and passionate.
Edward was determined and brave. Mordon was stubborn and honorable. He always
followed his heart and I knew if anyone would keep me from hurting someone due
to the balance, it was him. He was my brother.

I looked at my wife. She was a different person after
the incident with Vretial, but I still loved her. Trust between us was a
difficult concept; she was dangerous and powerful and there was a very dark
side to her. Some small, buried part of her was able and willing to destroy
everything, but she loved me.

Sammy was crying as if he knew what was to come. Most
likely, he had seen it and found no way to stop it, which explained Ron’s
resigned expression. Edward looked like he was preparing to either fight or
talk me out of this, but he remained quiet.

It took hours of concentration before I felt the wind
pick up and the temperature drop. I could feel the weight of the universe
coming down on me and tried to project acceptance, but it was difficult. This
didn’t feel right. My instincts had never failed me before, but this time I
couldn’t risk it. I had to do this.

The wind was strong enough to make it challenging
just to stand, but I couldn’t do this on my knees. I couldn’t take this
kneeling in the dirt. I was about to speak when Mordon slapped his hand over my
mouth to silence me. “What are you doing?!” He had to shout to be heard over
the wind.

I pulled his hand away. “We brought the balance here
so that it can possess me like it did Vretial! If it bonds with my magic, I can
keep it calm enough that it never bothers anyone again! I have to do this! I
have to say the invocation! Between you and Divina, you both can keep me from
doing anything bad!”

“Zirdo a olpirt nothoa oi ors.” We heard the words
over the wind to and turned to see Ron.

“No!” I tried to get to him, but Sammy created an
energy shield that I couldn’t break without hurting him. “Ron! Stop!”

“Ol trian prap, Ol fafen argedco a gevamna.”

There was no darkness that could be seen entering my
little boy. There wasn’t a gasp or flash of light or even blood spilling. He
just went to his knees. The wind died, the shield collapsed, and I pulled Ron
into my lap. He wasn’t breathing. He wasn’t moving, or crying, or breathing.

I tried to send my magic into him to heal, but it was
blocked… completely and utterly blocked. I think amongst my screams I demanded
that Divina help him. Not even Mordon’s magic could get through to him. I
didn’t know why Divina couldn’t help him, I couldn’t understand her words. Or
maybe I was screaming too loud that someone help him. I even screamed for
Vretial to save him. All I knew was that Ron wasn’t opening his eyes.

“Daddy, you have to let him go!” Sammy demanded. I
held him tighter.

“You don’t want your father to help him?” Mordon
asked with disbelief.

Why are they talking and not helping Ron?

“It’s the spell! Ron showed me how to protect him
like he does me. Not even a god’s magic can do anything to him without me. I
can help him!”

I was trying to listen. I understood that I had to
let Sammy see Ron, but I couldn’t force myself to let him go. I couldn’t even
stop myself from fighting Mordon as he pulled me away. I screamed, I kicked,
I’m pretty sure I tried to burn down Duran, but Mordon wouldn’t let me go. And
then something hit me and everything stopped. I fell hard next to my son and
that was the last thing I knew.

*          *          *

Nightmares twisted in my mind; everything from my son
being dead to little more than a zombie. The most terrifying outcome was that
he would be in a vegetative state, where he couldn’t be in this world or the
next and I would never be able to let him move on. But every time my dreams got
too horrible to bear, I heard Sammy’s voice. When I could focus on him, he told
me old Duran stories. Peaceful, happy stories.

I didn’t know I could cry in my sleep.

I woke to his voice and turned on my side so I could
breathe through the pain in my throat. Although, I knew if I discovered my son
was dead that I would never be able to breathe again. Ron was my little angel.
He was the sweetest, happiest, most loving child that ever existed. The
universe was nothing without him.

“Make him stop. He’s going to die of pain. Wake up,
idiot!” I heard Mordon’s voice and threw my arm up in order to avoid a boot to
the head. It was a stinky sock.

I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was Sammy
in a chair next to the bed. He smiled and set a book down. The next thing I saw
was Ron sitting on the bed next to me with his usual smile. I couldn’t breathe,
but I pulled him into a hug until he started squeaking.

I let him go and he panted. “Don’t do that, Daddy,
you’ll squeeze me too much and I’ll grow up skinny. I don’t want to be skinny,”
Ron said.

I looked around to see Mordon, Divina, and Edward in
the room. Mordon was sitting at the foot of my bed while Divina sat on a chair
on the opposite side of the bed as Sammy. Edward was standing by the window,
brooding and protective as always.

“What happened? Why couldn’t I heal you?” That was as
long and I could go before hugging him again. I just didn’t squeeze quite so
hard.

“I had foreseen the words required to absorb the
balance months ago,” Sammy explained. “Ron and I worked it out and realized
that Vretial wasn’t the bad guy. He had a choice, and he made it. You were
going to, also, but we decided that it would be better for us.”

“He’s only four,” I whispered. If I didn’t say it out
loud, maybe it wouldn’t be true. If Sammy would stop explaining it, maybe it
didn’t really happen.
Maybe I am still having a nightmare.

“He is the son of you and Tiamat,” Sammy pointed out.
“He will be wiser and more powerful than anyone. I know he’s too young now, but
it was now or never. Ron and I can handle it. You were willing to take the dark
because you knew that your brother and your mate could keep you from doing
anything wrong. Ron has me.”

“The words he said, though… They weren’t the same
ones that Vretial said,” Mordon said.

Sammy shook his head. “Ron taught me the magic mom
used on him to protect me.”

Divina caught my gaze. It didn’t escape her notice
that he called her “mom” for the first time. For her, this meant that she was
successful as a mother. For me, this meant that Sammy really thought of us as
his family and was here to stay. This was monumental to both of us.

Sammy went on, oblivious. “I used it on him before
the ritual, so he had to do a little more to open himself up for it. Neither of
us can ever be possessed, our wills can never be forced, and our minds can
never me read. Except with each other and whenever we allow someone access. For
me, it only affects my mind and soul, but I didn’t do it right. I made it too
protective on Ron and it affects all magic on him. I’m sorry, but that means
only I can heal him. For now, at least. Ron is helping me to adjust it so that
I am only protecting his mind.”

“Why? If you can protect him completely, why not do
it?”

“That kind of magic is dangerous, and extremely
strenuous. Protecting someone’s mind is difficult enough for a full blooded
god. Ron is a lot more powerful than me, and he had the ability since he was
born. I have only a little Iadnah power. Even to protect his mind, I will
sometimes need help. Ron and I agreed that using the magic to protect him
entirely would be too draining, especially if I keep
seeing
things. I
have faulty control when I see things.”

“So the balance is in Ron?” I asked, letting him up.
He smiled at me. It wasn’t a fake smile or a sad, reassuring smile, but his
“everything is really okay” smile.

“It’s there. I can feel it, but it can’t hurt anyone.
If it tries, my brother will help me.”

“Can you live with this for the rest of eternity?” I
asked. I had to think of a way to help him.

Mordon smacked me in the back of the head. “Listen to
him and stop plotting.”

“I’ll be plotting your grave if you hit me again,” I
growled at him.

Go easy on him; he is desperately worried for his
child,
the semi-familiar voice whispered across my mind. I didn’t know if I
was hearing Mordon’s thoughts of Rojan’s words, or if I was actually
overhearing the dragon.

Ron laughed. He had a laugh that made everyone focus
on him. “I made a decision. It was just one of many I will make. As long as
you’re not mad at me, I’m happy.”

“I could never be angry with you.”

His smile brightened. “Really? Even if the balance of
the universe is inside me? Because, it really wants to kill you, Daddy. I mean,
it really, really does. The universe is inside me, and it wants you dead.”

I cleared my throat and gathered his hands into his
lap. “I think your mother is better at this kind of thing. I have something I
think I need to go do real quick.” I paused. “As long as you’re really okay,” I
said.

Ron frowned and touched his hand to his forehead like
he was checking for fever. “I’m good.”

“Good,” Mordon said. “Now, about you trying to
sacrifice yourself without even warning me…” Mordon growled at me.

“I can explain everything,” I said.

“I’m listening,” he said. I opened my mouth to speak
and flashed to Vretial. He was sitting on the boulder under the apple tree.
“When in the world did I say I hated apples?” I asked.

He looked thoughtful. “Maybe that never happened. Who
knows? I don’t suppose you came to apologize.”

“I figured it out. I know you weren’t really in your
right mind. You asked me why I didn’t think you were a bad man. Even though you
did horrible things, I didn’t think you were evil. I knew you weren’t. But
really, could a god be good or bad? I’m actually kind of sad.”

He laughed. “You wanted an opponent. I could create
one for you.”

I shook my head. “Thanks, but he would just end up
fighting Ron. Then Rojan would eat him. You said you saved ‘all those people.’
What people? You weren’t talking about the people on the outer worlds that you
cleared off.”

“Avoli’s people. I saved his people and then I made
the decision to face the universe alone.”

“You said that you didn’t tell your servant to kill
my father. You knew Shio would, though, didn’t you?”

“Yes. I knew your father would die at Shio’s hand,
just like I knew the Noquodi of Mulo would kill the boy’s mother.”