Goddess (8 page)

‘Why?’

‘Because he’s not a murderer.’

They locked stares for several long moments, long enough for the heat to win fresh beads of sweat from her skin. She traced their silent descent between her breasts until Arafanz spoke again. ‘We are here,’ he said, his voice emotionless.

‘Where?’

‘I shall show you.’ He plucked a sack from his camel and pulled it across his body. ‘We’ll need some light.’

He helped her climb from the gentle Farim and led Ana towards what looked like more of the rocks their camels had been keeping close to. But when they were just inches from the rock face she noticed a gap, cunningly hidden by folds in the rock.

‘How clever,’ she breathed, unable to stop her admiration from spilling over. ‘How do you find it?’

He grinned and the amusement again touched his eyes. ‘I have taught these camels from calves how to find this place. Neither has ever been used for any other journey. The secret of this important location lies with Farim and her companion.’

Ana was struck by the notion that Aranfanz had invested such faith in a pair of dumb animals. ‘And what if something happened to either of the camels?’

‘Then the secret is lost,’ he said calmly, easing himself into the gap and reaching for her. ‘Let me lead you. It can be precarious.’

She took his hand, felt the strength it possessed as it closed around her own and let him gently guide her into the cool dungeon-like cave beneath the vast rock face.

Once inside, Ana looked up from the ground where her gaze had been carefully picking out safe spots to plant her feet, and found herself confronted by a magnificent rockpool. Water dripped deliciously in a sound that echoed off the cave walls. She sucked in her breath at the beautiful, cool atmosphere that soothed her.

‘This is our spring. Beautiful, isn’t it? I needed to check on it,’ Arafanz murmured. Ana could barely speak for pleasure. He knew it too, she could tell from the deep amusement in his eyes. ‘But it gets so much better. Let me show you.’ Again he took her hand, this time leading her down a tunnel. It was so dark that her only connection to reality was Arafanz’s warm, reassuring grip. He halted and she heard flint strike and saw sparks explode a couple of times, as her surroundings were illuminated for only an instant before being plunged into darkness again. Finally, a flame, and then a candle was lit. She looked slightly above them to a roundish opening.

‘We’re going in there?’

‘Trust me.’ Once again he reached out his hand.

Ana took it. In a blink Arafanz had encircled her waist, his mouth close to her ear as he quietly spoke. ‘I’m going to lift you. Just crawl in. At the other end of the very short tunnel is an opening. Don’t panic at the end. It is dark but I shall be right behind you and will bring the light. Just crawl out of the tunnel and you will be on a wide ledge. I promise you will come to no harm but the light will have to be extinguished momentarily.’

She turned. They were close enough to kiss. His eyes glittered in the subdued light. Ana nodded and lifted her robe, glad that they had given her trousers today, and then felt herself being swung easily into the air by Arafanz’s strong arms. She got purchase on the opening within moments and began crawling down its dark depths. As he’d promised she found herself on a ledge. Arafanz was beside her seconds later.

‘Are you all right?’

She was bemused by his concern. For someone who had gone to such lengths to terrify her, he was incredibly cautious with her physical health. ‘Yes, it was all as you said.’

Their voices were the only sounds in what felt to her a cavernous space. It was so black where they sat, Ana began to lose sense of where she was. His body, its warmth, his voice were her only anchors.

‘I’ve brought you to my most private place. No-one else has ever visited here with me, not even my son. No-one else even knows of it.’

‘Other than your two camels,’ she said, giggling.

She didn’t know if he smiled but she heard a wistful tone when he spoke.

‘I think of it as mine.’

‘Then why am I here?’

‘I’m not sure,’ and she heard the ruefulness in his voice. ‘Because you are special,’ he whispered so close to her ear his breath stirred her hair.

Ana heard the strike of the flint again and a first candle was lit, then a second. Arafanz stood and moved gracefully around the space he obviously knew well, lighting lamps that had clearly been left from previous visits. And as the illumination increased, so did Ana’s awe. By the time Arafanz returned to where she sat the cave was bathed in soft light and a tear of joy slipped down her cheek.

He smiled fully and she saw genuine pleasure in his face, wondered how long it had been since he’d looked so happy.

‘I did warn you it got better,’ he said and reverently kissed her hand as he helped her down from the ledge.

Ana was surprised by his tenderness but didn’t overreact by flinching, snatching away her hand. Instead, she nodded graciously, unsure of how else to behave. ‘What is this place?’

‘I think of it as my place of worship. It’s where I feel closest to my Goddess.’

And Ana understood. The roof of the vast cave arched magnificently as though it were the ceiling of a grand temple. Hanging from the rocky roof and growing from the rocky cave floor were spellbinding columns that sparkled with more incandescence than any of the jewels people had swooned over in the harem.

‘These are the Crystal Pillars of Lyana. I like to think of them as sentries to her finest natural temple. I come here to pray.’

‘Are my eyes deceiving me or are they changing colour?’ she asked.

‘No deception. Come, touch them. Feel their beauty, listen to them.’

‘Listen to them?’

‘They will speak to you.’

She walked over to one glimmering column and touched it. It felt warm to her touch. She leaned into its rocky, glistening crystals and put her ear close.

‘Do you hear?’

‘A sighing sound?’

He clapped. ‘Yes!’

She had not previously seen Arafanz so animated. She laughed, their enmity forgotten for the time being.

‘They are whispering to us, Ana.’

‘What do they say?’

‘They speak only to the individual listener, Ellyana tells me.’

‘She has been here? I thought you said no-one else knows of it.’

‘I have not brought her here. I have no idea if she has seen it but I described the pillars to her and that was her response many years ago. Do they speak to you?’

‘I hear no words.’

‘Perhaps you must be alone. This is how Lyana speaks to me. The pillars told me about you. That’s how I knew when you were born.’

She stepped back from the column, unnerved by his words. ‘Lyana told you this?’

He nodded.

‘Arafanz, I am not Lyana.’

He smiled sadly. ‘I know. But you are important to her. I do not yet know why. But she will reveal all to us as she chooses.’

‘I have been given no instructions.’

‘But still you remain the central figure to her fight.’

‘She has never communicated with me.’

He nodded. ‘She will. You must trust her.’

‘What if you’re all wrong? What if I am simply a goatherd’s daughter who has created a lot of problems within the harem and drawn undue attention to herself?’

‘We are not wrong. Too many people are involved with your life for it to be inconsequential to the fight. Do you know who Iridor is?’

‘He’s the owl,’ she said, deliberately evasive.

‘And his mortal incarnation?’

‘I have no idea,’ she lied.

‘I thought he might be Lazar. But the Spur used no magics to save you, or himself. If he were Iridor he would surely have employed his magic to help his friend, Jumo, certainly to fight me for you. No, Lazar is simply a man in love with you. It is understandable.’ He held her gaze.

Ana cleared her throat. ‘I am Zaradine to Boaz.’

‘That does not mean he owns your heart.’

‘No,’ she said carefully. ‘But I am fond of Boaz. He is a good ruler. He will be a great one for Percheron.’

‘A new regime will not permit him to sit the throne. He comes from a long line of followers of Zarab.’

‘That is not his fault. As a ruler he is just and loyal to his people.’

‘I’m not interested in his ability to rule his people. I’m interested only in the Zar’s pastoral care of his people. If he worships Lyana, so too will they. If he outlaws Zarab-worship, they will ultimately fall in with his desires. Zarab was forced upon the Percherese centuries ago. Now he will be driven from their lives and Lyana will prevail. Boaz is not the man to help in this regime change.’

‘And my son is? A baby?’

Arafanz nodded. ‘With the right guidance, yes. He will come to the throne when he’s old enough
with no preconceptions of life gone before. He will not know his father. He will be taught Lyana’s ways. He will know his mother follows her way, shares the Goddess’s name.’

‘Not know his father? How can you deny a son his father when you yourself keep such careful watch over your boy?’

‘I have put my son into much danger and his life has always been forfeit. Boaz is not worthy of his child.’

‘I cannot believe that Lyana would allow such a thing. She would surely want my son to know his father.’

Arafanz shrugged, ending the conversation. ‘I have another treat for you. Please, wait here.’

‘Where are you going? I don’t want to be alone.’

‘Not far and I need only a few moments,’ he said, agilely scaling a series of ledges until he reached a long, wide platform. He pointed. ‘This is not rock, here,’ he called down.

She nodded. ‘I can just make it out…a circle of timber?’

‘I had it made to exact specifications. There is only one particular hour of the day when I can do this and it changes with the season. Now is the hour.’

Ana looked up at him puzzled. ‘For what?’

‘Watch,’ he said and, with a flourish, he tugged at the rope that led from the disc. The wooden trapdoor fell away and instantly the central part of the chamber was flooded by a
glorious light. The rays bathed the columns and fractured into rainbow colours whilst the columns themselves seemed to sing, their crystals sighing as the warmth hit their cool surface. Their voices became a chorus and their colours began to shimmer and change rapidly.

Ana felt tears wet her cheeks again. This surely was Lyana’s Temple. She realised that Arafanz was at her side once more.

‘Come, stand amongst her throng,’ he said gently and led her to a special raised plinth that was encircled by the largest of the pillars. ‘You must go to the parapet alone,’ he said, nodding to the naturally carved steps that would lead her to the platform. With the choir of pillars singing to her, the magnificent colours shimmering around her, Ana walked up the stairs and stepped onto the rock platform encircled by the sentinels.

And she heard them.

‘Welcome, Mother,’ they sang.

Five moons later…

Lazar stared out towards the hills and the desert that he knew lay beyond. ‘Ironic,’ he commented to Pez. ‘Seventeen moons ago I was looking longingly towards the Stone Palace, desperate to be here. Now I gaze out from it with equal longing to be gone.’

‘You are over the worst, are you not?’

The Spur nodded wearily. ‘Well enough. I must make ready to leave.’

‘Boaz can’t wait to see you on your way.’

‘This time I go with no-one in tow. Just us.’ He swung around to face the dwarf. ‘I wish you had made that trip once more so we can be sure.’

‘But I’m not sure I could survive it, my friend. It was a perilous journey last time. If I took the chance and succumbed to the heat, to loss of direction, to any one of the many hawks that want me for a meal, we would lose our only chance of finding Ana. No, we do it once and we bring her home. We know she is being cared for, I’m sure of it, so this wait has been wise. In fact, I’ve had this
niggling feeling that this is somehow all to do with the rising of the Goddess.’

‘I thought we’d cleared that up,’ Lazar replied wearily. ‘Ana is no such thing.’

‘I shall believe what I wish. You are welcome to your own theory. The Goddess is rising, Lazar, I feel it even if I don’t understand it.’

‘What about Maliz?’ Lazar murmured.

‘I’ve been clever at staying out of his way. The Grand Vizier is kept busy for Boaz and from what I can glean seems more concerned with setting up an escape route for the Zar, Valide and the harem.’

‘What’s his plan? He should consult me.’

‘As far as I know it’s the eastern foothills. I overheard the Grand Vizier telling Boaz that he knows them well.’ Lazar smirked. ‘Yes, my thoughts exactly. Tariq wouldn’t know what foothills look like. But Boaz’s mind is too filled with responsibility and private mourning over Ana to take note that his Grand Vizier is suddenly so knowledgeable.’

‘Boaz has visited me often these past moons and from what I can tell he has no intention of leaving the city.’

‘The Grand Vizier is relentless in pushing for him to abandon the palace and its seraglio. That said, he isn’t planning for the Zar to be anywhere near the harem women in their escape. Only the Valide would be permitted to accompany Boaz. As for Salmeo, I don’t think Tariq cares what happens to him.’

‘What’s his motivation, do you think?’

Pez shrugged. ‘He claims he is preserving the palace hierarchy, or so he assures the Zar.’

‘It’s a lie, of course.’

‘The curious part is, Lazar, I do think he cares about Boaz—well, care, that’s an odd word I know. But there’s certainly an element of desiring the Zar’s survival.’

‘That’s madness, though. What happens to Percheron is irrelevant to Maliz. His interest lies only in the destruction of Lyana, whenever she turns up. He’s simply biding his time. All of this mortal angst with war is purely sport for him, wouldn’t you agree?’

‘I do. I can’t explain his concern…not yet.’

‘And speaking of explanations. Have you thought of an idea to explain your absence when we go?’

‘No, but now that I know that we are on the brink of departure, I shall dream up something. Boaz is preoccupied with war anyway. He is not going to miss me. He will miss you, though.’

‘The Zar wants his Zaradine and heir back. I have given Ghassal instructions. He is a good soldier—the best; he knows what to do, how to set up the Protectorate for maximum security. Have we heard anything?’

‘Nothing. You would be one of the first to learn anyway. Boaz defers to you as Spur despite your illness.’

Lazar sighed. ‘He treated me very coolly when we first returned, but he’s warmed. I don’t doubt
his mother’s determination to see me fit has helped in that regard.’

‘It’s about Ana, Lazar. It’s always been about Ana.’

‘She is his wife. I cannot stand in the way of that.’

‘Not in the palace, perhaps,’ Pez commented, giving a soft shrug of apology. ‘Don’t pretend you didn’t know I was part of the guile. She told me she just needed some time with you that night. I was her cohort.’

The Spur blushed in a rare show of emotion. Pez pretended not to notice.

‘We needed to talk. There was so much left unsaid between us, not—’ Lazar stammered.

‘You don’t have to—’

‘Not just around the time of her marriage,’ Lazar continued as though Pez had not spoken, ‘but long before that. There were things I needed to say to Ana that were overdue from the first wretched evening I brought her into Percheron.’ He banged his fist on the balcony rail in frustration.

‘You don’t need to justify that time with Ana to me, Lazar,’ Pez said softly.

‘I do. You were her accomplice and took a risk for us. I never thought I’d have the chance to say any of the things I did on that sand dune. She contrived the meeting—I would never have dared—but I am ever grateful for the opportunity…to talk.’ He cleared his throat and
sent a prayer to anyone listening that Pez would never know what had actually occurred.

‘It’s odd, you know, that night…before our lives were changed.’

‘What’s odd?’

‘I was sickening for something. I don’t know what it was about. One moment I was fine, the next I was vomiting into the sand as Ana came away from you on the dune.’

‘You were there?’ Lazar heard his voice break slightly on the last word.

‘I was awake. Just looking out for her. I had to in case anyone discovered she was not in her tent.’

Lazar nodded.

‘But I was not the only one awake, I’ve just realised.’

Lazar’s eyes flared with shock. ‘What do you mean?’

Pez looked stunned. ‘Forgive me. I’ve just recalled that the Grand Vizier stepped out of his tent as she came back to the camp.’

‘What?’

‘It wasn’t important. I think he was probably emerging to relieve himself, stretch, I don’t know, and her presence perhaps startled him. They spoke briefly and Ana was smiling, the Vizier scratching. A coincidence, and in the scheme of what unfolded that night, inconsequential.’

‘What happened?’

‘Well, he said he was disturbed. He mentioned this to Ana and to her credit she didn’t miss a
beat, told him she’d tripped over one of his tent ropes or something.’

‘And he accepted it?’

‘What else could he do? She told him she’d just stepped away from the camp to relieve herself. It was a well-crafted and well-executed lie. She didn’t sound abashed, just apologetic for disturbing him.’

‘Well, good. She didn’t arouse any further mystery, then?’

‘No, but that’s my point, I’m embarrassed to say and only now recall. She never did.’

‘I don’t get you.’

‘Well it didn’t impact on me at the time but now that I’m thinking about it, I know that Ana arrived soundlessly. She made no noise. My hearing is exceptional, and I knew she was back in camp because I could sense her, not because I could see her or hear her.’

‘Am I being a dullard in not understanding what you’re saying?’

‘I’m saying that no noise disturbed the Grand Vizier and still he was woken from his deep sleep. I know he was sound asleep because I checked on him.’

Lazar stared at the dwarf with incomprehension. Pez continued thinking aloud.

‘I don’t know what dragged him from his slumber but something did.’

‘What now?’ Lazar asked, alarmed that Pez had paled suddenly.

‘Perhaps his disturbance was more than coincidence for just moments earlier I had vomited for no good reason and Ana had just stepped silently back into the camp.’

‘Ah, I get it. You’re on your Ana-is-Lyana track again. That was one of the things we spoke of that night, Pez. Ana admits that she is not who you think she is. She feels saddened for you that you pursue this dream. And why would Lyana announce anything to Maliz anyway?’

‘Lyana, Iridor, Maliz. We are all helplessly connected. We do not necessarily choose to communicate but our lives are irrevocably bound. Something disturbed Maliz and Iridor when Ana was present—albeit silent.’ Pez suddenly fell on all fours and began barking.

Lazar deliberately turned away, striking a bored pose as he leaned over the balcony. He heard the click of a heel and the smell of perfume reached him before she did.

‘We’ll talk on this later,’ Lazar whispered to Pez. The dwarf reared up on his legs and began beating his chest as the Valide swept onto the verandah.

‘Good morning, Lazar. You have lots of colour in your face today.’

‘I feel the brightest I’ve felt in a while. It must be your fine care, Valide.’

She demurred with a soft shrug and a smile behind her veil. ‘Oh, begone with you, dwarf! Your noise is enough to set anyone’s health back.’ She called behind her to an Elim who had
followed into Lazar’s chamber, ‘Please take Pez away. I wish a private conversation with the Spur.’

The man nodded and urged Pez to follow. The dwarf meekly took the man’s hand, ambling at his side as the monkeys did with their handlers in the Zar’s zoo. He left quietly but not before loudly wiping his nose on the corner of the Valide’s silken shift.

She shrieked, scowled at the Spur’s helpless amusement. ‘Why does he entertain you and Boaz with such vulgarity?’

‘It’s not him, it’s you, Valide. You give him so much fun to work with. In his addled mind he still seems to sense that he can provoke a loud reaction from you every time. You must learn to ignore him as we all do, then he’ll likely leave you alone.’

‘Why you tolerate him around you is beyond me. Has he been barking like that for long? It must set your nerves on edge.’

‘No. I hardly notice him. A lot of the time he sits quietly and picks his nose.’

She made an involuntary sound of disgust before she noticeably softened. ‘Are you cold? Let me fetch you a blanket.’

Lazar sat down. It was obvious this would be no fleeting visit and he dared not be rude after all her care.

‘Herezah, you don’t need to wait on me like this,’ Lazar called over his shoulder, although he was grateful for the warmth when the soft rug was placed around him.

Herezah had come to Lazar’s quarters this morning with a mission in mind. She had deliberately distracted the Elim with Pez and then left a message for that same Elim to run some errands for her. She was counting on him being kept busy for a while—long enough for her needs. She was also gambling with the notion that the more senior Elim would not realise the single day and single night guard they maintained around the Spur was compromised. The guard was token, simply as a show of respect towards the harem. The Elim trusted the Spur implicitly but the principle of a man living relatively near to where the women were housed warranted the show of a guard. Herezah had earned the Elim’s respect these few moons, always seeing to it that the Elim were informed when she was visiting the Spur’s quarters, diligently ensuring she was never without her escort. She neither removed her veil in the Spur’s company—even when he was too far gone in his fevers and hallucinations to be aware of anyone around him—nor did she touch him below his neck. Instead she supervised the Elim in this regard. Trust had been earned and she intended to take full advantage of her weeks of patience.

She leaned against the railings, her back to the Faranel with her sheer, rather revealing costume ensuring that the full glory of her still
firm, voluptuous body was showcased for her guest.

‘But I enjoy looking after you,’ she admonished in a lazy voice. ‘I’d be lying if I said I’d been happier in my life than these past four moons in caring for you.’

‘Please don’t say that aloud to anyone else. Don’t even say it to me again, I beg you.’

‘But why, Lazar? Why not to you?’ She made her move, crouching near his side now, careful not to crowd him but close enough to place her hand over his. ‘Surely you cannot deny that I have always been honest with you about my feelings.’

He shook his head. ‘It is unwise—’

‘Why? You are well now—or much fitter than a few moons back when I swear to Zarab I thought we’d lost you. But—’

Lazar surprised her by covering her hand with his own and she helplessly shivered at his touch. ‘And I haven’t thanked you for that. You saved my life—’

‘You saved mine in the desert.’

‘That was my duty. Helping me back to good health has surely been unpleasant and you didn’t have to do it.’

‘No, but I’m glad I have. And yes, you do have to thank me, but do so properly. I don’t want your carefully chosen words, Lazar. I want you. Don’t look at me like that! I’ve never hidden my desire and although we’ve often felt like enemies, for my part it’s borne out of frustration that you ignore
me.’ She put her hand to his lips. ‘No wait, let me finish. Every man has a sexual drive,’ she said. ‘Every woman too,’ she added ruefully. ‘I am not bound by who I might take as a lover any more—and you have no-one in your life. I know I’m desirable to any man. If you didn’t have such a strong opinion about me you too would feel the same yearning. Why pay for a whore who has been with a dozen men before you that day alone when you can have me, untouched for so long, and at no charge? Why not satisfy us both? I will accept your thanks only once if that is all that’s offered. I promise, there will be no repercussions.’

‘Herezah,’ he began but again she stopped him.

‘I want nothing from you, Lazar, except your body riding mine. I’m not naive enough to think you might suddenly fall in love with me. This is about lust and relief, nothing more. I have never been with any other man but the Zar and he was not out of choice—can you imagine what that’s like? I know you pay women, Lazar—not that you’d need to but I imagine it’s cleaner that way, no messy relationships; you choose with whom and when and where. An odalisque, a Zaradine, has no such choice. We are no better than whores but with none of their freedom. I will not lie to you; although I liked and respected Joreb he disgusted me physically. What I did for him sexually I did out of duty. He gave me Boaz and I cannot regret that but I am in my fourth decade, Lazar, and I might as well shrivel up and die soon
if I don’t get some satisfaction for this magnificent body and its desires.’ Her words had come out in such a torrent and with such feeling, that she was breathing hard by the end of her monologue.