Goddess Bared: Goddess Series Book 5 (Young Adult / New Adult) (3 page)

My mom told her that I was going to my dad’s for a couple of days, and that made her sad. I’ve never seen her cry before—that was agonizing.

July 4

Wow! I did it! I kissed her...as in full on, wanted to “topple her over and own her” kiss. It was better than my best fantasy. Her mouth was soft and hot. I didn’t want to stop. When I took her home, I did it again. It took more willpower than I realized I had to leave her after that, but at least I get to see her tomorrow. She’s coming over for my pool party. She mentioned something about a bikini, and I’ve tried not fantasizing about what she’d look like in one, but right now, when I can still feel her lips on mine, I’m not having much luck keeping any fantasy away
.

July 5

The bikini was hot! Nothing I imagined last night prepared me for it. With the exception of Dave and Mike hitting on Legacy and Calli, the day was great. She asked me to rub lotion on her back, and I accidentally tickled her. Feeling her shudder like that confused me at first, but then I found it arousing. When we swam together, she wrapped her legs around my waist, and I had a hard time reminding myself where
not
to put my hands.

July 19

I’ve been spending every day with Legacy. We’ve kissed a lot and made out too. But for some reason, she’s still having weird dreams. I’m not sure what to make of them.

I talked to Dad today. He wants me to help him move. I know he still wants me to move out there, but after the last fight we had, I know he won’t bring it up again. I made it clear how I feel about things.

August 1

Legacy came over for dinner tonight and spilled she’s been talking to the Gorgos’s son about her family. This was not good news at all, but I wasn’t in the right mindset to hear it. Before she even started talking, she started crying, and I thought she was going to tell me she didn’t want to see me anymore. Those few seconds were absolutely terrifying. Once I realized what she was talking about, I had a hard time pulling myself together. I almost told her tonight that I love her! The thought of losing her had never crossed my mind until that moment.

That’s a thought I never want to have ever again
.

August 3

I took Legacy back to the hilltop where I took her on our first date. I told her that I love her, and she told me that she loves me too. Hearing those words come out of her mouth was the best experience in my life. I will always love her. I am nothing without her. I can’t imagine a life that doesn’t involve her. I was so scared of how I made her feel, and now everything feels, I don’t know, right, I guess.

I want to spend the rest of my life with her
.

Legacy started crying again. She remembered feeling the exact same way. If only Adin realized back then that his life would only last months rather than years.

After reliving how wonderful and hopeful she and Adin had felt about their love, reading became too exhausting. She’d already had such a long day before she’d even started reading the journal. No way could she pull an all-nighter. She shut the book and turned out the light. Sleep found her within seconds.

Chapter Three

Legacy awoke the next morning with renewed energy. She jumped out of bed, brushed her teeth, and ran back to the bedroom to pick up where she’d left off last night.

August 14

Well, I met River tonight. He’s so playing Legacy. I know my dad confirmed Legacy’s family and all, but this River character needs his ass kicked. He’s been coming on to Legacy since they met, and he’s hanging on to this prophecy thing Legacy told me about. I don’t blame him for wanting Legacy, though. Any man in his right mind would want to be with her, but I’m not going to sit by and watch him try to steal her away. He must think I’m crazy if he thinks I’ll put up with that shit
.

August 22

Legacy got out of the hospital yesterday. I never dreamed Medusa would hurt her like that. I should have told Legacy I knew about her. I should have done something to stop her.

I got to come up there that last night to stay with her. I whispered to her and stroked her hair while she slept. We were all alone, and I called her my princess. She actually smiled when I said it. She was probably dreaming about something that made her smile, and if I wasn’t so upset at the time, I probably would’ve smiled too.

Legacy asked me to stay with her last night, so I did. I got to hold her in her bed all night long. Aside from hearing her tell me that she loved me, it was the best night of my life. One I’ll never forget
.

August 30

God, I’m such an idiot. I came back early to surprise Legacy, but I ended up fighting with River. Why did I tell him about myself when Legacy was in the hospital? I knew I needed to tell Legacy, and after she found me fighting with River, she knew I was keeping something from her. I told her everything, and she was hurt. She doesn’t even want to talk to me right now. I don’t blame her.

September 1

I’m just popping in to shower and change. I took Legacy to my freshmen banquet last night, and a new girl at school is the likeness of Aphrodite. I know this is bad. This is very bad. My dad warned me she could exist, but I didn’t want to listen. Now she’s here and in my life. I can’t let Legacy get upset about this. We just worked things out about our fight last night. I will not allow myself to become involved with Venus.

I’m going back over to be with my princess. She’s still upset about this
.

September 30

Wow, it’s been a month since I’ve written anything. I didn’t expect college to be so time consuming. I have homework all the time, and I’m also part of a fraternity now.

I’ve had a few fights with Legacy about my bond with Venus and her bond with River, but other than that, our relationship is wonderful. Even with the fights, it’s still wonderful. I love her so much. I’m not sure how much longer I can put off making love to her. I think about it all the time. Just kissing her turns me on. But when we kiss, we rarely stop with just that. We’ve even talked about sex.

I’m trying to be good, but I don’t know what that is, and it’s really hard to concentrate when I’m making out with her
.

October 13

Well, Legacy found out the truth about the watch. She took it better than I thought, but she did try to get me to tell her how much money I’d spent. No way! If she knew that, she’d probably keep the watch in a safe-deposit box.

She came over for my grandma’s surprise party. She seemed to enjoy seeing me all sweaty, and when I got out of the shower, I kissed her on my bed. I couldn’t help myself. I got on top of her while we were kissing, and she was in a loose skirt. She had her leg wrapped around me, and I started to slide my hand up her skirt. If the doorbell hadn’t have rung, I don’t know how far we’d have gone.

After that, I realized I couldn’t afford to be careless with her. I bought a box of condoms and put them in my nightstand. If we are going to have sex, I need to do the right thing—and I want to be prepared for the possibility
.

Legacy knew she and Adin had talked about sex and had gotten extremely close on a few occasions. She had assumed that he’d taken the necessary steps to be prepared for when that time came, but actually reading about it made it seem so surreal.

When she turned the page, she noticed a condom taped below the entry. Shocked, she read it right away.

October 15

I took Legacy to homecoming last night. She looked breathtaking. Completely gorgeous. Of course, she’s always the most beautiful thing to me, but seeing her dressed up like that was just amazing. We danced and kissed and had a wonderful time.

When I took her home, no one was there. I left her to go change, but that was really only part of the reason. Since no one was home, there was a possibility that things might get heated between us, so I needed to be prepared. I went home to get a condom from her nightstand…just in case something happened. I almost grabbed a bunch of them, but I figured I needed to be realistic.

When I got back, her dress was stuck, so I had to help her. She had on a lacy blue bra and matching panties! Seeing her in nothing but that was indescribable. When she was on top of me, I just knew she could feel the condom in my pocket, which made me wonder if she’d think I’d planned on sleeping with her. It would have been our first time if Lissa hadn’t come back. Her timing really sucked ass!

I attached the condom I had in my pocket as a memento of what almost happened
.

November 14

I don’t deserve Legacy. I let Venus kiss me last night, and I had to confess it right away. I’d never seen Legacy so upset, and it was all my fault. She asked me to leave, and I did. She came over later, and I thought she wanted to talk to me about how horrible I am, but that wasn’t the reason for her visit.

Since I was scared for her safety, I asked her to stay, and she reluctantly agreed. But she didn’t want to sleep alone. I held her while we both cried, and afterward, she tried to kiss me. It took her awhile before she could do it, but she finally did.

After we kissed for awhile, though, we started making out. We were completely alone, and I wanted her so bad. She was only wearing one of my t-shirts and her panties, so she could feel her body heat against my bare chest. I almost came undone when she untied the drawstring of my pajama pants. I knew I had condoms here too. After running to my grandma’s to get one on homecoming night, I decided I needed to spread them around. I have some at both houses and in my car. Not that I want to take her virginity in my car…

But in a small corner of my mind, I knew it was wrong to do this now. Somehow, I found the strength to stop and tell her I thought we should wait until our unwanted bonds didn’t factor in our decision to have sex.

She understood, but she wasn’t willing to stop quite yet.

That was fine with me
.

I’m off now to get some food to make my princess breakfast in bed
.

November 17

I’ve been looking at a Porsche 911 Turbo since my car was totaled over the weekend. Breakfast in bed was a bust. I got into an accident on my way back from the store. Legacy stayed with me at the hospital and helped me with my bath last night. Having her take care of me, seeing her in nothing but a towel, and having her wash my body were all incredibly sexy. If I had been able to make love to her, I would have.

I ordered her Christmas present too. She was sitting right here and didn’t even know it! I hope she likes the earrings. Since I think of her as my princess, I couldn’t help but get her princess cut earrings. Now that she knows the truth about the watch—well as much as I let her know—she’ll know right away these earrings are real. Hopefully, she won’t complain too much.

She deserves the world, and I want to be the one to give it to her
.

November 23

Legacy broke up with me the other day. I couldn’t bring myself to write about it on the day it actually happened. I don’t know what I did to hurt her so much. I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop jumping every time I hear the phone or doorbell ring. She wouldn’t explain herself. She threw away the flowers she’d kept and her pictures of me. She tried to throw away the shell I brought back from Florida, but she let me take it. My grandma has been trying to help me with this pain, but there’s just nothing anybody can do.

I don’t know how I’m going to get through this
.

November 26

Legacy came over for Thanksgiving. When she walked into the dining room and I saw her, my heart jumped out of my chest. I don’t know how long I stood there staring at her before Grandma told me to sit down. I couldn’t eat with her right beside me. I was a nervous wreck! But then she tried to eat and got sick. She ran to the bathroom and threw up so much that she was dry heaving. She hadn’t been able to keep any food down since we broke up, but I was able to help her. I tried not thinking about her skin as I touched her, but I wasn’t successful. Being that close to her was so wonderful and so painful at the same time. I finally got her to talk to me about why she broke up with me. After she left, I thought a lot about it, and I decided I had to find a way to make her realize she won’t hurt me. I’d rather be dead than be away from her
.

The agony was back. Adin got what he’d asked for, whether or not he actually had felt that way. But reading those words made Legacy realize there wasn’t anything she could have done to save him from her.

November 28

I talked to Legacy today and tried to tell her everything was my fault and not hers. She’s still taking the blame for my accident, though. I shouldn’t have been so careless with her ascension. I knew she was going through changes, and I should have been there for her. All I did was add to her stress by putting up with Venus. Why do I have to be bonded to that woman? Life would have been so much easier if she’d never shown up here. And River, for that matter. The first chance he got, he kissed Legacy! Hearing her tell me that was torture, but she’s not my girlfriend anymore. I have no right to be mad at her. But I could kill that monster. I should have.

But on a much happier note, I kissed Legacy for the first time since our breakup. Now that I know she did it to protect me, I feel better about it, but I still don’t want this. I have to figure out a way to make this right.

I will
.

December 9

I’m spending Christmas at my dad’s this year. I can’t watch Legacy become involved with River. I’ve only seen her twice this month and both times she said the same thing about needing to turn to him. She said they’ve also kissed two more times since the first. I don’t want her even in the same town as that monster, much less involved with him! But I know she’s up to something. I know her better than she realizes.

She did, however, keep the photos I thought she’d trashed. They were on her nightstand the last time I visited her. She also had her watch out. She slept in it. I don’t know why, but that gave me hope that we’ll get through this.

When her Christmas present came in last week, I had to pretend everything was fine. The jeweler went on and on about how lovely Legacy is and how lucky I am to have found such a beauty. It was tough, but I managed to get out of there without breaking down.

I gave her the gift before I left and told her not to open it until Christmas. I put the conch shell in there too, since she really was going to keep it. I hope she waits until Christmas before opening it, and I hope she likes it. I fibbed about the money, but I figured that was better than letting her worry about how much I spent. She’ll find out the truth soon enough.

I miss my love already
.

December 17

This is the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing Legacy’s face or hearing her voice. I want to call her so bad. I want to jump on the next flight out and go see her. Even if I can’t be with her, I want to be around her. She’s my soul mate. I know she is.

My dad has tried to get me to talk about what’s going on, but I’m worried we’ll just end up in another fight. He wants me to be safe, and now that Mom told him Legacy thinks she’ll be the one to kill me…well, he’s not being very subtle with his attempts at conversation. It’s my life! If I want to be with Legacy, that’s my choice. Like I told her, I’d rather live a short and happy life with her than a long and sad life without her
.

December 22

Well, I was wrong about what Dad had wanted to talk to me about. He did want to talk about my life, but he wasn’t trying to keep me from being with Legacy like he had over the summer. He has some new theories about my ascension. Again with the ascension talk. I’m eighteen. I didn’t ascend. Enough already
!

Hmmm… She remembered Adin mentioning theories about his skills when she’d asked him about him being fast and strong, but he hadn’t said his dad had theories about his ascension. Why hadn’t Adin ever told her this? She knew he didn’t believe she would ascend at first because he hadn’t, but she didn’t know his dad was still holding out hope.

Then reality slapped her in the face yet again. Her questions didn’t matter anymore. Adin was gone.

December 25

Christmas day. I’ve been writing in this journal for a year now. I never thought I would’ve kept up with it, but looking back over the past year, I see why I did. It looks like I talked about Legacy every time I made an entry. Of course. If I could spend all day, every day talking to her, being with her, I would.

She sent me a text message with a picture of herself wearing the earrings I gave her. I’ve been looking at this picture all day. I’m looking at it now. She literally takes my breath away. It took me a long time to decide how I would respond. I wanted to write something long and sappy, but I decided on something short and sweet. I hope getting a message from me thrilled her as much as it did me getting one from her.