Goddess Revenge: Goddess Series Book 4 (Young Adult / New Adult) (12 page)

“I think we’re going to be fine. I really do,” he murmured through smiling lips.

“You know I hope you’re right about that, but unless something changes, you know we can’t be together.”

“Something
will
change.”

Not wanting to get her hopes up about a life with Adin, she stood up. “I hope you have a wonderful time at your dad’s.”

Adin stood and walked to the door without waiting for her to give him the signal this time. “You know there’s so much I want to say to you, don’t you? Be careful, don’t do this, I love you, let me be there for you.” He grimaced, looking away. “I’ve told you these things a thousand times in my head just to keep from saying them too much to you in person.” Looking back at her, he said, “Just because I don’t spend every second of every day trying to convince you of these things doesn’t mean I don’t want to. I don’t because I have no idea what you’re going through, and no matter how much I miss you, I don’t want to say anything that may add to your stress.”

“I know,” she whispered.

Adin nodded with a sad smile. Then he seemed to put on a brave front. “No peeking,” he said, motioning to the gift. “You have to wait ‘til Christmas.”

“I promise,” she said with a smile.

He kissed her forehead quickly before walking out. She turned around and stared at the present. Tears pricked her eyes. She slowly walked over to the gift and picked it up while she wept to herself.

Legacy heard something hitting the roof and looked outside. It was raining, but not just regular rain. It was freezing rain. Ice pinged off of the roof and windows. She hadn’t made the weather do this before, so she stood up and looked out the window, intrigued. Then she realized this type of weather wasn’t safe, so she looked up at the sky.

“Stop,” she barely whispered, and it ceased.

She wasn’t as controlled as she needed to be when causing the weather, but she seemed to have a hold on how to stop it.

If only she could will any order to work—she’d will her life fixed.

* * * * *

Legacy parked her car and headed to the morning picnic table where she met Calli and River every morning before school. After Adin had left her house last night, she thought a lot about this plan to punish River and finally decided she needed a break. She was too emotional to pull this off. Of course how long that break was going to be would entirely depend on River’s determination to win her over. But after this past weekend, she really didn’t know where he stood on exploring a relationship with her anyway.

River and Calli were already seated, talking, when she approached. They looked to be deep in their conversation, but they both shifted in their seats when she walked up. Uh-huh.
She
apparently was the topic of their conversation. She’d have to get the skinny from Calli in Spanish.

“Don’t stop talking on my account,” she said with a chuckle as she sat down.

“Er, River was just telling me that Paul might transfer to the university out here next semester.”

“Well, that’s cool,” she said to Calli, and looked over at River. “Does he not like his school?” she asked him in a casual tone.

River’s eyes met hers. “Um, yeah, but he likes hanging out up here.” As soon as he answered, he looked away.

Legacy didn’t have time to ponder that because the bell rang. When she got up and started to sling her backpack over her shoulder, River walked around and took it from her. He wanted to carry her books, so she figured that was a sign he wasn’t mad at her anymore. He couldn’t even stand to look at her Friday night.

When chemistry was over, River came over, grabbed her books, and walked her to their business class. The small talk was uncomfortable.
Hmmm.
Maybe he
was
still mad, but didn’t want to make a scene at school.

River walked her to Spanish, but this time, there was awkward silence rather than awkward conversation, so she was eager to find out from Calli if he talked about Friday night.

“What has he said?” Legacy asked as she sat next to her BFF.

Calli took a deep breath. “He thinks he’s as confused as you are. Or as confused as he thinks you are.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he does feel bad about how he acted Friday night, but he’s concerned if he doesn’t get a handle on what’s happening with you, then it’ll just happen again. He doesn’t want to keep getting upset with you about your conflicted emotions.”

“Did he ask about me? About how I reacted to him Friday, I mean?”

“He did, but I told him that I couldn’t tell him. I said I was his friend, and I wanted to help him, but you were my best friend. Your feelings come first, and I didn’t know if you wanted me talking about that with him. He understood and didn’t press it.”

“Did he ask you not to say anything to me about his feelings?”

“No,” Calli said, looking up at the teacher since class was starting, effectively ending the conversation for now.

When Spanish was over, River met up with her and walked with her the rest of the way to their history class. Again with the uncomfortable silence. When it was lunchtime, she and Calli rode with River as if nothing was wrong. This was all kinds of messed up.

Calli pulled out a bag while they were in River’s car and shook it. “It’s time to draw names for Christmas presents.”

“What?” Legacy asked, turning around to look at her in the back seat.

“Well, you and I usually get each other something for Christmas, but now that River is one of the girls…” She chuckled. “We get to include him. Instead of each of us buying the other two a gift, I figured it’d be more fun to draw names and not tell each other who each person got.”

“Oh. That sounds like fun.”

“Okay,” River said as he pulled into the restaurant.

“I have each of our names in here. If you draw your own, show it to me before you put it back.”

They all pulled a name out of the bag, and Legacy was relieved when she drew Calli’s name.

At the table, River seemed more relaxed than he had earlier. She still sat between River and Calli, but River did not put his hand on her knee. In fact, she didn’t think he touched her at all. Not even an accidental brush of an arm.

“Legacy,” Kate said. “Do you want to study for the calculus final?”

“Definitely.” She really liked the sound of this because she was actually worried about this test.

“Oh, yeah,” Calli said. “Why don’t we all study for it tonight?”

“Thad’s taking me out,” Ellen said, looking away.

“I can’t tonight,” Seth said.

Calli looked over at River, waiting for his answer. “Um, sure,” he said, glancing at Legacy then at Calli.

The rest of the day was easier than the beginning. River walked her to her classes, but he seemed a little at ease, not like his regular self, but not as stiff as this morning either.

After school, Calli and Kate came right over to study, and River came over after he got out of basketball practice. They all studied for several hours, but she just wasn’t getting some of this. Everyone else breezed through the study guide while she struggled with the section on implicit differentiation. All three chimed in on ways for her to complete the computations, but it just wasn’t clicking. She managed to get through the problems with their help, but she wasn’t actually sure if she learned anything. When Calli and Kate got ready to leave, she was still going over her notes, trying to commit them to memory.

“Um, I can stay and help you,” River offered, shrugging his shoulders.

She looked up at him. “Okay.”

After Calli and Kate left, River became a machine. A detached, mathematical machine, trying his best to explain the concepts to her. After about another hour, the light bulb finally turned on.

“Oh, if I write
y
explicitly as a function of
x
, then I could find the derivative of
y
when a function of
y
is written implicitly as a function of
x
."

“Right, but you can’t always do that. You need to be able to find the derivative of
y
without using
y
explicitly as a function of
x
.”

“Which I can do using the chain rule,” she said, looking up at him.

River smiled and nodded. “Right.”

She sighed and leaned back into her chair as the rules finally started making sense. “I think I got it now.”

River and Legacy chatted about the study guide while they gathered their books and piled them on the table. After several minutes, it seemed like River was slowly edging toward his uncomfortable demeanor of this morning, so she had to address the pink elephant in the room and broach the uncomfortable topic of Friday night and the even harder topic of their relationship.

She sighed, watching him play nervously with his hands. “About the other night,” she said softly, and River’s head shot up. “I’m sorry.”

He shut his eyes while he briefly shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“I have plenty to be sorry about.”

River opened his eyes. “I was the one who pushed you away and stormed off. I was a complete jackass.”

“You only physically pushed me away after I emotionally pushed you away,” she said, taking a seat beside him. “So you were only a partial jackass.”

“I’m not sure what to do here, Legacy,” he said, looking down.

“Well, the way I see it, we have two choices.” His eyes flashed to hers. “We could either go back to how it was before, forgetting the last few weeks ever happened, maybe even employing the no physical contact rule again.” River’s eyes popped open for a second before he could control his reaction. “Or you could treat me like the woman you love and help me through this,” she said softly, looking down. “Help me for my sake. Not yours. You’re too attached. You’re taking my conflicted emotions too personally.”

“How could I not take them personally when you were kissing me like that, and your energy mirrored your actions until suddenly…suddenly it didn’t?”

She glanced up at him, and he looked sad. “I said I was sorry about that, and I am sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you, but I really had no idea why you acted that way until after you left. I was blindsided. Calli helped me figure out afterward what had happened, but during the moment, I had no idea what I was doing. If we’re going to explore whatever this is between us, you can’t shut me out like that.”

“You’re right,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I really do feel horrible for walking off. After I left, I hoped you’d come over, but I told Paul to tell you I went to bed if you’d tried to come talk to me. I felt confused too. I tossed and turned all night, thinking about what happened. The next morning, I got up and walked outside to come over, but your car was gone. I debated all weekend whether I should call or come by. I just didn’t know what to do…about Friday night or about us.”

“I don’t know what to do about what’s happening either.” She knew River didn’t realize just how honest those words were. “But I, er, don’t think we need to make any decisions tonight. I think it might be healthy for us to not push anything right now. We should take a breather and see if this is something we really want to jump into.” She needed a break to regroup her efforts. She also figured making him wait would make him long for her even more.

“I already know that’s what I want,” River said, gazing into her eyes.

“Maybe
want
was the wrong word. We should see if this is something we
need
before going any further. Who knows…you may decide a relationship with me is something you don’t need, no matter how much you want it. If we take a little time to decide what’s best for us, then I think we’ll be in a better position to accept what’s happening.”

River took a deep breath. “I’ve waited seven months. I can wait a little longer,” he said with a small smile.

Legacy didn’t know how long she’d be granted this reprieve. But she was going to take it. Hopefully, the monster she knew him to be wouldn’t pull any surprises while she regrouped.

Besides, she had her ascension to focus on. She needed a break from this revenge business.

Chapter Ten

The last two weeks were blissfully uneventful. Legacy had finished her Christmas shopping, so at least she’d been productive and not waiting until the last minute like Lissa.

Legacy had dreamed her winter
he lies
dream several times, but there was no pattern as to when it’d fill her nights. She was still sure the dream wasn’t about Adin. Even thinking about him wasn’t just a slight pull of the heartstrings. It was a tug of war. With steel cables. Strings? She wished. Gods, she missed Adin terribly. Even though they were broken up, there had always been the potential to see him—until he’d gone to his dad’s for the Christmas holiday. Not since they’d started dating had they been apart from each other this long. The longest they had been apart was a week, and so far, this trip was double that time with Christmas still almost a week away. Adin had another two weeks after that until school started. She wasn’t sure if he’d be gone the entire time, but he did warn her he probably would. She still hoped he’d come back early, even though she knew she had no right to.

River was acting like her best friend again. He did give her longing looks from time to time, but he used to do that before anything ever happened between them. She didn’t flirt with him as much as she had been, but she still flirted a little. She needed to seem like she was still interested.

But she was interested in only one thing—revenge. This breather they’d been taking was really helping her perspective. She wasn’t as angry with him, so she didn’t feel like her emotions were out of control when it came to this endeavor. She had grown to accept what River’s actions had permanently done to her life. When she started this punishment of his, she was furious and eager to hurt him as much as he’d hurt her. Now, she felt like she still needed to teach him a lesson, but not so much for satisfying her own vengeance, but to show him she wasn’t one to double-cross. If her mom or her old soul was trying to warn her about River in this new seasonal dream, that was all the more reason for him to learn this lesson. She looked at this as survival 101. River had already ascended. He was a god, and she needed to do whatever was necessary to make sure she ascended too.