Goddess Revenge: Goddess Series Book 4 (Young Adult / New Adult) (19 page)

Walking toward her, he said, “She said a lot. Nothing I care to repeat.”

“She doesn’t matter, you know?” Legacy shrugged. “I’m not going to let her stop me from ascending.” And that was the truth. She had no intention of letting that monster get in her way.

He uncrossed his arms as he neared Legacy. “I’m not going to let her stop you either. You’re much too important to me to lose,” he whispered.

Her heartbeat picked up. River ran his hands down the length of both her arms while he stared intensely into her eyes. She felt her breaths become shallow and her body tremble. While she stared at him, her ankles uncrossed themselves of their own volition, and she slid her hands onto his waist as he stepped closer to her. He moved his hands up to her face and stroked her cheeks while he brought his lips to hers.

He kissed her slowly, deeply. She slid her hands up his chest and into his hair, pressing herself against him. He trailed his hands down her sides and around her back, pulling her up against him as he kissed her harder, moaning as he breathed. Their kissing became heated as they squeezed against each other. Then River’s hand found her hair and pulled her head to the side to kiss her neck—the first time he’d ever done that. His hot breath sent a shiver through her body, and apparently, feeling her quiver caused him to kiss her neck a little recklessly.

Not only did it feel so good to be held and kissed liked that, but it felt strangely good to be held and kissed like that by
him
. She got lost in the moment and wrapped her legs around him.

When River’s hands began to slide under her shirt, she was jolted back to reality. Why was she making out with him? She didn’t want to do this with him! She wanted to be doing this with Adin.

River staggered back, staring at her in disbelief.

“What?” she asked as she panted, shutting her eyes.

“Y-you’re pushing me away,” he said softly. She looked at him, and he was shaking his head as if he were trying to keep the pain from showing in his eyes.

She nodded in understanding. “Okay. How soon did you feel a change?”

“Um, right then.”

Of course he did. She’d just thought River wasn’t the man she wanted to be making out with. She wanted to be making out with Adin. She hadn’t been intimate with Adin, truly intimate, since before they’d broken up over a month ago. She couldn’t let herself get lost in what she couldn’t have. She needed to remember why she was here. She wanted to punish River for what he’d done.

It was time for some punishment.

“Well, come back over here, and let’s try this again,” she said.

He smiled halfheartedly. “What?”

“If I’m pushing you away, then I need to figure out why.” She already knew why. No need to let him know that, though. “You’re only noticing it now when…well…when we’re kissing, so we need to be kissing to test this.”

He stepped back up to her. “What do you mean, ‘test this?’”

She cocked her head to the side. “You’re going to kiss me, and I’m going to try to think other thoughts.”

River scowled at her. “Legacy, I already have a really hard time taking the emotional rejection. Why do you want to purposely subject me to it?”

To punish you
.

She reached up and stroked his cheek, and he shut his eyes at her touch. “Because we both need to learn to get past this. This will help me figure out what’s going on, and you get to practice dealing with the rejection.”

He gave her a dubious look.

She chuckled. “Of all the things to test, you’d think you’d be more than willing to test this.”

“Hmm, I guess you’re right.” He smiled. “Okay,” he said, but he still sounded reluctant.

He slid his hands back onto her face and leaned in to kiss her. She kissed him back, enjoying the taste and smell of him. Just when she found herself enjoying it too much, she thought about school, her mom, her dream, Calli, and finally, being with Adin.

River broke away the second the last thought entered her mind. “What were you thinking about?” he asked with his head down.

“You don’t want to know,” she mumbled, knowing he would understand what she meant.

With a frustrated growl, he banged his fist against his desk.

Good
. “Let’s try it again,” she said.

He looked up at her, shaking his head, his eyes pained. She slid her hands onto his face, pulling him closer.

“Legacy,” he whispered, shaking his head again.

“Kiss me,” she breathed.

His eyes fluttered shut, and a low, agonizing groan rumbled up his throat as his lips found hers. As soon as they started kissing, she thought about how she’d much rather be doing this with Adin.

“Damn it!” River said, backing up, turning away from her.

“Let’s try ag—”

“No! It almost feels like you’re physically pushing me away from you.”

“I’m not physically pushing you away,” she said softly, trying to ease his frustration.

“You don’t understand. Being with you like that…it, it’s like I’m completely opened, exposed.” He turned to the side and looked at her. “Vulnerable,” he whispered. “Feeling you push me away when I-I’m stripped of any protection, any armor, it physically hurts. It feels like torture.” Shaking his head, he said, “The worst kind of torture.”

She looked at him while she gathered her thoughts. This was want she wanted, but she felt herself wavering. She needed to stay strong. “I think practicing will help.”

River shut his eyes tightly. “Are you
trying
to hurt me?”

Yes
. “No.” She waited, but he didn’t respond. “I want to keep trying.”

“No!” he roared.

“Fine,” she said testily as she slid off his desk. “It’s getting late anyway.”

She started walking past him and toward his door. He grabbed her arm and yanked her against him. It seemed as if he—at least part of him—wanted to keep trying, to keep kissing her. As soon as she registered what he was doing, she thought about Adin. River pushed her away right as his lips touched hers. “You should leave,” he said through gritted teeth before walking to the side of his room and punching the wall.

“I’ll see you later.”

She walked out of his bedroom and into the game room. Seth and Paul were playing pool while Calli and Kate were talking.

“I’m going to your house,” she muttered to Calli.

“Er, o-okay. We can come too.”

“Yeah, I should be getting home,” Seth said. “I’ll walk you over, Kate.”

Seth and Paul said their goodbyes while the girls gathered their things and headed toward the door. Legacy walked to Calli’s house, fuming. She wasn’t sure if she was mad because River wouldn’t do what she’d asked or if she was mad because he got mad about her thinking of Adin.

When they got to Calli’s house, Seth left, and Legacy, Kate, and Callie went upstairs to Calli’s room. Legacy couldn’t vent her frustrations about River in front of Kate, so she continued to fume inside. But she kept reminding herself she had an objective. She needed River to pay for what he’d done. As she thought about her objective, she realized it’d be to her benefit if she talked to him. Tonight. She needed to use his behavior tonight to her advantage.

Or that was what she told herself at least. She wasn’t sure if she believed that was why she really wanted to go back to his house. She’d been so mad at him she kept her true feelings for him bottled up. Just like they should’ve been. Just like she was going to keep them.

“I’m going to talk to River,” she said to Calli as she started to leave the bedroom.

“I’m coming with you,” she called out, running behind her.

“No. Stay here with Kate,” she whispered to her. “I need to talk to him alone. I may not be able to do that if she’s around.”

“Well, er, you can tell Paul he can come over here, so you can talk to River alone,” she said with a smile.

“Fine.” She left Calli’s house and made her way to River’s estate. She unlocked his gate and knocked on the door. Paul opened it.

He looked at her briefly and sighed. “I’m supposed to tell you he’s in bed.”

“Where is he really?” she asked.

Paul shook his head.

“Calli said you can come over to her house while I talk to River. But if you don’t let me in, you—”

“He’s in the game room,” Paul said as he stepped out of the door, heading to Calli’s house. “See ya.”

Men
. She walked in, shut the door, and headed straight for River. She walked into the game room, and he started to turn around, chalking a cue stick.

“What’d she say when—” He bit off the rest of what he was going to say and threw the stick onto the pool table when he saw it was Legacy—not Paul—standing here.

“When you told Paul to lie to me? You told him to lie for you last time, too, but I was smart enough to stay away then.”

“What are you doing here?” River asked as he folded his arms across his chest, not making eye contact.

“Hmm, well, I was going to let you be the jerk that you are until you felt bad enough to apologize
again
, but I realized I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for you to apologize to me this time.”

He grimaced, searching for words. He apparently came up empty in the vocabulary department and instead turned around and walked to a chair, slumping into it.

She walked toward him.

He put his hands up to stop her. “Don’t, Legacy.”

“Why?” she asked, walking closer.

“Because I don’t know how to deal with this, and I don’t want to do anything to make you mad.”

“You already made me mad.” She stopped right in front of him, looking down.

“I know.” He looked to the side.

He was still angry, and she knew what she could do to distract him. Channel her inner Laurel Kavanaugh. She put her hands on his shoulders, and he lifted his head to look at her. Watching his eyes, she moved her leg over his. His breath caught as she sat astride him. He clutched her waist and shut his eyes as she settled in. She moved her lips to his ear. “We’re going to keep trying.”

“Baby, I-I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said, squeezing her waist, pulling her just a little bit closer. So it was
baby
now? Sitting on his lap seemed to be working. He was more malleable.

She gently ran her fingers through his hair while she kept her lips at his ear. “Let’s try just three more times. Then we can end this on a happier note than we did earlier.” She rocked slowly against him for good measure.

“W-what do you mean?”

“After you give me three attempts, I’ll kiss you again, and I promise to try my best to keep any negative thoughts out of my head.”

He clutched her waist a little tighter. “Can I kiss you how I want to kiss you when we’re finished?”

“Yes,” she said softly.

“Why three tries?” he asked, almost panting. Since she hadn’t moved her lips, she was breathing in his ear.

“I want you to keep kissing me when I think a thought that pushes you away. I want you to ignore the urge, so we can see how soon the negative thought passes. Then I want to try thinking other thoughts to see if there are other culprits. When we kiss that time, you need to stop as soon as you feel me pushing you away, so I’ll know what thought caused it. Then I want you to shut out my energy.”

“Why do you want me to do that?” Still breathless.

“Because you said you shut out my energy when you were helping me with my shocking ability after the Casey incident.” River stiffened and held her tighter at the memory of her attack. “I want to see if shutting out my energy helps when I push you away.”

“Oh,” he breathed.

“Let’s start with that one.”

She didn’t wait for him to answer. She slid her lips down his cheek and to his lips. “I’ll wait for you to kiss me once you’ve blocked my energy,” she whispered against his lips.

He nodded, panting. She rubbed her lips against his in anticipation. He kissed her, but it almost felt mechanical, like he was doing it because she asked him to, not because he wanted to. She thought the same thought from earlier that made River pull away, but this time, he didn’t stop. She kept thinking about being with Adin, and River didn’t stop or show any signs of distress—but he didn’t really seem to be enjoying it either. She pulled away from him.

“Did you sense anything?”

“No,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers.

“You didn’t seem like you liked it that much,” she said with a small chuckle.

“I love the way your energy feels. I don’t like blocking it out when you’re this close to me.”

“Okay. Let’s try the one where I think other thoughts that may cause me to push you away.”

River nodded against her forehead.

“Let me know when I think something unpleasant for you,” she whispered as she leaned her lips over to his.

She kissed him softly, and she noticed the difference from the last kiss. Even though they were not kissing passionately, she could tell he was completely into this kiss—not like before. Then instead of thinking that she shouldn’t be making out with River because she wanted to be making out with Adin, she pretended she
was
making out with Adin. She thought about his sandy-colored hair, his gentle but manly touch, his smell, his taste. She got so into the kiss, lost in her memories of Adin, that she hadn’t realized River wasn’t pushing her away. He was kissing her just as eagerly. She thought of the mistake that this was, and he finally pushed her away.

“What were you thinking?” River mumbled.

“It was still about Adin.”

Interesting
. So it wasn’t so much the thought of Adin that pushed River away as it was the thought that it was wrong to be with River because she was meant to be with Adin. If she pretended River was Adin, she could avoid this little mishap in the future. She didn’t like the idea of torturing herself like that, but it was an option she could use if needed.

Now for River’s punishment. “This time, don’t push me away, no matter how much you want to.”

River groaned as he nodded.

She leaned her face closer to his. She kissed him softly. Then she thought about Adin in the way she knew River would react. He groaned in her mouth, but kept kissing her. She thought harder about the love she and Adin had and how much she wanted to be with him, not River. She continued these thoughts for several minutes, kissing River for awhile as he groaned and stiffened in response to the rejection, over and over again. A couple of times, he switched tactics, trying to force the negative thoughts out of her head with eager kissing. It worked, but she renewed her efforts. After she figured he’d had enough, she pulled away.