Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Well-Being (43 page)

That said, I consider wearing high heels an “athletic” event. I can keep them on for about two hours, tops, which is long enough to dance the tango until I feel full of pleasure. No woman should wear heels all day long because they’re awful for posture and pelvic health. Women’s heels, worn constantly, keep podiatrists in business. If you enjoy heels, there are exercises you can use to keep your feet in good condition so they support you and make those problems less likely. One, which I learned from Pilates, is to roll the bottoms of your bare feet over tennis balls while you’re sitting. After dancing, I always do a self-massage of my feet in the bathtub and a series of foot stretches and exercises while soaking in Epsom salts in the water. In fact, foot reflexology is, hands down, my favorite spa treatment. Do an Internet search for Pilates foot exercises. You’ll discover some good techniques for keeping your feet flexible and pain free. Bunions can
be stopped in their tracks or even reversed through these techniques. Try them before you consider surgery.

Ageless Skin

Whether it’s the skin on your face or anywhere else, you can make it look younger by making it healthier. In fact, your skin is simply a reflection of your overall health. And that means that the things you do to maintain optimal heart health, for example, will also show up as radiant skin. I think by now you know that joy is a real beauty secret too.

Most skin damage is due to cellular inflammation caused by too much sugar and trans fats in the diet along with too much of the stress hormones cortisol and epinephrine. The levels of these hormones increase when you eat poorly, which interferes with the self-healing mechanisms of the body, including the mechanisms that keep skin looking healthy and vibrant. Quality sleep will improve your skin’s health and appearance too. “Beauty” sleep is no joke. Everything is connected, so as you change your diet, combat stress by learning methods to relax deeply, breathe fully, release old resentments and anger, move your body joyously, laugh more, and replenish yourself with a good night’s sleep most nights, you’ll look and feel better in every way.

If you want your skin to be repaired and look better quickly, try this three-day nutritional facelift from Dr. Nick Perricone, author of
The Wrinkle Cure:
eat nothing but wild-caught salmon, watercress, blueberries, and cantaloupe for three days. All of these foods are rich in antioxidants and other micronutrients that will help heal your gut, reduce inflammation and oxidative stress, and contribute to glowing skin. In the long run, a low-sugar, nutrient-dense diet with healthy fats will also promote healthier skin. And if you have rosacea, you’ll see it reduced when you clean up your diet because sugar and alcohol exacerbate the condition. My company A-ma-ta also makes a wonderful skin care line called Performance
³
that contains the herb
Pueraria mirifica,
which is known for its skin-enhancing effects.

The production of the collagen that provides the underlying structure of skin is reduced as we age, thanks to years of stress,
poor diet, environmental toxins, and gravity. African Americans have the most hearty collagen-making ability. (I’ve heard Whoopi Goldberg say, “Black don’t crack” with a smile, and yes, there’s truth to that!) Asians have the next largest amount of collagen-making capacity, and then Caucasians, with blonde and red-headed women making the least.

Whatever your complexion, you can increase your body’s ability to manufacture collagen that will make your skin healthier and younger looking. Eat a low-glycemic diet and take supplements such as vitamins C and D3. Skin care products with ingredients such as
Pueraria mirifica
can help prevent collagen breakdown. If you live in the northern hemisphere and are entering your ageless years, you probably need 5,000 IU of vitamin D3 in winter to keep your levels where they should be.

If your skin is discolored from sun damage, there are ways to reverse the damage. The most effective method is IPL, or intermittent pulse laser, a treatment you can get from a dermatologist or plastic surgeon. This procedure also works beautifully for spider veins. If you don’t use it already, start using sunblock daily. It’s often added to makeup, but don’t forget to use it on your neck and chest, arms, ears, and other exposed areas as well.

Acne is often the result of a diet high in sugar, especially after the teen years. What’s going on in your body can often be read on your face. You might find, for example, that consuming certain foods results in pimples in specific places. A friend of mine found that she broke out in the same place on her chin every time she drank diet cola. Pay attention and make the connection between what you’re eating and what is going on with your facial skin. If you have hormonally related acne, detoxify your body nutritionally to balance your hormones.

If you’re very uncomfortable with your skin’s appearance, new types of cosmetic surgery and procedures you might want to consider are always becoming available. For example, I had a lot of spider veins on my cheeks that completely disappeared with IPL treatments. I get a treatment every six months. Work with an esthetician, dermatologist, or cosmetic surgeon who specializes in working on skin, but beware of the ones who start ticking off all the things you can change about your face. If you go
in because you want to do something about the lines near your upper lip and you start hearing about every other part of your face or body that “could use a little work,” walk out of the office. You don’t need to feel pressured by an “expert” to suddenly see “flaws” in your appearance that never bothered you before.

The lines on your face represent the wisdom you’ve acquired. Don’t get cosmetic procedures to try to look like you’re 22—you’ll just end up looking artificial. A woman once came up to me at a tango event and said, “Look at your daughter’s skin! It’s so beautiful! I wish I could still have skin like that—don’t you?” And I thought, no. I spend no time wishing I could regain the skin or looks I had years ago. That’s because I feel better and more confident now than I ever did at 18, or even at 45! Let divine energy flow through your body and you’ll look vibrant at any age, whether or not you decide to have plastic surgery, get laser treatments, or let your hair go gray. You get to decide.

An Ageless Smile

As a dentist’s daughter, I know that you can tell the state of someone’s health by looking in her mouth. Our teeth naturally fade from a bright white to a more ivory tone as we age, but it’s possible to whiten teeth somewhat through peroxide treatments at home or at a dentist’s office. As you enter your ageless years, you might want to think about doing the dental procedures that will give you a better smile that you’ve put off because it felt frivolous to invest in your own beauty. Veneers, caps, and whitening can all make you feel more confident as you smile.

Whatever your age, good dental care prevents you from experiencing gingivitis that can lead to periodontal disease and tooth loss. It’s important to stay on top of dental hygiene because periodontal disease puts you at higher risk for heart disease and diabetes. The bacteria that build up in your mouth enter your bloodstream through your gums, causing inflammation. Take the time to floss and stimulate your gums, and get cleanings regularly. Don’t bathe your teeth in sugar by snacking throughout the day—and drinking coffee or tea with milk counts as snacking.
Milk and cream, of course, have sugar (though cream has less), and constantly drinking any beverage with sugar in it contributes to tooth decay as well as the buildup of bacteria. To reduce bacteria in the mouth, you can use a technique called oil pulling: put a spoonful of coconut oil in your mouth and pull and push it through your teeth, using your tongue, for about 20 minutes a day. You can also reduce bacteria by brushing with red clay. If you like to chew gum, choose a gum with xylitol, which has been shown to reduce tooth decay.

Teeth, like bones, require calcium, magnesium, boron, and other trace minerals to be strong and healthy. But again, it’s usually not a calcium deficiency that causes problems so much as a lack of magnesium to help you use the calcium in your diet. Osteoporosis usually begins in the jawbone and can be spotted by a dentist long before you’re at risk for a broken hip. As I said earlier, I don’t recommend drugs such as Fosamax for treating osteoporosis because they make bones denser and impede circulation to the roots of the teeth, leading to the need for root canals.

Ultimately, the most beautiful smile is one that’s genuine. It is an expression of sheer pleasure that comes from the heart. As you let go of constricting ideas about beauty and the cultural shaming that affects almost all women, your smile will come more easily. You’ll laugh heartily, without fearing that someone might think you’re too brassy or that you shouldn’t draw attention to yourself. You won’t care about what anyone has to say regarding your personal style because you will have owned that you are a gorgeous, powerful, and ageless goddess—an expression of the life force that can’t contain its joy. That is your birthright. Claim it and celebrate it and you’ll be ageless!

CHAPTER ELEVEN

GODDESSES EMBODY THE DIVINE

The strongest, surest way to the soul is through the flesh.

— M
ABEL
D
ODGE
L
UHAN

I
n
Riding Giants,
a documentary about big-wave surfers, surfer Laird John Hamilton explains that his soul comes to him when he’s at one with these waves, actively engaged with every muscle in his body. When they’re not running, when he is not out there in the water, he’s depressed. Another surf legend, Greg Noll, describes surfing as a lifelong love affair with an extraordinary woman called the ocean. He notes wryly that if someone spends a lifetime in a monastery praying all day, we don’t call him or her a “prayer bum,” but if a person has a deep, sacred relationship with the ocean, which is embodied in the practice of surfing, we apply the label “surf bum.” What both surfers describe are just two of thousands of examples of how thoroughly we’ve separated spirituality from the pleasure
of living in a physical body—as though experiencing the ecstasy of being in our bodies is not sacred or useful, but removing ourselves from them in hours of meditation is. Many of us have internalized the message that our bodies are some kind of burden that must be subdued and transcended.

Unfortunately, many people have mixed-up ideas about divinity and God. God isn’t confined to a book or a church or mosque or synagogue. Divinity is the creative, loving, vital flow of life force that we’re all part of and connected to. Our Spirits serve as a direct phone line to this loving force that actually
is
us. Our bodies are exquisite containers meant to embody, not deny, our spirits.

If you were brought up in a religion that taught you that God is vengeful and punishing—and that if you don’t please God, you’ll be damned with eternal punishment—you might find it challenging to not feel ashamed of your body and its functioning. After all, the roots of Judeo-Christian religions link the downfall of humanity with a woman, Eve, who was seduced by the serpent and tempted Adam with food and sexuality, causing him to eat the fruit too and ensuring that we were banished from paradise. Thenceforth, all women brought forth their children in pain and suffering as penance for Eve’s sin. Talk about adverse programming! But it is from this myth at the heart of our belief system—a system that for many of us goes unexamined—that we’ve come to think that to be spiritual and “good,” we have to deny our bodies and sacrifice ourselves. Dr. Mario Martinez calls this the “atonement archetype,” and believe me, our society is awash in it. We’ve all heard the saying “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” This statement alone is a setup for suffering and the denial of the very exalted emotions and experiences that make life worth living. We don’t have to separate out the desires and needs of the flesh from our spirituality. They’re an expression of the creative life force.

Our bodies require regular touch and pleasure to truly flourish. When you hear the word
pleasure,
do you instantly think of sex? Many do—and this is so limiting! Our culture has focused the enormous range of delights available to humans into the narrow range of sex and slapped a big label on it: SIN!

Yes, sex is highly pleasurable. But there’s an infinite range of pleasure available to us when we’re in a human body that is consciously connected with divinity and our goddess nature. In the movie
City of Angels,
this pleasure of the senses is beautifully depicted in a scene featuring an angel (played by Nicolas Cage). When the angel becomes mortal and is finally able to experience the exquisite taste and juiciness of a pear, he recognizes a simple yet divine pleasure of the earth. Watch it and see what I mean! As long as we have a body, we’re meant to enjoy it with every one of our senses.

As you uncover your pleasure and transform your spirit-denying beliefs, you’ll find that sustainable pleasure is a conscious discipline, not an invitation to addiction and sloth. When you experience pleasure, God comes through you. As you become aware of your divine nature, you’ll find that joy comes to you in ways that are unique to you. One person may express her spirituality through the pleasure of dancing, while another may express it through a love of riding and working with horses. When I was growing up, no one in my family played the harp, and I’d never seen one, but I was desperate to play this instrument and eventually I did. That gold harp is sitting right in front of me now. Although I haven’t played it for years, it symbolizes a very strong connection with my own spirit.