Gods and Mortals: Fourteen Free Urban Fantasy & Paranormal Novels Featuring Thor, Loki, Greek Gods, Native American Spirits, Vampires, Werewolves, & More (189 page)

I
t was
the first night I didn’t dream of his face. Every second of my dreams was filled with Uriah that night. I woke up thinking about Uriah, and for some reason that scared me. Only after replaying the all too real dreams of Uriah in my head a few times did my mind bring my dream guy’s image back to my mind, as if trying to make me guilty for my lapse. For a brief moment, I really missed not seeing him. My head was still too filled with Uriah to dwell on it for long, though.

Waiting for Uriah’s call was torturous. Only knowing that he would be baling and hauling alfalfa all weekend kept me from dashing over to his house for a surprise visit. I didn’t tell my mom what was making me so antsy, but by Saturday morning she knew I needed to get out of the house. Always happy to have an excuse to spend a day in Santa Fe, Mom told me to pack an overnight bag and whisked me off to her favorite hotel, the one that had a full day spa.

We spent Saturday getting covered in mud and cucumbers. It helped some. Eventually, my mom wheedled out what was bothering me and we spent the rest of the day talking about Uriah. Talking to her helped more than anything the spa did to me. I spent most of my free time with Dana and Beth, but my mom was my true best friend. I never had to question the motives behind her love, and she battled my dad for me constantly. The only thing we didn’t talk about was my dad’s weird reaction to me hanging out with Uriah. That was barely even worth mentioning.

As soon as I fell into the plush hotel bed Saturday night my eyes closed and my mind conjured up the image of the wrong person.

At first it was just his hands sliding over my shoulders. Then it was his whole arms wrapping around me and pulling me against his chest. For a few moments we stayed there feeling utterly complete in each other’s arms. He was always the same age as me and he always knew what I needed. When I was upset he would hold me and stroke my hair until my worry or anger disappeared. If I was in a playful mood he would dance with me, spinning me and laughing until we both collapsed. When I needed to know that someone truly loved me, he would show me his love in every caress and kiss.

Tonight I was not upset or playful. My mind and heart were fully focused on love.

Gently his lips pressed against the hollow below my ear, making my head fall to the side so he could explore my skin more easily. His fingers joined his lips on my neck and slowly traced their way down to my shoulder. His touch felt familiar and inviting, but something about the way he kissed me felt different. More insistent than usual, more demanding. I didn’t respond right away and he noticed my hesitation. When his guiding hands turned me to face him, I saw the question in his eyes, the fear that I did not want him and need him as much as I once did.

I woke from the dream with a tremendous sense of guilt hanging over me.

Not even spending another day in the spa could relax me then. Going back home Sunday night ramped up my anxiety even more. Every noise that night woke me from dreams that had nothing to do with Uriah. Sleep deprived hope made me reach for the phone every time. I woke up Monday morning tired and cranky, but all of that disappeared when my phone rang and I saw Uriah’s number on the caller ID. I stumbled excitedly through our conversation, barely even hearing him ask me to go horseback riding with him. Mom laughed as I tore through the house to change clothes. I was riding my mare, Daisy, off our property in record time.

Some of my pent up energy cooled as I reached Uriah’s house. Walking Daisy around to the front of the house, I slid off and tied her reins to the fence next to Uriah’s waiting horse. I had planned to go knock on the door, but I spotted Uriah in the sheep pen next to the house and headed over to him, all thoughts of dreams forgotten. He didn’t notice me until I climbed up on the fence and sat on the top rail.

“Claire,” he said when he saw me, “I didn’t realize you were here already.”

“Sorry, I’m probably a little early.” Would he realize just how quickly I had run out of the house to come see him? I hoped he didn’t think I was a huge dork if he did.

The lamb Uriah was holding bleated in his ear, making Uriah laugh. “No, it’s perfect. I could use your help actually.”

“My help?” I asked. My face must have looked incredulous. That was how I felt, at least. I knew absolutely nothing about sheep.

“If you don’t mind,” he said. “This rascal got in a fight with a bunch of burrs. I got most of them off, but there’s a couple I need to clip out.”

Climbing over the fence, I approached the lamb cautiously. “What do you want me to do?”

“Just hold Ishla’s shoulders so he doesn’t run off. There’s two burrs on his belly that I can’t get to while I’m holding him,” Uriah said.

The lamb’s cuteness didn’t lessen my fear any. I wasn’t afraid of the animal, just of accidently hurting it. Gently, I took the animal’s shoulders and pressed lightly. It wiggled under my grip so I pressed down a little tighter until it stopped moving around. Uriah smiled encouragingly, and picked up his scissors. The lamb flinched when Uriah clipped the burr out of its wool, but held still for the most part. Finished with his work, Uriah patted the lamb on the back, touching my hand as he did.

With a sharp bleat, the little lamb tossed its head back and jumped right into Uriah’s chest. Falling back in surprise, Uriah made no move to catch the little guy as it scampered away. He stared after it looking confused. I reached out and pulled Uriah back up. He flinched when I touched him and I worried that he was hurt. “Are you okay?” I asked. “I’m sorry. I should have held him tighter.”

“Don’t worry about it, that little one is a handful,” Uriah said. “He doesn’t usually act like that around me, though.” Shrugging at the oddity, he forgot it and dusted off his clothes. “Let me just grab something from the house and we can get going.”

He hurried away before I could ask if I should go with him, so I walked back to Daisy and fed her a carrot from my pocket while I waited for Uriah to reappear. He walked back out of the house with his saddle bags slung over his shoulder a few minutes later. The edge of a blanket peeked out from under one of the flaps. By the way the other bag bulged, I was guessing there was a picnic lunch in that one. A ride through the bluffs could only last so long, but a picnic could last as long as you wanted it to.

Trying to hide my grin, I let my hair fall over my face as I swung into Daisy’s saddle.

“Ready?” Uriah asked. I nodded, resisting the urge to push my hair behind my ear.

The ride out of town was filled with idle small talk that most people would have found unimportant. To me it was anything but. Talking about our plans for the summer, the books we were supposed to read, things we liked and didn’t like, and a dozen other things, were all little bits of the puzzle that was Uriah Crowe. Nothing he said gave me any hints about some of the bigger mysteries surrounding him, but the way he laughed and talked so easily with me today gave me hope that he wouldn’t disappear on me like he had other girls.

By the time we reached a secluded valley that was perfect for a picnic, I felt like I had been friends with Uriah for much longer than a few days. Uriah jumped down from his mare and took a step toward me. Expecting him to offer to help me down, I slid off Daisy before he had the chance and landed lightly in the sand. The corner of his mouth twitched, and I hated myself for letting my dad control me once again. I couldn’t stand letting anyone help me because of him, but that just ended up letting my feelings for my dad dictate how I acted anyway. I couldn’t win against him.

Uriah’s quick frown tore at me. I actually would have loved to feel his hands on my waist as he lifted me down. Why didn’t I let him help me get off the horse? Pushing him away was exactly what I was afraid of doing. I wanted to kick myself, but that would only embarrass me further, so I pasted on a smile and went to help him with lunch.

“So what are we having?” I asked.

His dark skin didn’t hide his blush. “I don’t know, actually. My mom packed it for me. Picking burrs out of Ishla’s coat took longer than I thought it would.”

That certainly wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about. Helping that poor lamb was more important. I spread the blanket out on the rough desert grass and watched Uriah set the saddle bag down in the middle. Moving the bag over some, I sat down on the side, making sure the only open space large enough for Uriah to sit was right next to me. Uriah sat down in the right spot, but was far enough away that he wasn't in any danger of touching me. I really hoped he was just being polite.

“Well, let’s open it up and see what we have,” I said.

The roast beef sandwiches and potato salad his mom had packed were delicious. What was even better was lying on the blanket with Uriah after all the food was gone. Still careful of the distance between us, Uriah laid next to me. The heat of the desert pressed all around us, attempting to burn away the desire I felt being so close to him. It didn’t work.

All the heat did was make me think of the soothing warmth I had felt come over me with Uriah’s arm around my shoulder a few days ago. I wanted to feel that again. He had yet to really touch me even once today. The sun beating down on my closed eyelids was a poor substitute. When I felt Uriah shift next to me, I opened my eyes to find him propped up on his elbow, gazing down at me. My smile was timid and shaky as I wished he would move in closer.

“Thanks for coming with me today,” he said.

“Thanks for inviting me.” Now kiss me, I thought.

Some part of me wondered if I was falling for whatever everyone else fell for around him, but a bigger part of me really didn’t care. Just as I knew I wouldn’t. The memory of him touching my cheek on Friday had haunted me all weekend. Why wouldn’t he touch me like that again? A very good reason popped into my head. My dad.

The desire to strangle something had me grinding my teeth. He had to be the reason Uriah was keeping his distance today. I was not about to let my dad have any part in my relationship with Uriah, what tiny bit we actually had.

“Uriah,” I started, “I’m really sorry about the way my dad acted the other day. I don’t know what his problem was, but he was incredibly rude to you.”

“Oh, that’s all right. I don’t think your dad has ever liked me very much,” Uriah said.

“Why not?” I asked. Uriah was practically the town hero. He was pretty much the only reason our little high school got any kind of recognition in the sports world. With my dad being so heavily involved in sports, I thought he adored Uriah like everyone else did.

Uriah didn’t seem to understand it either. He just shrugged in answer to my question.

“Well, don’t worry about my dad. The day I actually listen to him about anything is the day San Juan turns into a swampland.”

“I take it you and your dad don’t get along, then?” Uriah asked.

Rolling my eyes, I laughed. “Saying we don’t get along would be an understatement. I can’t stand him because he tries to control my life and he despises me because I’m not the perfect little china doll he expected me to be.”

That last part came out a little too filled with venom. Uriah frowned as he watched my face tighten in an effort to hold back my anger. Just talking about my dad made me want to scream. Especially after he had spent the weekend calling and hounding me to make sure I wasn’t trying to see Uriah. My dad being at work today was the only reason I was able to leave without him tailing me. Putting him out of my head today seemed to be impossible. I couldn’t even go five minutes without him crowding into my mind and spoiling my day. Why couldn’t my dad love me for who I was like any normal parent?

Despite my best efforts, a tear slipped down my cheek. I turned away from Uriah to try and hide it. His fingers slid along my cheek and gently turned my face so I was looking at him again. Tears stayed frozen on my skin as I held my breath. So light I could barely feel it, Uriah swept his fingers across my cheek, taking my tears and anger away.

“Hey,” Uriah said softly, “it’s okay. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

My lips quivered into a smile. “You didn’t.” I don’t think Uriah could ever upset me even if he tried. “I just hate the way he treats me.”

“What does he do?” Uriah asked.

“He tries to control my life,” I said. I hated the sharp tone of my voice. I couldn’t seem to shake it, though.

Uriah smiled as he ran his hand up to my hair. “Isn’t that what all parents do?” He seemed to be focusing very intently on me now.

“Whatever other parents do, my dad is ten times worse,” I said. “He has my entire future mapped out. What I want doesn’t matter to him at all.”

“He’s probably just doing what he thinks is best for you,” Uriah said.

Sitting up on the blanket, my motion pushed Uriah away. The way I was glaring at him didn’t help either. “My dad has to approve of my clothes, hairstyles, makeup, everything, because he refuses to let me look ‘average.’ Looking like a model is more important to him than getting good grades. He’s never once come to any of my school functions. The only reason he plans to send me to college is to make sure I find a rich husband. I can’t even choose where I want to go. He’s already decided I’ll go to Boston because that’s where he went and he has friends there he can hand me off to.

“I wanted to play volleyball, but he refused to let me because it wasn’t ladylike enough. He gave me the choice of ballet or piano lessons. He controls who my friends are because he controls most of the parents. If he doesn’t like someone I’m hanging out with, he talks to their parents and suddenly that person won’t even speak to me anymore. And he does it all just because he wants me to live up to his family name. His grandfather was the last Tewa Chief and that means I’m screwed. I have no freedom because of who my ancestors are. My dad isn’t doing what’s best for me, just what he thinks is best for himself.”

Uriah sat in stunned silence for a few seconds. His hand had fallen away from me when I sat up so abruptly, and it stayed away now. Uncertainty flickered in his eyes. The rise and fall of his broad chest had stopped, holding in the breath he had taken. I had done it again. If he got up and left right now, I could only blame myself. My dad’s controlling hand felt tighter around my neck than it ever had before. I let him do this to me.