Authors: C. Gockel,S. T. Bende,Christine Pope,T. G. Ayer,Eva Pohler,Ednah Walters,Mary Ting,Melissa Haag,Laura Howard,DelSheree Gladden,Nancy Straight,Karen Lynch,Kim Richardson,Becca Mills
“You feel strong to ride?”
I wheeled my bike up to the road. “I’m fine. It’s only a few miles.”
The road was little more than a gravel path with grass pushing up in the center. A long time ago there used to be an old silver mine down this way but that closed up back in the forties. Now the only vehicles that came down here were the occasional ATV or dirt bike. There were a lot better trails out past the Knolls and up near the old lighthouse.
It was a rough ride until I reached the main road. I thought for the hundredth time that I really needed to get my license. Nate had a Honda Element that fit his wheelchair and he’d probably let me borrow it sometimes if I could drive. Roland was always offering to teach me, maybe it was time to take him up on it.
Once I hit the main road I moved to the shoulder to avoid the evening traffic. Halfway home a sleek black Ducati roared past me and the wind almost knocked me sideways. “Watch it!” I yelled at him as if he could hear me. For a moment, he started to slow down and all I could think was
Oh crap!
But he apparently changed his mind and kept going. Hanging around Jed’s I’d seen a lot of bikers and most of them were decent guys, but there were always a few troublemakers. The way my luck was going lately, I didn’t want to push it.
Needless to say, I was taken off guard when I reached the waterfront and saw a black Ducati sitting in front of the coffee shop next door to our building. It could have been a coincidence – there are lots of black motorcycles – but something told me that wasn’t the case. I considered cutting between the buildings to Market Street and going the long way around to our building, but I dismissed that idea. Eli had made me suspicious of strangers but I wasn’t a coward and I would not start acting like one now.
I changed my mind when I spotted the tall figure leaning casually against the side of the coffee shop. Wearing jeans and a black leather jacket over a grey t-shirt, Nikolas appeared to be waiting for someone – and I didn’t need three guesses to figure out whom.
As I drew near to him, I felt the stirring in the back of my mind, the same faint tickle of recognition I’d experienced the moment we met. My stomach fluttered as I remembered our first encounter in the club and then how he had faced down two vampires to save me. But then I remembered his strange behavior. One minute he’d looked at me with something akin to hostility and the next he was swooping in to save my life. Then he was back to being cold and distant again. Which Nikolas was waiting for me now? More importantly, what did he want?
I was tempted to ride past him but curiosity got the better of me. “How did you find me?” I asked brusquely. After the way we’d parted the other night, I didn’t see any need for niceties.
The corners of his mouth turned upward and amusement flashed in his grey eyes. “What, no hello after everything we’ve been through together?”
He could turn that charm on someone else because it was wasted on me. “Hello. How did you find me?”
If he was bothered by my less than friendly greeting, he didn’t show it. “I tracked your friend’s license plate.”
I wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or disturbed; maybe a bit of both. “Why?” He hadn’t exactly left on a friendly note the other night and I could not think of any reason for him to come looking for me. He didn’t strike me as a guy who made house calls.
My question seemed to make him pause for a moment before he pushed away from the building. “We need to talk.”
His tone had lost some of its teasing and I instantly felt uneasy. I tightened my grip on the handlebars. “Talk about what?”
Nikolas raised an eyebrow. “You look ready to flee. I don’t bite, you know.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought about the other fellow,” I replied dryly and he surprised me by chuckling. His face lost its hardness and his sensual smile made my stomach flutter before I gave myself a mental shake.
“You sound like you are well recovered at least.” His eyes met mine unwaveringly. “I’m not here to harm you and we really do need to talk.”
“What could we have to talk about? I don’t even know your last name.”
“It’s Danshov and your last name is Grey. Now that we are acquainted, can we talk?”
He sounded sincere and we were out in the open so I didn’t think I was in any real danger. Plus he
had
saved my life. I should hear what he had to say; I owed him that much at least. “Okay.”
“Is there somewhere we can talk privately?”
I thought for a moment. “We can go down to the wharves. They’re usually pretty empty this time of day.”
“That will work.”
I told him I’d be back in a minute then I wheeled my bike around the corner of our building and hid it behind Nate’s car. When I came back he was standing in front of his motorcycle waiting for me. Neither of us spoke as we started walking toward the wharves. I wondered if he felt as awkward as I did. No, guys like him probably never feel uncomfortable. His every movement emanated confidence and he had the added advantage of size. I’m five-five and I felt dwarfed by him as we walked side-by-side.
He was silent until we passed a stack of lobster traps and began strolling along one of the deserted wharves. “How long have you been friends with the werewolves?” he asked.
The question confused me until I remembered what Maxwell had said about the werewolves and the Mohiri disliking each other. If Nikolas had a problem with my friendship with Roland and Peter he would just have to get over it. “A long time.”
“And your parents don’t mind?”
“It’s just me and my uncle and he likes my friends but he doesn’t know what they are. He doesn’t know about any of this,” I said pointedly.
He nodded. “Do you mind if I ask about your parents? How did you come to live with your uncle?”
“My parents are gone. My mother left when I was two so I don’t remember her. My dad died when I was eight.” I swallowed the familiar lump and stared straight ahead. “Uncle Nate is his brother.”
“Do you know your mother’s maiden name?”
I stopped walking and looked at him. “Why do you want to know about my parents? What do they have to do with anything?”
His face gave nothing away. “Answer my question and I will answer yours.”
I turned away in a huff and resumed walking. “Her name was Madeline. I think her maiden name was Cross or something like that. She abandoned us. I don’t really care who she was.”
It took me a few seconds to realize Nikolas was not beside me. I turned to look back at him and saw an odd expression on his face. “What’s wrong?”
“Madeline Croix? That was her name?”
“It could be. I’m not sure. Why are you looking at me like that?”
He stared out at the water. “I just haven’t heard that name in a while. If she is the Madeline I knew, it explains a lot to me.”
“Well it doesn’t tell me anything so why don’t you fill me in? You said you would answer my question if I answered yours.”
He gave me a small smile as he walked toward me. “I will.” We were almost at the end of the wharf where two large lobster boats were moored. Nikolas pointed at some overturned crates. “Let’s sit. This is a good place to talk.”
I sat on one of the crates. Nikolas took the other and turned it so he was facing me. This close, his eyes were like liquid mercury and I tried to ignore the funny twisting in my gut.
“You didn’t know who the Mohiri were before the other night. How much do you know about us now?”
I lifted a shoulder. “I know you guys are vampire hunters and you and the werewolves don’t like each other. That’s pretty much it.”
“I imagine your friends don’t talk about us any more that we do about them. Would you like to know more about the Mohiri?”
“Yes.” I had no idea why he was telling me this but I was curious about him and his whole race.
My response seemed to please him because he smiled. “You seem very familiar with our world but how much do you know about demons?”
“Nothing, except to stay as far away from them as possible.”
“What if I told you there are thousands of types of demons and that vampires are one of them?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’d ask you if you are deliberately trying to scare the hell out of me.”
He leaned forward with his elbows resting on his thighs. His eyes held mine with the same intensity I’d felt when we first met. “I am not here to frighten you.”
I tore my gaze from his and looked down at my hands.
Too late.
“Do you still want to hear about the Mohiri?”
I looked at him again, glad that whatever I’d seen in his eyes a minute ago was gone. “Go ahead.”
“You sure?”
I gave him an encouraging smile. “Yes. I want to hear this.”
He looked out at the bay. “It all started two millennia ago when demons learned how to leave their dimension and walk the earth in corporeal form. Most of them were lesser demons and they were dangerous but not a major threat to humanity. But then a middle demon called a Vamhir appeared. It took a human host and gave the human immortality… and the thirst for human blood.”
“The first vampire,” I whispered, feeling a mixture of revulsion and fascination.
Nikolas nodded. “The demon soon learned how to make more like him and before long there were thousands of vampires. The earth’s population was small back then and ancient civilizations were virtually defenseless against the vampires’ strength and blood lust. If left unchecked, the vampires would eventually overrun the earth and wipe out humanity. So the archangel Michael came to earth to create a race of warriors to destroy the vampires. He took a middle demon called a Mori and put it inside a human male and had the male impregnate fifty human women. Their offspring were half human/half demon and they had the speed, strength and agility to hunt and kill vampires. They were the first Mohiri.”
He stopped and looked at me waiting for my reaction. But I was still trying to absorb the part about a demon impregnating women without squirming off my seat. It finally hit me what he was saying and I couldn’t help the incredulous look I gave him.
“The Mohiri are demons?”
“Half demon,” he corrected me. “Each of us is born with a Mori demon in us.”
I felt the color drain from my face. “You mean you live with a demon inside you like… like a parasite?”
“Exactly like that,” he said as if it was no big deal. “We give the Mori life and in return it gives us the ability to do what we were created to do. It is a symbiotic relationship that benefits us both.”
It was too much. I got up and walked to the edge of the wharf, struggling to grasp what he was telling me. Demon parasites? I peered down at the water and I could just make out a few tomcods and a sculpin below the surface. The water looked deceptively shallow here but I knew it was over fifteen feet deep at this end of the wharf. Nothing in this world was what it appeared to be.
“You’re not planning on jumping are you?” There was amusement in his voice but also something that sounded like concern.
I sucked in a fortifying breath and faced him. He was still sitting on the crate watching me expectantly. What was I was supposed to say to him? Everything I’d ever heard or read had taught me to fear demons and keep my distance from them. Now Nikolas was telling me that he was a half demon warrior who went around protecting humans by killing other demons. I didn’t know how much more weirdness I could handle.
“Why are you telling me all this?” Somehow I didn’t think he had tracked me down just to educate me on demons.
He stood and walked toward me, stopping a few feet away. “Because you need to hear it.”
“Why? What does this have to do with me? Or my parents?”
Nikolas’s face grew more serious. “I’ll get to them in a minute. First, tell me, haven’t you wondered why you’re different from everyone else you know?”
“D-different?” How could he possibly know about that? “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I think you do.”
“Listen I –”
His gaze captured mine again, his eyes turning a deep charcoal grey. Before I could contemplate how a person’s eyes could have so many different hues, I felt the softest brush against my mind. Some unseen force pushed gently against my walls, testing them, and in the recesses of my mind the beast stirred in response. Panic flared in me and I reached for my power, suddenly feeling like I was locked in a battle of wills. The comforting strength of my power coursed through me and slammed against the foreign presence, flinging it away from me. Gasping, I whirled away from him.
What was that?
I’d never felt so exposed and vulnerable in my life and it terrified me.
“Sara?”
I can’t do this.
I wasn’t sure what
this
was but I suddenly knew I didn’t want to hear anything else he had to say. “I have to go,” I uttered, moving to go around him.
“Running away won’t change anything, Sara.”
I didn’t answer, just kept walking.
“I didn’t take you for a coward.”
His taunt brought me to a halt but I didn’t turn around. “You don’t know anything about me.”
“I think we both know that’s not true.”
I spun back to him because there
was
one thing I wanted to know. “What about my parents?” I demanded. “Did you know them?”
“Not your father. But I knew Madeline Croix for many years.”
I shook my head. “You’re only a few years older than me.”
His face was unreadable. “I’m older than I look.”
“So what are you trying to tell me?” I asked weakly. “How do you know Madeline?”
There was no softness in his voice, only truth. “I watched her grow up.”
I stared at him mutely and his words hung in the air between us. No, it wasn’t possible. Madeline Croix was a terrible wife and mother but she was not… one of them. Because if she was then that would make me…
“
N
o
!” I spun away from him and this time I did not stop when he called my name. I bolted for the waterfront, afraid to hear whatever he started to say next. It wasn’t true – it couldn’t be true. There had to be more than one woman named Madeline Croix and for Nikolas to make such an assertion after our one encounter was insane.
He appeared in front of me, feet apart, blocking my only means of escape and I skidded to a stop inches from him. My hands flew up to brace me from slamming into his hard chest.
“How –?” I panted.
“Demon speed, remember.”
I winced and backed away. “Someone could have seen you.”
He gave a small shrug. “You and I both know that people see only what they want to see and believe what they want to believe.” He took a step toward me, forcing me to take another step back. “But just because a person chooses to not believe something, that doesn’t mean it’s not real.”
I hugged my arms to my chest. “How can you be so sure?” I asked, hearing the desperation in my voice. “There must be more than one Madeline Croix.”
Nikolas’s sigh sounded almost regretful. “I was sure of what you are before I heard her name. As soon as I saw you the other night, I knew.” He averted his gaze as if he knew I would not like his next words. “My Mori recognized yours.”
The air left my body. “What?”
“Mori can sense each other when they are near. It is how one Mohiri always recognizes another.” He glanced at me and he must have seen the denial forming on my lips because he added, “They are never wrong.”
“I…” I had no idea how to respond.
Nikolas’s dark eyes swept over my face as if he was searching for something. “You felt it, didn’t you?”
I thought about that night and the weird sense of déjà vu that hit me when I first looked into his eyes. There had been an instant where it felt like I knew him somehow even though I was sure we had never met. The same feeling I had when I saw him waiting for me by the coffee shop.
My nod was almost imperceptible. “This can’t be happening.”
One corner of his mouth lifted. “There are worse fates, you know.”
“You’re telling me I have a demon parasite inside me and I’m supposed to be okay with that?”
“It’s not as bad as you make it sound.”
“No, it’s worse.” All these years I’d fought with the beast in my head and now I discovered it was something far worse than I could ever have imagined. Nausea curled in my stomach.
He made no move toward me but I heard a softening in his voice. “I know this is strange and frightening, but you are not the first orphan we’ve found. You will adjust as they have.”
“Orphan?”
“It’s just a term we use for young Mohiri who were not born to our way of life. They have no idea who they really are until we find them.”
“Then there are others like me?” The thought that someone else had gone through this gave me a small measure of comfort.
“Not exactly like you.” His brow furrowed. “The others have been much younger.”
“What does that matter?”
He looked away briefly and his expression was serious when his gaze returned to me. “Our Mori need us to survive as much as we need them but they are still demons and they have certain impulses and a will of their own. We learn from a very early age to control those urges and to balance our human and demon sides. Otherwise, the Mori will try to become dominant. Orphans who are not found young enough to be trained, grow up with deep mental and emotional problems, tormented by their demon side. The worst cases become severely schizophrenic and end up in institutions… or they kill themselves.”
I inhaled sharply as I thought about the thing in my head and the dark elation I’d felt as I punched Scott. It had always felt like another consciousness lived in my head, one that would take over my mind if I let it. A shudder passed through me when I thought of where I’d be if I hadn’t learned to control it. I would have ended up just like those kids Nikolas was talking about. Maybe I still would.
“How old was the oldest orphan you ever brought in?”
“The oldest reclaimed was ten and she was the exception. The others were no more than seven.”
“Ten,” I squeaked. If what he was saying was right, I should be insane or dead by now. Maybe he was wrong about me. Maybe I wasn’t one of his orphans after all.
“I know what you are thinking; I see it in your face. You are Mohiri. I know that with one hundred percent certainty.” He took another step toward me, his eyes searching mine. “What I don’t know is how you learned to subdue your demon without training. I’ve never seen control like yours. Your Mori is practically dormant.”
Warmth spread through my belly at his nearness and something fired in my brain. I backed up a step to keep several feet between us. I knew it was that
demon
inside me reacting to another of its kind but that didn’t make me feel any better about it.
“Is that why I’m not fast or strong like you?” I asked to cover my discomfort.
“That and we reach maturity around eighteen or nineteen, which is also when our Mori reaches full strength. You should already have noticed some of your abilities starting to show by now but you’ll have to learn how to use your demon side to enhance your physical abilities.”
My demon side. A shudder went through me. I didn’t want this.
“Are you okay?”
“No,” I told him honestly. “It’s just so much to take in.”
He nodded in understanding. “It will take time.”
My throat was dry when I tried to swallow. “So what else can you do besides move really fast and catch people falling off buildings? What other powers do you have?”
“Powers?”
“You know: can you compel people like vampires do or read minds or heal things. Stuff like that.”
He chuckled. “No special powers or compulsion or anything else. We have the speed and strength to fight vampires. That is all we need.”
“Oh.” Not the answer I expected. If my healing ability did not come from the Mori, where did it come from?
“You sound disappointed.”
“No, I’m just trying to understand it all.” The sun was low in the sky now and it suddenly bathed his perfect face in golden hues. “How old are you? And I don’t mean how old you look.”
I thought he wasn’t going to answer until he said, “I was born in eighteen twenty.”
My jaw fell open but I did not care. It wasn’t hard to do the math; he was almost two hundred years old. And he looked twenty, twenty-one at the most. Then the impact of his answer hit me. “Am I…?”
“Yes. Once you reach maturity, aging will stop for you too.”
“Oh,” I said faintly. People are always searching for the fountain of youth. Even I had wondered what it would be like to live many lifetimes and see how the world changed. But suddenly being faced with the prospect of never aging while Nate and everyone else I loved grew old and died filled me with a sense of loss so great it almost sent me to my knees.
“That upsets you?” His voice held a note of surprise and I guessed most orphans were happy to learn they would live forever.
I nodded mutely. A cool breeze came up and I rubbed my arms, thinking that fall was just around the corner. I almost laughed hysterically at my thoughts. Here I had just discovered I was immortal and I was thinking about the weather.
“You’re cold.” He started to remove his jacket but I waved it away, not sure I could deal with kindness from him.
“I’m fine thanks.” I stared down at the worn boards of the wharf then back at him. “What if I don’t want to join the Mohiri?”
His brow furrowed. “You don’t join. You
are
Mohiri.”
“What if I don’t want to live with them and I just want to stay here? You said yourself that I can control this demon thing better than anyone you’ve ever seen so I don’t need your training.” I’d gotten by okay so far and I didn’t want to leave Nate, Remy or Roland and Peter. I was grateful to Nikolas for saving me and I couldn’t deny I felt some strange attraction for him, but it wasn’t enough for me to turn away from the only life I knew.
“You don’t belong here anymore. What will you tell people when you stop aging? What will you do when everyone you know here grows old and dies? You need to be with your own people.”
Nikolas’s words hurt even though I’d had the same thoughts a few minutes ago. “These are my people.”
“That is because they are all you’ve ever known. Once you get to know the Mohiri –”
“No! I knew a Mohiri, remember, and all she did for me was to abandon me and my father.” He opened his mouth to speak but I blazed on. “My
loving
Mohiri mother deserted us and my dad was murdered by vampires. Where were my people then?”
His face registered his shock. “Vampires killed your father?”
I laughed bitterly. “Pathetic isn’t it? You’d think someone like me would be a lot less likely to be taken in by a vampire, considering my past and my genes. Some warrior.”
I pushed past him and he didn’t try to stop me. Instead he kept pace beside me. “That vampire, Eli, knows what you are now. He’ll be looking for you. Vampires love nothing more than draining Mohiri orphans. We deprived him of that pleasure and he will not forget it.”
My step faltered but I kept going. “I thought you said he wouldn’t get away.”
“He was more resourceful than most.”
“Well if he does come back, he’ll think I’m in Portland, right? There is no way he’d know to look for me here. Besides, this is werewolf territory and the werewolves are doing sweeps of Portland to find the vampires.”
“The werewolves might not catch him either.”
I shot him an angry look. “Are you
trying
to scare me?”
“No but I will not lie to you either.” Nikolas sounded sincere and for some reason that annoyed me even more. I wanted to go home and put him and the Mohiri behind me, to go back to the life I knew and understood.
We reached his motorcycle and I stopped and faced him. “I don’t want you to think I’m not grateful for you saving my life because I am, more than I can say. But your way of life, your people – I don’t belong with them.”
He did not look happy. Obviously most orphans were willing to give up everything they knew for the Mohiri. I was not one of them.
He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a white card containing only a phone number. “This is my number. Call me if you need me or when you reconsider your options.”
I took the card and stuck it in my back pocket knowing that it would end up in a drawer somewhere and I’d never use it. “I won’t reconsider.”
“One more thing.” Nikolas put his hand inside his jacket again and withdrew a sheathed dagger. He turned the knife over in his hand and thrust it toward me handle first. “You may feel safe here now but as you found out Friday night, danger can find you when you least expect it.”
I tried to refuse the weapon but he pressed it into my hand and my fingers closed around the handle of their own accord. When I pulled the knife free of its sheath the silver blade gave off an almost ghostly gleam in the fading light. It looked like the one I had stabbed Eli with, only smaller, and the intricately carved handle was made of a dark polished wood. It fit my hand like it was made for me.
He donned his helmet and swung a leg over his motorcycle. “I’ll be seeing you, Sara,” he drawled before the Ducati purred to life.
“No you won’t,” I replied, but it was drowned by the roar of the engine as he sped away.
I moved like a sleepwalker as I made dinner. It was a good thing Nate was too busy working on a big scene to eat with me because I was incapable of making normal conversation. After I finished my tasteless meal, I escaped to my room where I watched TV, read a book, even did homework; anything to avoid thinking about the weapon hidden in the back of my closet and the train wreck that was my life. No matter what I did, the truth hovered over me like a wave of misery about to crash down and suffocate me and there was nowhere to hide and no way to outrun it.
I paced the floor of my room like a lion in a cage, except I could not roar out my anguish with Nate downstairs. How could I tell him what was going on and who or what I really was? I pictured the revulsion on his face if he learned that I was part demon. My skin tightened and my stomach rebelled whenever I dwelled on the fact that a demon parasite was burrowed inside me. I wanted to scream and rip the ugliness from me so I could go back to feeling human again.
But I never was human, was I? My whole life was a lie. Did my dad know what Madeline was? Did he die knowing his daughter had a monster living inside her?
I stared at my face in the bathroom mirror, looking for signs, anything that would give my horrible secret away to the world. But all I saw was a normal, seventeen year old girl. I’d always scoffed at the kids at school for not being themselves, for trying to be something else to fit in. Jock, cheerleader, bully; they were all masks that hid the real people. But now I knew that I wore the biggest mask of all. I was a demon wearing a human face.
How could I live like this, to endure this knowledge for the rest of my life – my immortal life? I put a hand over my mouth to smother the sob torn from my throat. Nate, Roland, Peter, even Remy; everyone I loved would die someday but I would live on. I could never have a normal relationship because everyone around me would eventually grow old and die. The thought of such a dismal existence brought on a swell of loneliness so fierce I almost doubled over from the pain in my chest.
Sleep was impossible and the next morning I was bleary eyed and hollow as I got ready for school. I managed to avoid talking with anyone all morning and instead of going to the cafeteria at lunch, I holed up in the library. I had no appetite and I couldn’t bear to face Roland and Peter yet. The werewolves had made it clear they did not like the Mohiri. What would my friends do when they found out I was Mohiri? I couldn’t keep something like this from them, but I needed more time to prepare myself. I needed a few more days to pretend my life was not being ripped apart from the inside out.
The week passed in a blur of classes, skipped lunches and tormented nights. On Thursday after school, Roland caught me before I could slip away and asked me if I was sick because I was pale and even more withdrawn than usual. I mumbled an excuse about the flu and escaped before he could see through my lie.