God's Doodle (27 page)
Authors: Tom Hickman
And why? Because, as Diamond also points out, human sex isn’t just a biological imperative. Despite all the trouble and travail it causes penis-possessors and non-penis-possessors alike, sex is fun. A world without sex, the American humorist Henry Louis Mencken thought,
would be unbearably dull. It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all. Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill.
Yet, increasingly, science is divorcing sex from reproduction. The
Journal of Australia
, an authority on in-vitro fertilisation, predicts that sexual intercourse will fade away as a means of procreation in favour of technology that can achieve genetic preferences and avoid genetic risks. Evolutionary biologist Robin Baker goes further, predicting that ‘if sex no longer has any biological benefit but is only acting out ancient scenarios’, its attraction could wane. Should that happen the penis would become less and less significant and in a thousand years could shrink to the gorilla-like dimensions from which it grew.
It’s a dystopian view. Penis-possessors everywhere can only hope that their descendants fight evolutionary fate every inch of the way.
INDEX
The page references in this index correspond to the printed edition from which this ebook was created. To find a specific word or phrase from the index, please use the search feature of your ebook reader.
10cc (pop group) 195
Aaron 12
Abbot, Henry 88
Abelard, Pierre 118
Abishag 153
Abraham 68
An ABZ of Love
(I. & S. Hegeler) 9
Acting My Life
(Holm) 42
Acton, William 133
Adam & Eve 74, 140, 171–2
adultery 7, 118, 140, 161
Aeschylus 72
Africa, Africans 70, 91, 120–1, 127, 128, 165, 166, 188
African Americans 17, 20
Aggression and Community: Paradoxes of Andalusian Culture
(Gilmore) 177
The Alarming History of Sex
(Gordon) 54, 106
Alaska 119
Albert, Prince 108
Alexandra, Tsarina 107
Allen, Woody 26
Aly Khan, Prince 192
Amazon tribes 155
America, Americans 11, 12, 13
American Gigolo
(film, 1980) 103
American Pie
(film, 1999) 181
Amis, Kingsley 151, 178
Amun 65
anal sex 141, 188, 210, 213
An Analysis of Human Sexual Response
(R. & E. Brecher) 195
Ancient Egypt 65–6, 68, 116, 131, 165
Ancient Greeks 24, 50, 66, 67, 68, 70, 75, 79, 83, 87, 139, 140, 165, 170, 184, 187, 188, 189, 190, 203, 214
Andalusia 177
Anderson, Pamela 51
Antony and Cleopatra
(Shakespeare) 60
Antwerp 80
aphrodisiacs 153–4, 159
Arabs 28, 66, 68
Aranda tribe 137, 213
Archives of Sexual Behavior
37
Argyll, 11th Duke of 7
Argyll, Margaret, Duchess of 7–8
Aristophanes 68–9
Aristotle 70, 72, 74
Armenia 121, 129
Asher, Jane 53
Asia, Asians 20, 21–2, 48, 51, 121,
154
, 173
Asshur 66
Assyria 77, 155
Athenians 70, 87
Atlas of Human Sex Anatomy
(Dickinson) 14, 18
Atum 65
augmentation phalloplasty 22
aura seminalis
74
Auslander, Shalom 140
Australia, Australians 106, 137, 166–7
Australian Aboriginals 165
Ayckbourn, Alan 55–6
Aztecs 50, 116
Babylonians 116
Bad Sex Award for Fiction 211
Baden Powell, Robert 200
Baker, Robin 201–2, 218
Baldwin I, King 80
Bangkok Post
28–9
Bankhead, Tallulah 191
Barham, Patte 107
Barnes, Julian 43–4
Barnfield, Richard 9–10
Bartholin, Thomas 130
Bates, Alan 25
BBC Broadcasting House 90
Beardsley, Aubrey 85
Beatty, Warren 205
Bech: A Book
(Updike) 56
Bede, Venerable 78
Bedroom Farce
(Ayckbourn) 55–6
Before She Met Me
(Barnes) 43–4
Bennett, Alan 37–8, 42
Berle, Milton 39, 108
bestiality 180
Bible 12, 68, 77–8, 171–2
Bible Belt America 117
Bill, Elizabeth 89
Bindon, John 173
The Birds
(Aristophanes) 68–9
‘Bishop Percy’s Loose Songs’ (1650) 152
Biswell, Andrew 101
Black Death 79, 94
Black Diaries
(Casement) 18
Black Spring
(Miller) 77
Bloch, Ivan 96–7
The Blue Room
(play) 103
Bobbitt, John Wayne 118
Bobbitt, Lorena 118
body dysmorphia 29–30
Bogaert, A.F. 19
Boleyn, Anne 146
Bonaparte, Princess Pauline Borghese 31
bonobos 46, 47, 217
Boogie Nights
(film, 1997) 18
The Book of the Penis
(Paley) 55
Bordo, Susan 56
Borghese, Prince Camillo 31
Borneo 127
Boswell, James 89, 134–5, 175, 184, 207
Brazil
(Updike) 211
Brecher, Edward 195
Brecher, Ruth 195
Brida
(Coelho) 212
Brihat Samhita
(Sanskrit, 6th century) 13, 50, 186
Brindley, Giles 157
Brinkley, John 156
British Medical Journal
131
British Museum 112
Brooke, Rupert 175
Brown-Séquard, Charles Édouard 155–6
Browne, Sir Thomas 64
Bruce
, Lenny 179
Buddhism 76, 140, 191
Buff
(play) 103
Bulgaria, Bulgarians 207
Burgess, Anthony 101
Burma 108
Burton, Sir Richard 77
Bush, George Snr 25
Buss, David 46–7, 179
Byrd, William 10
Byzantium 122
Calcata (Italy) 81
The Call-Up
(Hickman) 183
Cambridge University 79
Campbell, Cameron Sergeant Thomas 100
Carew, Sir Thomas 38
Carib Indians 120
Caribbean 20, 166
Caro, Robert A. 90
Carrott, Jasper 166
Casanova, Giacomo 189
The Case of Impotence As Debated in England
(Curll) 147
Casement, Sir Roger 18
Castle in the Forest
(Mailer) 211
castration and castrati 122–4
culinary purposes 120
due to fear of other races 116–17
and eunuchs 120–2
executioners and torturers stock-in-trade 117–18
female emasculation of men 118–20
and hemicastration 164
and the hijras 163
and Japanese legend 164
as life-threatening 121–2
medical reasons 125
physical changes 123
as price for variety of crimes 118
and religious beliefs 124–5
self-castration 124–5
in Shakespeare 163
Catherine, Empress 89
Catullus 24
Cerne Giant 167–8
Chaggi tribe (Tanzania) 207
Chaplin, Charlie 39
Chapman brothers (Jake and Dinos) 104
Charlemagne, Emperor 80
Charles I 118
Charles II 38
Chartres 81
Chaucer, Geoffrey 93–4, 190
Chiang Mai hospital (Thailand) 29
Children in Need 20
chimpanzees 45, 46, 47, 147, 156, 217
China, Chinese 72, 73, 75, 83, 107, 118, 121–2, 127, 128, 139, 142, 154, 159, 168, 184, 187, 192, 203
Christians, Christianity 76–9, 80–3, 94, 112, 117, 124, 140, 170, 184, 187
Christie, Lynford 20, 98–9
Churchill, Winston 8, 209
circumcision 18, 80, 117, 144, 162–3, 165
Cleaver, Eldridge 101–2
Cleland, John 14, 51, 199
Clift, Montgomery 31
Clinton, Bill 1, 10, 43, 86, 183
Clisyphus 181
clothing
and athletes 98–9
and elongated shoes 94–5
sheaths and codpieces 91–4, 95–6, 99–102, 116, 132
sporrans and kilts 100–1
theatrical context 96–7
and trousers 97–8, 101
and which side a man dresses 51, 96
Cocteau, Jean 172
Coelho, Paulo 212
Colombia 165
Columbus, Christopher 131
Comfort, Alex 9, 23, 57–8, 87, 183, 196
conception 72, 74–5, 107, 164, 213–14
condoms 134–5
contraception 210
Cooking with Elvis
(play) 42
Cooper, Alice 181
Cosmo, Saint 82–3
Cosmopolitan
magazine 23, 25, 26
Costner, Kevin 103
Coucy, Thomas de 117
Couples
(Updike) 59, 185
Craig, Amanda 85–6
Cromwell, Oliver 84, 167–8
Cruikshank, George 195
Crusades 117
cuckolds 33
Culpeper, Nicholas 73–4
Curll, Edmund 147
Cybele cult 124
Dalí, Salvador 31, 85
Damian, Saint 82
Dani tribe (Papua New Guinea) 92
Daniélou, Alain 77
David, King 68, 153
David (Michaelangelo statue) 162
Davis, Sammy Jnr 108
Dawkins, Richard 172
Day, Beth 17
De Beauvoir, Simone 3, 53, 60, 130–1
De Quincey, Thomas 33
De Sade, Marquis 181
De secretis muilierum
(On Women’s Secrets) 128
De vita sua
(Guibert de Nogent) 117
Deep Throat
(film, 1972) 184
Definitive Penis Survey (Edwards) 19, 21, 34–5, 60
Delacroix, Ferdinand 59
Delos 66
Denmark, Danes 214
Denning, Lord 8
Denver, Maryanne 105
Descartes, René 176
Diamond, Jared 23, 47–8, 59, 92, 217
Diamond, Marie 92
Diana, Princess of Wales 162
Dick for a Day
(Denver) 56, 105
Dickinson, Dr Robert Letou 14, 18
Diogenes 140
Disney, Walt 193
Dodson, Betty 51, 138
dosijinas
(phallic monuments) 66
Duncan, Sarah 211
Durex survey 19, 21, 34–5, 60
Dydley, Sir Charles 88
Edward IV 94–5
Edward VII 136
Edwardians 97
Edwards, Richard 19
eighteenth century 32, 64, 73, 100
ejaculation 211
final moments 193–4
force of 194
and learning self-control 191–3
masturbatory speed 181
premature 147–8, 152
quantity of ejaculate 194–5
spontaneous 175
Eleven Minutes
(Coelho) 212
Elizabethan period 9–10, 33, 96, 155, 163, 164, 180, 187, 191
Ellis, Havelock 69
Enki 65–6
Enlightenment 17, 69, 141
Epic of Gilgamesh 129
Equatorial Guinea 214
erectile dysfunction agents of 148
and alcohol 150, 151
and divorce 148–9
horse-riding and cycling 150–1
as humiliating 151–2
impotence 146–52, 165
infertility 151
medical reasons 149–50
premature ejaculation 147–8, 152
psychological 149, 151
treatments 152–7
women blamed for 148
Ethiopia, Ethiopians 116, 188
ethnicity 17–22
Eumenides
(Aeschylus) 72
eunuchs 120–5
The Evolution of Desire
(Buss) 46
Fairbanks, Douglas Jnr 8
Falcon, Jonah 14
Fang tribe 214
Fanny Hill
(Cleland) 14, 16, 43, 51, 58, 146–7, 199
Far East 20, 21
Fathers and Sons
(Waugh) 22
Faure, Félix 161
Fear of Flying
(Jong) 43, 55, 65
Feast of Circumcision 80, 81
Feast of Fools 80
fellatio 7, 9, 183–6, 210
feminism, feminist 3, 46, 107, 111, 136, 137–8
FHM
magazine 52, 55, 56–7, 199
Fiji 113
Filipinos 108
Finland, Finns 206
First World War 100–1, 106, 144, 203
Fitzgerald, Scott 30
Fitzgerald, Zelda 30
Flannelled Fool
(Worsley) 175
Flaubert, Gustave 182
Flowers, Gennifer 1
Flugel, John Carl 92
Flynn, Errol 39, 90
Forbidden City (Beijing) 122
Foreign Bodies
(Craig) 85–6
Foreskin’s Lament
(Auslander) 140
Forum
journal 26–7, 32
Franklin, Sydney 30
Frazer, James 124
French Revolution 81, 96, 112
French West Indies 19
Freud, Sigmund 69, 84, 86, 128, 137, 155
Frey, Julia 40
Gabor, Zsa Zsa 39
Galen 17, 64–5, 71, 72, 73, 74
Ganymede 180
Gardner, Ava 39
Gargantua and Pantagruel
(Rabelais) 115, 171, 174
Gathorne-Hardy, Jonathan 174
gender transformation 63, 163–4
Genet, Jean 173
Georgia 121
Gere, Richard 103
Germain (or Marie) (French peasant girl) 63
Germany 107, 121
Germinal
(Zola) 119
Gibson, Ian 31
Gieves & Hawkes 51
Gilbertine order 118
Gill, A.A. 52
Gill, Eric 52, 53, 89–90, 101, 153
Gilmore, David 177
The Godfather
(Puzo) 57
Godson, Suzi 114
Gogol, Nikolai 182
The Golden Bough
(Frazer) 124
Gordon, John 54, 106
gorillas 45, 47
Goto, L.T. 21
Graaf, Regnier de 74
Grable, Betty 39
Graham, Laurie 106
Graham, Robert 202–3, 214
Graham, Sylvester 142–3
Greer, Germaine 56
Grote, George 111
Guardian
newspaper 177
Guibert de Nogent 117
Hadrian, emperor 117, 162
Hair
(musical) 103
Halpern, Ralph 207
Hamilton, Emma 195
Hamilton, Sir William 82, 195
Hannay, J.B. 83
Harold, King 116
Harriott, Ainsley 20
Harris, John 88
Hasson, Oren 201
Hastings, Battle of 116
Hazlitt, William 32
Hebrews 66, 68, 116, 140
Hegeler, Inge 9, 55
Hegeler, Sten 9, 55
Hellman, Lillian 57
Heloïse 118
Hemingway, Ernest 30, 48, 148, 152–3
Hendrix, Jimmi 39–40
Henry IV Part I
(Shakespeare) 11
Henry V 81
Henry VIII 117, 146
Henry, Walter 40
Hercules 83
Hermes 66, 83
Herms (phallic monuments) 66, 111–12
Herodotus 67, 129, 179
Hickman, T. 183
Hindus 13, 66, 72–3, 76, 140, 191
Hippocrates 71, 72, 148, 150
Hirschfeld, Magnus 135
The Hite Report on Male Sexuality
(Hite) 27
Hite, Shere 27
Hitler, Adolf 167
Hodson, Phillip 59
Holles, Denzil 167
Hollinghurst, Alan 26
Holm, Ian 42
homosexuals, homosexuality 10, 18, 31, 70, 86, 118, 125, 173, 180, 188
homunculus 74
Horney, Karen 106
Hottentots 164
Howard, John 104
Hox gene 16
Hugo, Victor 207
The Human Zoo
(Morris) 84–5
Hundred Years War 116
Hungary, Hungarians 121, 207
Hunt survey (1970s) 27
Hunter, John 186
Hutchins, Reverend John 167
Hutchinson, Leslie ‘Hutch’ 131
Ibn-Saud, King of Saudi Arabia 192
Ice Storm
(Moody) 190
Iglesias, Enrique 32
in-vitro fertilisation 218
India 12, 13, 20, 108, 118, 121, 122, 124, 127, 128, 184, 187, 188, 191
Indiana University 15
Indonesia 154
Innocent III, Pope 81
Inquisition 117
Institute of Urology and Nephrology (London) 29
intercourse
see
sexual encounters
International Journal of Impotence Research
178
Internet 12, 19, 27–8, 51, 102, 103, 159, 186
Interpretation of Dreams
(Freud) 84
Intimacy
(Kureishi) 175
Intimate Behaviour
(Morris) 97
Islam 140, 148
Isle of Wight 131
Israelites 117
Italy, Italians 12
Izzard, Eddie 42
Jacobson, Howard 208
Jake’s Thing
(Amis) 151
Janowitz, Tama 51
Japan, Japanese 10, 21, 29, 51, 66, 67, 72, 105, 107, 108, 118, 166, 176, 185, 187, 207
Jefferson Medical College, Philadelphia 214
Jeremy, Ron 40
Jesus 80–1
Jews 162–3, 165, 214
Joan, Pope 78
Jobson, Richard 18
Johnson, Lyndon 90
Johnson, Samuel 89
Johnson, Virginia 15–16, 17, 29, 57, 138, 192
Jolliffe, Gray 91
Jolmes, John 40
Jones, James H. 90
Jones, Paula 43
Jong, Erica 43, 55, 65, 137
Journal of Australia
218
Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health
(2005) 164
Journal Research in Personality
19
Journal of Sexual Medicine
150, 189
Journal of Urology
36
Journal of Zoology
112
The Joy of Sex
(Comfort) 9, 23, 57–8, 183
Joyce, James 52, 60
Jupiter 180
Justine
(de Sade) 181
Juvenal 61, 123, 147
Kafka, Franz 41–2
Kafka’s Dick
(Bennett) 37–8, 42
Kagaba tribe (Colombia) 165, 213
Kama Sutra
13–14, 27, 77, 180, 187
Karamojong tribe (Uganda) 124
Keeler, Christine 7
Keeraki tribe (New Guinea) 213
Keesling, Barbara 216
Kellogg, John Harvey 142–3, 144
Kenya 162
Keuls, Eva 111
Khartoum 127
Kidman, Nicole 103
Kierkegaard, Sørenson 182
Kikuyu 162
King James Bible (1611) 11, 191
King Lear
(Shakespeare) 42
Kinsey, Alfred 14–15, 16, 17, 18, 34, 55, 58, 90, 136, 137, 177–8, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 188, 192, 194, 206, 208, 210
Kinsey Institute 20, 22, 27, 34, 37, 183
Konrad, Lorenz 54
kora
127–8
Korea, Koreans 108, 159
Kournikova, Anna 32
Kreuls, Eva 24
Kurds 129
Kureishi, Hanif 175, 179
Kyoto 67
Lactantius (Roman poet) 68
Lady Chatterley’s Lover
(Lawrence) 10, 51, 54, 130, 136
Langtry, Lillie 136
Larkin, Philip 178
Law, Jude 41
Lawrence, D.H. 10, 51, 54, 130, 136
Lawson, Mark 42
Lee, Tommy 51
Leeuwenhoek, Antonie van 74
Leo III, Pope 80
Leonardo da Vinci 1–2, 57, 64, 73, 95–6, 170, 171
Leopardi, Giacomo 209
L’Ethnologie du Sens Genitale
18
Lette, Kathy 213
Lewinsky, Monica 1, 86, 183
Liber amoris
(Hazlitt) 32–3
Liber (Roman god) 66
Liberalia festive holiday 70
libido 216–17
Libya 116, 129
The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy
(Sterne) 73
Lifestyle Condoms 32, 35–6
Lincoln, Abraham 59
lingam, cult of 76
Literary Review
magazine 211–13
Lolita
(Nabokov) 33
London 206
Long Dong Silver 30
Louis XIII 174
Louis XVI 144
Lovelace, Linda 184
Lowry, Malcolm 33
Luo tribe (Kenya) 162
Lysistrata
(Aristophanes) 139
Macbeth
(Shakespeare) 150
McGregor, Ewan 17, 91
McInerney, Jay 196
McLynn, Frank 40–1
Macmillan, Harold 7, 8
Mailer, Norman 191, 211
Malaya 108
Malaysia 127
The Male Body
(Bordo) 56
Malleus Maleficarum
126
Mandingo tribe 18
The Manipulated Man
(Vilar) 51
Mansfield, Jayne 39
Margaret, Princess 173
Margulis, Lynn 47
Marie Antoinette 144
Marie (or Germain) (French peasant girl) 63
Marks & Spencer 99
Marlborough School 175
Martial (Marcus Martialis) 24
Masters, William 15–16, 17, 29, 57, 138, 174, 192, 208
masturbation (or spermatorrhoea)
