Going Home (15 page)

Things were quiet for several days. Then late one evening, when I was finishing my work, I realized I needed more rags to clean my brushes and wipe up. So I headed toward the church to find Sister Tomasina. Around the back I bumped into Anita, Marta, and Gladys. They looked very startled, and turned away from me, acting real nervous. Then as I went inside I heard them giggling. There was something weird about their being together like that so secretively. It gave me the creeps. I found Sister, who gave me some rags, and rushed back, thinking maybe I could do a little more work before I left. But I looked inside the paint cans and couldn't believe it! There was no paint left. I looked inside every single can, six cans in all, and each one was empty. I looked around. Saida was nowhere in sight, Danny was working with Ismael on a large cardboard cutout, and the kids who had been rehearsing near the main building were gone. I just stood there not believing what I'd seen. Finally I ran over to the boys. “Danny, Ismael, the paint's gone! Come quick. There's no more paint in the cans. Look!”

They both followed me back. “Hey, look!” said Danny. “You're right. What happened?”

“That's what I'd like to know. Did you two see anything?” I asked. They both shook their heads, and when Saida came back, she also said she'd seen nothing.

“We'd better go inside and tell the sisters what's happened,” said Danny.

“I bet I know what happened,” I said. “I just saw Anita, Marta, and Gladys out back and they were acting real strange.”

“Do you think they took the paint, Felita?” asked Saida.

“Definitely.”

“Wait a minute.” Ismael cut me off. “How do you know it was them that took it? Did you see them? Did anybody here see them? No, right?” It was true none of us had seen them nearby. Still, I was sure it had been them.

“Maybe we didn't see them,” I said, “but they've been bugging me and trying to make trouble. I don't know anybody else who would do this. I just think they're out to mess things up.”

“Just because you're fighting with them and can't get along with people here, don't mean that they did it,” said Ismael. “You better be careful what you say, Felita. You can't be accusing people unless you got some proof. After all, they've been coming to the youth center a lot longer than you.”

“I'm not the one that started it and I'm not the one fighting with them. You've all seen how they're always coming around trying to bother me and calling me names.”

“You just better have proof, Felita, that's all I'm saying. I was here and I didn't see Anita, Marta, or Gladys anywhere around. And neither did anybody else.” When I saw the smirk on Ismael's face, I didn't trust him either. But I also didn't feel so sure anymore about accusing Anita and Marta without proof. I didn't like it; in fact I was pretty angry, but I kept quiet and we all followed Ismael inside to tell the adults what had happened.

A few minutes later Father Gabriel, Sister Pilar, Sister Tomasina, Brother Osvaldo, and the rest of us searched all over the place to see if the paint had been spilled somewhere. But we didn't find any paint, not a single drop! I kept explaining that I hadn't used up the paints and Saida and Danny backed me up.

“This is terrible, just terrible!” said Sister Pilar. “We are so short of money. Those cans were a donation from the Fernandez hardware store. Now we have to get more.” She looked at me and Danny. “How much more work do we have left?”

“We're a little less than halfway done,” I said.

“And it's looking so nice too,” Sister Tomasina said.

“Why would anyone want to spill out or take the paints? Are you sure those cans were not empty before?” Father asked again, looking directly at me.

“Of course I'm sure!” Now I was really getting angry. I was real tempted to say what I saw and what I thought was the truth, and I kept hoping that Danny and Saida might back me up. I looked at them, but they didn't say anything. Ismael was acting real calm and cool. He was the first one to speak out.

“I was right here working all the time and I didn't see anybody.”

“I did go to the bathroom,” Danny said, “but I came right back.”

“I didn't see anyone either. I just went to wash up after I finished my work,” said Saida.

“That's it for today, kids,” Father Gabriel said. “We'll hope to have the paint for you by the time you come back to work. In the meantime we'll ask around, search some more, and try to get to the bottom of this. Six cans half full of paint do not evaporate by themselves!”

At home that evening I told Tio what happened and he listened quietly as he always did.

“Tio, I know it's them. When I saw Anita and Marta laughing and all secretive, I had this creepy feeling that something was wrong.”

“But if they took the paint, they would be hurting their own church and the play, in fact the whole carnival! And that's very stupid. Don't you think so?”

“I know. That shows how much they hate me. I mean I was willing to forget all that happened and be friends, but no, not them. They just have a grudge against me.”

“Listen”—Tio Jorge paused—“I don't think they hate you. They just resent you, Felita, because you are an outsider. In that way this place has not changed much. People around here don't like or trust strangers, especially city people. Another thing, you just joined the center and already you are making stage sets and are practically in charge of the scenery. They must resent that too.”

“Well, I'd still like to tell Father about what I saw and what I think.”

“Never mind, Felita, I think you were right not to say anything, because like Ismael said, you have no proof. If you accused them, it would just be your word against theirs. There are three of them and only one of you, and they have been here longer than you. Besides, they're getting more paint, and you will be able to finish the sets. You'll see, I'm sure they won't bother you again. Forget about it, Felita, just make some great sets and then these girls will turn ugly and green with envy.”

 

That night I couldn't sleep. It had been a while since I had felt this bad. The idea that someone might want to hurt me so badly that they would try to mess outsider in her own village? If it weren't for Provi, I'd really be miserable.

“Abuelita, this is not the Puerto Rico you promised me! What have you got to say to me now?” up the sets sent a sharp ache right through my insides. Why wouldn't those girls get off my back? I was tired of defending myself here, just like I was tired of defending myself back home when I was in a white neighborhood and they called me names too. It all felt wrong. It wasn't fair. As I lay in my bed suddenly I had this feeling that I was in the middle of nowhere.

I thought of home. If I were there now, I'd be going to Jones Beach, Coney Island, or maybe to the Bronx Zoo. I'd be hanging out a lot. I'd go to street fairs, block parties, and to the free concerts in the park. There were all kinds of great things to do. I know Mami would let me stay overnight at Gigi's more often now that I was older. And when I thought of Vinny, I got this great warm feeling all over my body. I remembered the last time he kissed me when we were sitting in that little park after school and my heart started pounding away. I prayed he'd answer my letter real soon. All of a sudden I missed everybody so much—the kids on my block, even little Joanie. I wanted to go home, where I belonged. I didn't fit in here.

My abuelita had always said how wonderful Puerto Rico was and how I should be proud of being Puerto Rican. Tonight for the first time I had the feeling it was nothing but a pack of lies. Why didn't she tell me how I was gonna be made to feel like an the thing—Ismael was Gladys's boyfriend, and when they wanted to be together, she kept asking me to lie for her. You know, to say she was with me when she was really meeting him. I said no, no way was I gonna be caught and punished for lying. Gladys called me a baby and said I wasn't her good friend anymore.”

“Wow! Is Gladys still going with him?”

“No, not anymore. Listen to what happened. Anita took Ismael away from Gladys and he became her boyfriend. When that happened, Gladys came back trying to be my friend again. We made up, but we never became good friends like before. Then Gladys starts hanging around with Anita to be near Ismael because she still likes him and everybody knows it.”

“Is Ismael still Anita's boyfriend?”

“I'm sure of it. But you see, Felita, around here the girls are real secretive about having boyfriends because if your parents find out, you never, ever get to see the boy you like. Plus you are watched every minute! It's almost like being in jail.”

“What a mess! But, you know something, that's a lot like what happens to us girls back home.” I told Provi about how my mother used to guard me and about all Mami's speeches.

“Well, nothing that you've said so far, Felita, makes it sound as strict as it is here. In fact your mother seems to me like she's way more lenient than the mothers here.”

When me and Provi discussed what happened, she agreed that Anita and her gang had taken the paint. “I'm sure it was them,” said Provi. “They're in back of this whole business.”

“Right, but we can't prove it!”

“That Gladys,” she said. “What a fink! I can't believe we used to be so tight. But I think Ismael might be mixed up in this too.”

“You do?”

“Yes. When Gladys and me were friends and”—Provi blushed and looked away—“she got her period, her mother became real strict with her. She had to know where Gladys was every minute. Now here's “I guess that's true.” All of a sudden I felt lucky compared to Provi. For the first time I realized that maybe Mami wasn't so bad after all.

“You know what I'm thinking, Felita? If Ismael is still Anita's boyfriend, which I'm sure is the case, that's why he defended them and is on their side.”

“Well, like Tio Jorge said, we are getting more paint and I'm gonna finish my sets, so they went through all that trouble for nothing.”

 

When we all got back to work the next day, we saw there were five quarts of paint, the same colors as before, as well as a gallon of white.

“We couldn't get as much paint,” Brother Osvaldo said, “so stretch it as best as you can. And there's something else—one of you four kids is to be here at all times. If one of you has to leave and no one is around, come inside and we'll get someone out here right away. We have to guard this place. I'm sorry to say we haven't found out much. But until we do, we are going to be very careful and watchful. Understand?”

By this time there was only one week left before the carnival. We had a lot to do and everyone was getting excited. I was assigned a part in the play as a Taino woman. I didn't have any of my own lines. At the end I was supposed to recite some lines with the whole group on stage. I wasn't really nervous because I figured there was a bunch of us speaking together and so if I forgot my lines, it wouldn't matter much.

Tio Jorge called our relatives in San Juan and invited them to come to the play. Now that I knew my whole family in Puerto Rico would be there, I was fussier than ever about the sets.

Danny and Saida were good about doing what I told them to do, but Ismael was still giving me a hard time. We had it out when I asked him to paint a dark green outline on the palm leaves, so they would look more real. Ismael refused.

“I got more important work to do for Danny.” I went over to check with Danny, who said that Ismael could work with me.

I asked Ismael again. “Get lost!” he said. That's all I had to hear! It was bad enough Ismael had probably helped Anita and them take our paint, but there was no way he was going to get away with not doing his work!

I stood right in front of him with a brush and a bucket. “Now, you stop it, Ismael, and help me right now!” I was shouting so loud, I figured the whole courtyard could hear me. Ismael jumped back. “What's more important to you anyway? Giving me a hard time, or getting this scenery done right? I'm in charge here, Danny and Saida know it, and you damn well know it too!”

Ismael just stared at me like he couldn't believe what I was doing or saying. “Now, I can't do this job all by myself, so here!” I handed him the brush and bucket. “Take it!” For a moment he didn't move, but then he reached over, took what I gave him, and went right to work. Now that everybody was working at full speed, I was sure our sets were gonna turn out perfect.

 

Two days before the big event, we worked on the last details of the set. It all looked very wonderful. There was now a whole Taino village on stage, with farm animals, and yucca and corn growing in the fields. In the background Tainos were playing an ancient ballgame and behind them was the shoreline and the sea beyond it. We had used every last drop of paint.

“It looks so real—the Taino people and the village,” Mrs. Quintero, the woman in charge of the costumes, called out. She even got up on stage to examine the paintings. “Wonderful!”

“Great job you all did!” Judy and Irene waved to us as they walked by with a bunch of other kids.

That evening everyone was in a wonderful mood. Father Gabriel spoke to all the kids at the center. “We should be pleased and very proud of what we have accomplished. I want to compliment and congratulate all the people who worked on the scenery. Felita, who just came to us this summer, has worked very hard and done a great job and so have all the others who helped.” Danny, Saida, Ismael, and me looked at each other, feeling like close buddies, knowing how we had all finally cooperated.