Going Home (22 page)

‘Perhaps we could ride to Hedon and then follow the Haven down to Paull,’ suggested Amelia, for whom the thought of a morning alone with Jack, apart from the groom, was already being anticipated with such pleasure and apprehension that she felt quite giddy.

‘Ask Cook for a little cold chicken and a drink to take with you, Amelia. It is quite a long way, but you will enjoy it.’ Her mother turned to Jack. ‘You will see the ships en route for Spurn and although Paull is not the port it was, it is still an interesting place, and you may see the shrimpers there,’ she added. ‘You could buy some, Amelia,’ her face brightened, ‘and bring them home. I used to love the shrimps from Paull when I was a girl.’

‘Mother spent her childhood by the river,’ Amelia explained as they got under way. ‘She
becomes very nostalgic when she talks about the Humber. Uncle Sam taught her how to fish and to row a boat.’

‘Mrs Linton is a very unusual lady, Miss Amelia.’ Jack walked with a long stride alongside her horse. ‘She appears to adapt to any circumstance in life.’

‘Yes,’ Amelia agreed. ‘She does. She has had an unusual life. But,’ she hesitated. ‘Surely, you too have had to adapt to a different situation from the one which your father and grandfather had?’

‘Different from theirs, yes,’ he said. ‘But I have known no other. From the time I was born, my life has been spent on a sheep station. My father and Ralph’s father had agreed their partnership long before I was born. I am not a typical Aborigine.’

He looked up at her and she felt herself grow pink. ‘I have a settled existence, I have wealth and there are very few of my race who can say that. Most are poor, many are in ill health and even those with some education are not accepted by the white race, any more than I am,’ he added, and as she looked down at his dark eyes, she wondered if there was some kind of caution or hint in his words, that she should beware.

‘But that does not appear to worry you,’ she said lightly. ‘If you have all that you want or need, you do not require society’s good opinion?’

‘I still have to live in the world, Miss Amelia. I still have to brush shoulders with my fellow man. I have white blood within me. I need the companionship of others.’

They travelled in silence for a while and then spoke of popular topics, and Amelia pointed out various landmarks and farms which were scattered intermittently in the empty undulating landscape. Eventually they reached the market town of Hedon. Amelia looked straight ahead as she saw shoppers and pedestrians turn to watch their progress. She heard the shouts of small boys to come and look at the black man, and old women stopped in their tracks to gape and point.

‘How do you abide it?’ she burst out as they took the grassy track by the muddy waters of the Haven which trickled towards the Humber. ‘People are so rude to stare.’

He put his hand up to hers as she held the reins and she gave an involuntary start. ‘It is nothing,’ he said softly. ‘Do not disturb yourself on my account.’

‘Miss Linton!’ Briggs called from behind where he had been following them. ‘Allow me to go in front. It gets very wet along here. It’s very low-lying.’

She paused to let Briggs go by and then asked Jack if he wouldn’t like to ride the spare mount. ‘Very well,’ he smiled. ‘I will, and then we can travel on an equal level and you won’t have to look down on me.’

‘I would never do that,’ she said softly, and waited as he mounted. ‘You are more than my equal.’

He turned to look at her. His eyes were deep and impenetrable and she felt her heart hammering so loud in her breast that she was sure he would hear it.

She followed behind Briggs on the narrow path and Jack followed behind her, and she was disturbingly conscious all the way that his eyes were riveted upon her, infiltrating into her secret self.

When they arrived in the village of Paull the wind was blowing gustily and Amelia gathered her riding cloak closer about her. They dismounted and Briggs asked if he might light a pipe of tobacco if they found a sheltered spot. Amelia suggested that he take the horses to the tavern yard and that he should have a glass of ale. ‘Mr Mungo and I will walk by the river and then join you there. It is too cold after all to sit for a picnic.’

Jack gave a shiver as they walked by the bank. ‘This is your summer,’ he complained, offering his arm. ‘How cold is it in winter?’

‘Much colder than this.’ She put her hand lightly on his arm. I feel quite reckless, she mused. I would not expect or desire this familiarity from an Englishman on so short an acquaintance. Goodness, am I conventional after all? And yet I cannot be, she further meditated, for I like the sensation of his arm next to mine. I
do believe I am in the midst of a forbidden romance, and I thought that romance of any kind would never come to me.

There were ships on the river heading towards the open sea, and tugs and coggy boats, and Amelia realized that Jack had been talking as she had been inwardly defining her emotions.

‘The harbour at Sydney is full of ships from all over the world,’ he was saying. ‘So many that they are uncountable, and yet less than one hundred years ago the Cove had only soft white sand and streams running down to it, with the bush beyond, and the only inhabitants were the Aborigines.’

They continued on round a slight bend in the path and Jack turned to her, slowing her footsteps. ‘Can you imagine how those inhabitants must have felt when they saw those great ships and the strange white people on their shore?’

‘No, I cannot. Except that I think they must have been fearful as well as curious.’ He was close to her and she was very aware of his presence, of his strength, his high cheekbones, heavy eyebrows and full generous mouth which now smiled gently at her. ‘They cannot have known what to expect,’ she murmured, conscious of her bated breath, the pulse hammering in her ears and the melting of her bones.

He bent towards her and placed his lips on hers. They were warm and soft and fitted her
own parted lips as if they were meant to. He drew his hands down her cheeks – his touch was gentle and she didn’t draw away as she knew that she should.

‘Forgive me,’ he said softly. ‘But I could not help myself. You remind me of a flower in bud about to open.’

It is true, she reflected. I have been awakened as if from a deep sleep. I have not been aware of myself or of what is around me. Suddenly her physical senses seemed heightened. The sky was brighter, the waters of the river glistened and she could smell the salt of the sea. The shrieking of gulls as they flew low over the river piped in her ears and the breeze caught and tangled her hair. Everything told her of an intoxication, the arousing of passion, hitherto unknown to her.

He kissed her again and then drew away. ‘I should not have done that, Miss Amelia.’ He took hold of her hand and stroked her fingers. ‘I forgot that in England such a gesture would be misconstrued.’

She gazed at him. ‘You mean’, she said huskily, ‘that a woman would consider it as a commitment of intent? Is it not so in Australia?’

‘Perhaps with the English community,’ he said softly. ‘With my race we are more affectionate, more able to show our feelings without a sense of obligation.’

He continued to look intensely at her and she swallowed hard. Was he saying that the kiss
meant nothing? Just an impetuous kiss, not a deep-felt desire?

‘But you have English blood. Are your English feelings subdued when it comes to the matter of affection?’

‘I am a man of appetite, Miss Amelia.’ He touched a wisp of her hair. ‘I can be reckless when I am in the presence of an alluring comely woman. I do not practise caution and then live with the regret that I missed the pleasure of treading on enchanted ground.’

She gave a sudden laugh at his extravagant words. ‘You are bold, Mr Mungo! You have taken advantage of me. I should be running screaming for Briggs at your audacity.’

‘No,’ he said solemnly. ‘If I had thought that you didn’t want the kiss as much as I did, then I shouldn’t have given it. But I knew that your desire was as strong as mine.’

She could not deny it, but she was confused. Did he bestow his kisses on all females who were attractive to him? ‘I fear that you would not make a faithful husband,’ she murmured.

‘With the right wife, I would be, but there will be many considerations to be resolved before I take a wife.’

‘And those are?’

He took her arm and they started to walk slowly back the way they had come. In the distance she could see Briggs sitting on a bench outside the inn.

‘I must decide in which direction my life will take me. Is it with my native brothers or in the half-life between black and white?’ He looked directly at her. ‘If it is the latter then I shall need a strong determined woman to share that life, and all of its difficulties, with me.’

AMELIA HAD PROMISED
Jack during their journey home from Paull that she would take him to the town of Hull. He had expressed an interest in seeing the docks after she had described the ships which came from all over Europe. ‘The port will not compete with the harbour at Sydney, I don’t suppose,’ she said, ‘there is no fine beach or white sand, but Hull is a busy town and even though the whaling trade has come to an end, the seagoing trade is second to none.’

She was not familiar with all the streets of Hull, but made several visits a year for shopping or the theatre and the whole family always went to the annual fair which came in October. Ralph had agreed that he too would like to visit the town and her sister May said that she would come as she wanted to buy some new ribbons for a hat she was making.

However, on the day before they had arranged to go, Jack went down with a heavy cold and took to his bed. He sent a message down with
Ralph the next morning insisting that they went without him as the carriage was free that day, not being needed for anyone else. May was in two minds whether or not to go; her prime object in the outing was to be seen with the handsome, exotic Aborigine and boast to her friends of him.

‘Oh, do come, May,’ Amelia’ persuaded. ‘There are several things which Mama needs, and you said you needed ribbons and I might not choose the right colour.’

‘But Cousin Ralph is not so interesting as Mr Mungo,’ May whispered. ‘Mr Mungo pays such compliments and Ralph does not, I don’t think he even notices what I’m wearing.’

Amelia raised her eyebrows. ‘And what compliments has Mr Mungo paid you?’ she asked.

May simpered. ‘Only the other day, he came in from the garden with a rose in his hand and presented it to me,’ she said, ‘I was just coming down the stairs as he came through the door and he bowed so charmingly and said, “Miss May, a rose for a rose”.’

‘Really!’ said Amelia. ‘How delightful! And now I suppose you wish to stay behind to mop his brow?’

May opened her mouth to reply, but Amelia butted in briskly, ‘Well Mama won’t allow it, silly girl, so you had better come with us.’

She too was disappointed that Jack couldn’t come and although she didn’t always choose to be in the company of her artless sister, neither
was she enamoured of the idea of being alone with Ralph, who had been rather morose and lacking in conversation of late.

He apologized though, as they drove, for his lack of attention. ‘I have much on my mind, cousin,’ he said. ‘This business of Scott tends to distract me from other concerns.’

Amelia inclined her head. ‘I do understand,’ she murmured. ‘It must be difficult.’

‘I doubt that you do understand,’ he replied and she looked at him sharply: he had said that once before. Did he think that she was unsympathetic?

‘I doubt if anyone could unless they had been in similar circumstances themselves.’ He seemed oblivious to the effect his words had upon her. ‘Your father has been a great source of strength to me in his advice as to procedure, but even he admits that it is not a predicament in which he would care to find himself.’

Amelia was stung to the quick. ‘It does not necessarily follow that because someone hasn’t experienced such an ordeal, their sympathies cannot be extended or their understanding is of no value!’

Ralph sighed. ‘I’m sorry. You misunderstand me. I merely meant that unless someone has been through this situation themselves, they cannot possibly advise on what is the best to be done.’

‘Indeed not,’ Amelia said coldly. ‘I would not under any circumstance choose to advise you,
cousin. I’m quite sure you are perfectly capable of making any decision on your own.’

He gave her a questioning glance. His eyes were very blue, fringed by dark lashes although he was fair-haired. ‘Yes,’ he said evenly. ‘I started this undertaking and now I must finish it one way or another.’

Amelia’s mood was rather deflated after their conversation and she was short with May, who dithered over her purchases and professed no interest in looking at the ships in the dock.

‘May!’ Amelia said abruptly. ‘Suppose Cousin Ralph and I go and look at the ships and you wait for us in the coffee shop? Will you be all right on your own?’

‘Oh, look over there,’ May interrupted. ‘There’s Clarissa and her mother, I’ll go and have a word. Yes,’ she called as she hurried across the street, bent on catching her friend. ‘I’ll see you at Fieldings coffee shop at two o’clock.’

Amelia turned to Ralph. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she began.

He gave a sudden laugh. ‘We seem to be spending the morning apologizing to each other, Amelia. Suppose we start afresh? I will do my best to rid myself of this shadow hanging over me, at least for today.’

‘And I will try to be more sociable,’ she agreed, ‘and show you the sights of this merry town.’

And so they became a little more comfortable
with each other and Amelia led him down Nelson Street towards Victoria Pier where passengers gathered to catch the ferry across to Lincolnshire. They stepped over the long coils of rope which ran down the streets near the ropery, then walked back across the narrow town streets to the Queen’s Dock, once the largest dock in England, which was crowded with steamers and ships laden with timber and other goods for trade.

She showed him the Market Place and the Holy Trinity church and the handsome triple-domed building which housed the Dock Company, and he stood by the statue of Hull’s famous son William Wilberforce, and was delighted to see a man on a velocipede riding over the Junction Bridge towards the busy street of Whitefriargate.