Going Under (10 page)

I watched his eyes soften and the hint of a
smile play on his mouth.

“Five years.”

“Holy shit, Dad! Five years?!”

“Brooklyn, must the whole restaurant
know?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just, wow. Five years.
Yikes.” I sipped my Coke, eyes wide, eyebrows raised in
disbelief.

“Will you wipe that look off your face?” he
asked. “There’s no one out there. What do you want from me? And
anyway, I’m your father. We shouldn’t be discussing this.”

“What does being my father have to do with
it?” I asked. “Now my English teacher is single. And she’s cute.” I
bit into my calzone and continued with my mouth full. “And
surprisingly not an idiot.”

“Are most of your teachers idiots?”

“Yes.”

Dad chuckled. “Glad to know my tax dollars
contribute to well-deserved salaries.”

“Oh, Dad,” I said airily. “Let’s not get all
political. Let’s talk about Ms. Manning.”

“Let’s not,” Dad replied.

I ignored him. “She’s in her early forties,
I think, but she totally looks like she’s in her thirties. Nice
skin and hair. She always looks really professional. Dresses to the
nines. Her shoes are fabulous.”

“Brooke . . .”

“And she’s an avid runner. She told me she
runs about four miles a day and tries to do a long run of about ten
miles every Saturday,” I continued.

“Brooke, please.”

“And she’s competing in her first
half-marathon this November.”

“Brooke!” Dad interrupted. “I’ve got a gut,
okay? I’m not dating a runner.”

I pursed my lips and watched Dad run his
hand through his chestnut hair.

“Dad, you barely have a gut. And you’re
really handsome. It’s time you get back out there on the field,” I
said.

Dad burst out laughing.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing,” Dad snorted. “I just love the way
you compliment me, that’s all.”

I grinned. “Well, it’s true. It’s barely
there,” I laughed. “Go date Ms. Manning and start running with her,
and it’ll be gone in a week. Jeez, it’s so unfair. Men can lose
weight like that!” I said, snapping my fingers.

“Oh, no they can’t,” Dad argued.

“Well, whatever. Will you just promise me
that you’ll keep an open mind and start looking?” I should have
left it right there, but I couldn’t. “Mom’s gone.”

“Hmm,” Dad replied. He rubbed his forehead
and looked at me. “Kind of like how Beth’s gone.”

I tensed. “What are you saying?”

“Honey, you don’t do anything but go to
school and work and hang out with Gretchen. I’m not blind.”

“As a matter of fact, I’m going to a party
tonight.”

Dad’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh really? Where is
it and who’s throwing it?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Some rich guy whose
parents are gone for the weekend.” I winked at him.

“Very funny, Brooke,” Dad replied. “Where is
it and who’s throwing it?”

I sighed. “Gretchen’s friend, Olivia. It’s
totally cool. I mean, I’m sure some people will bring alcohol, but
Dad. Come on. You know me.”

Actually, Dad didn’t know me at all, and I
thought he’d say it out loud. But that would have embarrassed the
both of us, so he opted for something else.

“And what if the party gets busted by the
cops and you’re arrested for being there with alcohol?”

“They wouldn’t arrest me, Dad. They’d just
call you.”

“Oh really? You know this from past
experience? And anyway, you’re eighteen. Legally an adult. They
wouldn’t call me to pick you up.”

I huffed. “Dad.”

“Brooke.”

We stared at each other for a few
seconds.

“I’m not letting Gretchen go to this party
by herself,” I said.

“Any particular reason why?”

“Um, yeah. Have you met Gretchen? She’s
ridiculous,” I explained.

Dad laughed. “Fine, but she’s not drinking
either.”

“Dad, she doesn’t touch the stuff. Empty
calories,” I said, finishing off my calzone. I eyed Dad’s second
slice of pizza.

“Don’t even think about it,” he said,
picking up the slice and taking a huge chunk out of it.

I considered him while he ate. “You think we
should have done this a few years ago?”

“Done what?” he asked with his mouth
full.

“Lived together.”

Dad swallowed. It sounded like it hurt on
the way down. “You weren’t happy with your mom?”

“No, I’m not saying that. It’s just, why is
it usually the mom who gets the kids?”

Dad stared at me.

“I mean, why didn’t I have a choice?”

“Did you want to live with me?” he asked
tentatively.

“I don’t know. It could have been fun,” I
said.

Dad stared at his plate. I felt an
overwhelming need to hug him, but thought it was the wrong
time.

“Well, I guess we’ve gotta make up for lost
time,” I said.

Dad looked at me and grinned. “Don’t you
dare come home drunk, young lady.”

“Never.”

***

“I’m totally excited!” Gretchen squealed as
we walked, arms linked, up the sidewalk to Tanner’s house.

Yes, I felt guilty for lying to my dad. It
wasn’t Olivia’s house. There’s no Olivia anyway. But I thought it
would sound better if the party were being thrown by a girl and not
an immature boy. Tanner was just that. An annoying, loud,
overbearing football player from my old high school who insisted on
being popular whether people wanted him to or not. I think he was
only accepted into the club because he had parents who traveled a
lot, thus opening his house to the most over-the-top,
alcohol-infused, sex-crazed parties in the city. It amazed me that
not one of them had ever been busted by the cops.

“What’s there to be excited about?” I asked.
“These parties are obnoxious.”

“Whatever, Brooke. You loved them last
year.”

“Yeah, that was last year,” I said. “God, I
don’t want to run into anyone I know.”

We pushed through the front door and nearly
toppled onto Stephanie.

“Oh my God!” she screamed, throwing her arms
around my neck and choking me.

“Steph.” I know I sounded less than
enthusiastic, but I just couldn’t pretend anymore.

“I was so hoping you’d come tonight!” she
replied, pulling away and looking me up and down. “You look so
pretty!”

I did look pretty. I wore dark blue skinny
jeans with a gray sequins top and alligator pumps. My very first
pair of closed-toe heels. I bought them immediately after Beth’s
funeral, and I made sure there was nothing sad about them. Not a
hint of black. They were purple instead. I wore my hair in a messy
chignon at the nape of my neck to show off my mother’s wedding
earrings—the diamond studs. I felt confident and sexy.

“Thanks. I love your dress,” I replied.
“It’s really cute.”

Stephanie looked down at her outfit. “I
know, right?!” She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the living
room. “Look who’s here, everyone!”

“No no,” I said, shaking my head and tearing
my hand out of hers. “No one needs to know.”

I smiled nervously and looked around.
Thankfully no one heard Stephanie or they didn’t care. The music
was turned up to the max, and half the partiers were already
wasted. There was an uneasy energy bouncing about the room, like a
huge fight would break out at any moment. I didn’t like it, or
rather my spirit didn’t like it. I could tell because my heart
fluttered and thumped, and not to the beat of the song.

I turned around assuming Gretchen had
followed me into the living room. I assumed wrong.

Shit. Why didn’t I grab her hand when
Stephanie pulled me along?

I maneuvered through the dancers, cursing
when I felt a foot land squarely on the top of my purple pump, and
squeezed into the kitchen. It was the busiest room in the house.
Naturally. Liquor bottles and various juices lined the countertops
and crowded all the space on the island. The refrigerator door hung
open. Guys vied for the imported beers over domestic ones. That’s
the kind of party this was.

I scanned the group for Gretchen but
couldn’t locate her. I tried not to panic. We had only just
arrived. I doubted anything lascivious could have happened to her
in ten minutes.

I pushed through the crammed kitchen to an
equally crammed hallway. Cal was walking my way.

“Hey, Brooke!” he called as he
approached.

I knew to expect him here, but I still
jumped. I hoped he couldn’t see.

“Hi,” I said.

He backed me against the wall to make room
for a few girls rushing by, squealing about how badly they needed
to pee. Apparently we were in the way.

“You look really nice tonight,” he said
raking my body with his eyes. He kept them lowered once he got to
my feet. “Sexy shoes!”

What guy says that? What guy compliments a
girl’s shoes at all?

“Thanks?” I knew it came out as a question.
I meant for it to.

He chuckled. “What? I can’t have good
fashion sense?”

“I don’t know,” I replied, grinning. I
looked down at my shoes. “They
are
sexy, huh?”

“Very,” he replied, and leaned in to kiss my
cheek. I could smell the alcohol on him. “Is that okay?”

It was most certainly
not
okay. Who
the hell did this guy think he was? So what that I was going to let
him do me. That wasn’t happening tonight, not when I didn’t know
him. Fucking get to know me first before you act so insolently.

I nodded, cocking my head and twirling my
stud.

“So, you know Tanner?” Cal asked.

I debated how much to tell him. I didn’t
think he knew I went to school with Tanner last year, but then
again, why would I be here? Why was
he
here for that
matter?

“Do you?” I asked.

He looked at me strangely, then shook his
head. “No. But Parker does.”

I remained stoic although I screamed inside.
Great! Just great! I already had the creeps about that guy, and now
he had a connection to my past. I did not want any of them
discovering my ties with Beth. It would ruin everything.

“Who’s Parker?” I asked. “You say his name
like I know who he is.”

“Oh, right. I forgot you’re new to the
school,” Cal replied. “Parker’s my best friend. He’s on the swim
team with me. Everyone at school knows him.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of people,” I said.

“No easy job being popular, that’s for
sure.”

I wanted to throw up.

“Anyway, you never answered my question,”
Cal said. “Do you know Tanner?”

I opened my mouth to tell a big, fat
see-through lie, when Stephanie stumbled my way.

“Oh my God! Where did you go?!” she
screamed, teetering on her four-inch strappy sandals while holding
up a plastic red cup.

“Here, I’ll take that,” I said, plucking the
cup from her hand before she could protest.

She bumped into Cal and mumbled a
halfhearted apology.

“Let’s go dance!” Stephanie screamed. “Like
old times!”

“Old times?” Cal asked. Again, he looked at
me oddly.

“She’s a friend from a long time ago,” I
explained. “And she’s drunk.”

“You bet your ass I’m drunk,” Stephanie
said. “I’m soooo drunk!”

“And I’m soooo taking you to the bathroom
right now,” I replied, handing the half-empty cup to Cal and
excusing myself.

“Come find me later!” he called.

Yeah, I’ll get right on that.
Then I
immediately shook my head.
No, Brooke. You need to find him
later. You’re supposed to be pursuing him, remember? Stop thinking
like a bitch and start thinking like an assassin!

“Brookey, we miss you!” Stephanie said,
clinging to me while I helped her through the bathroom door.

“Try to make yourself throw up,” I said.
“And don’t come out of this bathroom until I get back. I’m going to
find Gretchen.”

“I know where she’s is,” Stephanie
slurred.

“Where?”

“In the basement shatting with some cute
guy.”

I burst out laughing. “‘Shatting’? She’s
‘shatting’ with a cute guy? Do you know how revolting that is?”

Stephanie furrowed her brows. “I don’t get
it.”

“Never mind,” I said, and headed out the
door. After tonight, no more playing mother to my drunk friends.
They were all grounded. I could do that after all. I was the
mother.

I forced my way into the basement, half
listening to a handful of girls spit insults at me for shoving them
aside. When I spotted Gretchen, my heart dropped to my feet. She
was standing in the corner with Parker. My instinct was to run and
jump on him, sink my claws into him and draw blood. Maybe make him
bleed out. Instead, I hurried over to my friend and addressed her
cheerfully, trying hard to mask my fear.

“There you are!”

Parker turned around and looked at me. He
was clearly annoyed. I interrupted his game.

“Brookey!” Gretchen cried. “Oh my God. I’ve
so been looking all over for you!”

“Have you?” I asked. I couldn’t hide the
sarcasm, even at the risk of Parker hearing.

“This is Parker,” Gretchen said, ignoring my
question. “He’s on the swim team at your school.”

“Hi,” I said.

He nodded. “How do you two know each
other?”

“We’re best friends!” Gretchen said.
“Brookey used to—”

“Hey Gretchen, I think we need to go check
on Stephanie,” I interrupted. “She’s puking her guts out
upstairs.”

“Gross,” Gretchen replied. “Why don’t you go
deal with her? She drives me crazy.”

“She’s asking for you,” I said, tugging on
Gretchen’s arm.

“Hey, let Gretchen stay,” Parker said. He
pushed my hand away. “We’re getting to know each other.”

I wanted to strangle him. How dare he push
my hand away! Another insolent bastard. Was that a personality
requirement to get on the swim team?

“Maybe some other time,” I said.

“No,” Parker replied. “Maybe now.”

We stood staring at each other. I learned
everything I needed to know about him in the few moments we locked
eyes. He always got his way, and he considered himself superior to
everyone. The problem was that he underestimated me. And that was a
mistake.