Going Under (18 page)

I especially loved the ones who ran me to
death and then stiffed me. They usually had me going to the kitchen
at least ten times throughout the course of their meals needing a
refill when their drinks were three-quarters of the way full.
Needing dipping sauces when their meals didn’t come with them.
Needing a fresh salad because they found one wilted lettuce leaf.
And if I didn’t hover over them, they’d complain of being
forgotten, and so would undoubtedly “forget” to leave a tip.

“I’ve got an open table,” I told Kimberly,
watching Ryan hover about the bar area. “Just put him with me.”

“But yours is a four top,” she argued.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said.

“It does matter. I’ve got to seat a family
with you. They can’t sit at the bar.”

“Kimberly,” I said patiently. “Seat him with
me. Now.”

“Whatever. It’s your tip,” she said, and
showed Ryan to my table.

I approached him after counting to twenty. I
didn’t want to seem too eager.

“Hi,” I said. I felt bright and bubbly and
on top of the world.

“Hello.”

I placed my hand on my hip and popped it
out. “Come here often?” I couldn’t resist.

“Once. The waitress was cute, but she’s got
nothing on you,” Ryan said.

Damn right she doesn’t. I went Edie Sedgwick
for you, buddy.

“God, you look gorgeous,” he said.

Oh, those heart flutters. I wanted to feel
those heart flutters forever.

“I’m in an ugly uniform,” I said, looking
down at my outfit. I smoothed my apron on my stomach.

“Not ugly at all. Sexy more like.”

I blushed, and this time he saw. I couldn’t
conceal it under the glare of the restaurant lights.

“Hungry?” I asked, and pulled out my order
pad.

“What would you recommend?”

“Honestly? I’ve only eaten the turkey
sandwich. It was all right,” I confessed.

“Don’t you get to eat for free?” Ryan
asked.

“Are you kidding? A little bit of a
discount, sure, but nothing for free,” I said. “And anyway, I’m so
tired after work, I don’t want to stick around and eat. I want to
go home.”

“I can understand that,” he said. He looked
over the menu. “Well, I guess I’ll try this steak sandwich.”

“A man who eats manly meat,” I said. “I like
it.”

“Manly meat, huh?” he asked, chuckling.

“Sure. Didn’t you know steak was the
manliest of meats?”

“Making a note of it,” Ryan said.

I nodded. “And to drink?”

“A Cherry Coke,” he said.

“Now that’s a little girly, but I’ll let it
slide.”

“Well, I really ordered it for you,” Ryan
said. “See, I thought you could bring it over here along with two
straws. You could sit across from me, and we could drink it
together.”

It was decided. I was going to let Ryan
Foster do me. I had no idea when it would happen, but it was
inevitable. If he kept being this cute, it was inevitable.

“I can’t take Cherry Coke breaks in the
middle of my shift,” I said.

“Too bad,” Ryan replied. “Just give me a
regular Coke then.”

I nodded and walked away, glimpsing four
boys filing in. Cal. Parker. Someone. And another someone.

I sighed deeply. Life was so unfair
sometimes. Why couldn’t I flirt with Ryan in public without being
interrupted? And then I realized that a table in my section just
opened up. And it was a four top. No no no. I watched helplessly as
Kimberly led the four boys to my section, seating them at a table a
few feet away from Ryan.

I could feel the instant sweat break out
underneath my arms. It wasn’t so much Cal anymore who made me
nervous, though he should have. Parker was really the person who
made me uneasy. He didn’t like me; that was evident. And I didn’t
know what he planned to do about it. One part of me thought he had
no plans at all, but he didn’t strike me as that kind of guy. He
struck me as the calculating, vengeful guy who always paid back his
enemies. I inadvertently became an enemy when I ran into him in the
hallway. He knew I overheard his conversation in the stairwell. I
was convinced of it. And then I landed right on the top of his hit
list when I tore Gretchen away from his greedy claws at Tanner’s
party.

As I poured Ryan’s Coke, I surreptitiously
watched the four boys, feeling my anger rise, that righteous anger
I had not felt in weeks. I think I heard Beth sigh relief. I took a
deep breath, trying to steady my nerves, before bringing Ryan his
Coke.

Ryan’s demeanor completely changed. He was
no longer openly flirty, avoiding my eyes as he said “thank you”
when I placed his Coke in front of him. I was fine with that. I
didn’t want Cal seeing us flirt anyway. It was foolish on my part:
pursuing a guy who was off limits. I entertained the idea of being
secret friends with Ryan, and then scolded myself for being so
shallow and selfish. I didn’t want to be secret friends. I wanted
to be open friends, but it would ruin everything. Could Beth
forgive me if I chose to move on instead of getting revenge?

I reluctantly walked over to the four
top.

“Hi, guys,” I said.

“Hey, Brooke,” Cal said. He looked happy. I
think it was because I had to serve him.

The other boys mumbled “hellos.”

“Decided?” I asked, readying my pen.

“You have to write down orders?” Parker
asked. “You can’t just remember them? It’s not hard. There are only
four of us.”

I considered what would be the appropriate
response, but there wasn’t one. So I just repeated my question.

“Decided?”

Parker snorted and asked for Evian
water.

“We don’t have Evian water,” I said. “We
have tap water.”

“Pepsi then,” he said.

“Nope. Coke here,” I replied.

“We’re in North Carolina. Pepsi country,” he
argued.

“There’s a Bojangles right down the
road.”

Parker called me a bitch with his eyes, but
I stood stoic, refusing to give him the reaction he wanted. I
wondered why Cal wasn’t saying anything. It was obvious, the open
hostility between Parker and me. I felt like this lunch was one big
test. I wasn’t sure if I was passing, and more alarmingly, I didn’t
know why I cared.

“Whatever. Give me a Sprite,” Parker said.
“And this turkey sandwich.”

“You got it.”
Asshole
.

“And for you boys?”

“Same as Parker,” one of them said.
Hanger-on. How pathetic.

“Coke and a burger,” the other said.

“How would you like that cooked?” I
asked.

“Uh, whatever,” he replied.

There was nothing more infuriating and
unattractive than a guy with no confidence. Who doesn’t know how he
likes his burger cooked? Get a freaking backbone.

“Medium okay? Slightly pink center?” I
asked.

“Gross.”

“Okay. Well done then?” I asked. I made a
mental note to tell Terry to cook it until it was rubber.

“Yeah.”

“And for you?” I asked, turning to Cal.

“Saved the best for last,” he said, pulling
on the hem of my dress.

I nearly vomited in my mouth, but I forced a
grin instead.
Remember, Brooke. Playful. Sweet. Good
girl.

“Exactly,” I said, never taking my eyes off
Cal.

“I’ll have a burger, medium-rare,” he said
glancing at his friend with contempt. “And a Coke.”

“Sounds good,” I said, placing my unused pen
behind my ear.

I walked into the kitchen to use the
computer. I didn’t want to use the one out on the floor. I needed
to get away from those boys, separate myself by a door, and one
they weren’t allowed to walk through.

I stood at the computer punching and banging
away, mumbling under my breath.

“Wright! Take it easy on that screen! You
wanna break it?” Terry yelled from behind the grill.

“Leave me alone,” I snapped.

“Don’t get pissy with me or your customers
will be waiting a looong time for their food,” Terry said.

God, I hated working at a restaurant.
Servers were at the mercy of everyone: the hostesses who decided
what patrons were seated in their sections. The patrons themselves
who blamed everything on the server even if those things were out
of the server’s control. The kitchen staff who decided how fast and
how well the meals were prepared.

I stomped over to Terry. “Make sure you cook
the hell out of my well-done burger,” I said.

“Problem?” Terry asked.

“He’s just a little toadie,” I said.

Terry laughed. “Toadie?”

“Yeah. You know. Toadie. Part of the gang.
Not the leader. Could never be the leader because he’s a little
bitch,” I explained. “Toadie.”

“Gotcha.”

“And spit in everyone else’s food,” I
said.

“I’ll do my best,” Terry replied. “Your
steak sandwich is up.”

I grabbed Ryan’s lunch along with the boys’
drinks, and headed out the kitchen door.

I delivered the drinks first. I said nothing
as the boys chatted, ignoring me. The memory of Game 3 popped into
my head. I was on the list. Who would choose me, if anyone?

Terry and I had found another document of
Game 2 picks. There were more girls listed than actually made the
cut. I guess the boys liked to keep their options open. I thought
how lucky those girls were who didn’t get picked. The ones who did?
Well, I decided I needed to talk to some of them.

“How’s it look?” I asked Ryan, placing his
sandwich in front of him.

“Good,” he replied. “Thank you.” He looked
at me then, and he smiled.

Well, this was completely different from a
few minutes ago. A few minutes ago he acted like I was a total
stranger. Why the change?

I couldn’t help it. I had to turn around. I
caught sight of Cal glaring at Ryan. Why all the hostility? Why was
Cal out to get this guy? Ryan never talked to anyone at school. He
was quiet. He stayed out of the way. What was the big deal?

I turned back to Ryan. He was staring at
Cal. And then his lips curled into a sly grin like he was passing a
secret message to a mortal enemy. It said, “Go ahead and try to
keep me away from her, motherfucker. I’m not going anywhere.” And
here I thought Cal had Ryan under his thumb. Maybe in the past, but
it looked like Ryan was deciding to fight back. I felt a warm
liquid ooze through my arms and legs at the realization that he was
choosing to fight for me.

I bent down and whispered in Ryan’s ear.
“Would you like ketchup with your fries?”

I heard a rumble deep in his throat.
“No.”

“Would you like anything else?” I asked,
lips all but pressed to his ear.

“Yes,” he said, and I understood
perfectly.

I stood up, and Ryan caught my arm.

“Brooke?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

“Don’t hang around him,” Ryan said.

I tensed immediately. “Hang around who?”

“Cal. Those guys. Don’t hang around them.
They’re trouble,” Ryan explained.

“How do you know?” I felt the rapid increase
of my heart rate. What did Ryan know about Cal?

“I’ve gone to school with him since ninth
grade, Brooke,” Ryan said. “I know he’s an asshole. A bully.”

I nodded.

“Please just listen to me when I say that
you need to stay away from him. I mean, I know you two work on
yearbook stuff together. I know you can’t avoid him altogether. But
please stay away from him as much as you can,” he said.

“Do you know something about him you’re not
telling me?” I asked.

Ryan paused for the briefest second then
shook his head. “I’m jealous for you.”

My heart skipped a beat then settled into an
uneven rhythm. I begged him silently to say those words again, and
he read my mind.

“I’m jealous for you, and he’s an
asshole.”

“Okay,” I replied, grinning.

When I brought the boys their lunch, I made
sure to serve them in my best
I-love-being-a-waitress-and-working-at-a-diner impersonation.
Everyone looked satisfied except for Cal, who was seething at
Ryan’s defiance. I decided to fan the flame. How much did Cal
really want me?

“Cal, is everything okay?” I asked. It was
super sweet and disgusting all rolled into one.

Cal nodded. “What are you doing
tonight?”

That caught me off guard. “Well, I . . . um
. . .”

“Wanna go to the movies?” Cal asked.

Okay. Yes, I thought that Cal liked me a
little. I think he saw me as one big conquest that would be harder
than his others, and he liked the challenge. I didn’t fawn all over
him like most girls. I think he saw it as part of my charm. It
wasn’t strategy on my part. Truthfully, I just kept getting
distracted. And that was mostly Ryan’s fault. I thought I should
ask my dad about getting tested for ADD though I knew he didn’t
believe such disorders existed. This guy was ridiculous, though.
The second he feared competition, he was ready to date me.

“I have plans, actually,” I said. No, I
wasn’t forfeiting a golden opportunity. I was taking one instead. I
wouldn’t pass up the chance to spend an evening with Ryan. And I
knew that if Cal suspected Ryan and I had plans, he would blow a
gasket. Was I using Ryan? Absolutely not, but I couldn’t deny the
advantage our date would give me over Cal. I thought in that
deluded moment I could have both boys: Ryan, the boy I saw myself
truly falling in love with, and Cal, the boy who would use me and
then regret it.

“What plans?” Cal asked, glancing at
Ryan.

“Just plans,” I said. “But maybe next
weekend.”

Cal grunted.

Parker piped up. “Well, everything seems to
be right.” His tone held a note of confusion mixed with surprise as
thought he expected I’d mess up the orders. I smiled sweetly.

“And I didn’t even have to write them down,”
I said, then turned my back on them and walked away.

***

“I feel shallow,” I admitted, not looking at
him. I was sitting on Ryan’s bed that afternoon after work.