Gone Away (16 page)

Patricia felt the warm clasp of his hand round hers and for a fleeting second was aware of his steely eyes searching hers. Within their blue-grey depths there was an inscrutable expression, wholly puzzling and strangely comforting, as if even now, before it was too late, he longed to
h
ear her condemn his attitude, longed to reach some understanding that would mitigate the inexplicable distress that encompassed him. If Patricia was aware of his appeal, she showed no sign; she dared not even attempt to read the unspoken message in his eyes. Returning the pressure of his hand, she drew hers quickly away and watched him turn on his heel and disappear through the open doorway into the garden beyond.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Patricia leaned her arms on the window sill and stared down into the street below. London in spring
...
the words had a poetic sound, but the scene below presented anything but a poet’s inspiration. The first breath of warm air had attracted every child from the neighboring streets of the locality to the small patch of green in the crescent in front of the half-circle of houses. Urchins of all ages shrieked and sang with glee as they scampered in the confined space.

Patricia drew her knees up beneath her on the window-seat and leaned her head back against the woodwork. Although she had been back in London more than a month she still had moments when this life, familiar as it should have been, seemed unreal, and dreamlike. The picture of that brief journey to the East remained so vivid, recurring so frequently to her mind, that sometimes Singapore was still the real centre of her existence. In some ways she had fallen back into her old life readily enough. Mrs. Jutson had welcomed her warmly, and her shabby bedsitting-room, boasting no successor, was ready and waiting to receive her. A job had miraculously materialized at her first application, and in actual fact she was settled back to her old routine as if she had never left it. Her first duty after her return had been to visit her father’s Vicarage, and as she had anticipated, the cable, typical of her stepmother’s over-anxious attitude toward illness, had been sent wholly unnecessarily. Her father, although he had suffered from a temporary indisposition, was now in perfect health. Even after her absence, her home, ruled by her stepmother, offered little appeal, and she was glad to cut short her visit and return to the solitary comfort of her lodgings.

No news had followed Patricia from Singapore, but that was her own fault for, being unsure of finding accommodation again in her old quarters, she had left no address. Only when Ian’s loan had been promptly repaid with a cheque from her father had she given anyone in Singapore information of her whereabouts. She did not attempt to hide from herself that she did not want to hear from Singapore, that for the time being she wanted to remain cut off from that episode, until she had had time to readjust her thoughts and sort out her emotions.

Maimie was no doubt married by now; probably still on her honeymoon. Patricia had only to close her eyes to visualize Maimie’s wedding in every detail. During her stay in Singapore, she had so often visited the cathedral in which the wedding was to take place. She could picture Maimie, clothed in clinging white, standing by Seymour’s side, her head bowed beneath the soft veiling tulle, the sun slanting through the stained-glass windows, weaving zigzag patterns on the sheen of her gown and creating a golden halo for her head.

Patricia dragged herself away from the window, and, crossing to her mirror, pulled on her hat. It was much too fine a day to remain indoors; she had little enough time for air and exercise while working in an office all day. Picking up her gloves and bag, she left her room and hurrying down the long flight of stairs, let herself out. Directing her steps toward Regent’s Park, she was soon out of the vicinity of the shrieking children and making her way along quiet streets. In a more decorous way Regent’s Park was also suffering from the first promise of warm weather, and nurses,
p
erambulators and children crowded the pathways between the
b
eds of spring flowers and the blossom-laden trees.

Patricia made her way to the edge of the lake, where, in desultory fashion, she watched the children throwing crumbs of bread to the swans and ducks.

“Surely it’s Patricia!”

Patricia swung round at the mention of her name. For a moment she stared as if her eyes were deceiving her. Then, assured that she was not dreaming, she spoke. “Ian! Why, Ian, what on earth are you doing here?” she asked, her voice pitched high with surprise.

“Yes, it’s me all right. I’ve been in England nearly as long as you
...
followed by the next boat, in fact,” Ian responded laughingly.

“Where’s Kitty ... is she with you?” Patricia’s voice was bubbling with excitement. “Why did you decide to return? I had no idea
...
surely it was a very sudden decision?” Her eager questions tumbled out one after the other.

I
an slipped his arm beneath hers. “Come somewhere where we can talk quietly and I’ll tell you everything. Perhaps we can find a seat.” He looked toward the bank. “Or how about somewhere for a cup of tea?”

“Whatever you like. I don’t mind.” Patricia fell into step by Ian’s side. “There is sure to be a vacant seat somewhere, or, if you prefer it, there is a tea place a few minutes away.”

“Then let’s make for that. I’ll tell you all my news over a cup of tea and, in the meantime, tell me, how are you?”

Patricia smiled. “I’m fine, thanks
...
quite settled down to London and business again. I’ve almost forgotten I ever left it,” she exclaimed, but Ian was quick to detect a note of insincerity in her tone.

“Poor Pat
...
you had a rotten end to your adventure.” He pressed her arm sympathetically. “Kitty told me all about it. You didn’t mind my knowing, did you?” he queried anxiously.

“Of course not, and I’ve never thanked you for your loan. I hope you received the repayment safely?”

They turned down the path leading to the tea house. “I did, thanks; it was forwarded to me here. I called at your place this afternoon. It’s the first opportunity I’ve had since I got back. Your landlady told me I’d probably find you by the lake.”

“Yes, it’s a favorite walk of mine. I’m awfully glad to see you again, and it was very clever of you to find me,” Patricia rejoined with enthusiasm.

“Yes, I could scarcely believe my eyes; it seemed too good to be true,” he replied boyishly. He stopped speaking as they neared the tea house.
“
This looks quiet and cosy. Now what about it? Tea in the open or indoors?”

“Oh, indoors, I think.” Patricia responded as she followed her escort through the swing doors into the tearoom. During their walk Patricia had been silently wondering what could possibly have happened to account for Ian’s sudden change of plans. There had been no question of his returning; on the contrary, he was intending to settle in the East, and his marriage to Kitty had been forthcoming. He had been the last person in the world she had expected to meet, and she could scarcely contain her impatience.

It was not until they were comfortably seated at a corner table, and tea had been ordered and set before them, that Ian prepared himself to satisfy Patricia’s curiosity. As if conscious of her thoughts, he leaned across the table toward her. “I know you must be longing to know why I am here when you thought me miles away in Singapore?”

“I am. I can’t understand what has happened,” Patricia admitted, while, with growing concern, she saw Ian’s brow crease into a frown and his eyes cloud ominously.

“Everything is over
...
Kitty and I have decided to part.” Patricia heard his words with growing uneasiness. Surely she hadn’t heard right? This couldn’t be true! This couldn’t have happened! “You didn’t get your decree?” she faltered. “That can be the only reason
...
there can’t be any other explanation?”

“I got my decree all right; it was made absolute last week.” Ian sipped at his tea, and in an effort to put his companion at ease and take the tension from the atmosphere, he laughed. “Don’t look so serious.” He handed her a dish of cakes. “Here, eat something; you mustn’t let my news spoil your appetite or I’ll be sorry I told you.”

Patricia shook her head. “No thanks.” Her mouth felt dry and constricted, and, anxious to cover her concern, she drank a mouthful of the tea before her and spoke again. “Please tell me, what has happened?”

“It’s realty rather a long story, but I’ll make it as brief as possible. I got a cable too
...
mine was a genuine one.” He smiled at Patricia. “Yes, horribly genuine. My father and elder brother were killed in a flying accident—a passenger plane on the Continent
...
perhaps you read about it?” As Patricia shook her head, he continued,
“
I am the heir now.” He gave a deprecatory smile. “I know I don’t look like a wealthy peer, but that is what circumstance has made me. There are large estates; it is my duty to attend to them.” He sighed. “Of course, that meant goodbye to my intended partnership with Bob Wane and, indeed, to the possibility of living elsewhere out in this country.”

“Yes ... I see that. I am dreadfully sorry to hear about your loss. It must have been a tremendous shock.” Patricia smiled sadly. “So now you’re a man of title and property? I suppose I ought to congratulate you on that?”

“You need not. Kitty meant more than all the titles and all the property in the world to me,” Ian responded bitterly.

“But I don’t understand.” Patricia frowned in bewilderment. “Surely Kitty can share all this with you?”

“It’s my own fault that she can’t. Years ago I could have married Kitty. I was a fool; I couldn’t see that she cared for me. I looked upon her as a child. I married someone else, and Kitty remained single, deciding to share her life with her brother. Had I remained in Singapore we should have married and made up for all the years we’d lost, but now I’ve got to live here, and Kitty, after all this time with Bob, won’t leave him.” As Patricia attempted to interrupt, Ian urged her to silence. “You’re going to say that it’s absurd; that Bob shouldn’t count.” Ian nodded dismally.
“
Kitty is right; Bob Wane does come into this. He remained single for Kitty’s sake, and, quite rightly, she refuses to desert him now. Bob s life is in Singapore; he can’t leave, and Kitty insists on keeping a home for him as long as he needs her.”

“But Dr. Wane
...
surely he won’t allow Kitty to make such a sacrifice?” Patricia broke in impatiently.

“Bob doesn’t know. He thinks we
’
ve had a difference. Kitty insisted that we keep our own counsel in the matter.”

“It seems all wrong.” Patricia frowned. “You were so well suited
...
such an ideal pair.”

“We were all that, but her duty lies there and mine here. Bob is my friend, and I don’t expect her to let him down. Years ago I could have had Kitty, if I
’
d taken her then; seven years ago Bob might have married, and this would never have arisen. Bob’s not very fit, you know; he needs someone to look after him, and I believe it would break his heart if Kitty left him now.”

“I suppose I understand
...
but it’s awful.” Patricia lapsed into silence. She felt unable to offer consolation, unable to express her sympathy. It was all so unexpected and incredible.

Ian leaned across the table. “You can’t imagine what a relief it has been to unburden myself to someone.”

Patricia smiled her sympathy. She still felt stunned and inarticulate; it seemed so dreadful that, while she had been wrapped in her own unhappiness, exaggerating in her own mind the enormity of her misfortune, Kitty and Ian had been called upon to suffer far more than she could believe possible.

“I know you haven’t heard any news from Singapore. I’m afraid
haven’t either,” Ian broke in with, a quick He smiled across at his companion. “I’m afraid we two are for a bit, so I am in the same position as you.” change of subject. “Kitty and I decided to cut out letterwriting entirely cut off; our brief sojourn in the East is as if it had never happened except—like me, you have scars. Perhaps we can help one another to forget.” He glanced at Patricia with a wistful look in his eyes.

“Of course we can!” she asserted with a conviction she was far from feeling. Poor Ian! Her heart ached for him.

Ian’s eyes
had regained a measure of their former brightness. “Let’s start the forgetting process right away. Are you doing anything this evening? If not, how about dinner and a show?
”
he questioned eagerly.

“
I’d love it. Although I’ve lived in London ages, I’m afraid I don’t boast many more friends than you do. I never seem to make friends in business and, when one’s working, there is little opportunity for making acquaintances outside the office.”

“I hardly know a soul in town. I’ve taken a furnished flat here for a month or so. There’s a good bit to attend to with regard to my father’s estate. I’m down at the solicitor’s office nearly every day. I thought I’d stay here until things were settled, and then I’ll get down to my new home in Hampshire.”

Ian attracted the waitress’s attention and settled the bill. “I suppose we ought to be moving if we’re going out tonight.” He waited for Patricia to rise, then followed her to the door.

Suddenly Patricia began to feel happier as she sensed the obvious Relief her companion was finding in her company; perhaps subconsciously she was flattered by his genuine pleasure in having met her.

“A taxi ... or do we walk?” Ian asked as they walked side by side down the pathway leading to the exit gates of the park.

“Walk, of course. It’s no distance to my place,” Patricia replied. “Besides, I came out for exercise and I haven’t had much so far.” She flashed a smile at her companion. “All I’ve done is sit in a teashop and eat!”

“You’ve done much more than that.” There was deep feeling in Ian’s voice. “You made me feel a different person.”

Patricia made no reply, although, she felt warmed by his sincerity. For a few minutes they walked in silence until, having gone through the wide gates, they stood on the pavement of the main road waiting to cross.

“I suppose Maimie is married by now. It seems strange to think of her as a married woman.” Ian paused. “In some ways I was glad to miss the wedding. I hate to see an ill-assorted couple tie themselves up,” he ended feelingly.

“It’s funny, but, you know, I’m not really worried about Maimie; although she is young in some ways, she is amazingly self-assured and capable. I’m sure she’ll be happy in the end,” Patricia asserted with conviction. “Well, here we are.” Patricia stopped walking. “This is where
I live. Thanks awfully for seeing me home.”

Ian stood watching her until she had disappeared through the heavy, old-fashioned doorway, then, turning on his heel, made his way back toward his temporary home. Kitty would be pleased. Yes, he was certain that Kitty, had she known, would have been genuinely glad that he had found Patricia to stand by him.