GONE - Part Three (The GONE Series Book 3) (3 page)

"You can't do that to me." Clive pulls me into his chest the moment I step out of the taxi in front of my building. "Where have you been? Why haven't you answered your phone?"

They're the expected questions that a man asks a woman he cares for when she disappears after a traumatic event. I should find comfort in them and in the way he's clinging to me, but I can't. All I can see is him back at the bistro, shoving my picture into his pocket. "I went to see my attorney."

"What's his name?" he asks into my hair. "I'd like to speak with him."

"Have you been waiting long?" I'm not asking because I'm concerned about how he's wasted his time standing on the street in front of my building. I don't want him to talk to Garrett. I need to gain perspective and find my own path out of this nightmare and I can't do that if he's influencing the only person who is looking out for my legal best interests. I have no doubt that if I tell Clive that my attorney is named Garrett Ryan that he'll call him up immediately and tell him that I no longer need his services.

His head dips down to his wristwatch. "I've been here for more than an hour."

"It's been a really hard day." I look at the sidewalk. "I think I'm just going to go up to my place and sleep."

"No." His arm slides from my back to my waist. "I'll come up with you and we'll talk."

I run both of my hands over my forehead. "I don't feel talking right now, Clive."

"Lilly." He pulls back. "Look at me."

I need to. I don’t see how I'm going to be able to end this conversation without looking at him. I casually drift my eyes over his face before settling them on a spot just past his right ear. "I'd like to go up to my apartment."
              I flinch when I feel his strong hand grab my chin. "Look me in the eye."

I trace the fingers of my left hand over my lips, trying to gather the strength to face him directly. I need to shield all of the doubt I'm feeling. If I don't, this evening will never end. "What is it?"

In the dim light that the streetlights cast down on us, he studies my face. "You look exhausted."

I feel my bottom lip quiver so I race my tongue over it, hoping to quiet it. "I can't think straight at this point. Sleep will help."

"I can stay with you." He tilts his chin towards the front door of my building. "Or we can go to my place if you'd be more comfortable there."

He wants to pull me back into the comfort of his bed. He'll kiss me, touch me and chase away all the lingering doubts. "I think I'll just stay here by myself tonight."

"I don't think that's a good idea," he presses as he begins to steer me towards the front door. "I'll just stay until you fall asleep."

My avenue of escape is narrowing. I have to do something if I want the space and peace I need to think about today. "Did you find out who put the picture in the slideshow?"

His feet stop in place just as his hand drops from the small of my back. "Not yet."

"Alec was going to talk to the woman who I gave the flash drive with my slides to." I look up and into his face. "Do you know if he talked to her?"

He looks past me towards the softly lit foyer of my building. "I believe he did, yes."

"What did she say?" I push not only because I want to know if Cheryl has any knowledge of what happened but because I want to gauge Clive's reactions.

"She's as stumped as the rest of us."

I keep my eyes focused on him even though he won't look at me. "How can that be?"

"You're tired, Lilly." He leans forward to brush his lips against my forehead. "I think sleep is probably the best thing for you. I'll call you in the morning."

I close my eyes just as he turns and walks away.

My initial plan when I was eating ice cream and watching a movie at midnight was to bury my phone at the bottom of my clothes hamper, ignore the buzzer to my apartment and spend the entire weekend wrapped up in my own thoughts. That lasted until ten this morning when Ben called me three times in a row. I ignored the first two calls but when I saw his number flash across the screen for a third time within five minutes, panic set in. I answered immediately.

Now, three hours later I'm sitting at a table in Axel NY staring at him and Kayla. They can't stop smiling and the fact that I feel like shit and likely look like hell isn't registering with either of them. "What's going on?" I ask tentatively.

"We didn't just call you down here to have lunch," Ben says loudly. "I mean we love spending time with you, Lil, but we have something to tell you."

It has to be good news. Judging by the way he keeps kissing her cheek I'd bet money that they're not breaking up. They're engaged so it's either a wedding date or…

"We're having a baby," Kayla blurts out. "Ben and I are having a baby."

My eyes volley from her face back to his. I want to cry, not because I'm so thrilled for the two of them. I am. I know Ben will be an amazing father and his child will never want for anything. I want to cry because this is what it looks like when two people who love each other start a family. This is the joy that is in their faces. The last time I sat at a table and was told a baby was on the way was much different than this. My mother was shedding tears of sorrow over the fact that she was pregnant with my youngest brother, River. He only lived to be five-years-old.

"Did you hear her, Lil?" Ben is almost bouncing out of his chair. "We're going to have a baby."

My hand leaps to my mouth. I push against my lips to hold in a sob. "I'm so happy for you both," I whisper between my fingers.

"I'm having the waiter bring over some champagne for Ben and your friend." A deep voice from the right invades our conversation. "Do you want some sparkling juice or water, Kayla? I can see if we have any non-alcoholic champagne."

"Thank you, Hunter." Kayla reaches to touch the top of his hand. "Juice would be good."

Hunter. I know who he is. He's the man who is raising Clive's nephew, Cory.

"I'm sorry, Hunter." Kayla chuckles softly. "This is our friend, Lilly."

He reaches his hand to me and I grab onto it without hesitation. This is the only person, besides Parker, who is part of Clive's family. I stare at him, taking in the kindness of his smile as he stares down at me. "It's my pleasure, Lilly."

"How do you know Ben?" I ask without thinking. Judging by the fact that Ben has already invited me to Axel NY twice, I'm guessing that he's a regular.

"I'm friends with Hunter's wife," Kayla explains. "We've been friends since college."

The world is a very small and random place. "That's amazing. I've heard great things about Sadie."

All three sets of eyes hone in on me. I said it without thinking and now I'm going to have to explain not only how I know Sadie's name but also, who has told me about her.

"Wait." Hunter takes a full step back just as his hand flies to his chin. "I know you."

He doesn't. I've never met the man. He's thinking of some other redhead who knows his wife. I don't even technically know her. I only know of her because of my Clive Parker fact finding missions online and the few small details he offered about her. "We've never met."

"You're dating Clive." A small grin pulls at the corner of his mouth. "You're that Lilly."

"You're dating Clive Parker?" Kayla's hand falls to the table with a dull, empty thud. "Why didn't you tell me you were dating Clive Parker?"

Why can't I rewind time to the moment when Hunter walks over to our table, so can I duck underneath it?

"It's really new and we haven't discussed whether…"

"I used to date his brother, Parker."

"What?" I spit the word out with more distaste than I intend. "You dated Parker?"

"Have you met him?" She leans both elbows on the table. "I haven't seen him in months."

I stare at Ben. He's listening intently to Kayla, with a broad smile on his face. I, on the other hand, feel as though I'm about to scream. How is it even remotely possible that my only friend's fiancée used to date my boyfriend's brother?

"Lilly?" She taps her fingers over my hand. "Have you met Parker?"

"Once." I look up at Hunter's face. He seems just as invested in this conversation as Kayla is. "He came to the bistro I was working at one night so it was a quick hello. That's it."

"That's so random." She throws her head back in gleeful laughter. "I can't believe you're dating Clive."

I can't believe Hunter knows I'm dating Clive. I came to this lunch hoping that a few hours with Ben and Kayla would help boost my spirits and take my mind off of what happened yesterday. Now, I've been forced to reveal that I'm dating a man I'm not sure I want to even see again.

"Don’t tell Clive this but years ago I signed up to get news alerts whenever his name popped up." Hunter's body shakes with a deep laugh. "I don't check it all the time but last week I clicked on a link and there was your face."

He said last week so that rules out last night. Gauging by the way he's not judging me, I'm going to guess that he doesn't know that my breasts were the stars of the tech show that Hughes Enterprises put on yesterday. "My face popped up?"

"It was an image of you and Clive at a restaurant." He pulls his face into a mock scowl. "It wasn't one of my restaurants though."

"I had no idea." I don’t take my eyes off of him. "I'll have to look that up."

"I'll find it right now." He fishes his smartphone out of the pocket of his black pants. "I'll just search your name."

"No," I practically scream the word. "I'd rather we toast to Ben and Kayla's new baby."

"Right." Hunter snaps his fingers. "I'll go get the champagne and juice and we'll celebrate."

I heave a sigh at the reprieve. I have no doubt that if Hunter Reynolds would have searched my name that he'd get an eyeful of me I never want him to see.

I've searched my name online three times since I came home from the restaurant and the only reference to what happened yesterday is a brief mention of the picture at the end of a blogger's comments about the shopping app. The picture didn't pop up at all but it's only been a day and the search engine's algorithms may need some time to catch up. I'm going to enjoy the calm before the storm and ready myself for what my uncertain future holds. I need to focus on showing Alec that he made the right decision in keeping me on at Hughes Enterprises, I need to find out from Garrett what I can do to protect my rights and I have to find out who set me up.

I hear the faint knock at my door just as the sound of heavy footsteps stop. Anyone who walks into the foyer who doesn't live here is supposed to buzz the apartment they want to visit, but it's a futile idea. The latch on the inner door of the lobby is loose so virtually anyone can wander in and out freely. I've been meaning to bring it up to with the super but my breast scandal has cleared my mind of every other thought.

I pull open the door even though I know who is standing on the other side of it. He's texted me twice already today. I told him that I was meeting friends for lunch and then had to catch up on some work but the man either can't read between the lines of a subtle hint or he refuses to align himself with anyone's needs but his own in the moment. I told him I'd talk to him on Monday. It's Saturday afternoon and I need to face him and this.

"Do you want to come in or should we go across to the coffee shop to talk?" I motion towards my still barren living room.

"I'd like to be alone with you." He leans against the door. "We need to talk, Lilly."

"We do," I agree. "There's no place here to talk comfortably."

"The coffee shop is too loud." He taps his shoe on the floor. "I'd like to take you back to my condo."

The suggestion that more will happen than a conversation is right there in the air between us. He wants me and even if I couldn't see the evidence of that in his eyes, I'd know it from the tone of his voice.

He reaches to touch my hand. "We can just talk if you want."

Even when I'm trying to block out every emotion that I'm feeling, he can still read my mind. "I just want to talk."

"That's exactly what we're going to do then."

I hesitate for only a brief moment. I want to rid myself of the cloak of doubt that is weighing me down. I want to breathe again and I can't do that until he tells me how my picture ended up on that screen.  "I'll get my purse and my keys."

***

"You were shivering in the taxi on the way here." He wraps his arm around my shoulders. "Why don't you sit down? I'll make you some tea."

It's too kind of a gesture for the moment. I'm shivering because I'm a jumble of nerves. He spent the entire ride over talking on his phone to his assistant, Bruce. Clive doesn't stop working, even on the weekends and judging by the single side of the conversation I was privy to, he'll be spending much of tomorrow in his office in meetings with associates from Europe.

"I don't want anything." I pull away from him and move towards an arm chair. "I'd like to talk about yesterday."

He rubs his hand over the front of his neck before he nods. "I know you're devastated over what happened, Lilly."

The words hold more meaning than the delivery he provides. He's very calm and in control. I want him to be as torn up over what happened to me as I am but I've learned over the years of being on my own that we all have to own our emotions. We can't look to others for compassion or sympathy. I'm looking at him right now and all I see is a man with a rehearsed answer for any question I'm about to ask.

"You were the last person to have that picture, Clive." Easing into this with pleasantries and small talk isn't going to help me find the truth about what happened. I want answers. I need them and now that I'm in his condo, I'm not planning on leaving until I have them.

He walks towards where I'm sitting and for a very brief moment I wonder if he's going to drop to his knees and kiss me. My resolve is strong but when he's so close to me, the want is right there, rounding the corner and almost overtaking my willpower to resist him.

He sits on the edge of the table near me. I tuck my legs up, not wanting him to touch me. The motion doesn't go unnoticed. He stares at my jeans briefly before he pulls his darkened gaze to my face. "Ask me already, Lilly. Just ask."

I look down at his hands. They're knotted together in a twisted mess. He's cracking his knuckles and snaking the fingers of his left hand with the right. His anxiety is as evident as mine. I see it now.

"Ask you what?" I push back not wanting to be put on the spot.

"You know what." He leans back to rest one hand against the glass of the table. "Just ask."

Once I toss the question out there the entire dynamic of our relationship will shift. I'll be the accuser and if he had nothing to do with the picture being displayed, I'll have to live with the regret of doubting his word. I scratch the back of my head, trying to figure out a way out. I want the things he said to me while we stood in the living room of my parent's home to be real. I want to believe that the adoration I feel in his kiss is sincere. I want that. I don't want to lose it.

"I am crazy about you, Lilly." He swallows so hard I can hear it. "I am so fucking crazy about you."

I cast my gaze down so I can focus my thoughts. I run my hand along the arm of the chair. "I know that you care about me."

"It's so much more than that." The soft rasp in his voice is disarming. "I love being around you. I never smiled before I met you. I never wanted to smile.

They are beautiful and thoughtful words that I would have fallen into two days ago. Now, I know that the truth is buried somewhere within them. If he didn't have anything to do with the picture being broadcast for the entire room to see, he would have said as much. He would have just come out and told me.

"You and Parker are the only two people who saw that picture." I point my finger at him. "I want to know how it happened. I want you to tell me, Clive."

His head drops to his hands. "Someone else saw the picture. I believe someone else has a copy and it's my fault."