Gone With the Wind (88 page)

“It’s worth being in jail to see you again and to hear you say things like that. I really couldn’t believe my ears when they brought me your name. You see, I never expected you to forgive me for my patriotic conduct that night on the road near Rough and Ready. But I take it that this call means you have forgiven me?”

She could feel swift anger stir, even at this late date, as she thought of that night but she subdued it and tossed her head until the earrings danced.

“No, I haven’t forgiven you,” she said and pouted.

“Another hope crushed. And after I offered up myself for my country and fought barefooted in the snow at Franklin and got the finest case of dysentery you ever heard of for my pains!”

“I don’t want to hear about your—pains,” she said, still pouting hut smiling at him from tip-tilted eyes. “I still think you were hateful that night and I never expect to forgive you. Leaving me alone like that when anything might have happened to me!”

“But nothing did happen to you. So, you see, my confidence in you was justified. I knew you’d get home safely and God help any Yankee who got in your way!”

“Rhett, why on earth did you do such a silly thing—enlisting at the last minute when you knew we were going to get licked? And after all you’d said about idiots who went out and got shot!”

“Scarlett, spare me! I am always overcome with shame when I think about it.”

“Well, I’m glad to learn you are ashamed of the way you treated me.”

“You misunderstand. I regret to say that my conscience has not troubled me at all about deserting you. But as for enlisting—when I think of joining the army in varnished boots and a white linen suit and armed with only a pair of dueling pistols— And those long cold miles in the snow after my boots wore out and I had no overcoat and nothing to eat … I cannot understand why I did not desert. It was all the purest insanity. But it’s in one’s blood. Southerners can never resist a losing cause. But never mind my reasons. It’s enough that I’m forgiven.”

“You’re not. I think you’re a hound.” But she caressed the last word until it might have been “darling.”

“Don’t fib. You’ve forgiven me. Young ladies don’t dare Yankee sentries to see a prisoner, just for charity’s sweet sake, and come all dressed up in velvet and feathers and seal muffs too. Scarlett, how pretty you look! Thank God, you aren’t in rags or mourning! I get so sick of women in dowdy old clothes and perpetual crêpe. You look like the Rue de la Paix. Turn around, my dear, and let me look at you.”

So he had noticed the dress. Of course, he would notice such things, being Rhett. She laughed in soft excitement and spun about on her toes, her arms extended, her hoops tilting up to show her lace trimmed pantalets. His black eyes took her in from bonnet to heels in a glance that missed nothing, that old impudent unclothing glance which always gave her goose bumps.

“You look very prosperous and very, very tidy. And almost good enough to eat. If it wasn’t for the Yankees outside—but you are quite safe, my dear. Sit down. I won’t take advantage of you as I did the last time I saw you.” He rubbed his cheek with pseudo ruefulness. “Honestly, Scarlett, don’t you think you were a bit selfish, that night? Think of all I had done for you, risked my life—stolen a horse—and such a horse! Rushed to the defense of Our Glorious Cause! And what did I get for my pains? Some hard words and a very hard slap in the face.”

She sat down. The conversation was not going in quite the direction she hoped. He had seemed so nice when he first saw her, so genuinely glad she had come. He had almost seemed like a human being and not the perverse wretch she knew so well.

“Must you always get something for your pains?”

“Why, of course! I am a monster of selfishness, as you ought to know. I always expect payment for anything I give.”

That sent a slight chill through her but she rallied and jingled her earbobs again.

“Oh, you really aren’t so bad, Rhett. You just like to show off.”

“My word, but you have changed!” he said and laughed. “What has made a Christian of you? I have kept up with you through Miss Pittypat but she gave me no intimation that you had developed womanly sweetness. Tell me more about yourself, Scarlett. What have you been doing since I last saw you?”

The old irritation and antagonism which he roused in her was hot in her heart and she yearned to speak tart words. But she smiled instead and the dimple crept into her cheek. He had drawn a chair close beside hers and she leaned over and put a gentle hand on his arm, in an unconscious manner.

“Oh, I’ve been doing nicely, thank you, and everything at Tara is fine now. Of course, we had a dreadful time right after Sherman went through but, after all, he didn’t burn the house and the darkies saved most of the livestock by driving it into the swamp. And we cleared a fair crop this last fall, twenty bales. Of course, that’s practically nothing compared with what Tara can do but we haven’t many field hands. Pa says, of course, we’ll do better next year. But, Rhett, it’s so dull in the country now! Imagine, there aren’t any balls or barbecues and the only thing people talk about is hard times! Goodness, I get sick of it! Finally last week I got too bored to stand it any longer, so Pa said I must take a trip and have a good time. So I came up here to get me some frocks made and then I’m going over to Charleston to visit my aunt. It’ll be lovely to go to balls again.”

There, she thought with pride, I delivered that with just the right airy way! Not too rich but certainly not poor.

“You look beautiful in ball dresses, my dear, and you know it too, worse luck! I suppose the real reason you are going, visiting is that you have run through the County swains and are seeking fresh ones in fields afar.”

Scarlett had a thankful thought that Rhett had spent the last several months abroad and had only recently come back to Atlanta. Otherwise, he would never have made so ridiculous a statement. She thought briefly of the County swains, the ragged embittered little Fontaines, the poverty-stricken Munroe boys, the Jonesboro and Fayetteville beaux who were so busy plowing, splitting rails and nursing sick old animals that they had forgotten such things as balls and pleasant flirtations ever existed. But she put down this memory and giggled self-consciously as if admitting the truth of his assertion.

“Oh, well,” she said deprecatingly.

“You are a heartless creature, Scarlett, but perhaps that’s part of your charm.” He smiled in his old way, one corner of his mouth curving down, but she knew he was complimenting her. “For, of course, you know you have more charm than the law should permit. Even I have felt it, case-hardened though I am. I’ve often wondered what it was about you that made me always remember you, for I’ve known many ladies who were prettier than you and certainly more clever and, I fear, morally more upright and kind. But, somehow, I always remembered you. Even during the months since the surrender when I was in France and England and hadn’t seen you or heard of you and was enjoying the society of many beautiful ladies, I always remembered you and wondered what you were doing.”

For a moment she was indignant that he should say other women were prettier, more clever and kind than she, but that momentary flare was wiped out in her pleasure that he had remembered her and her charm. So he hadn’t forgotten! That would make things easier. And he was behaving so nicely, almost like a gentleman would do under the circumstances. Now, all she had to do was bring the subject around to himself, so she could intimate that she had not forgotten him either and then—

She gently squeezed his arm and dimpled again.

“Oh, Rhett, how you do run on, teasing a country girl like me! I know mighty well you never gave me a thought after you left me that night. You can’t tell me you ever thought of me with all those pretty French and English girls around you. But I didn’t come all the way out here to hear you talk foolishness about me. I came—I came— because—”

“Because?”

“Oh, Rhett, I’m so terribly distressed about you! So frightened for you! When will they let you out of that terrible place?” He swiftly covered her hand with his and held it hard against his arm.

“Your distress does you credit. There’s no telling when I’ll be out. Probably when they’ve stretched the rope a bit more.”

“The rope?”

“Yes, I expect to make my exit from here at the rope’s end.”

“They won’t really hang you?”

“They will if they can get a little more evidence against me.”

“Oh, Rhett!” she cried, her hand at her heart.

“Would you be sorry? If you are sorry enough, I’ll mention you in my will.”

His dark eyes laughed at her recklessly and he squeezed her hand.

His will! She hastily cast down her eyes for fear of betrayal but not swiftly enough, for his eyes gleamed, suddenly curious.

“According to the Yankees, I ought to have a fine will. There seems to be considerable interest in my finances at present. Every day, I am hauled up before another board of inquiry and asked foolish questions. The rumor seems current that I made off with the mythical gold of the Confederacy.”

“Well—did you?”

“What a leading question! You know as well as I do that the Confederacy ran a printing press instead of a mint.”

“Where did you get all your money? Speculating? Aunt Pittypat said—”

“What probing questions you ask!”

Damn him! Of course, he had the money. She was so excited it became difficult to talk sweetly to him.

“Rhett, I’m so upset about your being here. Don’t you think there’s a chance of your getting out?”

“ ‘Nihil desperandum’ is my motto.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means ‘maybe,’ my charming ignoramus.”

She fluttered her thick lashes up to look at him and fluttered them down again.

“Oh, you’re too smart to let them hang you! I know you’ll think of some clever way to beat them and get out! And when you do—”

“And when I do?” he asked softly, leaning closer.

“Well, I—” and she managed a pretty confusion and a blush. The blush was not difficult for she was breathless and her heart was beating like a drum. “Rhett, I’m so sorry about what I—I said to you that night—you know—at Rough and Ready. I was—oh, so very frightened and upset and you were so—so—” She looked down and saw his brown hand tighten over hers. “And—I thought then that I’d never, never forgive you! But when Aunt Pitty told me yesterday that you—that they might hang you—it came over me of a sudden and I—I—” She looked up into his eyes with one swift imploring glance and in it she put an agony of heartbreak. “Oh, Rhett, I’d die if they hanged you! I couldn’t bear it! You see, I—” And, because she could not longer sustain the hot leaping light that was in his eyes, her lids fluttered down again.

In a moment I’ll be crying, she thought in a frenzy of wonder and excitement. Shall I let myself cry? Would that seem more natural?

He said quickly: “My God, Scarlett, you can’t mean that you—” and his hands closed over hers in so hard a grip that it hurt.

She shut her eyes tightly, trying to squeeze out tears, but remembered to turn her face up slightly so he could kiss her with no difficulty. Now, in an instant his lips would be upon hers, the hard insistent lips which she suddenly remembered with a vividness that left her weak. But he did not kiss her. Disappointment queerly stirring her, she opened her eyes a trifle and ventured a peep at him. His black head was bent over her hands and, as she watched, he lifted one and kissed it and, taking the other, laid it against his cheek for a moment. Expecting violence, this gentle and loverlike gesture startled her. She wondered what expression was on his face but could not tell for his head was bowed.

She quickly lowered her gaze lest he should look up suddenly and see the expression on her face. She knew that the feeling of triumph surging through her was certain to be plain in her eyes. In a moment he would ask her to marry him—or at least say that he loved her and then … As she watched him through the veil of her lashes he turned her hand over, palm up, to kiss it too, and suddenly he drew a quick breath. Looking down she saw her own palm, saw it as it really was for the first time in a year, and a cold sinking fear gripped her. This was a stranger’s palm, not Scarlett O’Hara’s soft, white, dimpled, helpless one. This hand was rough from work, brown with sunburn, splotched with freckles. The nails were broken and irregular, there were heavy calluses on the cushions of the palm, a half-healed blister on the thumb. The red scar which boiling fat had left last month was ugly and glaring. She looked at it in horror and, before she thought, she swiftly clenched her fist.

Still he did not raise his head. Still she could not see his face. He pried her fist open inexorably and stared at it, picked up her other hand and held them both together silently, looking down at them.

“Look at me,” he said finally raising his head, and his voice was very quiet. “And drop that demure expression.”

Unwillingly she met his eyes, defiance and perturbation on her face. His black brows were up and his eyes gleamed.

“So you have been doing very nicely at Tara, have you? Cleared so much money on the cotton you can go visiting. What have you been doing with your hands—plowing?”

She tried to wrench them away but he held them hard, running his thumbs over the calluses.

“These are not the hands of a lady,” he said and tossed them into her lap.

“Oh, shut up!” she cried, feeling a momentary intense relief at being able to speak her feelings. “Whose business is it what I do with my hands?”

What a fool I am, she thought vehemently. I should have borrowed or stolen Aunt Pitty’s gloves. But I didn’t realize my hands looked so bad. Of course, he would notice them. And now I’ve lost my temper and probably ruined everything. Oh, to have this happen when he was right at the point of a declaration!

“Your hands are certainly no business of mine,” said Rhett coolly and lounged back in his chair indolently, his face a smooth blank.

So he was going to be difficult. Well, she’d have to bear it meekly, much as she disliked it, if she expected to snatch victory from this debacle. Perhaps if she sweet-talked him—