For a moment, she closed her eyes, as if in prayer.
But praying, as she knew, no longer got it done.
Perhaps it never had.
The phone rang and she answered it. Listened, making brief notes as she did so. Dialled another number, internal, passed the information on, setting another line of inquiry in motion. It was what you did. Kept going through the procedures, fingers crossed, hoping sooner or later something would fall into your lap.
Much on your plate right now? All under control?
Karen shook her head. You did what was possible. Conscientiously. Avoiding error. And at the end of the day you went home. Never leaving it all quite behind.
As if you could.
27
Cape Cornwall was where Cordon sometimes went when he wanted to be alone and think; also to remember. And marvel. The extremity of the ocean that tipped out at that point against the rock. He zipped up his heavy jacket and started to climb; stood, finally, at the summit, facing out, oblivious to the wind, the cold.
He had come here first with his father, racing him to the top and then, breathless, pointing out beyond the lighthouse to the waves, the possibility of seals, pods of dolphins, basking sharks. His father focusing the binoculars, patient, waiting. The young Cordon anxious, eager to be up and moving, scrambling down the monument then round, faster and faster each time.
âFor God's sake, sit still for a moment. Go on, it won't hurt you, sit.'
And then from his father's rucksack, the brown bread sandwiches, carefully cut; the Thermos flask. The book of birds; of grasses; of wild flowers: neatly annotated, ticked.
Cordon watched now as a little egret â see, he remembered â tugged something from between the pebbles back of the water's edge and flew away. Were there moments, he wondered, when his son, off in Australia, looked up suddenly from whatever he was doing, startled by a memory of something they had done together, father and son, something they had shared?
He shook his head.
Argued, they'd done that. Little else.
Families, it was what they did. Fought, argued, walked out, walked away, tried to keep in touch and failed. Maxine Carlin had gone up to London to see her daughter, prompted by some unnecessary fear, and, not finding her, on her way home, unused to the busy thrust of the London Underground in the rush hour, had fallen under a train and been killed.
Clear as that.
The inquest, the inquiry had found nothing suspicious: accidental death. Her daughter had thrown black earth on to her coffin and walked away.
You want to play the fucking policeman, don't do it with me. We understood?
We were understood.
People wanted help or they didn't.
Friendship the same.
Love, even.
He kicked the toe of his shoe against the hardness of the rock, and, rising, set his back to the sea and took the slower, more winding path back down towards the old chapel that had long been converted to a cattle byre and now sat in partial disrepair. Away to the left, descending, he could see the tall chimney of the Kenidjack arsenic works, which in Victorian times had provided a compound that, when mixed with chalk and vinegar, women, anxious to lighten their complexion, had not only rubbed into their arms and faces but eaten.
He'd learned that from his father, of course, that and the fact that before antibiotics, another compound of arsenic had been used for curing syphilis. When it wasn't being used as poison.
A bit of good and bad in everything.
What his father had believed.
He had just made it to where his car was parked when his mobile rang. Not a number he recognised.
âLook, I'm not sure if I should be phoning you â¦' Clifford Carlin's voice was troubled, shaky. âI didn't know what else to do.'
âWhat's happened?'
âLetitia â she came here after the funeral â¦'
âTell me what's happened.'
âNothing. Nothing, just ⦠ever since she got here ⦠she's been, I don't know, worried. Frightened, even.'
âWhat of?'
âThat's it, she won't say. Not clearly, not exactly. But there have been these calls to the house. And people, she says, driving past, hanging round.'
âYou've seen them? These people?'
âNo, no, not really. But she's not making it up, I'm certain. She's scared. And if you know Letitia, you know she doesn't scare easily.'
âWhat about the police? If she's in some kind of danger.'
âShe won't. She said no. No police.'
âYou phoned me.'
âLike I said, I didn't know what else to do.'
A Land Rover backed into the space alongside him and Cordon moved away, down towards the stone wall that marked the car park off from the land that tumbled down towards the sea.
âAre you still there?' Carlin asked.
âYes, I'm here.'
âThe thing is, Letitia, I don't even think it's herself she's most frightened for. It's the boy.'
The line went dead, leaving Cordon staring out across limitless water.
What boy? he asked himself. What boy?
28
He was three years old. Rising four. He stood close to his mother, face fast against her hip, one hand clinging to the strands that were unravelling from the borrowed jumper she was wearing. Her father's jumper. The boy's grandfather. A lick of dark hair hung loose across his forehead; his brown eyes wide with uncertainty and fear.
âWhat the fuck are you doing here?' Letitia's greeting.
The child flinched at the anger in his mother's voice and clung tighter, closer to tears.
Cordon said nothing.
Off to one side, Clifford Carlin shuffled his feet.
âIt's you, isn't it?' she said. âYou stupid interfering bastard.' Pushing the boy away, she lunged at her father and raked her nails across his cheek.
âChrist, Letitia!'
âStupid, stupid, stupid!' As he turned from her, she pummelled his back with her fists.
âMum! No, Mum, no. Don't. Don't.'
The boy tried to pull her away and she flung out a hand and caught him in the face and for an instant he stopped dead, as if in shock, then screamed.
âOh, Jesus! Now see â see what you've done? The pair of you?'
There was blood at the corner of her son's mouth, starting to trickle down his chin and on to his neck.
âSee what you've made me fucking do?'
âLetitia, listen â¦'
âHere, sweetheart, here. It's all right.' Pulling a tissue from her pocket, she dabbed it at the boy's face. âIt's nothing, really. Just a little cut. There, look. It's already stopped.' Crouching, she hugged him to her. âI'm sorry. Mummy's sorry.'
The two men looked at one another and Clifford Carlin shook his head. A few moments later, without saying anything more, he left the room.
The boy was sobbing now, but quietly, face pressed against his mother's chest.
âLetitia â¦'
âI told him â¦' She spoke to Cordon without yet turning to look at him. âI told him, this stuff that's happening, don't say anything, not to anyone. It'll sort itself out. Leave it be. Say anything to anyone, anyone at all, it'll only make things worse.'
âHe was worried.'
âOf course he was fucking worried. I'm worried. Worried sick. A sight more now you're here.'
âMaybe I can help.'
âYeah?'
âYes, why not? Try, anyway.'
âTry?' She laughed. âFuckin' try?'
She stood to face him.
âSir Lancelot, now, is it? Knights of the Round fucking Table?' She shook her head. âOkay, here we are, me and the kid, in need of rescue maybe and what do we get?' She laughed, ragged and deep. âThat bloke with a broken lance on some old nag. I saw a film about him once. That's you, Cordon, about as much use as a tit in a trance.'
Cordon drew a slow breath and continued to stand where he was, the boy peeking out at him from behind his mother's arm, only looking away when Cordon smiled.
Later.
They were sitting side by side on the stairs, the middle landing. It had seemed as good a place as anywhere. Clifford Carlin had gone in to open up his shop and left them to it.
Cordon sat with a mostly empty can of Carlsberg wedged between his feet; Letitia was drinking vodka and Coke, not the first.
She was still wearing one of her father's old sweaters, faded jeans, feet bare, chipped polish on the toes. She'd pulled her hair away from her face and wiped most of the tiredness from around her eyes. The child was in one of the rooms above them, sleeping, thumb in his mouth, making occasional sucking sounds, a plastic stegosaurus tight in his other hand.
She'd cuddled him close earlier, the pair of them loving, silent; something inside Cordon's gut had twisted like fish caught on a hook.
âYour son,' Cordon said quietly. âI don't even know his name.'
âDanya.'
âDanya?'
âUkrainian. Means gift of God. Some fucking joke.'
âAnd that's what you call him?'
âWhat his father calls him. I call him Danny. Dan.'
âHis father?'
âAnton.'
âAlso from Ukraine?'
âOh, yes. From Odessa. Yellow and blue blood in his veins.' She brought the glass to her mouth, a swallow rather than a sip. âAnton Oleksander Kosach. Oldest of five brothers. Anton, Taras, Bogdah, Parlo, Symon. Parlo and Symon are twins. Bogdah, the third eldest, he's still in the Ukraine.'
âThe rest are here?'
âMost of the time, yes. Anton's here legally. Taras, too, maybe. The others, I'm not so sure.'
âAnd he wants you to come home. Anton. The pair of you. That's what all this is about? The phone calls, whatever. That's what he wants?'
âDanny, that's what he wants. Me, I doubt if he could give a flying fuck. Not any more.'
âBut he wants you to go back, right? To wherever. You and Danny?'
âHis son, he goes on and on about his son. As if I've stolen him away. As if I've no intention of ever going back.'
âAnd have you?'
A pause. Letitia fiddling with her hair. âI don't know.'
âSo he's right?'
âNo, he's not fucking right.'
âBut if you've left him â¦'
âI told you, I just don't know. I don't know, okay?'
âSo what is this?'
âThis?'
âYou and Danny, here?'
âThe funeral, my mum's funeral â Danny, I was going to take him â but then I thought, no, no, time enough for all that. So I brought him here, to my dad, just a few days, right? While I was down in Penzance.'
âHe knew this? Anton, he knew?'
âSort of, yeah.'
âAnd that was okay?'
âOkay? Okay with Anton is he's got you practically under lock an' key, knows where you are every minute of the fuckin' day. Him or his bloody brothers. Only wanted two of 'em to come down all the way to fuckin' Cornwall with me, didn't he? Parlo and Symon. I told him, I don't want no Ukrainian bloody gangsters hangin' round my mum's funeral.'
âIs that what they are then? Gangsters? Some kind of Soviet Mafia?'
She shot him a look, then turned her face away.
Anton, Letitia had told him earlier, had called her mobile when she and the boy hadn't arrived back as expected, called and texted; threatened her, threatened her father, issued ultimatums. Forty-eight hours more. Then he would send someone to bring them back. She had already seen cars passing slowly along the street outside; glimpsed a face she thought she recognised.
Not enough to be sure.
Cordon straightened, stretched his arms. The edge of the step above was sticking uncomfortably into the small of his back.
âWe have to keep sitting on the stairs?'
âNo one's forcing you to sit anywhere.'
âFor God's sake â¦'
âWhat?'
âWhy does everything with you have to be so bloody difficult?'
âBecause it is.'
He shook his head. There was a cry from above them, muffled, Danny caught in a dream.
While she was settling him, Cordon went downstairs. Tipping what remained of his lager down the sink, he set the kettle to boil and started opening cupboards. There was a jar of instant coffee, untroubled for some time, the granules set in a stiff rind that resisted the first taps with a spoon.
âDecent stuff he keeps in the fridge,' Letitia said from the doorway. âAnd there's one of those filter things somewhere. Try the sink.'
Cordon switched on the radio as he waited for the coffee to drip slowly through. The middle of a news broadcast. The economy. Ethnic clashes in Uzbekistan. Afghanistan. Still Afghanistan. When had it all started, the first Anglo-Afghan war? Eighteen thirty-fucking-nine! Wars without fucking end. It made him angry in a way he didn't quite understand. It all seemed so far away, another world. But then, even his own life in Cornwall seemed distant now, something seen through bottled glass, a blur. And this â threats of violence, Ukrainian gangsters, recrimination perhaps the world, the real world, was coming to him?
He found Letitia at the back of the house, smoking a cigarette. The sky above was muddy grey. Beyond the garden end the land rose up towards the cliff top and, on the far side, the sea. Dragging over two plastic chairs, he set the mugs of coffee down on uneven ground.
Letitia was staring off into the middle distance, shapeless in those shapeless clothes, scarcely any make-up on her face, no longer young. Despite everything, Cordon thought, she had some desperate kind of beauty. Beyond looking. Some steeliness; resilience, despite everything.
He wondered if this Anton saw the same.
The mother of his child.
His son.
I doubt if he could give a flying fuck
.
Cordon wondered if that were really true.
Letitia dropped the butt of her cigarette on to the drying earth and pressed down on it with the sole of her shoe. Taking the chair next to Cordon, she picked up her mug of coffee and gave it a sniff.