Good Side of Sin (18 page)

I held up a finger on my other hand, and was about to continue on with my list when he grabbed my hand and got in my face. “That was the
best
experience of my life, Josselyn. The. Best.”

My eyes grew wide with shock. He couldn’t possibly mean that. I recalled the way he had acted: he shoved me away from him and walked off, and then said it should never have happened. What kind of dummy did he think I was?

I jerked my wrist out of his grasp, but didn’t back down the steps away from him. I wasn’t afraid of him anymore. At that moment, I think I could have put Lucifer in his place without even breaking a nail.

I blinked, but held his gaze. I didn’t want to miss the guilt cross his features when I said what I was about to say. I knew I would be able to tell if he was lying if I looked hard enough. “I remember every moment we spent together. It was extremely difficult to convince myself that I had been deceived, that you had tricked me, played me for the fool that I am—that I was.” He started shaking his head again, but I didn’t stop, nor did my tears as they leaked from my eyes. I smiled and held my head up high, despite the traitorous tears, and continued. “I was standing outside Lucifer’s chamber and heard you. Lameria made sure I heard every word you spoke about me to Lucifer. Those words are branded on my mind and I hear them like a record off track, repeating themselves over and over and over again! ‘My aim is to claim another pure soul for you, master, but I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure I could accomplish such a task. Our last visit together wasn’t what I expected, but I have no doubt in my mind that I can get her to give it to me willingly with only one more visit.’ Then, to put the icing on the cake: ‘She’s cute, but one woman cannot keep me satisfied for an eternity. I may play with her for a while, and then give her to someone else that might enjoy a taste.’“

“I was lying—”

“And you actually expect me to believe you are telling me the truth now? That you lied to Lucifer and expected him not to see right through it? I may be naïve, but I’m far from stupid—”

He threw his arms around me and I fought to free myself, but the five souls I had extracted from him and pulled into my body had begun to take their toll on me. I was starting to feel the way Thoros had looked upon my arrival: horrible.

When I couldn’t get loose from his strong, vice-like grip, I gave up and broke down. I didn’t try to hold the tears back anymore and the sobs tore from my chest without warning. He held me tighter and I cried even harder. His hands rubbed my back in comfort and I struggled against him again.

“Josselyn, stop. Stop, damn it!”

I screamed and pushed with all my might, but he growled and held on tighter. I felt air beneath my feet and knew he had picked me up and was running, so I started kicking, not caring what my feet connected with, only that they connected with parts of his body.

I vaguely remember him rushing through his bedroom door, and then I was flying through the air. As soon as my body fell onto his mattress, I sprung up to my feet and kicked a pillow at him.

He caught it with one hand and threw it to the floor, and then pointed his finger at me and roared, “I said stop!” I glared back, but forced myself to calm down a few notches. “I let you speak what was on your mind, and you are damn well going to listen to what’s on mine! Now, sit down!”

I pulled oxygen in through my nostrils and let it all back out in the same way. “I think I’ll stand.”

“Fine!” He flung his hand through the air. “Stand on your head for all I care, but you are going to listen.”

I rolled my eyes and then stepped off the bed to the floor. I sat down on the edge of the mattress, crossed my legs and gave him my best uninterested expression. “I’m waiting.”

He ran his fingers through his brown hair and began to pace in front of me.

“Thoros, I don’t have time for this. You’ve had plenty of time to come up with more lies. Let’s hear ’em.”

He stopped and looked at me, but all the anger had since faded from his features. “I did mind-fuck you, but that was before I knew you. I did force myself on you—more than once, but when you objected I always stopped and let you have your space. I’m not a rapist, Josselyn. I did use you to find out information to use against Murry to get his position as a prince terminated, but you used me to help out Abigail’s soulmate, so I refuse to take the whole blame for that one. And as for information about the status of your friend’s soul… I in no way demanded a kiss as payment. I simply told you of the information I knew, and then asked if I could have one.
You
said yes.”

I looked away from him. He was right. He had justified every accusation so far, but I didn’t see how he was going to smooth talk his way out of the last two.

“Please look at me.” He knelt in front of me and I fought hard to fight the tears again as I looked back at him. I didn’t want to hear it. I thought I could be strong enough to listen to him lie to me and then move on, but now I wasn’t so sure.

“Just don’t, Thoros—”

He growled, shot to his feet and started pacing again. He stopped and turned to look at me again when I stood and started for the door. “You’re not leaving this room until you’ve listened to me! What I have to say isn’t easy, but I need to say it, regardless of whether you want to listen or not!”

“You can’t keep me here! I—”

“Maybe not me, but I know someone who can! Try to fleet and see what happens.”

I tried to fleet, but I might as well have been human, because nothing happened. I started to run for the door and he moved in front of me, grabbed me around my waist and slung me back on the bed.

If he wasn’t keeping me here, then who was? “How did—” I started to turn and question him, but stopped and screamed when I noticed he was airborne and about to land on me.

On instinct, my knee came up the same time he landed, catching him right between the legs.

His body folded in half and fell to the empty spot beside me on the mattress, both hands clutching his precious family jewels as he screamed out in agonizing pain. He lay there helpless and hurting, and I felt like a total horse’s ass.

I covered my face with my hands and shook my head as he moaned. “I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to do that. It’s just that I can feel pain now, I reacted to keep from—”

His heavy breathing calmed a bit and I felt his eyes on me. “You what?”

“I said I was sorry—”

“No, you said you can feel pain now. How is it that you can feel pain?”

I sat up and so did he. I could feel him staring at the side of my head and knew I wouldn’t get out of the room without explaining in detail the jeopardy Heaven was in.

I sighed in defeat. “When the minion came through the portal and possessed Malcolm, it tainted Heaven. The signs were barely noticeable at first, but now it’s clear we are heading straight for a catastrophe.” I looked at his hand, laid casually next to mine on the mattress, and then took it without putting too much thought into it. I placed his palm flat on the center of my chest and looked up to his eyes, waiting for him to feel the rapid beating beneath his fingers.

His eyes widened in amazement and, instead of pulling away, he got to his knees and replaced his hand with his ear, catching me off balance with the added weight. I fell to my back, but he didn’t bother moving his head from my breast.

“Uh, Thoros—”

“Shhh. I’m listening to your heart. I wasn’t sure you actually had one.”

Did he just shush me?
“Seriously?” I said, and pushed him away from me.

He had a smile from ear to ear as he quickly recovered from the shove and propped his head atop his palm. His other arm immediately crossed over my torso and then he pulled me to him, carefully molding my body to his. “You were saying?”

Where the hell did I go wrong?
I gave up. He was physically stronger than me now, and obviously he was getting help from others…
Isaiah.

I groaned out loud and he snuggled me closer to him. “I know about Heaven and Isaiah losing his status as archangel.” He pointed to his head. “He can talk to me, remember?”

“Yeah, I’ve just recently learned that. How long have you known?” I snapped at him.

He ignored my sharp tone and let his head fall to my shoulder, so his lips were only a breath away from my neck when he spoke. “That we are soulmates? Since the first time you kissed me.”

My head whipped around to see if he was lying. It didn’t appear that he was, but he was really good with masking his emotions. “I don’t believe you.”

He raised his eyebrows and shrugged. “It’s the truth. It scared the shit out of me. Don’t be angry with me, but I wanted to keep you. I wanted you to agree to stay with me in Hell, in my private chamber in the Syde of Lust. I knew that I liked you and that I wanted you, but I didn’t know why I wanted you so badly until you kissed me. My plan totally backfired on me. I wanted you to be my property, but the instant our lips met, I wanted to be yours. I knew then that you would never be happy in Hell with me and there was no way I was getting into Heaven, so I pushed you away. Lameria got into my head and realized the feelings I have for you; she used them against me. She told Lucifer and that’s why he sent her to kidnap you and let you overhear me lie to him; they both knew I would do anything to keep you safe. But they also knew you would hate me if you’d heard my words… which turns out to be true.” He sighed. “I knew if I told him the truth that he would use you against me to make Rhyan fail or perhaps even kill you right then and make me watch. I was only buying myself some time so I could keep you safe.” He was quiet for a moment, and then chuckled lightly. “Smart bastard saw the whole thing coming. I’m just proud it worked out for Rhyan and Abigail and they helped me get you out.”

I sat up and looked back down at him. “Rhyan got me out of Hell. You had nothing to do with that. I know. I was there, Thoros. Don’t try to take credit that isn’t yours!”

I turned and swung my feet to the floor, then just sat on the edge of the bed for a minute. My heart felt like it was shattered, but I couldn’t listen to his lies anymore. “I’ve listened to you. May I go now?”

There was a long moment of silence, and then he huffed. “Yeah—get out of here.”

With that, I stood and walked out of the room.

He shoved another armload full of socks and t-shirts on top of jeans in a duffel bag, then turned to walk to the bathroom to retrieve personal hygiene items. He barely glanced up to acknowledge Isaiah, arms crossed over his chest in a comfortable stance, leaning on the doorjamb.

“Going somewhere?” Isaiah asked coolly.

“As far away from here as I can get,” he responded from the darkened bathroom.

“You do know there is a meeting about to begin downstairs, right?”

Thoros nodded once as he re-entered the bedchamber, not bothering to look at the archangel. He tossed the items in the duffle with the rest of the things he would need for his extended journey. “I am aware of the meeting. I am also aware that she does not want or need me there.” He looked left then right, and then paused only another brief moment before zipping the bag closed and tossing it over his right shoulder.

Thoros meant to walk through the doorway, but Isaiah stood upright and blocked the only exit with his body. Well, there was always the window. He thought about turning and diving through the glass and wondered briefly if he would clear the cement and land in the water of the underground swimming pool. The cement would hurt like a bitch. Hell, who was he kidding? The damn glass would hurt! He knew fleeting wasn’t an option. The angel would have already put a halt on that shit.

Letting the pack fall to the floor, Thoros rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and huffed. “Out of my way, old man. She made it clear she doesn’t want me. If you didn’t hear her, I can give you a recap: it was a whole lot of ‘get lost’.”

“Old man? I’ll have you know I look younger than you. Especially as of late. You should exfoliate more, and moisturize.”

“You knew what I meant.”

“That I am thousands of years old? Yes,” Isaiah nodded as his lips pursed together. “I am that. That also means I probably have a lot of wisdom, and listening to me would more than likely be in your best interest.”

“Listening to you has done nothing but piss me off, angel.”

“You have to go with her. You have to know that it is difficult for her to trust you when she has thought all along that you’ve betrayed her.”

Thoros’ jaw locked down tight and he spoke through his teeth as anger burst from the depths of his half-soul. “Yeah, and whose fault was that? You could have told her at any time in the three months we’ve spent apart that
I
was the one who saved her. That
I
am the one she is destined to be with. But no, instead, you were a coward who let her dream day and night about going in search of the lost angel, a male
fate
never intended her to be with!”

Isaiah moved out of the way to let him pass and Thoros jumped at the chance, grabbing his duffle and rushing through the doorway. “I see. You are just going to take the easy way out? Never look back? Never see her again?”

“Oh, I’ll see her again,” he said, but didn’t bother slowing down or looking at the archangel. “I’ll see her every time I close my eyes.”

“She deserves for you to give her time, Thoros. If you truly love her, then you must know that walking away is not the answer to your problems.”

Thoros froze as his boot landed on the third step from the bottom of the grand staircase.
Love.
He allowed himself a moment to think about that word. His skin flushed hot and his foot slipped to the next step, causing him to lose his balance and having to reach out for the banister to steady himself. He believed she was his soulmate and that he wanted to be with her—
but love? No. Love
?
Never.
He had never been in love before.
Was this what this horrible feeling was? And what happened if the one you allowed yourself to fall in love with didn’t love you back? What the hell happens then? Right. Broken heart. That’s what the horrible feeling was. Fan-fucking-tastic!
He had never expected to experience it before, but he never imagined it would actually hurt. He rubbed at the center of his chest and fought the hot sting of tears that filled his eyes. He looked around him, all of a sudden dizzy. Wiping at the sheen of sweat that had broken on his brow, Thoros swallowed hard and concentrated on calming the erratic beating of his heart.