Good to Me (18 page)

If he did not know better, he would have sworn that Charity had something to do with this. She was always trying to get him
to see a therapist.

“No thanks.” He looked at his watch, hoping the doctor got the message that his time was up.

“Well, if you change your mind let us know. A social worker may be able to help you talk to your mother about your moving
out. I’d like for her to stay overnight and be discharged in the morning. So you have until then to think about it.” He stuck
his hand out for another handshake.

Emmitt hesitated, then weakly shook his hand. Anything to get him on his way.

He tiptoed back into the room. He was relieved that she was still sleeping.

IESHA LOOKED THROUGH HER CD COLLECTION.
After a long day at the office she needed some working music. Something energizing, because it was going to take an all-nighter
to get the house in decent shape. She selected her Missy Elliott CD and put it on track number 2. She danced all the way to
Raquan’s and Sha-Lai’s rooms to make sure they were cleaning underneath their beds. If she had gotten on them once, she had
gotten on them a thousand times about stashing dirty clothes, books, and toys under there. The beds housed more clothes than
the closets, and the closets were still cluttered. Clothes strewn on the top shelf, clothes halfway hung in the middle, and
clothes fallen atop their shoes on the floor. “These chaps are trifling,” she muttered. She shuddered, realizing how much
she sounded like her mother.

“Momma, I found my Yu-Gi-Oh! trading cards,” Raquan said, looking up at her and showing her his finds.

“It’s amazing what you’ll find when you look for things. What else is under there?”

“Clothes,” he sang while going through the heap of items. “My other Power Ranger bedroom shoe, socks, my LeapFrog Pad—”

She didn’t have the time to hear him sing each item he’d discovered. “Put those clothes in the hamper and those toys in your
toy box, please.” She stepped out of his room and moonwalked to Missy’s beat down to Sha-Lai’s room. Sha-Lai had finished
cleaning underneath her bed and was straightening her closet.

“How’re you doing in here?”

“Good. What do you want me to do after this?”

“You ain’t nowhere near done with that closet. You’ll need to get a chair so you can fold those sweaters on that top shelf.
All of the clothes and shoes you can’t wear, bag it up. We’ll take it to The Salvation Army. After you’ve done that, you can
clean out that toy chest.”

“Okay,” Sha-Lai replied, and returned to rehanging her clothes.

Iesha watched her daughter like she was someone else’s child.
Who is this compliant child and what did she do with my sassy-mouthed daughter?
She left Sha-Lai in her room and walked back to the living room so that she could vacuum and dust. It dawned on her that the
school meeting must have scared Sha-Lai, too. She hadn’t been a problem since Monday when it all happened. Iesha sprinkled
deodorizer on the carpet and began to vacuum.

She jumped when she saw the front door open. If the vacuum cleaner hadn’t been so loud she would’ve heard Mama Lorraine come
in.

“Girl, that thing makes more noise than it picks up dust,” Mama Lorraine said. “Turn that toy off. I got the real deal out
in the car. We gone steam this nasty rug.”

Keeping her children depended on whether or not she passed this inspection, so her mother’s comments were more comforting
than offending. “Where’s the steamer at? In the back or in the trunk?”

“In the trunk. Grab that box beside it while you’re out there.”

On her way out, she heard her mother call for Sha-Lai and Raquan. “Where my grandbabies at?”

It took everything she had not to slam the door behind her mother. It was past eleven o’clock and Mama Lorraine would’ve still
been cleaning if Iesha had let her. After Mama Lorraine failed to catch Iesha’s third hint that it was time for her to leave,
she called her father and told him to tell her to come home. That almost failed. As far as Iesha could tell, the house was
clean hours ago. She worked alongside as Mama Lorraine led her into washing walls, scrubbing floorboards, cleaning the oven
and refrigerator, and mopping every floor in the house, including the visible spaces between the washer and dryer. Iesha surveyed
the place as she went from room to room to turn out lights. The house was so clean one could eat off the floors.

She was gathering her things and preparing for a shower when she heard a knock. She figured that Mama Lorraine must’ve left
something. She swung the door open without asking who was knocking.

“Momma—”

The two men laughed. “You know Mama Lorraine is in bed,” one of them offered.

If looks could kill, Kenny and Nookie would be on their way to Beasley’s Funeral Home. Iesha looked them up and down and rolled
her eyes. She could tell by their glossy red eyes that they were high.

“May I help you?”

“Oh, so it’s like that now? You gotta take our orders for us to see our kids?”

She turned back to look at the wall clock. “In case you didn’t know,” she said, facing them again, “my kids are asleep by
nine o’clock. And since I’m taking orders, I regret to inform you that the drive-thru is closed for tonight.” She tried to
slam the door, but Kenny held his foot in the way.

“You ain’t got to be nasty. My child support is current. How about yours, man?”

Nookie took a step forward. “Mine too.” And they walked past her into the house.

She followed them. “Your child support doesn’t give you a season pass to use whenever you feel like it.”

“Girl, chill out,” Kenny warned, including a few choice words. “Since when do you have a problem with us stopping by?” They
made themselves at home on the living room couch. Nookie reached for the remote control and turned the television to BET.

She cursed herself for being stupid.
As long as I’m a mother, this is the price I gotta pay for getting mixed up with these two fools
. Kenny and Iesha grew up together on Rush Avenue. He was three years older and was like a big brother to both her and Charity.
Even Mama Lorraine called him the son she never had. He organized many street games for the neighborhood children to play.
He taught Iesha and the others football, softball, volleyball, and kickball. Iesha knew Kenny liked her because she was such
a tomboy and could play just as well as any neighborhood boy.

As things began to change, so did their relationship. Iesha’s body was one of the first things to change. Mama Lorraine thought
Kenny was just coaching Iesha in sports, but he began coaching her in other personal matters, like sex. Her behavior varied,
and she and Mama Lorraine were always arguing about something. She remembered how Kenny had come to her saying that Mama Lorraine
had asked him to talk to Iesha for her, because he was the only one who could put some sense into her head. Kenny then urged
Iesha to tell her mother about the baby. She was five months’ pregnant when she told her parents.

She was so into her thoughts, she didn’t notice that Nookie had gone outside. He was returning with a twelve-pack of beer.

“Y’all have to go,” she admonished. “I’m not down with our little get-togethers anymore.”

Nookie handed Kenny a beer and offered the same to Iesha. She held up her hand. She knew he was probably used to her resisting
the first drink and then giving in. But she was determined to uphold the commitment she made to God. “I don’t drink anymore.”

Nookie pursed his lips. “Since when?”

“None of your business,” she frowned. “I have to work tomorrow, so I’d appreciate if y’all just left. You can see the kids
tomorrow.”

Nookie twisted off the bottle’s metal cap. He sipped the beer. “Pass the Heineken and mind your business,” he sang, mocking
an old LL Cool J song.

She rolled her eyes and got out of her chair to turn the off television. Although Kenny had a lot of mouth, he was more tolerable
than his cousin Nookie. Sha-Lai had not yet turned two when Kenny was arrested for drug trafficking. For the six months that
he was away, he made arrangements through Nookie, his partner-in-crime, to financially support Iesha. On one of her many lonely
nights without Kenny, she confided in Nookie and one thing led to another. The moment happened so fast that it was still a
blur in her mind. Yet, in spite of all the drama, the three of them remained friends and had become closer than they were
initially. When one of the guys would come to take his child out for a visit, he would take the other child as if it were
his own. Kenny and Nookie financially supported both children.

“Did you give up this too?” Kenny asked, waving a thick marijuana blunt in the air.

“Yes,” she answered weakly.

Kenny lit the blunt and took a long, deep drag. “This some… good stuff… here,” he choked. She sighed out of frustration,
inhaling the pungent aroma. She remembered the house inspection tomorrow.

“Nookie!” she yelled. “Get your drunk behind out of here.” She jumped up to pick up the beer bottle he dropped on the floor.
“Man, you got beer everywhere.”

She walked to the door. “Ya’ll got a choice. You can get your mess and go voluntarily or I can call the police and have you
escorted out involuntarily. Take your pick.” By the way they moved, she knew they could tell she wasn’t playing.

Charity chuckled, thinking about Mama Lorraine and Iesha cleaning together.
Better her than me
. She waited for peace before ending her prayer. She prayed protection for Iesha and thanked God in advance for His favor
with her home inspection. She thanked God for keeping her motives pure and guiding her fingers as she wrote a response to
Minister Joseph Nelson.

She turned on the computer in her home office and read his letter again to see how she should respond. Although he requested
photos of her, she decided she wouldn’t send any. She picked up his picture. His smile was contagious. She could not help
returning a smile. But her smile faded remembering where he was.
Lord, what is this feeling in my heart? Why am I thinking about this man? Wondering about him? He’s in jail and will be for
another three years. I ain’t waiting on Emmitt that long, let alone a man in jail.

She decided to pray for Minister Nelson and send a short note to let him know that she’d cover him in prayer. She typed a
letter on her ministry letterhead, hoping to convey that she wasn’t interested in a personal relationship. This was strictly
business. She typed out five sentences, expressing her gratitude for his kind words about the article and signed off by letting
him know that she would continue to pray for him. She read her letter several times to make sure it could not be misconstrued
in any way.

It was Thursday, and Emmitt was anxious to take a break. His mother hadn’t been home from the hospital twenty-four hours
and yet she was working him overtime. Her latest request was a glass of Pepsi over ice.

“Anything else?” he asked, handing her the beverage.

She sat up in bed. “I-hiiiii,” she sipped. “No, baby, this is it. Thank you.”

“I’m getting ready to run some errands. Do you need anything while I’m out?”

“Where are you going?”

A scowl came across his face. “Momma, do you need anything?”

“I ain’t trying to be in your business. I was just asking where you were going so I wouldn’t have you going out of your way.”

He gave her the same look he gave Dr. Metcalf, letting her know he was not convinced. “I’m taking Shawanda to Wal-Mart and
then we’re taking Destiny to that McDonald’s with the indoor playground.”

“Umph. I don’t know what you see in that little bald-headed girl, and her little ugly baby—”

“Ma, do you want something from Wal-Mart or McDonald’s?”

“Boy, get your draws out of your butt. You weren’t that protective over your own wife, and you gone disrespect me for a floozie.”

“I’m sorry, Ma—”

“Now, I appreciate you taking care of me but you are not going to treat me any kind of way in my own house. If you gone disrespect
me, don’t even call me Momma, just call me Elaine.” She put her hand over her chest.

“Momma, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” He saw a tear slide down her cheek. ”I just hate being a burden to you. You don’t deserve a sickly mother.
I just wish I would go on to glory so you wouldn’t have to take care of me. I know you would move out on your own if I weren’t
so sick, wouldn’t you?”

He didn’t know how to respond and thought carefully before he spoke. “Momma, don’t talk like that. You’re not a burden to
me. I’m your oldest son and all you have, why wouldn’t I take care of you?” He wiped her tear and brought the bottle of medication
she asked for. He watched her chase down the anti-anxiety pills with Pepsi. He stayed with her until he felt comfortable leaving.
And that was not until an hour and a half later, when she’d fallen asleep.

He left the house angry, feeling the same way he had when he and Charity were together. He had chosen his mother over his
relationship again. Shawanda was going to be pissed at him for not answering his cell phone, or returning her messages over
the past two hours. He psyched himself up to face her. She would just have to understand that his mother is sick and needs
him.
If she can’t understand that, then she can do just what Charity did, leave me alone. Don’t make me no never mind
.

Charity thought about her session with Mr. Wright and laughed. He completed the homework assignment she’d given him. The three
black women he could positively relate to were Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Queen Latifah. He said that he had always
been impressed by their roles in the movie
Set It Off
. If she didn’t know any better she would swear that he’d stopped taking his medications. He seemed to be tired today. He
didn’t have too much to say and he wasn’t as grandiose as he had been on Monday. “That man is crazy,” she mused. As well educated
as he seemed, Charity thought that he would have identified at least one historical black female. Charity flipped to the front
of his chart to see where he worked. He was the owner of Wright Away Auto Detailing. She pretended to shiver.
I wouldn’t let that man touch my car with a ten-foot pole
.