Gourmet Meals in Crappy Little Kitchens (7 page)

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Authors: Jennifer Schaertl

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Crabtastic Avocado Cakes

Serves 25

No gourmet chef's repertoire is complete without a knock-your-socks-off crab cake recipe. And this is the one. Because these crab cakes are “fried” in the oven, we only need to use our sauté pan once. Form the cakes and freeze them up to three days before your party, and they'll be ready to pop in the oven right before your guests arrive.

3 ripe avocados, large

2 limes, juiced

6 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

1 cup small diced yellow onion

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 inch piece of fresh ginger, minced

¼ cup small diced red bell pepper

1 jalapeno, small dice with most seeds removed

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

½ cup bread crumbs

½ cup heavy cream

2 eggs

1 pound lump crabmeat

1 pound select crabmeat

Sea salt, to taste

Pepper, to taste

1 cup Chipotle Aioli (p. 198)

2 limes, thinly sliced

1
Prepare the avocado as described on page 40 and place it in a large bowl with the lime juice. Set aside.

2
Put your 12-inch sauté on medium heat. Add 3 tablespoons of olive oil and allow it to heat up. Sauté the onion, garlic, ginger, bell pepper, and jalapeno together until the onions are translucent, about 8 minutes. Add the butter and allow it to melt. Add the bread crumbs and allow them to toast in the butter while absorbing the moisture from the vegetables. Add the cream and turn off the heat while stirring. Fold in the eggs quickly to temper them (brings the eggs slowly up to the temperature of the cream which keeps them from scrambling when the crab cakes bake in the oven.

3
Add the sautéed mixture to the bowl of avocado. Gently fold in the crabmeat, trying to maintain the shape of the lump crab and avocado. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Using your . measuring cup (you should get approximately 50 to 60 cakes), portion out the crab mix onto a sheet tray lined with wax paper, wrap tightly with plastic wrap, and put into the freezer for 30 minutes. Once frozen, you can pop them into a freezer bag and freeze for up to 3 days.

4
Preheat your oven to 500°. Using your pastry brush, spread 3 tablespoons of olive oil on a baking sheet and evenly space the frozen crab cakes ½-inch apart. Put them in the oven to brown for 15 minutes and then rotate the pan to roast another 10 to 15 minutes or until golden 5Arrange brown. the lime slices on your platter or serving tray, and set a warm crab cake on each slice, and add a small dot of chipotle aioli on each cake. Serve immediately.

Chefology

CRABMEAT

Lump crabmeat represents the whole pieces of the white body meat, while select meat is small bits of light and dark meat from the body and claws. When it comes to crabmeat, you want to keep all the lumps intact, while removing all the shells. Use your clean hands to gently sort through the crabmeat. Don't shred the meat while you do this, but gently squeeze the bits between your thumb and index finger to detect any small broken bits of shell and remove them.

For a Good Time Call . . .
Champagne Oysters

Serves 6

As bold a statement that oysters make, this recipe is incredibly CLK friendly. All you need is a butter knife, a dishtowel, a sheet tray, and a 1-quart saucepot.

1½ cups brut Champagne

3 tablespoons minced chives, plus 1 inch strips for garnish

12 fresh oysters

Rock salt, as needed

3 ounces unsalted butter

Sea salt, to taste

1
Preheat your oven to 400°. Heat a 1-quart saucepot over medium-high heat, and add the Champagne and chives, bringing them to a boil. Allow the liquid to evaporate until the Champagne has reduced by half.

2
While you wait for the liquid to reduce, place the shucked oysters on a sheet tray. If some of the shells are wobbly and uneven, level them out by putting a small pile of rock salt under them. Place the sheet tray in the oven and roast the oysters for five minutes. When removing them from the oven, be careful not to lose any of the juice inside the shells.

Did You Know This Crap?

If you buy affordable Champagne, it's probably not a true Champagne at all, but rather a sparkling wine. Real Champagne is only produced within the Champagne region of France and comes with a steep price tag.

How to Shuck Oysters

Hold a thick dishtowel in the center of your weaker hand and use it as a cushion to grasp an oyster. The oyster's hinge should face the crook in your thumb and index finger. Take a butter knife (don't use anything sharper—you could easily cut yourself!), and insert the tip between the two shells against the little protrusion (it will look like a hinge). While applying firm pressure, wiggle the blade between the shells and pry them apart. Now take your paring knife and carefully separate the top shell and discard it. Run the knife along the bottom shell, cutting through the two muscles to free the oyster, but leave it (and its juices) in the shell. Repeat with the remaining oysters.

3
Turn the heat down to low on the reduced Champagne. Slowly (a tablespoon at a time) whisk the butter into the reduced Champagne. Then whisk quickly, to emulsify the butter and Champagne. Remove the saucepan from 4Pour the heat and season to taste with salt. rock salt onto a serving tray and arrange the oysters on top. Spoon about a teaspoon of Champagne butter sauce over each oyster on the half shell, and top with a strip of chive at an angle over the oyster, like a sword. Serve immediately.

Scallops Ceviche

Serves 6 to 8

Ceviche is a perfect summertime entertaining appetizer. A popular dish in the warm coastal regions of South America, it is prepared in a centuries-old method of cooking seafood through its contact with the acidic juice of citrus instead of heat. Considering this recipe “cooks” itself in a disposable bag, well I just don't think it gets any more CLK friendly than that!

15 U-10 sea scallops

1 lime

1 cup freshly squeezed lime juice

2 garlic cloves, chopped

1 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Sea salt, to taste

15 scallop shells, scrubbed clean

½ cup thinly sliced shallots

3 tablespoons chopped cilantro

1
Remove the white muscle or “foot” from the side of each scallop. This is the slightly off-white flap on the side of the scallop, and it will peel off quite easily.

2
Zest the lime, and add the zest along with the lime juice, garlic, and red pepper flakes to a freezer bag, and then season to taste with salt. Add the sea scallops and make sure they are all immersed in the lime juice. Close tightly and refrigerate about 4 hours—but no longer than 8.

Did You Know This Crap?

U-10 indicates that you will get under (thus the “U”)ten scallops (or shrimp) to the pound. So U-10 scallops are a nice big size.

How to Zest a Lime

Take a whole washed lime, and rub it up and down on the fine grating side of your box grater. You only want to zest the outer colored part of the lime peel because the white pith is bitter. Instead of using your box grater, you can use your vegetable peeler to slice off the colored peel then mince it with your chef's knife.

3
A few minutes before serving, place the scallop shells on your serving platter and set 1 scallop inside each shell. Dip the sliced shallots in the ceviche marinade to dress them, and place a pinch on top of each scallop. Garnish with the chopped cilantro and serve immediately.

Swap It

IF YOU'RE IN A HURRY, you can use bay scallops, which are small and need to marinate for only 30 minutes.

Hot-and-Bothered
Dragonfly Prawns

Serves 10

Leave the tails on the shrimp, they serve as nifty handles for the appetizer, making the need for utensils (and washing them later) unnecessary.

¼ cup sea salt, plus more to taste for sauce

¼ cup granulated sugar

2 cups water

4 cups ice

20 medium prawns, peeled and deveined

3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, for oiling sheet tray

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1 cup cubed seedless watermelon

1 tablespoon honey

3 tablespoons prepared horseradish

3 lemons, sliced thin into 20 slices

1 small bunch cilantro

1
Preheat your oven to 300°. Add the ¼ cup of sea salt, sugar, and water to a 1-quart saucepan, and place over high heat. Simmer and stir until the sugar and salt are dissolved, then remove from heat. Add the ice to chill the brine (brine is simply salted water), and once cold, add the prawns and allow them to brine for 20 minutes.

2
Remove the prawns from the brine, pat dry with a clean towel, and put them on a lightly oiled baking sheet to keep them from sticking. Lightly dust the prawns with cayenne and bake them for 4 minutes. Turn them over, allow them to cool on the pan, and then refrigerate them.

Did You Know This Crap?

Biologically, prawns and shrimp are distinct, but in cooking circles, the terms can be used interchangeably, although the word prawn is often used to describe any large shrimp.

How to Devein Shrimp

Pull off the head (if it is still attached) and legs. Starting with the head end, pull off the outer shell. For the purposes of this recipe, keep the last segment of shell and the tail tip on. Using a paring knife, cut along the outer edge of the shrimp's back, about ¼-inch deep. Remove and discard the vein that runs along the surface of the back.

3
In your blender, combine the watermelon, honey, and horseradish and puree until smooth. Season to taste with salt. If you like your cocktail sauce spicier, add more horseradish.

4
Arrange the lemon slices on your platter or serving tray. Lay a prawn in the center of each lemon slice, with two cilantro leaves poking out from beneath like wings. Drizzle the cocktail sauce the length of the prawn and serve immediately.

Get Freaky Tzatziki
(tsah-ZEE-kee)

Serves 12

This is a classic Greek yogurt and cucumber sauce that's light and refreshing and perfect to enjoy in hot weather.

1 English cucumber, ½ cup small dice and slice the rest of the cucumber into disks

4 scallions, sliced

1 garlic clove, minced

1 cup plain Greek yogurt

¼ cup chopped fresh mint

Sea salt, to taste

Pepper, to taste

4 whole wheat pitas, cut into wedges

1
Preheat your oven to 350°.

2
Combine the cucumber, scallions, garlic, yogurt, and mint in a small bowl. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Cover tightly and refrigerate up to two days in advance, freeing up lots of time and preparation space the day of your get-together (very CLK friendly)!

3
Put the pita wedges on a sheet tray and toast for 10 minutes.

4
To serve, place an ice-cold bowl of tzatziki in the center of a platter surrounded by warm pita chips and crisp cucumber chips.

Did You Know This Crap?

Choose an English or seedless cucumber, which is also known as burpless since it doesn't cause any intestinal distress. These cucumbers are wrapped in plastic and therefore ship and keep well. They don't require peeling so you can leave the skin intact for the beautiful green color and for less work in your CLK.

Superior
Soups

Soups and Crappy Kitchens go hand in hand.

What could be easier than combining a crap load of ingredients into one big pot to create a delicious, nutritious meal? While soups are valued for the comfort they bring, they also showcase your talent as a chef. Many say the ability to make a well-executed soup is a true sign of an accomplished chef. Try your hand at these recipes, and you'll be on your way to gourmet chefdom.

I will show you how to up the ante on your soup-making game so your creations not only provide comfort but also tantalize your taste buds.

Most of my recipes make ten or more servings of soup. If you're not inviting over a crowd, I recommend freezing the leftovers in single serving containers that can be microwaved for a steaming hot gourmet meal in minutes! You'll get several delicious no-mess meals you and your CLK will love.

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