Gracie Faltrain Gets it Right (Finally) (10 page)

‘I look stupid in this uniform. My arms are too long for the sleeves.' Annabelle leans in to fix my bow tie. Her breath is minty. Mine isn't. It's Sunday and I'm nervous about my first shift. I'm nervous about her standing so close.

She explains how much everything costs and how the register works. I can't remember the price of the chips but I can tell you that when Annabelle talks, her earrings move from side to side. She's wearing a bracelet with stars hanging on it. I don't reckon I've ever seen a girl smile as much as her.

‘So now the last thing is the popcorn. You put the corn in here.' She opens the silver box that hangs in the middle of the machine. ‘You shut the door. You press this button. And then you wait.' Her arm accidentally bumps mine and I get this shock of static. ‘Sorry,' she says.

‘No problem.' I stand there wishing she'd bump me again.

‘When it's ready, it pops,' Annabelle says. Nothing
happens. She bumps me again. ‘It'll happen,' she says. ‘It always happens when you least expect it.'

After work Annabelle drives us to the beach. The water makes me feel calm, like if you opened me up there'd be only echoes, not those memories of mum that used to crack at me over and over. ‘I sat on the beach most nights when Joe and I were away,' I tell her. ‘I loved that quiet.'

‘Did you go back to that place on the postcard?' she asks. The kiss she gave me that day hangs in the air. Part of me reckons she only kissed me because she felt sorry for me. Joe says sympathy kisses from girls are a myth, though. ‘They won't do it, mate. Not if they don't like you.'

‘I went to that beach after I spoke to you,' I tell her. ‘But not again. No point in backtracking when there are so many towns I haven't seen. Do you visit places you went with your dad?'

‘It was too hard. I didn't even want to dream about him. I remember the day of his funeral Mum put me to bed for a while and I dreamt that he was alive again. It was the worst thing, waking up and realising it was the other way round.'

‘What did he die of?'

‘Cancer.' It's a full stop, so I don't ask any more. I let the ocean dip the silence up and down a little. I know what it's like to be pushed.

‘I wanted to run,' she says after a while, ‘like you all did at soccer. I wanted to run away from Dad lying in bed, disappearing a bit more every day. I thought holding his hand would keep him there. He tried to make jokes but I knew it wasn't funny. People don't think kids get it but they get it better than anyone.'

I feel lucky while Annabelle talks. I might not want to see Mum yet but she's alive. She's waiting somewhere.

‘On the last day Dad held my hand and said, “It's time to let go, Annie. Have a good life. Have it for me.” Kally was there at the hospital but she wasn't in the room when he died. I don't think Mum meant me to be there either, but I couldn't stop looking at him. His skin turned to water and he sank beneath it. I wished I could play soccer with you and forget about him sinking.'

‘I reckon we were all playing to forget things. Flemming forgets how he's failing school. Faltrain forgot her dad leaving in Year 10.'

‘I was so jealous of her, because he came back.'

We sit for a while and our pasts hang in the warm air. I roll down the window and let in the cold. ‘I love the smell of salt,' Annabelle says. I look at her. I look at the ocean. I grin. ‘No way,' she says. ‘It's freezing.'

‘Only till you're swimming around in it.'

‘Yeah, because then you're too numb to care.'

She doesn't move and after a while I say, ‘We should definitely come back and swim in the summer.'

‘Definitely,' she says.

And I try to keep my grin smaller than the ocean.

Brrrrr, brrrrr. You get it, Faltrain? I'm a pair of clippers.

You're an idiot.

He's an idiot with hair, which is something you won't be in July. Why'd you take that bet?

You took it too.

Yeah, but I'm gonna win.

Maybe if you shaved your head your brain would have a chance of seeing the light once in a while, Flemming.

I think we should all be reasonable about this. Women are as capable as men.

Yeah, in the kitchen.

Remember, there are lots of knives in the kitchen, Jason.

Take that, caveman.

Nerd.

I'd rethink that last comment if I were you, mate.

Hot nerd.

That's better.

This is going to be great. I have the twenty-second marked on my calendar. It's Christmas in July.

‘My cousin's playing in that match, Susan. You know, the one you hurt when you were trying to get at Gracie?'

‘Get a sense of humour, Annabelle.'

‘Okay.' I tip my yoghurt on her head. ‘You're right. That was funny.'

Maybe Martin's rubbing off on me or maybe I'm growing up about ten years too late, but high school is so . . . high school. Get over it, everyone.

In my free today I work on the oval. It doesn't mean I'm cheating on Brett if Andrew happens to be there. ‘Hey, Alyce,' he calls, and walks over. ‘Using your spare to wag again?'

‘I got sick of the library.'

‘I'm with you there.' He sits down. ‘Done anything more about your UN application?'

‘There's no point. If I don't mail it in two weeks I'll miss the deadline.'

‘Last year you said the program took people under twenty-five. You've got six years. Would Ban Ki-moon give up?' he asks, and runs off to kick goals. I look down and make a list of all the volunteer work I could do. I only look up to watch him every now and then.

Getting home takes forever this afternoon; the bus is late. I use the time to dream about Andrew saying Ban Ki-moon and smelling like sweaty licorice today. I look at my list for
volunteer work. I've found ten possible places. One's not far from this bus stop.

The lady who's always here hunches forward. ‘It's late again,' she says. ‘It's my taxes that pay the driver.' She looks at me. ‘You don't pay taxes. You're a kid sucking up space.' She moves closer and her shopping bags touch my feet. I keep my eyes ahead. I pretend to sneeze so I can cover my mouth and nose and block out her musty skin and hair. When the bus comes I sit as far away from her as I can. And I neatly cross old people's homes off my list.

‘I can't believe the amount of talk this bet is causing,' I say to Kally on Tuesday afternoon at the gym. ‘I'm getting more crap than the time I stuck my tongue in Nick Johnson's ear.'

‘Yeah, what was that about?'

‘Penalty shot gone wrong,' I say, and start my bicep curls. ‘Where's Dan?'

‘At the dentist. So, I haven't called home, yet. Have you?'

‘No.' I've been thinking about it all day, wondering if there was a letter waiting for me in the box telling me I'm cut. ‘I think Tuesday's going to become my least favourite day.'

‘We'll finish here and call at the same time. You don't have to worry. I'm the one who stuffed up the first week. Have you thought about how to get us ready for the state practice match?'

‘We need more than Dan and Corelli to give the girls a taste of what it'll be like. All the guys I know are in on the
bet, or they're betting on the bet. The only neutral boy I can think of is Martin and he's not an option.'

‘You still miss him, huh?'

I can't believe I'm about to give such sensitive information to Annabelle Orion's cousin. ‘I don't want him back anymore. But when things happen like this bet I really miss him. He'd tell me I was stupid but he'd help me win so I could keep my hair.'

‘Like Dan.'

‘Yeah. Only Martin and I have known each other since Year 7. It's weird to go from telling someone every single thing to telling them nothing.'

‘I know what you mean. I broke up with my boyfriend before I moved here. I didn't want any distractions but I wanted to keep him as a friend.'

‘What happened?'

‘I called him a few times after I got here. He never called back.'

‘That's crap.'

‘He was a good guy, like Martin. He was hurt, that's all. Anyway, I've got Annie and Dan. I didn't need him as a friend as much as I thought.'

Last year I would have said calling Annabelle Orion ‘Annie' was like calling a fanged dog ‘Fluffy'. But if Kally and Dan like Annabelle then maybe she's not a complete dog. I hope Jane's wrong about that whole apocalypse thing.

Kally puts down her weights and picks up her phone. ‘Okay, on the count of three, ring home. One, two, three.' We dial. I talk to my dad. She talks to her aunt. I can tell by her smile that she's still in. And so am I.

It's good to have a friend trying for the state. Jane and Alyce would understand my disappointment if I was cut. But they wouldn't feel it. Not like Kally.

The good news is Dan, Flemming, Corelli, Singh and Francavilla made it through the first cut for the boys' state squad. The bad news is that Truck did, too. ‘You'll lose the bet whether he's in or not,' Flemming says on Thursday.

‘You're not helping. Either be positive or shut up.'

‘Okay. I think you'll look great without hair.'

‘I'm getting crap from everyone else; I don't need it from my friends.'

‘Maybe your new friends are the problem.'

Flemming did that yesterday, too. He says ‘Dan' and ‘Kally' like he says ‘idiot' and ‘homework'. I've asked him to train with us but he won't. I've started changing the subject.

‘Where's your apron?' I ask, tying mine on.

‘I'm not in the mood to cook.'

‘Well, get in the mood. I can't afford to wag anymore and neither can you. The Food Tech practice assessment is today.'

‘There's another prac before the real thing; we'll be there
for that one. Have a kick with me. You look dumb.'

‘Yeah, well I'd rather look dumb in an apron than look dumber failing. If you wag today I'll have to find another partner.'

‘So find one,' he says, and leaves me standing in the locker room wearing an apron, yelling at him and feeling a little too much like his mother.

‘You want to be my partner?' I ask Corelli as the bell goes.

‘I'm still digesting the food you helped cook Sunday night.'

‘Please?'

‘No more wagging. In the kitchen you do exactly as I say. You listen when the teacher's talking. My mark is tied to yours.'

‘I won't stuff around. I promise.'

‘Listen in, class,' Mrs Barnett says. ‘You can choose to work alone for the practical or with a partner. Today is a practice run. In the real thing you'll be marked on how well you cook two courses in a double period. You'll also be graded on how you serve your guests.'

‘I've invited Alyce. What about you?' I ask Corelli.

‘Jane.'

‘Really? She said no to me.' I can't blame her. She had to eat my food in Year 9 Food Tech. ‘Custard is lost to me, now,' she said. ‘Don't ever invite me again.'

‘Okay,' Corelli says. ‘So we've got chicken and asparagus risotto and double chocolate cake on the menu.'

‘You know how to make them? Impressive.'

‘You'd know too, if you hadn't wagged the first class. Go get the ingredients. I'll set up.'

Corelli's got the utensils by the time I come back. ‘Did you measure them?' he asks.

‘Relax. I'm not a total idiot in the kitchen.'

‘Watch, Faltrain. You have to know how to cream butter for the practical.'

‘Why don't we stick it in the microwave to make it soft?'

‘Because we don't want to nuke it. We want to add air.'

Corelli's good. I have no idea what I'm doing but he helps me cook the risotto. ‘It doesn't look like glue,' I say. ‘It's a miracle.'

He grins. ‘We're right on time. The cake is nearly ready. The risotto is good to go. You shave the parmesan; I'll set the table.'

When Jane and Alyce arrive we're waiting with white cloths hung over our arms and bottles of water in our hands. Corelli pulls out their seats. ‘You two are partners?' Jane says. ‘There isn't custard, is there?'

‘Relax and enjoy. Have I fed you bad food yet?' he asks.

‘Today we have chicken and asparagus risotto and double chocolate cake,' I say. We put their food down and watch from the side.

‘It's going perfectly,' Corelli says. ‘More perfect than perfect.'

I watch Mrs Barnett smile as she talks to Alyce and Jane. And then I watch them both take big mouthfuls of cake. ‘That's not good. The last time Jane made that face was when she ate the custard.'

‘You didn't get the sugar from the bin with “salt” written on the side, did you?'

‘Maybe.'

‘Gracie, Declan, a quick word.' Mrs Barnett opens her mark book. ‘I gave you ten out of ten for your risotto. I was very impressed with taste and appearance. I gave you four out of ten for the cake and that was generous. In the real assessment you need to concentrate. Every detail counts.'

‘It was my fault. I got the ingredients wrong.'

‘And Declan should know his salt from his sugar. It won't matter whose mistake it is in the prac. You'll get the same mark as your partner. The option, of course, is to work alone.' She gives him a look that says, ‘Run while you still can.'

Corelli's annoyed. He washes the dishes and slaps them into my hands.

‘You don't have to keep me as your partner. I can go with Flemming.' We can crash and burn together.

‘From now on, you do everything I tell you. Over the next few weeks go over what you've missed. Learn how to use the stove. Do that, and you can be my partner.'

‘Thank you, Corelli.' I feel like I'm ten and Mum is yelling at me for heating food wrapped in foil in the microwave.

‘Treat this subject like it's a soccer match,' he says. ‘Because that's how important it is to me.'

‘I'm on it.' I finish drying the knives and forks. ‘Will you help me learn how to use the stove?'

He laughs. ‘Will you help me with my soccer?'

‘You bet.'

‘Then I'll teach you how to turn the knob on the stove.'

‘I'm meeting Kally and Dan at the gym at five. I'm staying in the library for an hour first. You interested?'

‘Yeah, I'm in. I'll drive us there when you're ready.'

*

‘Does it matter that I'm not a member?' Corelli asks on the way.

‘You can get a casual pass. I can't believe you don't do weights.'

‘This body is one hundred per cent natural. Jealous?'

‘Not really.'

‘Come on, you long for boobs like mine. So, what's going on with you and Dan?'

‘Nothing. I mean, I like him but I think maybe he likes Kally.'

‘Why don't you ask him? At least then you wouldn't be waiting around wondering.'

‘Do guys think about that stuff?'

‘What do you reckon we're doing?'

‘Jane says you run a DVD up there instead of thinking.'

‘Yeah. My DVD's called “Women: and how they get it all wrong.” I'm fairly sure Dan likes you.'

‘He drove me home after study the other night and kissed me on the cheek.'

‘Plenty of guys freak out before the penalty shot. The pressure's intense.'

‘Take a left here,' I say, and we pull into the car park. ‘I can't ask Dan.' That's like checking the train timetable by standing on the tracks. I have to find out before I get to the station. Corelli's right about one thing, though: I can't wait around forever. It's distracting.

Kally and Dan haven't arrived yet, so we start on the walking machines. ‘They're here,' he says after about five minutes. The mirrors give me a perfect view without having to turn around.

‘Do you think they're together? He's touching her.'

‘He bumped her arm.'

Dan waves. I wave back. It'll be a good sign if he walks over to me straight away. He doesn't. ‘Maybe he's trying to make me jealous by paying Kally lots of attention.'

‘Maybe.'

Every now and then I catch Dan watching me watching him. He is touching her arm a lot. That could mean he likes her or it could mean he knows I'm checking him out in the mirror. What we have here is the trickiest sign of all. ‘So it's a sign that a guy likes you when he pays loads of attention to some other girl?' Jane's voice sounds in my head.

Exactly. Most boys don't attempt it because it's the bicycle kick of signs. Nine out of ten times it goes horribly wrong. I might think Dan isn't interested and move on. I might go out with someone else to even the score. If Dan looks my way more than twice while he's touching Kally's arm then what's going on between the two of them is really all about me.

Sure, she's good-looking. But I'm not bad. I have muscles. I lift one arm up and flex. Dan's watching me so I speed up the machine and start running. ‘I don't think you need to try so hard,' Corelli says.

‘I'm pushing myself to my physical limits.'

‘Fair enough. But I'd watch your towel.'

I've always been interested in fate. Why do two people fall in love? Are Martin and I really destined to be together? Was the towel always going to fall on the running belt or did Corelli's comment cause me to look at it and so alter my destiny?

Today I find the answers about fate I've been looking for.
When you're on a conveyor belt running like the Bionic Woman and see your towel about to jam the machine you really don't give a crap about the reason it's happening. You give a crap about how to get off with all your body parts intact.

There are moments in life where things go from bad to worse. Today that's the second where my towel jams the conveyor belt before Corelli hits the stop button. Alyce could explain how when an object travelling at a very fast speed brakes suddenly, the object on it is propelled at an equally fast speed. My explanation's not that technical. I scream and rocket off the machine.

‘Are you okay?' Dan asks.

‘I think so.' If by okay you mean completely humiliated and lying on the floor with a dislocated butt.

‘How can you be so unbelievably coordinated on the field and so out of control off it?'

‘I practise,' I say. A lot.

I take a shower while the others finish up. I wait for them outside. ‘Corelli's driving Kally home,' Dan says when they walk out. ‘I'm giving you a lift.' He folds his jacket and puts it on the seat so I have a cushion. Whatever pride I had got jammed in the conveyor belt, so I don't have a problem sitting on it. ‘Is it possible to dislocate your butt?' I ask.

‘If it is, you'll be the one to find a way.'

He doesn't take me home. He drives me to the soccer field where Martin and I used to play. ‘I'm not really up for a kick.'

‘I'm sick of soccer,' he says. ‘Think you're up for a swing?'

We walk across the soccer ground. All the kids have gone home so the swings are ours. I ease myself back and look up at the sky. I've almost forgotten about my humiliation when
he says, ‘You don't need to do stuff to impress me. Kally and I are just friends.'

And there it is: positive confirmation that boys do talk about things like girls in the change room. If I didn't need Corelli for my cooking partner I'd make sure he died a painful death.

‘I like you,' Dan says. ‘I wasn't trying to make you jealous.' A long and slow painful death. ‘I kissed you on the cheek the other night because I had a feeling you were still thinking about Knight.' Is nothing sacred, Corelli?

I look across to the spot where I reached for Martin's hand and he moved away. I look across to the spot where he and I played soccer since Year 7. If I keep looking at that spot, though, I'll never move anywhere. And what's the point of looking when Martin walked away months ago? What's the point in looking when there's a guy I actually like swinging right in front of me? Or, at least, swinging to the side of me?

‘Please tell me all that quiet doesn't mean you've still thinking about Knight or I'm leaving now to kill Corelli . . .'

‘I'm not thinking about Martin. Well, maybe a bit but only because this is where he dumped me.'

‘Really? Crap. Sorry.'

And that's when it happens. The moon shifts and I don't see Martin in the shadows of the park. I see Dan. I lean over and kiss him. My blood doesn't turn to toffee like it did with Martin. It turns to velvet. And that's even better. Dan smiles and I swing. I fling myself as high as I can. The world is blurry. I'm dizzy. Yep. I have officially left the state. No plans to write postcards. No plans to return. Finally.

*

Jane's waiting for me when I walk in. ‘Are you okay? You're limping.'

‘I flew off the walking machine and landed on my butt in front of Dan.'

‘So why are you smiling?'

‘Because he likes me.'

‘I want details,' she says. ‘Talk me through humiliation to kiss.'

We've been talking for an hour when I catch sight of that picture of Martin and her and me. I don't feel so sad anymore when I look at it. It's not that Martin isn't still important. It's not that I don't miss him. But my inside doesn't feel like it's crumbling anymore. ‘What?' Jane asks.

‘I was thinking that it's funny how things change.' And we keep talking about Dan and school and Alyce and the United Nations and how there are a new type of M&Ms on the shelves.