Grasshopper Glitch (3 page)

“Teacher! It's him! It's Danny,” called Claudia Petherwaite. She pointed at her classmate with a smug look on her face. Josh narrowed his eyes at her.

“Danny. What on earth are you doing?” demanded Miss Mellor. “You sound like some kind of insect!”

“Sorry, ma'am,” mumbled Danny, looking a little pink. “I didn't know I was doing it.”

“Well, now you
do
, stop it!” She sat down again and snatched up her pen once more. She was not in a good mood.

Claudia smirked at Danny, who stuck his tongue out at her. He managed to keep quiet for the rest of the lesson.

Just before lunch Miss Mellor stood up and did a sudden lunch box check. All that week the school had been working on a healthy eating project. Those who brought lunch from home had to show what was in their lunch boxes. They got a score out of ten for how healthy it was.

Those who had school lunch sat back and watched.
They
didn't have to go through this. But about fifteen kids went to get their lunch boxes to open them for inspection.

“Not bad, Billy,” said Miss Mellor. She peered into Billy Sutter's plastic lunch box. “Egg and watercress. White bread though. Should be whole wheat really. Raisins…good…”

Josh and Danny peered anxiously into their lunch boxes. Their lunches were as identical as they were. Ham sandwiches, grapes, a sweet pastry bun, and a soda. The bread was white though.

“Claudia, what's in yours?” asked Miss Mellor. Claudia opened her little basket-weave box as if it were a birthday present.

“I've got homemade whole wheat rolls. They're filled with organic roasted vegetables and low-fat hummus,” she declared proudly.

“Hummus? Isn't that something you get off the compost heap?” hissed Danny. Miss Mellor clucked approvingly at Claudia.

“And I have crudités,” went on Claudia. She held aloft a little bundle of cut-up carrot and cucumber sticks. “With wild mushrooms and couscous.”

“Couscous? Sounds like the cat bringing up fur balls,” muttered Danny.

“Looks like it too,” said Josh. Claudia held out something sludgy in a dainty plastic dish.

“And what do you have for dessert?” asked Miss Mellor.

“Oh, Mommy doesn't give me a dessert,” said Claudia. She glowed with pride. “She says sugar rots my teeth. I do nibble on sun-dried mango. But only on weekends.”

“Gosh.” Even Miss Mellor looked slightly appalled. “And to drink…?”

“Just water, of course. Soda is full of sugar. And the sugar-free stuff kills children's brain cells,” explained Claudia. She closed her lunch box with a satisfied snap.

Miss Mellor moved on to Danny and Josh with a rather fixed grin. Then she peered down into their open lunch boxes. “Hmm…that looks OK. Some fruit. White bread, though—tsk! And pastries?”

“There are raisins in them!” said Josh hopefully. But Miss Mellor's lips didn't unpurse. She lifted Danny's plastic bottle out. “Soda?”

“Yep. Lemon,” said Danny, with a sassy grin. “Full of sugar! Yeah!”

“Your teeth will drop out!” cooed Claudia, happily, as the bell for lunch rang.

“I'll risk it!” said Danny. Miss Mellor went back to her desk. He unscrewed the bottle and took a slurp. “Ugggg!” he spluttered. “This isn't our usual soda! Yuck! Mom must have got some different stuff by mistake.”

Josh put his schoolwork into his desk. He unwrapped his sandwiches. The “cold lunchers” ate at their desks while the “hot lunch” crowd went off to the lunchroom. “Better just get some water from the sink in the bathroom then,” he said.

Danny didn't say anything.

Josh took a big bite of his sandwich. “Great ham, though,” he mumbled. His mouth was full. “Ham's my favorite. What's yours?”

“Chirrup.”

Josh looked around at the chair next to him. Danny's lunch box was open. His sandwiches half unwrapped. His bottle of yucky soda still had its lid off. Danny was nowhere to be seen. He must have gone for water.

But sitting on his blue plastic seat, chirruping was a bright green grasshopper. Josh grinned. That'd give Danny a scare when he got back.

It was only a matter of seconds before the screaming started. Daisy and Emily spotted the grasshopper first. It suddenly launched itself through the air and landed on their table.

Claudia dropped her couscous and began to squeal. She backed away from the long-legged beast crouching on the nearby desk.

“What
is
going on?” demanded Miss Mellor.

“Eeeeeeeww! It's a grasshopper! A grasshopper!” shrieked Daisy, Emily, and Claudia. Several other girls began to scream now. The grasshopper launched itself up into the air. It landed, half a second later, on Miss Mellor's desk. Craig Thomas, who was standing nearby, also gave a little shriek. He tried to turn it into a cough. Three or four other boys were looking very uneasy.

“Josh!” called Miss Mellor, looking rather edgy herself. “Can you catch it, please?” Everyone knew that Josh was crazy about creepy-crawlies. Danny called him “a freaky little bug geek.”

Josh ran across to her desk and opened his hands. “Come on. Come on, little fella!” he coaxed. The grasshopper turned around and looked at him. It rubbed its impressive back legs together and chirruped again.

Josh wished that Danny was there to see it. It was a beautiful shiny green meadow grasshopper. It had a rather endearing way of tilting its shiny green head and waving its shiny green front legs. Almost as if it was trying to say something to him!

“Danny, come and see this!” called out Josh glancing around the room. But there was still no sign of his brother. Danny might have freaked out anyway. He didn't like grasshoppers.

The grasshopper waved harder. It was doing a little dance now! Amazing! If Danny were here, he'd have stopped being scared by now. He would be laughing! He'd be waving back! He'd be…

Josh suddenly felt cold. His eyes bulged. He was replaying something in his mind. The near-crash in Petty Potts's car that morning. All the lunch box stuff and the bits and pieces in Petty's bag, flying around. Then he saw Petty talking to them. Telling them about the drinkable S.W.I.T.C.H. potion, which she was taking to the park.

Josh stared back at Danny's desk, at the open bottle. He could see that it was not the same bottle as his own. And their bottles, like the rest of their lunch, were normally identical.

OH NO! yelled a loud, panicky voice in his head. DANNY! DANNY DRANK S.W.I.T.C.H. POTION!

“Well, go on, Josh,” said Miss Mellor. “Pick it up! I want it off my desk!” Four or five curious classmates had now clustered around Josh. The grasshopper was still waving at him. Rather frantically.

“Danny!” Josh whispered, holding out his palm. “Get on my hand!”

“Just pick it
up
, Josh,” snapped his teacher. “Before it hops off somewhere else.”

“Don't worry,” said Billy Sutter, holding a heavy math book. “I'll get it.”

And before Josh could start to scream “NOOOOO!” Billy slammed the book down.

“DANNEEEEE!” shrieked Josh, horrified. His classmates had crowded around. They were ghoulishly waiting to see the mashed insect. They wondered why Josh was shrieking for his brother.