Graveyard Games (23 page)

"Okay." Shane threw his arms wide. "Go
ahead, Dusty. Shoot me."

She looked at him,
thoughtful. She could—for Nick and Suzanne and Tommy—for the things
Shane had done over the years. The memories flooded in, the
thousands of times Nick had gone out with Shane and "the gang"
instead of her, the
first
time Nick had gone off with Shane instead of
her.

Her finger fluttered on the trigger.

"Kill me." Shane let his arms drop to his
sides, defenseless. "If it solves anything for you, go ahead and do
it."

She hesitated in the pale light from the
window and then he took a step toward her.

"Stop!" she cried, seeing Shane standing up
on the bluff, holding his arms out to her. She saw him—lying under
the stars, sitting on the hood of the Mustang in the fire light, up
in the treefort, moving gently with her tonight...

Shane took another step toward her.

"Stop." Dusty’s voice wavered. "I mean
it."

"
Do
it." He took the barrel of the
gun and placed it against the hollow of his throat. "Shoot
me."

Dusty's eyes widened as she looked at the
pulse beating there beneath his skin.

"
Do it!
" he cried, and she looked
into his eyes. They were daring her, pleading with her, to pull the
trigger.

"Shane, don't." Dusty shook her head. His
hand covered hers, the gun. "Stop it."

"
DO IT!
" His finger moved over hers
on the trigger, and he squeezed gently. "
DO IT!
"

"
STOP!
" Dusty pushed his hand away,
pulling her own hands away from the gun at the same time, suddenly
hating the familiar feel. Shane caught it easily. Dusty covered her
mouth with shaking hands, her breath coming in short gasps,
horrified as she looked at him hefting the gun.

She stared at the gun, resting in the palm
of his hand, the barrel pointed towards her. She looked at him and
his eyes glinted in the light.

"Nick's," Shane noted. He clicked the safety
and placed it on the dresser beside him.

"I..." She was unable to say any more, and
she turned away. In the mirror mounted over the dresser, she saw
her own reflection, the moonlight throwing shadows, creating a
dichotomy—light and dark.

"Are you okay?" Shane’s simple concern
started her sobs.

"Hey." He pulled her in to him. Dusty
pressed herself against him fiercely, unable to fully comprehend
the magnitude of what had happened—or had almost happened. He
pulled her down onto the bed, rocking.

"I—" Dusty choked over her words, moving
away from him on the bed. "I'm sorry."

They were the only words that would come to
her groping mind. They recalled Shane's apology to her and she
covered her face, unable to look at him.

"I know." Shane's hand was on her hair, and
that was all he said. It was all he had to say. Dusty's hands fell
away. He did know. The understanding was in his eyes, his
touch.

Finally, he said, "I knew what it came down
to when I got involved with you. I don't even think you knew for
sure yourself, but I knew. Either I was going to tell you, or I was
going to lose you. It was that simple."

"You couldn't... you couldn't have known,"
she breathed.

"I knew." He laid back on the bed with a
small groan, throwing an arm over his eyes. Dusty reached out and
touched him with trembling hands. He peeked out at her and then let
his arm drop away.

"Okay." Shane drew a shaky breath. "Okay,
you're right. I was with Nick that night. I know. I know
who...what...killed him."

She drew her knees up, pulling his t-shirt
over them.

Shane sat up and leaned back against the
wall. "Sure you want to hear this?"

Dusty nodded, but she wasn’t sure now.
Looking into his eyes, reading his expression, she wasn’t sure at
all.

"I'll tell you." He sighed. "But let's
straighten something out first. I'm not telling you because of
Nick, and I'm not telling you because you pulled a fucking gun on
me." He looked at it for a moment sitting in the dresser and shook
his head.

Then he looked back at Dusty. "I'll tell you
for the same reason I would’ve told you if you'd just simply asked
me. I'll tell you because I love you, and it's eating you up
inside."

Dusty blinked at him but didn’t reply.

"And because it's eating me up too." He
swallowed. "You aren't going to believe me anyway—I wouldn't
believe me if I were you. But I'll tell you."

He took a deep breath, and then began.

Chapter Eleven

It was a dare.

The best dare—or worst dare, depending on
your perspective—when they were kids was staying in the graveyard
overnight. Shane and Nick were the only two who’d ever actually
stayed out in the cemetery until dawn.

"Bet you both two-hundred bucks you wouldn't
do it now!" Chris said.

It wasn’t really the money. Shane had just
never been able to resist a dare.

He looked at Nick, and Nick had grinned back
at him with a nod. "You're on!" Nick said. "Let's go."

They all piled into Shane's Mustang. Chris'
car was in the shop and Billy had thrown a rod on his Mercury.
Going on ten o'clock, Shane pulled up along the eastern fence. The
gates were always locked after eight. John Evans made sure of
that.

Tossing his keys to Chris, Shane said, "If
you mess her up, I’ll mess up your face!"

"Yes, boss!" Chris snapped him a salute.

"Here." Nick handed Shane a six-pack. "We
may need this."

"Good deal." Shane eyed the low fence. It
was only chest-high, but the spikes running across the top were
pointed and sharp.

"I'll go first." Nick zipped his jacket up.
"Then you toss me the beer. After that, I could care less if you
spear your nuts."

"Go screw, Chandler." Shane watched Nick put
his foot on the first crossbar.

"I’m not into necrophilia." Nick grinned
back at him as he swung one leg up so his foot was on top of the
fence, between two of the spikes.

"You’re a sick man!" Jake called from the
car.

"You know it." Nick squatted on top of the
fence, poised precariously above one of the spikes.

"Have a seat, Chandler!" Evan snorted
laughter.

Nick jumped, hitting the ground and rolling.
He stood up, unhurt, and gave Evan the finger. "Okay, now for the
beer!"

Shane handed the six-pack through the fence
and started to climb.

"Well, guys, I suppose we'll see you in the
morning!" Chris called, heading toward the car. Shane hit the
ground and stood up.

"I swear to god, Chris, if
you mess that car up, I
will
kill you!" Shane called through the fence. From
inside the car, Evan clicked the headlights on and off.

"If you're alive in the morning!" Billy
called, exaggerating a mock-scary laugh. “Bwah-ha-ha-ha!”

Chris got into the driver's side of the
Mustang. Shane watched as he started the car, put it in reverse,
and backed it out onto the road.

"My car is going to be totaled," Shane
lamented, watching Chris peel out and disappear toward town.

"Don't worry about it." Nick laughed. "He's
only a little bit drunker than you are."

"You're a big help." Shane picked up the
six-pack.

They made their way through the cemetery by
the light of a full moon. Nick stopped by an old oak tree just
beginning to lose its leaves and plopped himself onto a flat
headstone.

"Have a seat." Nick nodded at the headstone
next to him. Shane sat, placing the beer between them. "Here." Nick
pulled two cans off the plastic ring and handed one to Shane.

"To life, man." Nick held his beer up,
popping the tab. Shane lifted his and touched the can to
Nick's.

"To friendship," Shane said.

"To sex," Nick countered with a grin.

Shane laughed, tipping his beer up. “I’ll
drink to that.”

Nick leaned back with a sigh, resting his
back against the tree, wedging his beer between his thighs. "Man, I
want to get so shit-faced I won't be able to feel how damned cold
this headstone is.”

"What headstone?" Shane looked around,
innocent. That cracked them up.

“
God, you're one lucky
son-of-a-bitch, Shane," Nick sighed. "You don't have to do anything
but stay in this town and party for the rest of your
life."

"Spare me that fate," Shane grumbled,
looking across the cemetery. In the moonlight, the headstones rose
darkly, and tree branches threw shadows over the grass.

"Hell, this little town isn't so bad," Nick
said softly.

Shane took a drink of beer—it was getting
warm. "Not if you're Nick Chandler, I guess. But I gotta tell ya,
if you're Shane Curtis, this little town makes Dante’s ninth circle
look like Barnum and Bailey’s."

"Life sucks sometimes, doesn't it?" Nick
sighed.

Shane agreed with him, finishing the beer
off. They were quiet for a while, listening to the sound of the
wind rustling the leaves above them.

"Ah damn, I gotta get up early tomorrow."
Nick groaned, closing his eyes. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

“
Up early on vacation?”
Shane raised his eyebrows and tipped back his beer
again.

“
Yeah, about that…” Nick
looked at his friend, his gaze then quickly falling to the ground.
He cleared his throat. “I wanted to talk to you. Shane…I’m…I’m
sick.”

Shane looked sideways at him in the
moonlight but didn’t say anything.

“
They pretty much did
everything they could do for me back in California.” Nick’s smile
was a small, sad thing. “I came home because… well, because I
wanted to die at home.”

“
Fuck.” Shane crumpled the
can in his hand and threw it, hard. It clinked against one of the
headstones. “Cancer?”

“
Secondarily, yeah,” Nick
agreed.

Shane frowned. “What is it primarily?”

Nick sighed, his gaze finally moving up to
Shane’s face, meeting his eyes. “AIDS.”

They sat together quietly again for a while,
the wind picking up in the trees. It was Nick who started talking
again. “I haven’t told my parents yet. But Suzanne knows. And since
she’s an RN, she’s agreed to do all the at-home stuff I’ll need,
when it, you know, gets bad. Gotta love a girl armed with a
morphine drip.”

Shane’s snort was his only reply.

Nick took a gulp of his beer, looking off
into the distance. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“
Do ya?” Shane popped the
top on another beer.

“
Yeah.” Nick crushed his
empty can, looking over at his friend. “And you’re right. It’s
true.”

“
I know.” Shane’s reply
surprised them both.

"How long have you known?" Nick sounded like
he’d gotten the wind knocked out of him.

"Since we were kids, I guess." Shane
shrugged. What need was there to pretend? He’d suspected as much
for a long, long time. “Who else knows?”

“
Suzanne. She’s actually
known longer than anyone—since high school.” Nick frowned. “No one
else, not really. This town…”

“
Tell me about it.” Shane
nodded, smiling grimly. “I’m glad you finally told me.”

“
But…” Nick hesitated,
frowning. “You never felt the same way?”

“
Man, you know I love
you.” Shane smiled and nudged his friend. “But I don’t pitch for
that team.”

“
I thought…” Nick laughed,
shaking his head. “I thought you’d hate me if I told you. I thought
everyone would hate me.”

Shane nodded. “Some might,” he agreed. “I
don’t.”

“
Well… thanks.” Nick
sighed deeply, leaning back against the tree again.

“
She wouldn’t hate you
either, you know,” Shane said after a moment.

“
Who?”

Shane nudged him again. “You know who.”

“
Oh hell.” Nick shook his
head, frowning. “I fucked that up so bad. I love my sister,
Shane…you know I do. But I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand
seeing her with you.”

"Well, now she hates me." Shane’s voice only
caught the slightest bit. “And she doesn’t know the truth about her
own brother. I’d say…yeah, I’d say it’s pretty fucked up.”

“
I’m sorry.” Nick sighed.
"I’m gonna do my best to try and fix it."

“
So you’re gonna tell her
you’re gay?”

“
Yeah.” Nick tipped up his
beer. “I am.”

Shane crumpled a can and tossed it between
his feet. “You can’t protect her forever. She’s not something you
can lock up in some cage.” Nick was silent and, to Shane, he seemed
sad, tired and even a little bit ashamed.

Shane watched these
emotions cross Nick's face, and finally Nick said, "I know...and
I'm sorry. I wish now that I
had
told her. I wish I’d just let things happen
between you two, because I think I've hurt her more than anyone
will ever hurt her in her life, and god knows I never meant to. But
you have to understand how much...”

Nick looked down at the
ground, shaking his head. “I was a kid. I didn’t even understand
what I was feeling at first. And I thought, maybe, some day…you
would…” He shrugged, meeting Shane’s eyes. “I loved you. I won’t
apologize for that. I wanted you to love me back. I wanted you to
love
me
,
not
her
.”

“
I know.” Shane kicked at
the can between his feet. “Man, I’m sorry. You’re like a brother to
me. You know that.”