Gray Back Bad Bear (Gray Back Bears Book 1) (9 page)

She was boneless as he lifted her and dragged her back into the waves. He was quiet as he stroked her sex, washing her gently in the current.

I don’t want you to go
, he’d said.

After what he’d shared with her, and after finally exposing his primal side, she couldn’t imagine leaving him.

She’d have to find a job in Saratoga, find an apartment, and get used to a long commute to see Matt and the Gray Backs. It would all be worth it, though, if she could keep this sense of belonging with the man she loved.

With a small kiss on the smooth skin of his neck, she whispered, “I’ll stay.”

Pain, pain, pain.

So scared.

Cold.

Skin tingling. Millions of needles. Can’t breathe.

Sun hurts. Too bright.

Legs won’t run!

Something big and terrifying growling. So close. Breathe!

Gasping, choking, vision blurs.

Woods, trees, sun too bright. Saturating everything. Turning it gold.

Hurts so bad.

Dying.

Roaring.

Roaring.

Screaming.

With a terrified gasp, Willa sat straight up in bed. Chest heaving and a whimper in her throat, she looked around. It wasn’t dark anymore. It had to be midday. Head pounding, she felt her scalp to see if she’d split it, but there was no blood. Not even a knot.

So if she hadn’t hit her head, why was she hallucinating that she was out in the woods?

Wake up, Willa. Wake up now.

She was completely naked, and her body was covered in cuts. She stared down at a long gash across her thigh that was shrinking by the second. “What the fuck?”

She was panting, breathing so fast she’d pass out if she didn’t relax.

Birds called and cicadas sang in waves. Louder, softer, louder, softer. Branches creaked in the wind.

Wake up.

She stood and looked down at the bloody mattress in horror. Stained red, it was ripped up, exposing springs from the long, jagged gashes of something big. Why was her body covered in blood?

Matt’s dream. He’d dreamed this, and now it was happening in her dreams.

A long snarl bellowed from her throat, and she sobbed in terror and searched the woods for the thing that was hunting her.

She felt sick. Her stomach was filled with something awful that didn’t belong.

Stepping away from the bloody mattress, she stumbled on a tree root and fell hard on her backside. Air whooshed out of her lungs, and she couldn’t suck it back in. She rolled from side to side, gasping. She wasn’t supposed to feel pain in a dream, but her entire body ached. Cuts, scrapes, bumps. Her insides were burning.

The cicadas were growing louder until nature’s song was deafening. The birds were bursting her eardrums. “Shut up!” she screamed, holding her hands over her ears.

Matt did this to you.

Willa froze and drew her first deep breath. No. He wouldn’t have. He’d told her before they went to sleep last night that he’d never claim her like that. He liked her human, and that’s exactly what she was. A human.

You can feel her in you—your bear.

No, no, no.

She stumbled upward and patted her face. Her glasses were gone but she could see every leaf, every pine needle, every bird in the trees, every color variation in the bark.

He wouldn’t have. Matt cared about her. He wouldn’t do this.

But his bear was broken. He had told her it had been hard not to Turn her. Maybe he’d given into the temptation while she slept. She hadn’t felt good last night and had gone to bed with him right after dinner with the Gray Backs. She’d felt woozy and sick.

Crying, she ran her hand over the blood that coated her shoulder. Her palm came back crimson.

This wasn’t a dream.

“Matt?” she called to the unfamiliar woods. Another sob clogged her throat before she called his name louder. “Matt!” Her strangled voice dipped to nothing as she looked around. “Help me.”

With one more glance at the ruined mattress, she sniffed the air. The intense smell of pine burned her nose and overpowered everything. Where was she?

There was no sound of running water, so she couldn’t be near the river, and when she looked through the canopy above her, the mountains surrounding her didn’t look familiar. The sun was directly above, and no help on direction. She needed to find a road or running water…something.

What if she was in Boarlander territory?

Fear froze her in place, and she began panting again. Harrison or any of his bears would kill her for trespassing.

Why had Matt done this? Why had he Turned her and left her to die alone in the woods?

Forcing her muscles to move, she stumbled off into the brush.

It didn’t make any sense. Matt had made love to her last night. Been tender to make up for taking her hard at Bear Trap Falls. He’d been on the cusp of telling her he loved her. She’d felt it. And now this?

Creed had been right. The Gray Backs were broken and couldn’t handle anyone outside of their crew. She’d just been too blinded by her affection for Matt to realize it.

Another snarl left her lips as the gravity of her mate’s betrayal slipped over her shoulders.

Consequences be damned, she was going to kill him for what he’d done to her.

Matt hooked his hands on his hips and frowned at Willa’s Tacoma, still parked by his truck beside his trailer. Where the fuck was she?

The hairs rose on the back of his neck, and when he turned, Easton was leaned against his truck, arms crossed, staring at him. Weird. Usually Easton spent his days off in his shack in the woods.

“Where’s trouble?” Jason asked.

Willa had become a part of this place over the last week. It was really strange coming home to an empty house, and apparently he wasn’t the only one who thought so. “I don’t know. Maybe she went to the falls?”

“Why didn’t she take her truck?” Jason asked.

Matt wondered that himself. Willa was too smart to go wondering off in the woods alone, and the bombshells had left mid-week, so there was no way she hitched a ride with them.

The snap of a branch sounded from the woods, followed by a soft sob.

“Willa?” Matt called, instincts kicking up.

“Why’s she crying?” Jason asked, trotting behind him.

“I don’t know. Creed!” Matt called to his alpha over his shoulder.

Willa stumbled out from behind a tight grove of trees, and Matt skidded to a stop in horror.

She was naked and covered in caked, dried blood. Her dark hair was snarled, and she looked like she was having trouble walking, but that wasn’t what had stopped him in his tracks.

Her eyes were churning an inhuman green color.

“No.” His voice cracked on the word. “No!”

“Why?” she cried, stumbling toward him. “Why did you do this to me?” She was crying now, wailing as her shoulders shook with emotion.

“I didn’t. I wouldn’t.” What the fuck had happened? Boarlanders? Ashe Crew? He was going to kill the mother fucker who’d Turned her. “Where were you?”

“In the woods.” Her eyes narrowed to lethal slits. “In the woods where you dropped me on a mattress to bleed and shred it, just like your dream. You left me to wander these woods, lost and afraid for six fucking hours.”

“I wouldn’t. Willa, I swear I didn’t do this.”

“Liar!” she roared, the word tapering into a snarl.

“Whoa,” Creed said, stepping beside Matt. His hands were out in a soothing gesture meant to calm wary horses. It seemed to be pissing Willa off more, though. “You feel that?” he murmured.

“Yeah, she’s a fucking dominant,” Jason said.

“She can’t Change right now though, right?” Clinton asked from farther behind them where he’d stopped. He smelled like fear. “She’s already Changed. She won’t be able to do it again for weeks. Right?”

“No, she won’t Change now,” Creed said, stepping slowly closer to her. “Willa, we’ll get everything figured out, but it wasn’t Matt who Turned you. He was up on the landing with me all day.”

A jolt of realization made Matt turn toward Easton. “But you weren’t. You were here all day with Willa.”

“Wrong,” Easton said, angling his head. “Willa was in the woods. I was in the trailer park, waiting for Willa to return.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Matt gritted out.

“Willa was going to leave, but she can’t leave. She’s one of us now.”

“What did you do?” Creed snarled.

“I did what Matt wouldn’t. I made her one of us!” Easton’s green eyes lightened to the same eerie color Willa’s were now.

“You claimed my mate?” Matt yelled as fury blasted through him.

“I don’t want your mate, Barns. I want her to stay here, with us, where she belongs. Now she will. She has no choice.”

“You crazy sonofabitch!” Creed yelled, his voice cracking with power. “This right here is why I didn’t want women up here. You can’t fucking handle one. You don’t even think you did anything wrong, do you? Look at her, Easton. Look at her face. Look at the blood on her. You did that. You
hurt
her.”

Easton looked at each of his crew, then finally at Willa. His eyes darkened with uncertainty. “But now she won’t hurt anymore. She’ll heal fast. I took care of her. She’s ours.”

“You took my choice away from me,” Willa whispered shakily.

The smell of rage was pungent against Matt’s nose, and he dragged his gaze back to his mate. He’d never met a female bear who could wield as much dominance as was coming off Willa’s skin.

“I had already agreed to stay. I didn’t want to be a bear, but you put one inside me without my consent. Did you drug me last night?”

“What?” Matt asked, shocked by her question.

“I want to know if Easton drugged me,” Willa roared. “I was sick last night. Did you put me to sleep so I wouldn’t feel you drag me into the woods this morning? So I wouldn’t feel you bite me?” A long, low growl rattled her throat as she glared down Easton, who could no longer hold her gaze. “Answer me!”

“Yes,” Easton said, voice hitching. “I put sleeping pills in the drink I brought you at dinner.”

“Willa, we’ll figure this out,” Creed said softly.

Oh, Matt knew exactly what his alpha was feeling. The hairs on the back of Matt’s neck were electrified, too. Beaston had created a beast in Willa, the stupid fuck.

“I’m going to kill you,” she said in a growling, inhuman voice. She took a step toward Easton as he took a step back. “I’m going to bleed you like you bled me.” Her eyes went vacant. “I’m going to dance to the song of your breaking bones, and if you’re really,
really
lucky, I won’t eat you until after you’re dead.”

“Willa, you aren’t going to Change,” Creed said in a careful tone. “It’s too soon. You can’t.”

A long snarl rattled her throat, and she arched her gaze toward the alpha. With a slow blink, she allowed a dead smile to transform her face into something fearsome. “Wrong.” An enormous brown grizzly exploded from Willa’s skin. She landed on all fours, hard enough to shake the earth under Matt’s feet. Eyes on Easton, she roared her death warning loud enough to rattle the trees and shake the birds from their branches.

“Run,” Creed whispered. He dragged his wide, dark eyes to Easton. “Run now if you want to live.”

****

Everything was bathed in shades of red.

Easton turned and ran for the trailer park, but he wouldn’t make it far. Willa had longer strides and powerful new muscles that pushed her forward. Her claws dug into the dirt with each step.

“Willa, stop! You’ll regret hurting him!” Matt yelled from behind her.

She’d regret nothing. Easton deserved to die. He’d forced her to Turn. Drugged her. Abandoned her in the woods, afraid and alone.

He’d made her into this…this…monster.

How could Matt love her now? He’d looked at her with horror in his eyes. A deep ache drummed through her as she pushed her legs harder. She was gaining on Easton now.

With a yell, Easton transformed into a silver grizzly. A true gray back. He spun right as she lunged for him, taking her full force in the chest. She ripped and bit and snarled and slapped. She raked her claws down his belly, slicing through skin and muscle until the air smelled like iron. He roared in pain and fought back in the jerky desperate moves of one who wanted to live. Stupid fucker shouldn’t have killed her human then.

Something hit her side, bowling her against Creed’s trailer. The wall splintered inward, and she brought her seething gaze to a brown bear that smelled like Jason. She charged, but he got out of her way. Easton was on the run, but he was no match for her. Not injured as he was.

Red, red, everything’s red. Dead, dead, Easton’s dead.

Another bear pummeled her in the side like a cannon ball. Legs splayed, she skidded across the ground, scrabbling across the chalky gravel for traction. Four bears against her, but Easton was on the ground now, and she was so close. Pain slashed across her side, down her ribs, and across her arms as the other bears fought and bit. She fought like a demon, clawing and hurting. She latched onto one of their necks and punctured him. Just a warning, she missed the artery on purpose. Next time she’d be more lethal.
Leave me the fuck alone.

She reached Easton, but one of the bears knocked her legs out from under her. No matter, she could do damage from here. She latched onto Easton’s kicking hind leg and bit down with all of her strength. The clean
snap
of his bone rattled her jaw.

Easton bellowed in pain.

A pitch black bear hovered over Easton, teeth bared. Smelled like Creed. He roared a warning and a wave of power brushed her skin. Made her bear focus. He was trying to tell her something. Something important.
He
was important. Boss. Alpha.

She shook her head, uncertain.

Easton was bad. He was a bad bear. Bad.

But…he’d been nice to her before. Back when she was human. Gifted her a knife. Smiled at her after he came home from work with the others. Got mad at Jason for teasing her too much. He’d defended her. He’d made an effort to spend more time with the crew because she’d asked.

Not a bad bear.

A broken bear.

Like her.

Closing her eyes, Willa tucked her bear back into her skin. It hurt. Her bones ached too much to hold her weight, so she sagged to her knees in the dirt with a sob. She looked down at her arms, covered in claw marks and puncture wounds. Everything hurt.

She looked up at Matt’s bear, a scarred warrior, dark as a redwood and pacing tightly in front of her, between her and the other bears. Protecting her.

He’d told her once that no one else bled like Gray Backs.

She looked down at her crimson arms and lost a vital part of herself. The part she’d been clinging to that this was all just some nightmare, like the one Matt had endured. She lost hope that this could be fixed. That
she
could be fixed.

No one bled as much as a Gray Back.

And now she was a Gray Back bad bear.

Standing on shaky legs, she looked down at Easton, who screamed as he Changed back. He was shredded, clawed up, and gritting his teeth in pain.

“Dude,” Jason said, looking beat up and bloody. “I can see your intestines.”

Creed shrank back into his human skin. His neck had a claw mark down it, and she felt like grit.

“That’s what he fuckin’ gets,” Creed muttered.

“Set my bone,” Easton pleaded. “His leg had been snapped in half, and a jagged, white shard stuck out of his knee.

Clinton moved toward him, but Creed halted him. “I should kill you, Easton. It’s against shifter law to Turn people without consent. You claimed your Gray Back brother’s mate. You are no longer in contention for second or even third. You were just bested by a brand new sow. Willa is second in the crew now, if she chooses to stay with us. Her true mate, Matt, is third. That’s not your real punishment, though.” Creed angled his head as his eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. “Your punishment is resetting your own bones.”

“I can’t,” Easton panted. “I can’t do this one. It’s too bad.”

“Then you shouldn’t have fucking Turned her!” Creed roared. The alpha jammed a finger at Clinton. “I forbid you to set his bones.” He turned to Jason. “I forbid you to set his bones.” He gave the same order to Matt, who was still a red, scarred-up bear. And at last, he turned to Willa. His voice went hoarse. “This is the way our world works, Willa. I can tell from your face you want to help him, but grizzly shifter law is in place for a reason. He was wrong. He shouldn’t have hurt you. Easton’s punishment is a permanent limp to remind him of what he’s done to you. I forbid you to set his bones.”

Easton let off pained noises with every breath now.

Willa couldn’t look at him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered to him, tears streaming down her face.

Unable to bear the sound of his agony anymore, she ran for the woods, for the falls. For the first place she’d been when she visited these mountains. She was dirty on the outside and in. The only thing that could wash her clean was Bear Trap Falls.

The ground was uneven and stung the bottoms of her feet with cuts, but she didn’t care about that now. She’d heal in no time. All she cared about was getting as far away from Easton as she could.

He’d hurt her, Turned her, but she’d hurt him back. The sound of his snapping bone echoed through her mind, over and over. Tears blurred her vision as she stumbled through the woods toward the distant sound of running water.

Faster and faster she ran until the forest morphed into a smear of brown and green. She could run forever now and not get tired. Her bear pulsed inside of her, relieved to be away from the others and in the woods. The woods felt like home.
These
woods felt like home.

A sob tore out of her as she skidded to a stop on the bank of the river. “I’m a monster.”

“No, you’re not,” Matt said from behind her.

Oh, she’d known he was following. She’d sensed him and heard him. He hadn’t tried to follow quietly.

She turned, and he caught her, clutched her hard to his bare chest.

“You’re not a monster.” His voice sounded raspy, as if he were forcing the words through his tightening vocal cords. “You’re so fucking beautiful. Your bear is perfect. Strong and fierce, just like you, Willa.” He picked her up and carried her into the water, then washed the blood from her arms. From her face and neck as she cried silent tears.