Gray Moon Rising: Seasons of the Moon (16 page)

When the wind blew in Rylie’s face, she picked up that gunpowder and leather smell again. She hesitated at a fork in the trail.

“What’s wrong?” Bekah asked.

Rylie spun, searching the trees with her eyes for Eleanor. Her heart hammered as her adrenaline spiked.

But it wasn’t Eleanor’s smell she’d caught on the breeze.

Higher on the mountain and across the river, Rylie saw a black shape standing atop the rocks. She closed her eyes and took another deep breath.

It was Seth. She was sure of it.

He had stopped moving, and she thought he was looking in her direction. He must have spotted her, too.

She lifted her hand and gave a small wave.

He waved back. Her heart skipped a beat.

The other girl searched, but she didn’t see what Rylie saw. She wasn’t magnetically drawn to Seth like that.

“Okay, listen to me, Bekah. The nurse’s station isn’t far from the office,” Rylie said. “Kind of between the mess hall and the office. It’s easy to find. You can grab a laundry bag and take a bunch of supplies back to Stephanie.”

“Aren’t you coming?”

“I have to do something,” she said. “I’ll be back soon. I promise.”

Bekah nodded. “Okay. Be careful.”

She left, and Rylie saw Seth point toward camp before jumping down the back of the rocks where she couldn’t see him.

He wanted to meet her at the camp. She knew she shouldn’t have been so excited, not when Abel claimed that Seth had turned on them. But realizing she was about to see him turned off her common sense.

After all those letters, and trying desperately to ignore his phone calls, she was going to see him again.

Rylie didn’t care if Seth was with the hunters or not. She had to meet him.

E
IGHTEEN

The Cabin

Rylie knew instinctively that Seth
would go to the cabin where she had stayed the summer before. It was far enough from the rest of the camp that the Union had missed it on their rampage, and the windows were intact. She had to break the handle to open the door.

Stepping inside was like time traveling. Everything about that summer returned to her all at once: avoiding everybody for her first two weeks at camp, the way the counselors watched her, creek walking and archery and arts and stupid crafts. She even remembered stealing the counselor’s car to go to the boys’ side of the lake, which was pretty laughable now that she knew what she knew. Seth hadn’t even been a camper.

But beyond that, her memories were hazy. It was like the wolf had eaten holes in her brain.

She turned around to look at the cots with squinted eyes, trying to remember who slept where. Rylie recalled two teenage delinquents staying with her. She couldn’t remember what they were in trouble for, or their names. They had survived the attacks, so it didn’t really matter. The names that did matter were burned into her mind forever: Louise, Amber, Cassidy, and Jericho. The skeletons in her closet.

Rylie opened the drawer by the nearest cot. It had belonged to the pug-faced girl, who had left things behind in her hurry to escape. She idly picked through it. A paperback with a swooning woman on the cover. A few pens. A dead cell phone. A box of small, crinkly packages. Her cheeks flushed with heat when she realized they were condoms.

Embarrassed, Rylie bumped the drawer shut again and went to her cot. She had left in a hurry, too, so a few of her things were still there. She kind of hoped that one of them would be her journal, but it wasn’t there. Instead, there was a stuffed cat with a round body and reaching paws.

“Byron!” she exclaimed, pulling him out of the drawer. Byron the Destructor had been her favorite stuffed animal as a child, and she had taken him everywhere with her for years.

She brushed dust off his bulbous head and pressed her nose to his. Faintly, very faintly, she could smell her own odors on him. At least, she assumed the odors were hers. The person she smelled had used her body wash, and wore hand-me-down clothes from the lost and found, but she didn’t smell like a wolf.

Disappointed, Rylie pulled some cobwebs off of his tail and flicked it to the table. She didn’t feel nearly as warm toward him as she used to. All those long nights she spent cuddling her stuffed cat were so distant as to be meaningless.

She set him on the pillow as the window creaked open behind her.

Seth climbed in. They stared at each other from across the cabin, breathless and silent.

Rylie wasn’t sure if it was a failure of memory or if Seth had changed since the last time they were together, but he looked so much better than she recalled. He was a little taller, and his back was a little straighter. His muscles seemed more developed.

There was something a bit military about him, too. The smell of gunpowder was stronger than ever before. She detected gun oil and synthetic polymers and silver.

It didn’t change how she felt. Seth was gorgeous, and just looking at him made her entire body ache. Rylie wanted to run to him and hold him and be held.

She didn’t move, and neither did he.

“I knew you would come here,” he said.

You’re with the hunters
.

Rylie bit back the words. Instead of speaking, she only nodded.

Seth gave her a long look. She wondered what he thought of how she had changed. She ran a hand through her hair self-consciously.

He took a step toward her. She stepped back, and he stopped.

“I’ve been wandering around all day. I found the kayaks.” A hint of that crooked smile touched his mouth. “They left the activities shed unlocked. I didn’t even have to pick it this time. Do you remember when we went to the boys’ side of the lake together?”

She did. She remembered it so clearly that she could almost feel the damp seat under her legs, and the gentle rocking as Seth paddled them across the water.

But her return smile was gone as soon as it began to grow. That girl in the kayak was practically a stranger to her.

He took another step.

“Or when we danced on the beach,” he went on. “We weren’t supposed to leave the recreation hall, but it was so crowded, and the music was kind of terrible.”

She had to crack a smile at that. “I’m a really bad dancer.”

“But it was fun.”

“Yeah.” She didn’t move back when he took one more step toward her. They were within arm’s reach. His smells were overwhelming. “I didn’t think I would ever come back, Seth. There’s a bad memory for every good one. When Louise got killed. Everything about Jericho. That stupid mountain…”

“I’ve missed you.”

Rylie couldn’t remember the last time her heart beat. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“Abel?”

“He’s around,” she said. She wasn’t sure if she should tell him about the werewolves hiding under the cliff.

He seemed to sense her trepidation. “Are you okay?”

“No. No, I’m not okay.” She took a deep breath. “Abel saw you. In the forest.” She didn’t mean to let him see how much that hurt her, but there was no hiding it. Her brow furrowed. “
Why
?”

“It isn’t what you think.”

“How do you know? I don’t even know what I think.”

“I’m not
with
them. I came here with them because Eleanor made me. She’s out there right now.”

Having him repeat what Bekah said made her feel a little better. She stared through the window, terrified that she would see eyes staring back, but the only thing on the other side was forest. “What is Eleanor doing here?”

“I don’t know what she’s doing. I thought she was coming here to work with the other hunters, but she’s got something else going on. Some other plan. I’m going to try to find her, but I had to see you first.”

She sank onto one of the cots. He knelt in front of her, just inches away, but not touching.

The wolf responded to him like he was a long-lost member of her pack, even though the last time they were alone together, she had attacked him. She hadn’t thought it would be possible for the wolf to feel regret, but it did. Or maybe it was getting harder and harder to separate the animal from the girl.

Seth finally rested his hand on hers. Warmth rippled up her shoulders.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Her eyes blurred. “What’s wrong? I’m back in this horrible place with no idea of what’s going on. There are hunters out there—
Eleanor
is out there—and even after months of ‘rehabilitation,’ I still can’t think of a good reason I shouldn’t give myself to the hunters.”

“I can think of a lot of great reasons.” He didn’t have to actually say any of them aloud. His gaze spoke volumes.

Guilt crept over her. “I’ve thought about killing myself,” Rylie said, picking at her thumbnail. “I’ve thought about it a lot.” She glanced up at him through the sheet of her white-blond hair, but she couldn’t make out his expression. She refocused on her hand. “I’m sorry.”

Seth cupped her face in both hands. It took her several seconds to get the courage to look up at him.

He wasn’t angry at all, like Abel had been. He looked sad.

“I know it hurts,” he said.

Something inside of her broke a little, like a crack in a vase. “It hurts so much.” A single tear burned a hot path down her cheek. “The things I’ve done…”

He pulled her down so that their foreheads bumped. It had been so long since she had been touched in such a way that it felt strange and new, like she was being touched for the very first time.

Closing her eyes didn’t hold back the tears. They just flowed more freely than ever. She clung to his shoulders like he was the only thing that could keep her on the ground.

They sank to the floor together. He tucked her head under his chin. She listened to his heartbeat and tried to focus on it, wishing she could wrap herself in every one of Seth’s sounds and smells and drown in that leathery warmth.

Being held by him didn’t make it okay. Nothing would make it okay. But it did remind her of happy things. Not when they met at the camp, but the time they spent together on the ranch. Cold winter mornings fixing fences and feeding chickens. Putting her feet up on his legs while he studied anatomy. Laughing over a pot roast with Gwyn and Abel, like they were a family.

“I don’t want to leave you ever again,” she said.

“You don’t have to.”

He kissed her. His mouth was warm and soft and tentative, like he was asking her permission.

For a single, blessed moment, Rylie only felt happy and a little excited. Warmth pooled low in her stomach. But the moment passed, and the wolf stirred in response to her spike in adrenaline.

“We can’t do that.” Rylie tried to extricate herself from him, but he didn’t let go.

“Take deep breaths. Count to ten. Think about human things, like how you didn’t have to do finals this year.”

The idea of school was ridiculous after everything she had been through. She couldn’t even remember what classrooms looked like. The only images she could summon were of icy rivers and cold gray stone.

Seth kissed her again, just as gently as before. Rylie didn’t want him to be gentle. She wanted him to hurt her. To be rough, and throw her against the wall, and make her
feel
it. She needed him to take charge and drive away the wolf.

The wolf swelled inside of her. A growl escaped her throat.

“Hey,” he murmured, gazing into her eyes. “Don’t do that. You can relax.”

“I can’t help it.” She spoke through gritted teeth.

“The sanctuary hasn’t helped, has it?”

“All it did was make me miss you,” Rylie said. “That’s why I didn’t call. Or write letters back. But I read every single one, Seth. I’ve still got all of them.”

His response was to dip his head and brush his lips over hers again. When she leaned into him a second time, he didn’t pull back. He let her deepen the kiss. Rylie sank into his body.

And her fingernails itched.

She clenched her hands into fists and tried to ignore it. But it only got worse. After a moment, Seth noticed that she had gone stiff. They both looked down. Droplets of blood oozed from her nails where the claws were trying to grow in.

“Tell me what to do,” he said. “Tell me how to stop it.”

“Distract me. Don’t let the wolf take over.”

She pressed her body into his as she covered his lips with her own, and he immediately pushed her back onto the floor. His body was heavy on top of hers, almost crushingly so, but it didn’t make Rylie feel trapped. It made her feel safe. Secure.

The itching didn’t stop, but it didn’t grow worse. Seth was in charge. It seemed to make the wolf happy. “Is this okay?” he asked, his hands pressing her wrists into the floor.

Rylie bit her bottom lip. The wolf was content to be under his control. For once, they were both in total agreement with each other. “Just don’t stop,” she whispered.

And so he didn’t.

N
INETEEN

Reunited

Rylie hadn’t ever had female friends.
She usually hung out with guys to avoid girl drama. And the boys were fun, but it meant that she didn’t get to talk about relationships very often—though they did talk about sex.

Tyler had the noble distinction of losing his virginity first. Lance, always competitive, followed suit quickly thereafter. Both of them said it was the best thing ever, and that they were totally real men afterward, and high-fived over it. She had rolled her eyes and pretended not to listen.

Now that she had crossed that line, Rylie didn’t feel like high-fiving anyone. And she didn’t feel like she was an adult all of a sudden, either. In fact, she wasn’t even sure if it was the best thing ever—it had started out a lot more awkwardly than she had expected, actually.

But as she stretched out on one of the creaky cots, covered in a scratchy wool blanket as Seth pulled his pants back on, she did feel pretty good about it. And also very shy.

He watched her as he did up his belt again, and there was a knowing heat in his eyes that made her blush and pull the blanket to her chin. “Stop that,” she said, letting an embarrassed giggle slip. Her cheeks were hotter than a campfire.