Green Broke Woman (42 page)

“Being a whore,” she whispered, dropping her
head like a guilty puppy.

His lips quirked in amusement.
“Good for you. That's not what I'm asking.”

“Oh.” She sat up straight, feeling relieved.
“What then?”

“This game you play.”

She frowned. “What game?”

“Vanilla Kayla, slave Kayla, sub Kayla. Who
are you, cinnamon?” He stared down at her seriously.

A touch of guilt pricked her conscience.
“People can change.”

“True, but people can also pretend to be
something they're not to win someone's favor.” He eyed her almost knowingly.

She lowered her eyes. “Why do you care about
my sex life if you don't plan on staying with me?”

The words cut her to pieces on the way out of
her mouth. She forbade herself to cry, although if she thought it would change
his stubborn mind, she'd blubber her eyes out.

“I'm not leaving, Kayla.”

Her head jerked up, and she prayed this
wasn't a dream. “You're not?”

“No, I'm not. I love you too much to let you
go again. It nearly killed me the first time. If I were to do so again, I don't
see how I'd get through it.” His hushed timbre sounded amorous and almost stern
at once. “You know what I want. What I need from you.”

“Yes,” she whispered, feeling her pulse
jitter with familiar longing.

“I'm a Master, not a bedroom Dom. I've done
both, but there's something missing when I confine my authority to the bedroom
only. Now that said, I'm willing to do that for you because I want you, but I'm
not going to hold back with you if you're pretending to only want to be a
submissive for my nephews.”

His words touched and challenged her.

“There's no way I'm having a twisted ménage
with you and them, but I'm willing to have a polyandrous relationship. Sharing
you is better than losing you. If you want group sex, you can turn to my
nephews and Virgil for that. When you're with me, you're mine and mine alone.”

His possessiveness summoned tiny butterflies
of anticipation to life inside her stomach.

“I don't buy this whole 'I'm vanilla, now I'm
a slave, now I'm a sub' deal.” Hugh scrutinized her carefully. “But I'm willing
to allow the possibility that I might be wrong, though I have my doubts.”

“What if I said I'm undecided?”

“I wouldn't believe you. Stop worrying about
losing us. Whether you choose to be a sub or a slave, you won't lose any of us,
and even if you did, then forget us. The most important thing is to be true to
yourself
.”

Kayla pondered his words, beaming and nearly tearing
up when she saw him pull her black training collar from his pocket.

“I went back for this that day after you
threw it on the ground. Risky, but I couldn't leave it there. It hurt too
much,” he said in a tender hush. “When you're doing a scene with me, you'll
wear this collar. When you're with them, you can wear the blue one they gave
you. Any thoughts on the whole sub-slave question?”

She knew what she wanted and what each man
wanted. Master Hugh was willing to bury his desires to be with her, but would
the others change for her if she needed them to? “Why don't you want me to hold
back, but you're willing to for me?”

“I'm your protector. It's my job to be what
you need, even if I have to sacrifice my own needs and wants.” He handed her
the collar. “You've sacrificed enough in your young little life. You're always
playing the role whatever man you're with designs for you. Do you even know who
you are and what you want, Kayla?”

She didn't speak for a minute, feeling the
hot intensity of his eyes consuming her exposed skin. “This is really hard. You
all want different things. How can I please all of you?”

“By being honest about your needs.
Forget what we want. What do you want?”

She heaved a frustrated sigh. “Virgil's
vanilla, and Travis, Jake, and Keith have never owned a slave before. I agreed
to be their sub, but if you stay I'll always want more.”

Master Hugh's light sapphire eyes softened
with fondness and devotion. “You miss the lifestyle like I do?”

She nodded with lidded eyes, swallowing down
a lump in her throat. “My heart can't see you as anything but Master. I need
that, but I need all of you to be happy more than I need to be a slave.
Couldn't I be a
slub
?”

His lips quirked into an amused smile.
“A
slub
?”

She grinned. “Yeah, you know a cross between
a sub and a slave.”

He smirked. “I think I'm compromising enough
for you as it
is,
cinnamon. I'll be your bedroom Dom
or
your
Master, but halfway garbage is just going to
taunt me with something I can never have with you again. It has to be one or the
other. What you have or do with the others is up to you and them.”

Her heart seized with ardor when Master placed
his palm over the collar in her hand.

“You need to assert yourself tonight and be
honest about what it is you really want, or you'll never be happy. If you’re
truly yourself, you'll find the right person who can accept that. It they
can't, it means they're not worth it, and only an idiot would chase after
them.”

She knew what was coming, but rather than
smile over the familiar question, her eyes misted.

“Are you an idiot, Kayla?”

“No.” She almost said Master, but so much was
up in the air, she didn't know what to call him.

He seemed to wait for the title, looking
solemn when it never came, but he quickly veiled the hurt. “I have a
proposition for you. If you want to be a sub, then come out into the main area
clothed and wearing the blue collar they gave you. You'll have your freedom
outside the bedroom and only be submissive when we're having sex or doing a
scene.”

She swallowed, hands clamming and shaking.
“What if I want to be a slave?”

Hugh looked at her hard and serious. “Then
you'll come out into the main area where most of the members are, but you'll be
wearing the black collar I gave you.”

Well, that didn't sound so bad.

“Only the collar,” he finished.

Her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped. “You
want me to go out there naked in front of everyone?”

“Not if you want to be a bedroom submissive
only, but if you truly want to be my slave like you once were, then yes, you'll
walk out there naked and collared and kneel in front of me. I'll tie you down
to a bench and select a cane. You'll kiss it in acceptance, and then I'll cane
you into subspace before getting you off in front of everyone.”

She blinked rapidly, unsure if his intentions
were the alluring stuff of fantasy or the horrific material nightmares were
made of. “Everyone will see how chubby I am, and the cane will hurt so
bad
.”

“Then be a sub.” Hugh shrugged with a casual
indifference that hurt her as he opened the door. “But if you want to be my
slave again, I need you to trust me when I tell you your body is beautiful. I
want you to believe how incredible you look when all those people lust after
you, some of them masturbating to the lush sight of your naked body.”

More like puking.

“And your Master would require you to face
your fear of the cane to please him. I want to take the punishing weapon that
was used to hurt you before and bring you into headspace with it.”

Her body trembled. This was her choice. No
pressure, but she knew in her heart that she still viewed him as her Master.
She didn't have a choice. She wanted him that way. Nothing less would satisfy
her.

But the cane?

“I can't.” She sniffled and wiped her nose, a
fearful tear trickling down her cheek. “I've never gotten to subspace while
having the crap beat out of me with the cane by Slade. I don't believe that
even a skilled Dom like you can take me there with something so painful.”

His blue eyes twinkled with challenge. “Never
taunt a man who might end up using a cane on you, or I might make you come
twice.”

She shuddered, growing wet over the warning.

“Make your choice. It's what
you
want, not what I want or them.” Hugh
left the room, closing the door behind him.

She hugged her arms around herself, shivering
with exposure. Sub sounded safer, and it was what the Langley brothers wanted.
What the scared side of her wanted, too.

Slave sounded dangerous, but she remembered
how complete she'd felt when her Master had trained her, how whole being owned
had made her feel.

But the cane?
That sucker hurt like a bitch, and Hugh
expected her to walk out naked in front of everyone. She could suck in her gut
if need be, but she couldn't hide the slight jiggle of her butt when she walked
fast, or the cellulite the members would probably see when she was bound with
her bottom up, revealed for their scandalized eyes to see.

Of course the men who loved her thought she
was beautiful. They'd better. It was their job to make her feel good about
herself, but what about the other people? She knew she shouldn't care what they
thought, but it would hurt if she heard someone call her fat as Slade sometimes
had.

Miranda Langley had been slim as a teenager,
and it had pissed her off and likely hurt her feelings when some of the girls
had called her anorexic. Kayla knew for a fact Miranda had never been
underweight, just naturally slender. She had filled out into adulthood and
gotten some curves, but she was still trim and sexy.

Kayla envied her flat stomach, and Miranda
had envied Kayla for her large breasts. If only everyone could accept what they
had and accentuate their assets.

Kayla was more than happy to show off
cleavage. She had great breasts, but that wasn't all Hugh wanted of her. He
expected her to come out naked and show her
jiggly
ass and thick thighs off to everyone. Some of the members were average looking,
but there were some bombshell women out there and some hot looking men. They
would be disgusted by her, talk about her.

She didn't have to do this, nor did she have
to feel the nasty bite of the cane hurting her ever again ... but then she
couldn't be Hugh's slave. Did she want to put that out there, though? The
Langleys
wanted a
sub,
although
she knew Keith secretly wanted her to be his slave.

She'd originally thought the
Langleys
were too dark for her and she had to kink herself
up to please them, but what if her needs were too extreme for them? Did she
even want things to change? What if they didn't like her deep level of
subservience? Would she lose them?

What if she went out there clothed,
proclaiming a desire to be a bedroom submissive only? Would Hugh stay with her
like he said, or would he someday grow restless, burning with the need to own
her and tired of living his life unfulfilled?

He was right, though. She knew what her men
wanted, but now it all boiled down to what she really wanted. Her choice and
then the decision would be left in their hands.

Chapter
Sixteen: Theirs

Kayla tiptoed out into the hall, sighing in
relief when she didn't find anyone around. She crept down the stairs, heart
lurching in surprise when she saw Master Hugh standing at the bottom of the
staircase, watching her like Rhett Butler seeing Scarlett O'Hara for the first
time.

Their attire was all wrong for the illusion,
of course. Her Master wore Levi's, sneakers, a charcoal-gray blazer, and a
periwinkle cotton shirt that buttoned up the front.

Kayla wore nothing save for the black
training collar he’d given her.

She smiled when she saw the twinkle in his
caring eyes. They were so expressive, offsetting his stern but sad face
perfectly. He'd lived a hard life, but she could make him smile. The laugh
lines were there, but they were faint. She'd noticed how the lines of joy
bracketing his mouth had seemed to deepen the longer they were together.

“How did I know?” He gave her a small smile.

“I want to be your slave again, but I need
something different from the rest of them.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something, slave?”

Her pussy moistened at the control he took.
There was no way she would ever try to lead that man. He couldn't be tamed or
controlled. He was a Master through and through. But she could cause the harsh
realities of his past to fade by making him smile and laugh, by ensuring that
he had more wrinkles from happiness than he did from scowling at the things that
irritated him about people.

“Sorry, Master. It’s been a while.” She knelt
on the stairs, wobbling from her crouched position. “I need different things
from all of you. I’m not pretending for any of you. I’m a slave with you and a
sub with them, except for Virgil. They’re just different aspects of my
personality.”