GRIND (The Silver Nitrate Series Book 1) (38 page)

“I don’t want to go… I don’t want to leave, not like this.” He shook his head, his appetite crushed and obliterated.

“You have no idea how much I admire you.” Her voice trembled ever so slightly. “You’re so fun, yet mature, especially for your age. Brought your grandfather, your Paw, into your home to take care of him… How many guys your age would do something like that? You work crazy hours to make sure he has what he needs and then, when he won that money, you didn’t go out on a shopping spree. Nope. I haven’t seen you get anything for yourself; it’s all about your Paw. You’re a gem, a rarity in a fucked up world!” She sniffed. “You have had to miss out on good paying gigs and important rehearsals because of him—because you are determined to do right by him, and that… that’s beautiful, Zenith. But that brings me to my next point.”

“What?” He slid his hands slowly into his pockets and stood a bit straighter.

“You too are wrestling with some guilt, and I don’t care if you deny it until the day you die. It’s written all over your face. I can
smell
it on you. It isn’t just me, and it isn’t just about your Paw, either. It’s your parents, too. Something happened that was so bad, you can’t even admit it to yourself.”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” He turned away from her, trying to fight this, trying to give it one last, dying shot…but he felt a stinging in his eyes….

Oh no… please, I know I’m not about to cry like some baby! Why am I so upset about what she’s saying? ’Cause it’s true… because it’s true…

“I know exactly what I’m talking about.” She grabbed his arm and got up in his face, pointed so close to it he could see the details of her nail. The cuticle was a tad bit raggedy, most likely from the work she’d done on the chopper. “And that’s what pisses you off most. You love me because we’re the same, and you hate me because we’re the same.”

He hung his head, unable to look at her.

“I know when you’re hiding, running, and screaming inside. We can practically read each other’s minds. Like I told you, you can’t have it both ways, Zenith…” He dared to search her face. She swiped at her eye; he imagined it had been a tear, one born of anger, perhaps a hint of sorrow on his behalf, too. No… he knew why. He’d broken her heart. “You just can’t.”

He stood there for a minute, his chest rising and falling and a heaviness bearing down on him, his breathing impaired.

What am I going to do? I don’t want to do this!

“You just gonna stand there, looking all miffed and fucked up, huh?” She sucked her teeth and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not asking you nothing that I don’t have the right to know.
Fuck
a phone passcode! I want the passcode to your heart!”

“He killed her…” He blurted the words out; his tongue did the work while his brain tried to wrestle him to the ground and stifle his confessions.

“What?”

“In a roundabout way, my father killed my mother. He destroyed our family.” His eyes began to blur with unspent tears, but he still could make out the colors of her soul. And what a beautiful soul it was…

He could no longer deny her what she wanted and needed. He promised he would give her what was necessary to make her feel safe, secure… and he’d failed, until now. There they sat on the bed for several minutes, side by side, in silence. Zenith took several deep breaths, and then began.

“Alright, Silver, here’s what happened…” He took another deep breath, giving himself pep talks along the way. “My parents were community activists. When I…” He paused, wrung his hands together, feeling sick to his damn stomach. He feared he may puke the food he’d just swallowed, but he trudged on nevertheless. “When I was little, they’d take me to many of their rallies, protests, stuff like that. They helped the poor, boycotted unfair wages, things like that.”

Silver leaned into him, pressing her shoulder into his.

“I grew up being taught about right and wrong. My father…he was a good father. My mother was good, too… real good. I was fortunate and close to both of them. I had a good childhood up until age five. That’s when everything fell apart.” His heart threatened to burst in his chest and old pain rose up his gut as the memories he’d buried raced back once more to the forefront. And then, he gave himself permission to unleash.

The nasty, ugly truth was coming out, and there was no turning back…

This concludes ‘Grind’, the first book of the two novel series, ‘Silver Nitrate.’ The next and final book, ‘Grit’, is available NOW for purchase.

Thank you!

Now, typically, I compile a music directory and leave it at the end of my books, so this is nothing new, but the music directory in THIS book is even more crucial because of the fact that the hero, Zenith Taylor, is in fact a very gifted drummer. Please take a little time to go over scenes you enjoyed and try to listen to the music mentioned, playing along with the scene. I’m certain Paw and Zenith would thank you kindly. LOL. Additionally, if you enjoy any of the songs, please check out the artists who created them and purchase a legal copy of their song and/or album. That is how musical artists, writers, singers, rappers, etc. continue to have the income to create the work that you enjoy. Creator Blessed!

1.   Lauren Hill – Ex-Factor

2.   Miguel – Adore

3.   Frank Ocean – Novocane

4.   Roy Ayer – Everybody Loves the Sunshine

5.   J. Holiday – Bed

6.   System of a Down – Toxicity

7.   J. Dilla – Dreamy

8.   Eazy E. – Boyz N tha Hood

9.   The Carpenters – Close to You

10.  Con Funk Shun – Love Train

11.  P.M. Dawn – Set Adrift of Memory Bliss of You

12.  Rico Richie – Poppin’

13.  J. Cole – Wet Dreamz

14.  Bread – Make It With You

15.  Toni Braxton – Just Be a Man About It

16.  Cybotron – Clear

17.  Mantronix – Scream

18.  Ghost Town DJs – My Boo

19.  Ready for the World – Let Me Love You Down

20.  Omarion – I’m Up

21.  Alessia Cara – Here

22.  Kongos – Come With Me Now

23.  John Newman – Losing Sleep

24.  Calvin Harris – Feels So Close

25.  Calvin Harris –Summer

26.  Maroon 5 – Sugar

27.  Tom Sawyer – Rush

28.  ACDCs – Back in Black

29.  Snow – informer

30.  Ini Kamoze – Here Comes the HotStepper

31.  Avant ft. Keke Wyatt – My First Love

32.  Judas Priest – Pain Killer

33.  Van Halen – Hot For Teacher

34.  Miguel – Pussy is Mine

35.  Miguel – How Many Drinks

36.  Jeremih – Planes

37.  Anita Baker – Sweet Love

38.  George Clinton and Parliament – Atomic Dog

39.  George Clinton and Parliament – One Nation Under a Groove

40.  Trey Songz – Ready to make love

41.  Trey Songz – I Want You

42.  Trey Songz – Sex for your Stereo

43.  Stephanie Mills –Home

44.  Sheila E. – A Love Bizarre

45.  Switch – I Call Your Name

46.  El Debarge – I Like It

47.  Trey Songz – On Top

48.  Trey Songz – More Than That

I want thank all of my loyal readers, as well as new readers, for purchasing, ‘Grind.’ I don’t take you for granted, for your eyes as you read my written words make the book come to life. You are the light, and you are appreciated.