Groom in Training (10 page)

Nick didn’t comment. He turned and headed for the house.

W
hen Nick closed his car door, he heard Suzette in the backyard. He ambled back, hoping Fred and Steph were out. Instead, the dog sat beneath a tree, yipping at a red squirrel sitting above her in the branches. It looked like a face-off. He grinned, thinking of Fred’s squirrel attack.

Hal’s car still sat in front of Steph’s, and though he wanted to talk with him about a job idea, he leaned against the fence, hoping to see Steph. So much had changed with the kiss. He’d wanted to kiss her for the past two weeks, but wisdom stopped him. He hadn’t felt ready for romance, and then she hadn’t been a Christian. But seeing her read the Bible, asking his mother questions about God’s meaning in the verses, all these things gave him hope and his concern had subsided.

Still, kissing her two days ago had startled him. It had happened as naturally as the sun going down in the evening and had been as beautiful. Her amazing smile, her full lips that looked soft—and they were—never left his mind. For a man who’d crossed women off his list for so long, his action didn’t fit his plan, and today his enthusiasm to see
her didn’t fit, either. He sensed his plan slipping away. His feelings were real. Now to resolve the pile of problems that insisted on ruining his life. He planned to start now.

Today, he would apologize to Martin. If his mother learned about their tiff, it would be one more situation that would add to her unhappiness. He and Martin needed to stick together, at least for his mother’s sake. Anyway he knew that repentance and forgiveness went hand in hand, so he wanted to tell Martin he was sorry for his behavior. He still didn’t plan to be Martin’s gofer.

Then came Hal. Nick had witnessed Steph’s stress with her brother. During dinner, Hal had made a few snide remarks about Nick’s lateness. Nick regretted that, and he observed Steph’s uneasiness with Hal’s comment. But she babied her brother and couldn’t seem to stop.

Still, breaking old habits took time. He’d mentioned the problem of enabling, and she seemed to understand, but acting on it took more courage than talking. He knew that from his own relationship with Martin.

From their conversation at dinner, Nick sensed the problem could get worse. Hal made the point that he planned to stay in Michigan and look for work. He obviously assumed he’d stay with Steph.

Nick had no thought of resolving all his issues in one day, but he and Steph needed to talk about them. And they needed to talk about their relationship. Until their kiss when he showed Steph affection, reticence appeared in her eyes. But her actions didn’t match the look. She seemed to have enjoyed his romantic advances. Who was he to question? He’d acted the same way.

Nick cut short his thoughts when he noticed Steph’s new rock garden. She’d already planted flowers, colorful ones that would weave around the stones. He smiled, picturing
her on her knees, probably fighting off Fred, to place the flowers in the perfect spot.

The patio door slid open, jarring Nick’s pulse, but instead of Steph, Hal stepped out along with Fred, who bounded to greet Suzette. Hal gave him a suspicious look while he strolled across the grass.

Nick raised his hand in greeting.

“She’s not home.” Hal faced him across the fence.

“You mean, Steph?”

“Who else?”

His smugness grated, but he shrugged it off. “I wanted to talk with you anyway.”

If ever Nick had seen someone’s defenses rise, he saw it today. “About what?”

“About a job.”

Hal folded his arms across his chest, a sneer growing on his face. “And?”

“I own a company that makes parts for tools.”

Hal’s eyebrow made a subtle arch.

“I don’t have an opening today, but I’ll have one in a week or so. If you’d like to drop by the office, I’d be happy to have you fill out an application and talk to you about the job.” He pulled out his wallet and extended his business card.

Hal eyed it with disdain. “What’s the catch?”

Nick drew back. “Catch? There is none.”

His stark gaze softening, Hal’s brow lowered. “Is it an office job?”

Office job? He had to be kidding. “No. It’s in the factory, but the work isn’t heavy so it won’t bother your back.” Why was he trying to convince him? The guy came across as useless.

Hal finally grasped the card, glanced at it and shoved it in his shirt pocket. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He dropped his hands and turned toward Martin’s house. As he headed inside, he remembered. Steph had the wedding rehearsal. She’d probably be gone all evening.

He turned and walked backward, clapping his hands. “Suzette.”

She peered at him, her eyes peeking through her wispy bangs, then turned and trotted away.

So much for obedience.

He strode back to the fence and caught her collar and forced her to follow. He and Martin needed to talk but leaving Suzette outside with Fred would just cause another argument. At the back door, he paused. Maybe he should go to the front and ring the bell. Nick tossed the idea around, then decided to do what he always did. He opened the back door and dodged Suzette as she darted in, then stepped inside. His nerves kicked in, and he took a lengthy breath to ready himself for whatever. He never knew what to expect with Martin.

Hearing the murmur of the television, Nick headed toward the living room, assuming he’d find Martin there. He stopped in the archway, waiting to be acknowledged.

Martin turned his head, eyed him, then turned back to the news.

Nick ambled in, his mind tangled in how to proceed. He sat on the edge of the sofa, waiting for his brother to speak. He didn’t so Nick gave in and broke the silence. “I came to apologize.”

“I see.” He sat as rigid and unmoving as a statue.

“I’m sorry about walking out the other day. I don’t want to argue with you. For Mom’s sake, we need to be…on speaking terms.” He’d wanted to say friends but that never would be.

“You’re the one who walked out. Not me.”

“That’s right.” He sat, nodding his head. Martin stared at the television. Nick dropped against the cushion and folded his hands.

“What do you want, Nick?” Martin finally turned to face him.

“To get along. To be honest. To—”

“Honest?” Martin’s brows knitted. “I’ve always been honest with you.”

Nick struggled with what he wanted to say. The topic seemed too complex to put into words. He raised his back from the cushion and rested his palms on his knees. “May I ask you a question?”

“About what?” He eyed Nick a second, then sank back into the chair.

“About us. About who we are and why.” Nick’s stomach rolled, and he almost wished he hadn’t pursued the topic.

Martin’s eyes glazed. “We’re the Davis brothers.”

“I mean, who we are in here?” He tapped his chest. “I don’t understand me half the time, and I wonder if we put our thoughts together it might help me to understand myself.”

“You’re not making sense to me at all, Nick. Ask Mother.”

The dig ripped through Nick’s civility. “Right. Thanks for the great idea.”

“Sorry.” Martin lowered his gaze. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

The unexpected apology soothed Nick’s irritation. “Thank you.” He rose and wandered toward the window, looking out at the sun glinting off the hood of his car. “I’m serious.” He turned to face him. “I always think of you as the son who could do anything. Me? I bungled along, hoping to make Mom and Dad proud, but I don’t think I ever did.”

“What?” Martin’s tone raised a decibel. “You were the
baby. You made them laugh. You gave them joy. Whatever you wanted they gave you. I worked hard to be the best I could and never felt it was enough. They expected me to be on top.”

Nick drew back his shoulders, hoping to ease the stress he felt. “I never saw that.” His mind soared back to years earlier, trying to envision their childhood. “I think you demanded it of yourself.”

“That was you, Nick. Mom and Dad allowed you to make mistakes. I never could.”

Nick rubbed his forehead, wishing he hadn’t started this today. “I made lots of mistakes. I made them with Cara although I never totally understood. She said I neglected her.”

“Maybe she needed too much, Nick. Her walking away might have done you a favor.”

A favor? The idea startled him. Had she needed too much? Steph asked for so little. He tried to grasp Martin’s words. “I saw her breaking our engagement as failure. Mom and Dad loved Cara. I disappointed them.” And he’d disappointed himself.

“If you think you let them down, think how often I did. They didn’t understand my divorce from Denise. And I wanted things that they didn’t want for me. It hurt seeing the disappointment in Mom’s eyes and the frustration in Dad’s.”

Nick dug into his memory. He had no recollection of anything he’d just heard. Martin had always been in his parents’ favor. “Like what?”

“It’s over. Not up for discussion.”

His brother’s typical response. Nick disliked when Martin snapped the door closed. “No discussion, but one final thought.” He pinpointed Martin’s gaze. “Are you spending your life still trying to prove yourself? You can’t make yourself better, Martin, by putting other people down.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

They sat in silence while Nick tried to sort out what had been said. Had he learned anything new about himself? Maybe. Martin’s comment about Cara hung in his mind.
Maybe she needed too much, Nick. She might have done you a favor.
He’d always blamed himself.

Nick rose and gave his brother’s shoulder an amiable shake before walking out the door. He had things to think about, and he prayed Martin did, too.

When Steph walked through the door, Julia was sitting in a chair, her pale cheeks showing a pinky hue, her hazel eyes looking almost olive. “You look wonderful.” Steph crossed the tile floor and kissed her on the cheek. Her action surprised her more than Julia.

“Thank you.” Julia smiled at Steph, her speech much less labored.

“I have to get my hair curled and you were so close, I decided to make a quick stop.”

“I’m glad.” Julia reached forward with her left hand, and Steph clasped it in hers, then studied her. “Your hair.”

Steph recognized it as a question, and she touched her straight style and grinned. “I’m getting it curled. I’m a bridesmaid in my coworker’s wedding.”

“Wedding. That’s nice.” She gave Steph’s fingers a faint squeeze then let her hand drop to the blanket. “A friend?”

“My friend Molly’s wedding. She has a dog shelter, and I help her with that and then run a doggie day care in the same building.”

“I love dogs.” Her eyes sparkled. “Martin has one.”

Martin. Her
R
s were still weak, but she seemed so much better. “I know. Suzette.”

Julia nodded, then studied Steph a moment again before she tilted her head and drew her hand to her chest. “You and Nick?”

“Friends.”

Something flashed in her eyes—curiosity or disappointment. “Only?”

Steph’s pulse skipped. “Only friends…for now.” She watched Julia trying to form words and she longed to help her. “Very good friends, though.” Her comment riffled along her arms.

“Someday?” Hope brightened Julia’s face.

Though she’d known Nick’s mother for only a few weeks, the sense of family she had missed for such a long time embraced her as did Julia’s tender look. An urge rose to be open with her. “I’m a widow.”

“Oh.”

Even with the distortion from the stroke, Steph read sadness in her expression, and she shook her head to help Julia understand. “It was a troubled marriage.” Troubled. The weight of the past drained her spirit. She’d kept it a secret so long as if she’d used her own hands to kill Doug. She’d spent years convincing herself she’d been innocent.

Julia studied her, and Steph released her anxiety with a lengthy breath and spilled the story of Doug’s dismaying suicide and the problems before his death as if it were stagnant water that ended life. When she’d finished, relief covered her and she was surprised that she’d opened up so quickly.

Julia’s face filled with compassion, her altered voice speaking an occasional sound of sympathy.

“I don’t tell people about this. Not even Nick.”

“No?” Her expression asked why.

“I don’t want pity, and it’s difficult to trust that pity won’t be an influence on relationships. Nick is compas
sionate.” She paused to rephrase the comment. “But he doesn’t like to deal with emotion.”

“You know him well.”

Steph grinned at that. She had begun to know Nick, even some nuances of his character. “I’m afraid he’ll stick with me, because I need him and not because he cares about me.”

Julia shook her head. “I don’t think so.” Her gaze drifted before she refocused on Steph. “But I understand.”

Steph’s mind snapped to another truth, and her pulse raced. “I want you to know another thing that has kept me from moving beyond friendship with Nick. I’ve never been a believer. He knows, but he’s had patience with me. Maybe he has hope.”

“Hope. Yes. Always.” Julia’s eyes searched hers. “But the Bible?”

“Yes, I read it to you. Why? Because I was curious.”

“Good.”

“Scared but curious.” Her pulsed accelerated as she leaned closer. “Here’s another secret. I bought a Bible for myself, and I’ve been reading it. I want to have the peace and hope that Nick and Molly have.” She touched Julia’s unmoving hand. “And you.”

“I’m glad.”

“I started reading where I left off with you, and it touched me.” The memory washed over her sending a knot to her throat. “I read a verse that explained so many things, and it—”

Steph’s cell phone played its jingle and she paused to dig it from her purse. She flipped open the phone and eyed the caller before she pressed the phone to her ear. “Hi, Nick.”

“I thought I’d stop over to talk about tonight.”

“Molly’s sister is picking me up, and we’re getting dressed at the church. You know, they do photographs and things.”

“So I can’t drive you?”

She heard the disappointment in his voice. “You could, but it’s not necessary.”

“How about if I drop by in a couple hours. We can talk then.”