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Authors: Ron Goulart

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“You’re falling behind on your acorn quota,” Groucho told the squirrel, who was standing on his hind legs and eyeing us from a couple feet away. “I’ve been thinking, Frank—which is something I try to do at least once every day, rain or shine. I’ve been thinking that it’s somewhat odd that two of the women who are involved in this mess were also chummy with the late Nick Sanantonio.”

“Meaning there might be some kind of link between the gambler’s murder and Manheim’s?”

He shrugged his left shoulder and took another puff of his cigar. “Might be a connection, might just be a coincidence,” he said. “Or mayhap one of the damsels is a jinx and every guy she comes near gets bumped off.”

“I’ll contact one of my informants back in Los Angeles, dig up some more about Sanantonio’s relationship with these two actresses,” I offered. “You should be able to get Dian Bowers to provide you with some details of what really went on between her and Sanantonio and if Manheim ties in somehow.”

“I’m going to see the lady in question right after my
Mikado
rehearsal this afternoon,” he said. “I’ll ask a few deft and subtle questions, not to mention a whole batch of blunt and offensive ones.”

“Manheim had a reputation for being extremely protective of his protégées,” I said. “If Sanantonio was tomcatting around Dian, maybe Manheim warned him off and that annoyed some of the guys in the Mob.”

“It’s not a good idea to annoy the Mob, no,” he said, stretching up off the bench. “All this pastoral tranquility is giving me palpitations. Let’s move on.”

We moved on and the squirrel went bouncing away toward the nearest tree.

Twenty-two

T
he Maximus Publications Building rose a dozen-and-a-half stories above Lexington Avenue in the East 50s. The eleventh floor was devoted to movie magazines, pulp fiction magazines, and comic books.

As I made my way back to May Sankowitz’s temporary office, I noticed cover proofs for
Movietown, Hollywood Screen, Snappy Detective, Snappy Western, Hyperman, and Capt. Starr Comics
scattered on desks, pinned to drawing boards, tacked to corkboard walls. There were about thirty people scattered around at desks, boards, and in cubbyhole offices. About half of them were talking either to each other or on telephones and just about all of them were smoking. It was pretty much like a newsroom, though not as noisy.

A thin young cartoonist held up a rough sketch of a comic book cover when I passed through his section of the big room. “I need an outside opinion, pal. What do you think?”

The work was untitled. “Is that Hyperman?”

“Naw, it’s Capt. Starr.”

I noticed that the hero did have a star emblazoned on his broad, sketchy chest. He was wrestling with a gorilla who wore a Nazi armband, intent on saving a blonde girl who was about to be bronzed in a huge smoking cauldron.

I said, “It’s action-packed.”

“I know, but is it believable?”

“Matter of fact, I just witnessed a similar scene at the corner of Madison and Fifty-third,” I assured him.

“Another wiseass.” Slapping the drawing back against his slanted drawing board, he turned his back on me.

Finding a door marked
Hollywood Screen
, I tapped on it.

“If you’re not Frank Denby,” called May Sankowitz, “you can go to hell.”

“What a break for me that I’m the world’s only existing Frank Denby,” I said, entering the small, narrow office.

May was seated behind the cluttered desk, legs up, shoes off. Her hair was now a quiet shade of red. “Throw that crap on the floor, Frank dear, and sit yourself down.”

“New shade of hair,” I mentioned as I removed the stack of
Hollywood Screen
page proofs and some photos off the only other chair in the little office. The top photos were glossies of Dian Bowers. She looked very demure.

“Yeah, this is my Manhattan hair color,” explained my writer friend. “It’s not as subtle as my LA hue.”

“True.” I settled into the chair.

“The closer you get to fifty, the more obvious you tend to be.” May swung her legs off the desktop, sat up straight. “Before I provide you any more free and valuable inside info, dear, tell me every blessed thing you know about the Manheim murder.”

“I got there after he was killed, also after he fell out of the closet and onto the stage at the Coronet,” I told May. “Most of what I know is hearsay.”

“Firsthand hearsay is just fine.” She made an impatient start-talking gesture with her right hand. “Tell me.”

I gave her a quick account of what I knew. “Now, as to why I—”

“And they arrested Bill Washburn?”

“Not exactly, May. They seem to be holding him for questioning.”

“My deal to accompany the so-called Dian Bowers as she gets introduced
to New York City has been postponed,” she said. “But now I think I can work up something a lot juicier.
I Stood By My Killer Husband!
Perfect for our moronic subscribers.”

“You can run a picture of Washburn wrestling a gorilla on the cover.”

“Huh?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. I’ve been reading too much Capt. Starr,” I said. “I want to know about your friend Len Cowan.”

“Who?”

“The dancer, the guy who was supposed to be part of the Chicago
Step Right Up
company,” I said. “I saw him with you when we arrived in New York the other morning.”

“Leonard, sure. Cute kid, though a little young for me. And a lousy temper.”

“Why isn’t he in Chicago?”

“Oh, he got a better offer and quit.”

“What kind of offer?”

“Something to do with a musical show that’s going to be staged at the World’s Fair. Supposed to pay better and Leonard’s going to be a featured dancer in it.”

“Know the name of the show?”

May rested both elbows on the desk. “Why all this interest in an erstwhile chorus boy, dear?”

“He may tie in with the Manheim business somehow. Groucho and I are interested in—”

“I thought you swore to me that you fellas had quit playing detective.”

“That was before Manheim got killed. Now, to make sure that Washburn doesn’t get railroaded for the crime, we—”

“Why do you give a good god damn about what happens to a onetime B-movie actor?”

“We’re also concerned about Dian Bowers.”

“Ah, yes, right. Just like the Lone Ranger and Tonto, you’re dedicated to looking after sweet innocent maidens.”

“It’s a little more complex than—”

“Only hitch, sweet, is that little Dian doesn’t quite qualify for the role of dewy-eyed virgin.”

“Yeah, I figured that after marrying Washburn, she lost her status as—”

“I was alluding to the fact that she’s also spent some time in the sack with Nick Sanantonio,” said May. “That sort of thing can—”

“Is this Hollywood gossip or do you know for—”

“Most gossip, Frank, is built on a firm foundation of truth,” May reminded me. “And I know for a fact that the now-saintly Dian was as cozy as you can get with that gangster.”

“What ended it?”

“Don’t know, but I’d guess that Manheim pulled in her reins.”

“I hear he did things like that.”

“He kept a very close watch on his discoveries.” She glanced at her wristwatch. “And now, dear, I have to attend a press conference and two screenings simultaneously. Bye.”

“Good-bye,” I said and left.

G
roucho, as he later told me, stepped from the afternoon brightness of the Manhattan sidewalk into the shadowy quiet of a tearoom. The name of the place was the Queen of Cups and it was on a side street at the edge of the Gramercy Park area.

Even though there were only a few patrons in the small tea parlor, he didn’t initially notice Dian Bowers among them. At the table nearest the tiny foyer a large blonde woman in a vaguely Gypsy outfit was using a deck of oversized tarot cards to give a reading to an uneasy tourist couple.

“Over here,” said a quiet voice off in the shadows on his right.

Dian was sitting alone at a small circular table. She wore a simple grey suit and dark glasses, no makeup, and a scarf over her closecropped hair.

“What news?” asked Groucho, sitting opposite the actress.

She gave a small sigh. “They’re still holding Bill, but the attorney I hired for him tells me they’ll be releasing him in time for tonight’s performance of
Make Mine Murder
.”

“You seem far from pleased by the news.”

“I think maybe they’re only giving him enough rope to hang himself.”

“He’s innocent, so he can’t very well do that,” he pointed out. “And we intend to find out who the real killer is.” He paused, watching her. “You do believe Bill’s innocent, don’t you?”

After a few silent seconds, she answered, “I do, yes, but …”

“But?”

“It’s only that …” She shook her head, leaned closer to him, lowered her voice. “There are some things that the police don’t know about yet.”

“Such as?”

“Well, out in Los Angeles last year-”

“Would the gentleman like a cup of tea?” inquired the thin waitress who appeared beside their table. She, too, was in a vaguely Gypsy costume.

“Are you referring to me?” said Groucho, eyebrows rising. “If so, I must warn you that there are such things as slander laws in this state, miss, and calling me a gentleman in public constitutes—”

“Oh, you’re Groucho Marx,” the waitress suddenly realized. “That explains it. For a moment, you see, I thought you were just another rude middle-aged moron trying to be funny.”

“Right on both counts,” he said. “I’ll have the same thing the lady’s having.” When the waitress departed, he frowned across at Dian. “You were about to reveal some deep dark secrets in your husband’s past.”

“I didn’t behave too well to Bill,” she said quietly. “I let Manheim persuade me that it would be a great idea to separate from my husband. I … well, I pretty much turned over my life to Manheim.” She tapped her fingertip against the handle of her teacup. “At one point Bill got very
angry and tried to get in to see me. Manheim had some men who were sort of extra bodyguards … or maybe bouncers is a better word. Anyway, I’m pretty certain that Manheim had them work Bill over. Beat him up, then warn him to keep away from me.”

“Where were you residing at the time?”

She looked down at the crisp white tablecloth. “Well, okay. I did live at Manheim’s mansion for a few months.” Groucho said, “Of course, I’m not the average husband, but I think I, too, might be a trifle upset if my wife was domiciled with a movie mogul.”

“I didn’t say it was a smart thing to do. But I did it.”

“Being beaten up on orders from Manheim—that would give Bill one more reason for wanting to kill him,” Groucho said. “It definitely adds an item to his list of motives for murdering the guy. Who knows about it?”

“Enough people,” she answered, sipping her tea.

“Then eventually Lieutenant Lewin is going to get wind of it.”

“I’m afraid that’ll happen, yes.”

Groucho’s tea arrived. He ignored it and rested an elbow on the table. “There’s another rumor that’s come to my attention,” he told her. “And I’d like a bit more information.”

“Something else about Bill?”

“About you,” he corrected.

She gave him a perplexed look. “I’ll tell you anything I can, if it’ll help my husband.”

“You knew Nick Sanantonio a lot better than you let on when you were chatting about him on the train,” he said.

“That’s not true.”

Groucho said, “So your story is you were just friends?”

“If you’re supposed to be a friend of mine,” she said, angry, “then I don’t know what purpose it serves to dig up some cheap gossip about me.”

“I’m supposed to be a friend of both you and Bill,” he corrected.
“Sanantonio was also killed and it occurs to me that there might be some connection between the two murders. If you maintain you barely knew him, then we’ll drop it and I’ll search around for—”

“All right, Groucho,” the actress said. “I guess it won’t do much good to pretend that I’ve been a loyal wife ever since Bill and I split up.” She took a slow deep breath in, then slowly exhaled. “Yes, I had an affair with Nick. It lasted for a couple of months and it might be dragging on still if Manheim hadn’t cracked down.”

“Cracked down how?”

“He had Arneson contact some people and they contacted Nick,” she answered, her voice faint. “Basically they told him to lay off me or he’d be in serious trouble.”

“Sanantonio agreed?”

“For a while,” she answered.

Groucho narrowed his left eye, studying her. “Meaning what exactly?”

“I think Nick broke up with whoever else it was he’d been seeing recently,” she said. “He apparently decided he’d like to start dating me again. He telephoned me a few times, tried to come see me. I wasn’t interested, though, and that ended it.”

“Did it now?” Groucho picked up his teacup, then set it down. “Were Manheim, Arneson, and their assorted heavies aware of this newest attempt by Sanantonio?”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe so,” she answered, not too confidently. “But then there wasn’t much about my life and times that they didn’t know.”

“Is Willa Jerome a pal of yours?”

“Hardly,” she replied. “She was on the Super Chief with us and we exchanged hellos. That’s about it. Why?”

“She was, supposedly, another one of Sanantonio’s girlfriends.”

“I’ve heard gossip that she was, but he never mentioned her to me,” said Dian. “I hear she’s not that terrific an actress and that she made all kinds of trouble during the shooting of
Trafalgar Square
.”

“Everybody in the movie business isn’t as easygoing and even-tempered as I am,” he reminded. He tasted his tea, winced.

“Listening to myself talk just now,” she said after a moment, “I don’t sound especially saintly.”

“Saint Joan
was a movie,” he told her. “And this is real life or at least a reasonable facsimile.”

BOOK: Groucho Marx and the Broadway Murders

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