Guarded Heart (17 page)

When we got home and everything was unloaded into the
bedroom that would soon belong to Kane we offered a beer to Mason and Mitch.
The three of them stood around in the kitchen as Alli and I went through the
things from the shower. We had gotten the furniture delivered last week and I
knew the next few days I had my work cut out for me because I needed to wash
all the clothes and bedding for our little man. Wes chose the theme of the room
which ended up being baby zoo animals with a lot of blue and yellow which at
first I was regretting allowing him to choose but I was quickly changing my
mind and becoming a little more accepting.

I left Allison is the room while I ran down to get us
some water and as I was coming down the stairs I heard the guys talking. “Well
I better get going Carrie is still at the bar waiting for me. She wasn’t too
happy when I told her she couldn’t ride along with us to the shower.”
Carrie…was Wes really hanging out with her this afternoon. The same Carrie he
dated while we had split up? “Yeah tell her sorry about that I know if I showed
up to get everything with Carrie tagging along…well let’s just say that Sam
would have been pissed as hell and I would be sleeping on the couch.” There it
was the conformation I needed to know that it was in fact that Carrie. I
continued down the stairs when I entered the kitchen they were gathered around
the center counter and all three sets of eyes turned to me. I continued to the
refrigerator and grabbed the waters. “Hey baby I got to take Mason back to the
bar he left his car there…I won’t be long. Did you need anything while I’m
out?” I thought about it for a second and started back for the stairs hollering
over my shoulder, “No I’m good…oh but make sure you tell Carrie hi for me.
Maybe she can keep you warm tonight while you’re sleeping on Mitch’s couch or
better yet maybe Mason’s couch is more comfy.”

I had not even reached the bottom step before Wes was
right behind me grabbing onto my hips to hold me in place. When he turned me to
face him he looked a little worried…not nervous but worried about my reaction.
“Samantha, she was at the bar…that’s it. Mason is Carrie’s brother. Just because
she was there does not mean I was there with her. I can’t control who shows up
where…you know that.” I backed away from him, “No you can’t…but you are the
only one who controls what you hide from me and what you choose to tell me.”

After everyone left I spent the rest of the day going
through the baby things trying to get stuff organized. Actually I just was a
little hurt and found it to be the best way to calm my nerves. Wes had taken
Mason back to his car and then went to pick up Kayla. They arrived back home
with dinner and a movie. After I took a shower I went downstairs to joined them
but curled up on the loveseat by myself while Kayla snuggled up to Wes on the
couch. He tried to convince me to join him but being the stubborn ass that I am
I never budged. My head was hurting I felt nauseous and I knew I had spent too
much time on my feet because they were huge and swollen now. I just was not in
the mood to have him try to suck up to me and apologize. I ended up falling
sleep and missing over half of the movie.

“Baby come on let me help you to bed…do you want me to
carry you?” God my head hurt so bad I felt like it was going to explode at any
moment. “Damn it Wes just let me sleep I am fine.” I shrugged away from him and
pulled the blanket to me tighter. “Stop being so stubborn Sam…Let me help you
upstairs and then I will leave you alone.” Every time he talked my head just
pounded harder, “Stop talking…I have a damn headache…just go to bed Wes.” I
jerked my arm back and turned away from him. After a couple minutes I heard him
head up stairs.

‘Wes’

“Sam…Can you hear me…Baby wake up.” He lifted me from the
floor of the kitchen and carried me to the couch. That is where he found me the
next morning. As he lowered me down onto the couch I began to shake and
convulse. “Oh shit…baby…Sam…Fuck!” He held me tightly and when the shaking
stopped he reached for the phone and dialed 911.

“I need an ambulance at 1881 Sierra Ave quickly…My
fiancée she is pregnant and I think she’s having seizures…no she isn’t
responding to me…please hurry.” He called Allison and Mitch next they are the
closest ones in distance and he needed someone quickly to stay with MaKayla.

The ambulance arrived and Wes tried to keep Kayla away so
she would not be scared. Shortly after Mitch ran up the sidewalk as Allison
stood watching the EMT’s load me into the back of the ambulance. Wes told them
a quick summary of what happened and they agreed to take Kayla to his parent’s
house then meet them at the hospital. Wes followed in his truck and made a
couple calls to his sister and mother on the way. He wasn’t able to see much of
me once we got there. I was still unresponsive and due to the state of my
condition there was no time to be wasted. They led him to a waiting room and he
sat alone and scared. He hung his head and began to cry.

“Wes…Are you okay?” He lifted his head to Allison and
Mitch as they walked into the waiting room. Alli knelt on the floor in front of
him and wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him and he broke down on her
shoulder. Mitch found a seat next to him. After a few minutes passed when he
was able to calm himself he sat back and ran his hands through his hair.
Allison sat down next to Mitch, “Kayla is with your brother and sister in law,
I think your mom and sister are on the way here. Have you heard anything?” Wes
just shook his head. He looked miserable and lost, “I shouldn’t have left her
downstairs. I tried to get her to come to bed but she was still pretty pissed
about Carrie being at the bar. I just left her downstairs and went to bed. She
may have needed me and I wasn’t there. What if she hollered out for me but I
slept through it. I didn’t wake up, I didn’t check on her. What if she fell? I
should have forced her to go to bed.” Allison just let out an exhausted laugh,
“Wes you know that making Sam do anything she doesn’t want to do is impossible.
She is stubborn as hell and this is not your fault. Stop with the ‘What Ifs’
everything will work out…it has too.”

The time was dragging on with no answers. Wes was now
surrounded by concerned family and friends. His parents and sister were now
with him along with Mitch and Alli. A nurse entered from the side door marked
‘Medical Personal Only’, “Wesley Craven?” She spoke as she looked around the
waiting room. He stood immediately and she walked over to the group. “I’m the
RN assigned to Samantha Riggin’s and I’m told you are her fiancée?” Wes nodded
his head, “Yes I am is she okay? My son…” She guided Wes back to his seat and
was quickly joined by an attending physician as they began to explain the
situation, “Samantha has what is called Eclampsia…she has had a couple seizures
since she arrived and we are now prepping her for an emergency C-section. Her
blood pressure is extremely high and in order to treat that we need to delivery
your baby. The risk factors are too high for both of them right now. She is
just shy of eight months and the baby is developed enough for delivery. The
longer we leave this untreated the higher the risk. As of now…Samantha is still
unresponsive and the baby seems to be fine and under no stress at this time. I
will be able to give you more details once the delivery is complete and we are
able to begin treatment on Samantha. We believe that this was caught quickly
which is a good thing. The fact that her blood pressure is so high may be
causing the repeated seizures. Has she experienced any symptoms or any seizures
that you know of?”

Wes shook his head as he took in all the information,
“Um…headache she has been having headaches lately. She isn’t really one to
complain so if things were really bad she wouldn’t show it. Uh…Alli…Seizures…I
mean I don’t know of any do you?” Wes felt horrible that he couldn’t answer
that he never heard her talk about ever having one but Alli would know better.
“Never, she is healthy and rarely sick.” The doctor stood and explained that
headaches could be an early sign. After a few more questions he and the nurse
excused themselves to get back to Samantha.

The next hour seemed more like five. Wes was pacing and
Allison was biting her nails to the quick. Mitch nervously tapped his foot and
Rachel and her mother tried their best to calm Wes…unsuccessfully because
nothing would do that until he knew both Samantha and his son were going to be
okay. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he didn’t take care of her…he didn’t
pay attention to the signs…he had somehow failed her and that broke his heart.

When the doors came open and the same nurse walked
through she smiled at Wes and walked directly to him. “Your son is perfect…healthy
and they should be bringing him through in the next ten minutes just right down
the hall so you can see him…Samantha is still unresponsive but they have
started the medication and she is being monitored they have her stabilized and they
will be placing her into a room at which time we will take to see her.” He
nodded his head and turned to face everyone. “My son’s here…Kane is here.” He
still felt half empty he needed to hear that Sam was okay he needed to see her
beautiful smile and see her holding their son.

About ten minutes later the incubator was wheel up just
outside the waiting room on its way to the nursery. As everyone gathered to get
the first look at Kane Wes began to cry. He couldn’t stop the tears. It wasn’t
supposed to be like this. Samantha and he had talked about the delivery over
and over. They had imagined it in their heads of him coaching her along during
contractions and brushing her hair from her face. Hearing their son cry for the
first time as the both looked at his fingers and all his little toes together.
Sam should be right here with him seeing her son. The emotions he was feeling
overtook him. He was so happy that Kane was healthy and going to be okay but he
couldn’t help feeling extremely sad that Sam was still not in the clear.

“How much does he weigh…he is so tiny?” Allison asked the
nurse. “He is 5lbs 2 ounces and daddy so far he seems to be a quiet little
guy.” Wes smiled the best he could and thanked her for taking care of him. The
nurse explained that he would be able to visit the nursery and that they would
get him a badge for entry. He only heard half of what she said and he stared at
Kane all bundled up in front of him. He had a full head of coal black hair and
it reminded him a MaKayla. Kane had Sam’s nose, the shape of his forehead he
had to admit definitely came from him because Kayla has the same one.

The hours crept by and he felt drained the nurses had
brought his badge to get into the nursery and he had yet to go visit his son…he
needed to see Sam. His anxiousness was getting a little hard to contain. He
felt at any moment he may just go barging in through the entrance of ICU and
find Samantha’s room on his own.

“Mr. Craven…” he jumped up when he heard his name. The
nurse was standing in the doorway waiting for him. “If you follow me I can take
you back to see Samantha, someone can come along with you but just two people
at a time.” Hell yes he would follow her, Allison came along with him. He
needed to see her, he needed to feel her skin and see her breath. “She is
breathing on her own so we removed the ventilator...We are giving her
medication for her blood pressure and it has come down. She has not experienced
any more seizures since delivery but they have given her medication to try and
remove the possibility of any more. As of now it will just take time. She will
respond on her own when she is ready.” They had reached Samantha’s door as the
nurse slid it open and allowed Wes and Alli to enter. Seeing her lying there
with her eyes closed and the tubes coming from her arms…was almost too much but
he pushed forward. Allison had reached her bed and placed her hand onto Sam’s
arm. Her eyes immediately filled with tears as the spilled over and ran down
her cheeks. The nurse excused herself and allowed them a few minutes alone.

He walked to the bed and bent his head down placing a
light kiss to her lips and whispering into her ear, “Baby I love you…you got to
wake up beautiful. Our little man needs to meet his momma…I need you Sam. Baby
I can’t live without you so you got to open your eyes.” When he rose up he
realized he too was crying. He grazed his thumb across her cheek and down her
neck letting his hand rest onto her shoulder lightly squeezing. After about
five minutes the nurse came back in and explained the visiting hours. They
could come back two at a time and were only allowed ten minute visits. After
that it must be a half hour before another two can come back. The nurse assured
Wes that they would keep him updated of any changes the moment they happened.
He felt slightly better being able to see her but he needed her to wake up.

Now he could see his son…

‘Wes’

He entered the nursery and because Kane was premature he
was hooked to a monitor wrapped around his midsection. He was still able to be
held and fed. Samantha had decided to not breastfeed so they were bottle
feeding him and Wes had arrived just in time because the little man was hungry.
His mom and Rachel had gone back with him. Mitch took Allison home telling her
she needed to eat and get some rest. She needed to take care of herself and Sam
would not want her to risk the health of her and her own baby by draining
herself.

The nurse handed Kane to Wes as he sat in the rocker next
to his mother and sister. Being this close to his son he now realized just how
much he looked like Samantha. Not only had he possessed his mommy’s nose but he
had her eye shape also. It broke his heart that Sam had not yet held their
son…she didn’t even know he was here yet. God she had to wake up because he
needed her they both needed her. He held Kane and fed him as a tear escaped him
and ran down his cheek. “Wesley are you okay?” he turned to see both his mother
and sister looking at him with concern. “I need her to wake up mom…she has too.
We need her…she should be here doing this. I can’t lose her…I feel like my
heart is breaking and I can’t fix it. I feel like somehow I failed her.”
Looking back at his son as his little hand was wrapped around Wes’s finger he
watched as the formula in the bottle slowly got lower and lower. He never
talked he just watched and thought about Samantha and the life they planned to
live together.