Guardian (32 page)

Daniel shrugged. “They left after we said no. This still leaves us with what we’ve had all along; suspicions that something is going to happen, or at least begin, here, and not knowing anything about what it could be.”

There was a long silence as everyone around the table sat and digested this information, or lack thereof, and I amused Naomi by sharing my French fries and worrying about everything myself. I wasn’t directly involved, I couldn’t fight, couldn’t spend my time out scouting and fighting demons, but I wanted to know what was going to happen to my city all the same.

“What-” I began, and when all nine sets of eyes swiveled to focus on me I faltered for a moment, and then began afresh, “what kind of ‘trouble’ are we talking about here? You keep saying the demons feed off of evil events and stuff like that. Does that mean someone is going to attack the city? Is it going to start a war or something?”

Rafael shook his head vehemently. “No. While the number of demons here is abnormally high, it doesn’t begin to justify something like an all out battle. It could be something as small as them following some kind of serial killer, who travels from city to city. Or something bigger and more public, like someone planning to blow up a building. It could happen and you would never even know about it. But to us, to any Fallen, it’s important because we hope to be able to stop it, because that is within our power.”

I tried not to imagine any of the beautiful old buildings in my city, the place I’d lived all my life, going up in smoke and flames. There was a long moment as we all silently reflected on this, and then Damian stood up, rubbing his hands together.

“And now, for some good news,” he said amiably. “You all know I’ve been staying in touch with Eli St. James, the man who saved me. I was visiting him yesterday, and he wants to meet all of you. He’s invited all of us to his house to celebrate Thanksgiving. He throws a gala every year, a sort of benefit ball.”

There was a quiet murmur at this news, and I saw Matthias and Rafael trade a look, though Joseph was the one to speak.

“Are you sure that’s wise, Damian?” he asked hesitantly. “We know little about this man, and what he could do with the information about us.”

“There are certain people who can handle the truth. Who are able to be trusted and won’t panic or misuse such information,” Damian replied with a meaningful look to me, and my cheeks flushed. “We may yet be in Columbus longer, or need someone to keep us updated if we do leave. With money and influence, St. James could be a valuable ally. Besides, it’s been a while since we’ve had a human benefactor.”

Rafael slowly stood. “I don’t see any great issue with it,” he said, and I wondered if he was first to agree because of me. “Especially since St. James has an actual house. We may need a generous friend with winter on the horizon.”

Almost imperceptibly, I saw his eyes flick to Naomi, and I realized that she was unable to resist the changes in weather the way the Fallen did.

Damian was practically beaming. “Good. I have absolute faith that you’ll approve of him, Rafael. He and I have become good friends.” He looked around the table at the others, his gaze finally settling on me. “It’s a black tie affair. Do you have any evening gowns, Lyla?”

I opened my mouth to reply, but Rafael beat me to it with a surprised, “She’s not going.”

“Why not?” Damian and I asked at the same time.

Rafael glared at me. “Because it could be dangerous. I trust Damian’s word on St. James, but you never know if he could be tempted or something could happen. I’d rather he knew nothing of you or your connection to us.”

“But, he already knows about her,” Damian interjected. “He’s actually very anxious to meet Lyla and Rachel, and Naomi, other humans who know about the Fallen.”

I could literally see the wave of fury settle down over Rafael’s face as he heard this news, and if I had been Damian, I would have shrunk back into a corner and said to forget the whole thing. As it was, he stood tall against Rafael and never once flinched.

“How
could
you?” Rafael said in a venomous hiss, leaning over the table toward Damian. “We are trying to keep her
safe
. She already knows too much.”

“But Rafael,” I said, and my voice was small, “I
want
to go. I’m not afraid.”

“You will not be involved in any of this!” Rafael shouted, actually
shouted
.

There was a long moment of stunned silence, and then there came a quiet but very calm voice, “It’s too late.”

We all looked over at Rachel, who slowly stood up and stared Rafael down. “It’s too late to say you don’t want to involve her in all this. There’s no turning back now, Rafael. You couldn’t let her go, and now you must deal with the consequences. It’s too late to keep her away from it all,” she repeated softly.

I had been staring at Rachel, wondering about her,
you couldn’t let her go
comment and what it could mean, when there was a loud
CRASH
noise behind us, and I jumped. I turned just in time to see Rafael pull his fist out of a two foot deep hole he had just punched in the cement wall, and take a running leap off the side of the building. I dashed over to the edge, but only saw a faint flying shape against the Columbus skyline. With a despairing sigh, I plopped back into my seat.

“I’m sorry, Lyla,” Damian said contritely. “I didn’t realize that he would see a simple party as such a threat.”

“He sees driving to school as a threat,” I muttered sourly.

“I’m sorry as well,” Rachel agreed, walking around to place a hand on my shoulder. “But you know he needed to hear it. He’s making the same mistake Matthias made a year ago. Or at least, Rafael sees it as a mistake.”

I looked up to see she was smiling at Matthias, and I felt the usual little pang of envy. “What mistake is that?”

Rachel looked at me in surprise. “Why, falling in love with you, of course,” she said, as though it was as obvious and as simple as that. “Well, with a human.”

I shook my head, embarrassed. I didn’t want to get my hopes up after Rafael’s kiss and the resulting talk in the park. “Rafael doesn’t love me,” I said quickly. “At least, not enough.”

Rachel swooped down and gave me a hug as the other Fallen began to disperse from the table. “Or maybe he just loves you so much, he doesn’t know what to do with all of it,” she whispered, and then whisked Naomi off to get her some real lunch.

I heaved a heavy sigh and stood, jumping yet again when Damian’s voice said, right next to me, “We’ll go shopping this weekend?”

I looked at him quizzically. “For what?” I couldn’t think of a single thing I needed that I didn’t already own.

Damian smiled at me. “An evening dress for Thanksgiving. You
are
coming, aren’t you? I’m sure it will be quite dull without you there.”

I thought of Rafael’s displeasure at the whole idea and wondered if I ought to beg off for his sake. But then I sat up straighter. Rafael couldn’t boss me around. He wouldn’t even lay any claim on me romantically. Why shouldn’t I go? Maybe it would force him into realizing that he should do the very thing that would protect me the most – turn me into a Fallen.

“Yes,” I told Damian, “I’m going. He’ll accept it. Eventually.” I hoped.

Damian grinned again, looking insanely pleased at such a small thing. “Good! I’ll come for you Saturday afternoon, maybe Rachel too, she’ll probably need a dress. St. James has pretty expensive tastes. You’ll need something elegant, longer than what you wore to your Halloween dance.”

“All right,” I agreed, since it seemed unlikely Rafael would voluntarily take me shopping for a dress, or aide in anything to do with this dinner. Though I would have preferred to go with him, even if he was in one of his moods. “I’ll-” but that was when I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and saw that the bell would ring at St. Rose of Lima in just ten minutes. “Oh no,” I groaned, and dashed off down the stairs to the Hummer.

If I had been more daring, I would have sped a little across town to school, but I could barely force myself to go five miles above the speed limit. I arrived at school just as the final bell rang and ran inside so Colton and Grace could find me at my locker. I also shoved books into my backpack since it appeared they would be my only company tonight, Rafael still in his snit. I knew he had only reacted that way out of worry over protecting me, but I still wished he wouldn’t get so worked up over everything and be so dramatic.

“Hey.”

For the third time that day I jumped, and turned around to see Natalie standing there with her arms folded over her chest.

“Hey,” I replied, closing my locker door. I watched as her eyes traveled up and down my body, and with a sudden jolt of anxiety, I realized I hadn’t changed back into my uniform. I was still dressed in street clothes.

“Did you,” Natalie asked disbelievingly, “did you
skip class
?”

“I-I-I-” I stuttered, because I honestly couldn’t think of anything to say.

Natalie shook her head. “I came over to tell you that Matt and I talked to Mom and we all wanted to invite you and Colton and Grace over for Thanksgiving again.”

I thought of last year, the crazy, hectic meal I’d sat through at Natalie’s with her own family. I’d loved every minute of it, the closeness of a family that actually ate meals together, spent time together. And I knew that just now, with the way Natalie was looking at me and Rafael’s fury over the idea of going to Eli St. James’, I should say yes. But I just couldn’t make myself give up spending time both with the Fallen and with Rafael. I didn’t want to miss such an important event.

“Colton and Grace can go,” I said with a sinking feeling in my stomach. “But Rafael invited me to spend the day with him.”

Natalie gave me a long look. “I know you really like Rafael,” she said quietly, “but is one guy really worth sacrificing your whole future, Lyla? School is your first ticket to a better life. And someone who talks you into skipping class probably isn’t a good person to keep around. The Lyla I know would never do anything like that.” She walked away, and I saw Austin join her, their heads held close together as they left the school.

Tears stung my eyelids as I hefted my backpack, reopening my locker and meticulously sorting through it to hide my face from everyone else passing through the halls. I just
wished
I could tell Natalie something. How Rafael could be trusted with anything. How desperately he had always wanted to keep me from missing school, and I had begged him several times to let me skip, not the other way around.

That
he
was an even better ticket out of this life, because I knew without asking that Rafael would pay for me to go to college
anywhere
I wanted. I could release him from his promise of staying until my birthday, and he would still find a way to help me. If I wanted to take advantage of his generosity, I could go to medical school, on a full ride. I could easily attain my dream of being a doctor or a pediatrician. But doing it all alone didn’t seem like much of a dream to me. I wanted Rafael to be there too, to share in all my triumphs and to help him believe in himself and in God as strongly as I did.

Even now, though, I realized I had been foolish to be upset or even mildly annoyed with Rafael for throwing a fit at me going to the Thanksgiving dinner. Hadn’t he included me on the update? Kept me informed? Slowly, he was coming around to including me, emotionally, at least, as part of the flock. Sooner or later he would probably have to accept that there was little choice but to allow me to join them. And above all, I had resolved to be patient and kind, not selfish or quick-tempered, and to prove my love to him in my actions; today, I had done nothing of the kind.

I rested my forehead against my locker and sagged with disappointment.
Lord, forgive me, help me to do as You command. Give me the strength to show my love selflessly as Your commandments say. Let me be what Rafael needs in order to further his faith in You. I know he thinks You’ve turned Your back on the Fallen, but I know You care. Keep Your hand on me, guide me as well as Rafael guards me. Help Natalie to understand the little I can tell her, and forgive me for lying to her.
I crossed myself, and then turned to see Colton and Grace looking at me.

“Are we going to have to go into the church so you can pray some more?” Colton asked, with just a hint of resignation.

I laughed and gathered the two of them close in a hug before heading out of the school. “No,” I reassured Colton, “we’re going home. No church today.”

Colton and Grace both heaved a sigh of relief. “It’s not that I don’t like church,” Colton hastened to assure me. “But I don’t want to sit still anymore.”

“Then you won’t!” I promised, loading them into the car. “Except on the drive home, if you can manage.”

Colton said he guessed he could do that and Grace talked the whole way home about the pilgrims and Indians, further proof that Thanksgiving was just around the corner. I hadn’t even realized it until Damian had mentioned the party. I cruised past the park, just in case, but Rafael wasn’t there. Deep down, I hadn’t really expected him to be. I knew he would want more time. But still, as Colton, Grace, and I bundled up and ran outside to play some tee-ball, I wished Rafael was with us.

I had tried calling him, but he hadn’t picked up. I hadn’t left a message because I wasn’t sure what I would say. I knew now what I would tell him, knew that
I
was the one who should apologize, only I had to do it in person. A call or text simply wouldn’t suffice. And so, Colton, Grace, and I ran amok outside in the chilly November air, our breath steaming, until we were too tired to move any longer. I made them hot chocolate when we went inside, and even had a hot dinner on the table by the time my dad got home from work. He ate and promptly went to the couch and turned on the television without a word to any of us.

My mom arrived home as I finished up the dishes. It was rare for all five us of to be home at once, but of course it didn’t last long. I heated a plate of food for her, and she ate and went to speak to my dad. Five minutes later, they left the house together. Colton and Grace watched them go from the front window behind the couch.