Guardian (10 page)

A
lex fussed
over his shirt and looked himself over in the mirror. It was dark blue, and went well with his hair and eyes. It clung to his frame without being tight, and made it very clear what lay beneath without revealing so much as an inch of skin.

Maybe it was too much. They were only going to dinner. Alex had booked a nice place, but nothing too fancy. He got the sense that Titus preferred good, honest food rather than fussy stuff, and Alex needed somewhere with a good vegetarian selection if he was to order anything more than side dishes and a salad. He could switch to a less showy shirt; the venue would be fine with him wearing something less dressy.

Val wagged her tail. He could see her reflection, and she was looking right at his while she wagged away to herself. She had bounced up onto his bed and now lay there watching him with a big grin on her face, tail flapping with mischief.

“What?” He huffed at her.

Val growled playfully.

“Oh no. No, you stay right there. You’re not putting your fluff on me!” He tweaked at his hair. “There’s too much product in it, right? I look like a carrot. He’s going to freak out. Urgh, I look so…” He waved his hands in exasperation.

Val barked at him.

“You are
no
help whatsoever! Why am I even trying to get dating tips off a dog?”

She rolled onto her back and waved her paws in the air. Her tail swiped upward between her legs like it was self-righting, and continued to wag.

“Fine!” He grabbed his jacket and slipped it on. “No tie! But if he doesn’t like it I’m blaming you.”

H
e sat
at the table and fidgeted with his menu.

He’d arrived far too early. Ty wasn’t here yet. Alex had been shown a secluded booth toward the back, so he kept looking toward the front of the restaurant in case Ty arrived and didn’t see him all the way back here.

It was a Korean place with a mostly-authentic menu. There were a few options for visitors with less adventurous palates—the obligatory burger and fries tucked away on the back page of the menu—but the rest was more traditional fare. It was a good selection. Ty should be able to find something to eat on it.

Alex shifted in his seat and sipped the green tea he’d been given on arrival while he niggled away at his thoughts.

Why was he fretting so much over what Titus might think? Why did he want so desperately to impress the man? Ty was hot as hell, strong as hell, and horny as hell. He
wanted
Alex, and Alex sure as hell wanted him.

So what was the problem?

Alex swirled his tea slowly and watched the leaves at the bottom spiral around in the liquid.

It’s because he’s so damn straight-acting.

He sighed and put the cup down. His brain had screwed him over again, hadn’t it? He’d fallen for the tough guy. The tattooed musclebound straight guy who would make an exception for him. Except all the others went right back to being “straight” after they’d had a piece of him.

He didn’t want to believe Ty would do that. But God damn it if he didn’t fit Alex’s type
exactly
in every other way, and Alex’s type always let him down.

No. Ty’s not like that.

“Hey.”

Alex nearly spilled his tea as the voice appeared out of nowhere. He jerked his head up, startled, then gasped.

Ty stood by the booth in a dark suit that curved around him like it was meant for him. He had a deep red shirt under his jacket, and a black tie.

Alex’s groin stirred at the sight, and his mouth dried up.

Ty smiled sheepishly and gestured to the table. “Mind if I join you?”

“No,” he squeaked. “Please do.”

Ty blushed—
he blushed
—as he eased into the booth. He grunted slightly and placed his palms against the edge of the table. “Mind if I move this your way? It’s a bit tight in here.”

Alex laughed like a nervous teen. Ty was so big he couldn’t quite fit in the booth. The absurdity of it made him giddy. “Sure.”

Ty pushed the table toward him by a couple of inches, then thanked the waitress when his tea arrived. He took a menu and opened it, but his eyes were on Alex. “You look great.”

His body responded before his mouth had a chance to even form words. He warmed right the way through, and his cheeks felt like he’d sat down by a furnace. “You look amazing,” he breathed.

Now it was Ty’s turn to go pink. It started with the tips of his ears, then seeped into his cheeks. “Shut up.”

“Is that a new suit?”

“Shut
up
.” Ty buried himself in his menu.

“It’s sexy.” Alex gave in and grinned, then bit his lip. “Thanks for coming.”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t get to see you.” Ty lowered the menu to the table and gave him a startlingly honest look.

He dipped his head and tentatively offered his hand across the table, only to be surprised when Ty actually took it. His skin tingled at the contact, and the knot in his stomach began to unwind. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I just… I’ve been let down in the past.”

“So’ve I.” Ty’s broad shoulders shifted in a slight shrug. “Doesn’t matter. Look. I know I was a bit of a dick. I wasn’t exactly… sensitive when I asked you if you were gay. But I like you. A lot. Christ, Alex, I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s like you’re in my head all day every day. I wake up and I’m disappointed that you aren’t there.” He hesitated, then squeezed Alex’s fingers. “Is that weird?”

Alex reached for his tea and gulped it down so fast he almost choked on the tea leaves.

Ty groaned. “I knew it. It
is
weird.”

“No!” Alex blurted as he pushed the cup away. “No, it’s… It’s sweet! It’s flattering. Oh my God, Ty, it’s exactly what I do!” He ran his thumb across Ty’s knuckles. “I think about you every day. I have ever since I met you. I was terrified you wouldn’t even like me, and I couldn’t even imagine you’d ever come on a date with me. I don’t…” He drew a breath, then let out a weak laugh. “I might have to pinch myself, because I thought you might not show up and…”

Ty shook his head. “If I say I’m gonna do something, I’ll do it.”

“I’m starting to see that.” Alex smiled softly and dipped his head. “I’m sorry. I’ve got all these bad experiences and I’ve been totally unfair to you.”

“Don’t apologize. We all learn from our past.” Ty pursed his lips a moment, then added, “And some of us learn from the present. Maybe how to be a better person. How not to make assumptions about themselves, let alone other people.”

Alex looked down to their entwined hands. Here was Ty, completely comfortable with touching another man in public. He didn’t care what anyone else thought. He wasn’t afraid his employer would find out. He
was
his employer, and he was big enough that only an idiot would start a fight with him. But beyond those allowances, beyond that leeway Ty possessed, maybe there was something Alex could learn here too.

“Hey there! Are you ready to order?”

He flinched. Almost withdrew his hand. But Ty’s fingers tightened around his own, and Alex switched to a disarming smile as he ordered bibimbap.

The waitress smiled and noted down their requests, then disappeared off to the kitchen, and Alex sighed.

“You’re not used to the PDAs, are you?” Ty murmured.

“Ah…” He laughed briefly. “That obvious, huh?”

“Pretty obvious,” Ty agreed. He watched Alex a moment, then smiled at him. “If I make you uncomfortable, you’ll tell me, okay?”

“It’s not that.” Alex waved his free hand briefly. “It’s… difficult. But if we don’t face the things which are difficult, we don’t grow, do we?”

“True.”

Alex chuckled and shook his head. He’d really just said that to a man who used to disarm bombs for a living, hadn’t he? Here he sat with a man who had bought a new suit just to come on a date with a man after years of firmly believing that he was straight and that man was willing to hold his hand, to be seen with him like this, to challenge his own identity and worldview… and Alex fretted about whether or not his boss would find out that he was gay, or that strangers in a restaurant might see him in physical contact with a man who cared about him enough to change his entire paradigm.

He blinked rapidly.

That was what Ty was doing, wasn’t it? And here Alex sat still convinced that the man would let him down, would lead him on and dump him once he’d had his fun. But nobody else had done any of this for him. None of the straight-acting closeted jock types had wanted to be seen with him. Not a single one of them would have held his hand in a restaurant. Hell, none of them came on a date short of grudgingly taking him to a football game and introducing him as a “buddy” to their similarly macho hetero friends.

He stirred his bibimbap together when it arrived, adding chilli paste to give it some zing. Ty deftly began to eat his bulgogi with his metal chopsticks.

Neither of them withdrew their hands.

They talked. They talked about Alex’s years at law school and Ty’s time in the Army. They laughed about high school pranks and Internet memes alike. And through it all, Alex began to thaw, piece by piece. Every laugh was a chink in his armor. Every moment of eye contact was a crack which connected two of those gaps together. The way Ty’s voice soothed him made the cracks widen.

He was being stripped bare, rendered vulnerable by this man, and at some point along the way he managed not to care anymore.

He felt free.

“Then Garrett says to me, ‘Maybe it’s your winning personality?’” Ty laughed raucously as he finished his latest story, then broke off with a chuckle when his pocket beeped.

Alex laughed. “Maybe he had a point.”

“Yeah, yeah. Trust you to side with him.” Ty pulled out his phone, then smiled apologetically. “Man, I don’t want to go.”

Alex’s heart sank. “Is something wrong?”

“No. No, absolutely not.” Ty gripped his hand. “Phoebe is with Mrs. Rosenberg and her daughter. Kinda half playdate half babysitting. But I want to get home for nine so I can get Phoebe to bed on time.”

“Ohhhh.” Alex laughed. “Oh my God, of course! That’s so adorable!”

It spilled out of him and then there it was, sitting between them like he’d just admitted to watching
Glee
.

“Um, I mean…”

“Shut up.” Ty chuckled and shook his head, his cheeks reddening again as he flagged down the waitress for the check.

“Uh huh…” Alex finally managed to withdraw his fingers, and he pulled out his wallet. He didn’t wait for the check; he’d already done the math, knew how much it had all come to, and he dropped the cash down with a hefty tip, then eased from the booth and offered his hand. “Can I at least escort you to your car, sir?”

“Of course, sir.” Ty took the hand and wriggled out of his seat. “Next time I pay, though.”

“Shh, don’t spoil it.” Alex shifted his grip to loop his arm through Ty’s, and strode with him to the exit, his head held high.

The air outside was cool and fresh. Alex’s car was only a few steps away, and after that… Home. Home to feed Val her supper and sleep alone and in the morning he’d text Ty and see about getting together sometime soon because already just the thought of parting made him ache inside.

“See you tomorrow?” Ty asked.

Alex gasped and gazed up at him. “Yes! I mean, yes? You want to? ’Cause I want to. I’d like to. See you again, I mean. Tomorrow?”

Ty just chuckled and drew him closer. He dipped down and planted his lips against Alex’s.

Whatever may have remained of Alex’s reservations were burned away by the lips on his own. Ty seized control of his mouth with surety and confidence, sucking on Alex’s lower lip before his tongue eased in and took over.

Alex whimpered and pressed against him, surrendering himself in an instant. Someone wolf-whistled and he didn’t care. When the kiss broke, he was left breathless and dizzy, and he had to grip Ty’s arms for support.

“I mean, I assume it went well,” Ty grinned. “And you did promise.”

Alex nodded numbly, a weak grin plastering itself across his face. “You can do that again any time you want.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“That’s not the only think you’re gonna be holding if you keep this up, mister.”

Ty’s eyebrows lifted, then he smirked. “You
dirrrty
.” He placed a lighter kiss against Alex’s lips, then withdrew toward his vehicle. “I’ll text you in the morning.”

“Okay.” Alex waved slightly, then wondered how exactly he was supposed to get to sleep after an evening like this.

T
y drove
home and tried not to think about Alex.

The date had been great. Better than great. But he couldn’t turn up on Mrs. Rosenberg’s doorstep with a raging boner, and every time he thought about Alex’s easy laugh or his salt-sweet lips the thing tried to resurface. He ended up driving around the block three times while reciting the procedure for replacing the engine block on a ’67 Chevy Impala.

By the time he knocked on Mrs. Rosenberg’s door he was calm and collected. Presentable. Respectable. Possibly even appealing, if Mrs. Rosenberg’s gasp when she opened the door was anything to go by.

“Uncle Ty!” Phoebe squealed as she ran out and into his arms.

“Hey, Boo! You have a good time?”

“Yeah!” She turned and waved. “Thank you, Mrs. Rosenberg.” Then she hollered, “Bye, Wanda!”

“Oof!” Ty winced at the volume, then bounced her in his arms. “Thanks, Mrs. Rosenberg.”

“Any time.”

He crossed the hall to his own apartment and unlocked the door, then set Phoebe down once they were inside.

“Why’re you dressed up so smart?”

Ty locked the door and set his keys down, then turned to face his tiny interrogator. “Wow. Let me get all the way indoors first, why don’t you?”

She squinted at him, then plopped down on the couch and swung her feet. “Did you go on a date?”

He reddened immediately, and she cooed with excitement.

“What was she like?”

“Uh.” Ty took a deep breath, then eased out of the brand new jacket. He hung it over the back of a chair and unfastened his tie while he tried to work out how to answer that question.

She was a bright kid. A smart kid. He’d always found honesty to be the best policy with her. Besides, who didn’t remember that first horrible crushing feeling when they realized a parent had lied to them? That nasty first step toward adulthood when a kid began to figure out for themselves that not every adult could be blindly trusted?

He knew damn well what that felt like, didn’t he?
If nothing’s wrong, why is Dad sleeping on the couch?

No. He wasn’t going to lie to her. Not now, not ever.

“He was really nice,” he said as he slid his tie off and folded it over the jacket.

Phoebe gasped and her eyes grew wide. “Was it the man with the dog?”

He laughed softly. “It was. Have you had dinner?”

She nodded quickly. “Mrs. Rosenberg made us mac and cheese.” Before Ty could groan about the carbs, she cut in, “What did you have?”

“Bulgogi beef. And Alex had bibimbap. Korean food,” he explained.

“Ooooh. Will you see him again?”

Ty rolled his eyes and pointed down the hall. “I think it’s time you got ready for bed, young lady.”

“But—”

“Nuh-uh. It’s getting late. Go get ready, then I’ll come read you tonight’s chapter.”

She pouted as she slid off the couch, and stomped away to her room.

All things considered, he figured, that could’ve gone a whole lot worse.

H
e read
a chapter a night for her, and so far they’d gotten through almost the entire series. The paperback in his hands was a doorstep of a book, though, and Ty marveled at the fact that these were supposed to be for kids. Oh, sure, they started off light and fluffy, all full of magic and fun, but this special training school the kids were at turned out to be a dangerous place, and everyone’s lives there were shaped by the choices the adults before them had made long before any of them were born.

Pretty much like real life, then.

Phoebe was besotted with the story. Sometimes she asked him what a certain word meant, or why an event had occurred, but other than that she’d listen every night, rapt. And Ty had to admit he’d gotten invested in this crazy British school with its surprisingly horrific bad guys.

“Uncle Ty,” she said when they reached the end of their latest chapter. And it wasn’t in an excited
One more chapter?
way. She sounded pensive, and her lips were scrunched together.

“Yeah?” He eased the bookmark between the pages and set the book down on her bedside table.

“Why does Ron like Hermione?”

Ty blinked. He’d be the first to admit that wasn’t anywhere near the top of the list of questions he thought she might come out with. “Well, I guess because she’s smart, she’s dedicated, she’s saved his hide a few times…”

She nodded slowly. “Why does Hermione like Ron?”

“Well, I guess because he makes her laugh. He’s always there for her when she needs someone. He makes her feel like a regular kid rather than the nerd the rest of the school sees her as…” He frowned to himself.

“Yes, but I mean—” Phoebe leaned forward, her brows furrowed, “—why don’t Harry and Ron like
each other
?”

Ty blinked at her, then suddenly understood what she meant. “Oh! Well, uh.” He coughed faintly. “Some people like boys, some people like girls. Some people like both, some don’t like either.”

“Do you like both?”

“Okay, I think that’s enough reading for tonight!” He hopped to his feet and grabbed the book, shaking his head.

“Awww!”

“I’m not gonna sit here and play twenty questions.” He grinned down at her and leaned over to tuck her in, then kissed her forehead. “Go to sleep. How ’bout tomorrow I see if Alex wants to come over and play some board games, huh?”

“Yeah! Can Val come?”

“And get her fluff all over our furniture?”

The look Phoebe gave him was almost comical.

“Okay, sure. Fine. I’ll ask him.”

“Awesome!”

Ty chuckled as he let himself out of her room, and turned off the light as he went.

T
y closed
his bedroom door and stripped off. He hung the suit to take to the dry cleaners sometime, and ditched his shirt in the laundry basket, but not before he rescued his cellphone from the pants pocket.

He weighed it in his hand on the way to the bathroom. Would it be too soon to text? Was he even supposed to worry about that kind of thing with a guy? He scraped at the crack on his screen with a thumbnail as he tried to work out what to do.

He could wait until morning to text. Maybe Alex had already gone to bed and a message now would wake him, though the lock screen read 21:49, so he doubted the attorney had already bedded down for the night. And if he texted now about coming over tomorrow that was more legitimate, right? They
had
agreed to see each other tomorrow…

Ty set the phone down by the sink as he brushed his teeth and tried to work out what exactly he would say.
I’m sorry if I made you feel like there was anything wrong in being a nerd.
No. He was pretty sure he hadn’t, and he suspected randomly calling Alex a nerd just before bedtime would go down about as well as if Alex suddenly called him a meathead. Jesus, why was it so hard to just figure out what to say to the guy all of a sudden?

Because I like him.

He rinsed his mouth out and spat down the sink, then stared at himself in the mirror.

The face which gazed back looked different somehow. For a while he couldn’t figure out why, but then it hit him like a freight train.

He looked
happy
.

Yeah. There was that gleam in his eyes. The smile on his lips. The crinkle around the corners of his eyes. All things he had no doubt made brief appearances whenever he and Phoebe played games or read books together, but in private, like this? No. This was new.

That settled it. He dried himself off then grabbed his phone and typed away, huffing at his typos and silently thanking autocorrect.

He dithered a moment, then hit
Send
.

The reply came quickly.

Ty grinned and carried the phone back through to the bedroom.

He fiddled with his phone and debated sending an
ok
, but that felt a bit weird, like teenagers not wanting to be the last to hang up after a three-hour phone call. He’d see Alex soon, and that’d have to be enough.

Still, when he finally drifted off to sleep, the smile hadn’t left him.