Guardian (10 page)

How could standing with the girl you love feel so desperately lonely? She was right in thinking everything was on the line. Not just him, not just his eternity, but her very safety. Fact was, she was still in danger, and a boat ride across the ocean didn’t change that. Breaking one rule meant breaking more. Hadn’t he learned that the hard way? And breaking the rules could only mean one thing: failure.

He’d put her in danger by trying to be too close to her. They had to watch their emotions. If they didn’t, Nikki might pay for the mistake with her life.

He might have been willing to gamble with his eternity—no matter how stupid that was—but he could never gamble with Nikki’s safety, especially now. Her fate could affect … well, the world as they all knew it. He’d never been surer of anything, and in his entire life nothing had ever frightened him more.

When the wind grabbed her hair and thrust it at him, he pulled in her scent and tried to remember his commitment.

“Mace,” she said.

“What?”

“I’m … really scared.”

His hands instinctively found their way to her upper arms. “You’re trembling, Nikki. What’s wrong?” He searched her face. Her eyes were liquid honey, but so haunted in their depths it seemed the very color might drain from them.

“I don’t know.” Her words were small. “I don’t know. I feel … wrong inside. Like something awful is going to happen.” Her gaze darted around the boat but focused on nothing. “And I don’t feel like myself. I can’t sleep at night, but I’m not really tired the next day. My ears are so sensitive to everything, sometimes I just want to clamp my hands over my head so I won’t hear it all.”

He gently rubbed her arms to soothe her. “Has Will been working with you on your ability as a Seer?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe you’re tapping into that power.”

“Maybe. But whenever he instructs me to draw, there’s nothing except this burning urgency to master it. I’ve tried to sketch, but nothing happens. It doesn’t feel the same as when I drew the hell hounds in the woods or the laboratory on fire.”

“What did it feel like then?”

“Electric. Almost living. Like the pencil was alive in my hand. I just connected and the drawing happened.”

He raised a hand to her cheek. “Don’t worry. When you need to see, you will.”

“I hope you’re right. Because if you’re wrong, I’m no good to anyone here.”

“I’m not wrong, Nikki.” He dropped his lips to her forehead and pressed a gentle kiss onto her skin. And that was close to tempting fate. “Come on. Let’s go swimming.”

It was the second time Ocean deemed it safe enough to stop the boat for them.

Nikki could barely believe the sight around her—Halflings flying, swooping, then crashing into the water. Were they always such daredevils? Probably. Even the girls flew to the crest of the mast and swan-dived into the ocean. She reached a conclusion: Halflings were fearless.

But Nikki couldn’t seem to concentrate, no matter the glorious display. All day long she’d felt as though tiny fingernails were clawing her insides. As the day dragged on, the sensation increased until she was forced to climb out of the water and remain on deck, watching the winged creatures float around her, and occasionally rubbing her hands over the goose bumps on her bare arms.

Raven’s dark gray wings blocked the sun and created a V-formation shadow on the deck. She’d been aware of his gaze going to her whenever he performed some death-defying feat. The other boys mimicked him—excluding Mace—each one trying to outdo the last.

He was dripping wet when he stepped onto the deck beside her. Tipping one wing, he shook water onto her skin. “You look hot,” he said with a mischievous grin.

She caught the double meaning. “Thanks for cooling me off.”

“Anytime.” He flipped his hair from his face, but strands of it clung to his wet cheeks. “Swim with me,” he said.

She shook her head. “No, Raven. I just want to sit out here on the deck for a while.”

He tipped his head to the sun for a moment. “Come on. I want to show you something.”

She pinned him with her eyes.

“I’m serious. You’re gonna love this.” His dark blue eyes glistened and a tiny dimple in one cheek became visible. “Listen.”

At first, she only heard the sounds of the others: wings fluttering, laughter, the boys taunting each other. Beyond that, she could hear water and wind, and the gentle hum of the faith ball. Then … Yes, there was another sound. High-pitched, echoing. “What is it?”

He reached for her hand.

She recognized the sound, but from where? “What is it, Raven?”

“Come on, I’ll show you, but you have to be quiet. If the others hear, they’ll scare them off.”

She knew better, but she reluctantly slid her hand into Raven’s.

He led her to the opposite side of the boat and pointed down, where a group of dolphin swam just below them. Nikki sucked in a breath when one jumped out of the water and landed with a splash.

Raven wrapped his arms around her waist. “Hang on.”

Before she could react, his wings snapped open, and they were hovering just above the water line, feet dangling in each rising wave. “Here,” he said, reaching into a pouch fastened to his waist. “You want to feed them?”

She nodded, but couldn’t exactly speak as two dolphin vied for her attention once they saw the small fish. Raven kept a tight grip on her waist. She wound an arm around his neck and maneuvered just enough to feel comfortable letting go with the other arm, then held the fish out. A dolphin jumped, and she dropped the bait into his waiting mouth. As it fell back into the waves she let out a quick breath that actually had a tiny squeal hidden in it.

“Pretty cool, huh?”

Her head bobbed and she looked at him. She immediately regretted the eye contact. Raven’s midnight gaze, aflame with her excitement, made her feel flush. He was smiling a most unRaven-like kind of smile. Genuine, happy. Free.

She swallowed.

His hands flattened against her back.

“How’d you know they were here?” she asked, attempting to lessen the closeness, the intimacy.

But being locked together, faces only inches apart, made that impossible. “They’ve been following us. I’ve been hoping to get this close for a few days, in fact.”

Nikki smiled. “Will they stay with us the whole trip?”

“No,” he said, and something painful entered the depths of his gaze. “Eventually they’ll go back where they came from and we’ll never see them again.”

She realized her heart was pounding. Not just pounding, hammering, and she knew he wasn’t talking about dolphin anymore. And without as much as a warning, Nikki was sad. Because the Halflings had become such a part of her life, and one day she’d return home. The idea of never seeing them again … well, it just seemed impossible. Her arms tightened around Raven’s neck. It was an attempt, though a useless one, to hold on to what she was sure to lose.

“Sort of makes you want to make the moment count, doesn’t it?” His eyes searched hers. “It’s different when you know you only have a short time.”

Why, why did he have to do this? Did he want to destroy her completely? It wouldn’t be any easier for him and Mace to walk away than it would be for her. But eventually time would rip them apart; of that, she was sure.

Neither she nor Raven had broken their gaze, and her pulse began to skitter and her throat constrict. She knew how Raven felt about her, or at least how he believed he felt. “You said you’d give me time.”

His mouth twitched into a smile, but the sadness lingered in his eyes. “You? I wasn’t talking about you, Nikki. We were talking about the dolphins.”

When he pumped his wings, she could feel the agitation— and the truth. But he tried to hide it, something she appreciated greatly. She was barely sorting through her feelings for Mace; she couldn’t begin to sort through the twisted emotions she had for Raven.

“You want to pet one?”

Without hesitation she said, “Yes!”

He helped her readjust so she was safely against him, then gave her another fish. “Here, stand on my feet and let go of my neck.”

She obeyed, and with a gentle wave of his wings she leaned out away from him.

“I’ve got you, so just relax.” His hands were tight around her, fingers against her hipbones. “Hold the fish with one hand, but don’t drop it. When the dolphin comes up, raise the fish and reach to his head with your free hand.” Raven lowered them a little deeper into the water.

“Okay,” she said on an exhale. Within a few seconds, a dolphin came up out of the blue and hovered face-to-face with her. First shock, then awe overcame her, until she remembered her instructions. Slowly, she raised the bait and reached to stroke the dolphin’s smooth skin. Finally, she dropped the fish in the dolphin’s mouth, and it made some clicking sounds then disappeared into the water. “Wow,” she said.

A moment later, her body was resting against Raven’s. She hadn’t even noticed until she felt the muscles of his chest moving in tandem with his wings. For a moment it seemed like they were right back in the woods with the dead hell hound they’d fought, and Raven was her shelter again. Her head rested on his collarbone.

“I lied to you, Nikki.” With his lips against her ear, there was barely any need for a voice.

Her eyes slammed shut. She didn’t need to hear that tone, that low, honest one that he reserved for her.

“I lied to you about your painting.”

The broken pot. The proof she and Raven were so much alike, and the representation of the one thing that Mace could never understand.

“Your painting doesn’t represent life draining from a broken pot. It represents hope. Even something broken can be mended.” He nuzzled deeper into her hair. “Even something broken can have the promise of a future.”

She struggled to answer. To say something. But what? Raven had seen through all her great defenses, all her carefully constructed masks. Raven knew who she really was. And wanted her anyway.

Mace, in contrast, saw her through rose-colored glasses, and she could never begin to live up to his expectations.

Nikki opened her eyes. Around them rolling waves crested and fell. It would be a mistake to look at Raven, but she tilted her head, eyes trailing up until she found him.

She saw real love reflected in the blue of his gaze. “I know you’re scared about what’s on the horizon. But I’ll be here for you.”

It was an oath. A promise. And it broke her heart because she couldn’t promise to be with him. “Raven, I—”

But he didn’t give her a chance to answer. Raven closed his mouth over hers in a gentle, sweeping kiss, his lips soft but hungry. His mouth lingered for only a second before he tilted back and studied her, searching for something she didn’t think she could give. Nikki was surprised to realize her hand had slipped up to rest against his throat. With her elbow bent, her fingers fluttered against the ends of his hair. Why can’t my body obey my mind around him?

Raven dropped another kiss on the tip of her nose. “Don’t worry. I’ll still give you time. But I’ll also occasionally remind you.”

“Remind me?” she echoed.

“Yeah, remind you that with me, you don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not. You’re free. And the smell of freedom is good on you.”

A sound came from the edge of the boat, and Nikki looked up. Several sets of Halfling eyes were on her and Raven. She squirmed to move away from him, but it was too late. Mace turned from the railing and disappeared.

“Dolphin,” Glimmer said.

A second later, Nikki heard a splash as the Halflings dropped into the water.

The confines of the cabin had become too much, forcing Nikki to grab her blanket and leave the sleeping Halfling girls for fresh air on the deck. Four a.m. and wide awake. Great. They’d reach their destination in one more day, and still she couldn’t feel the faith ball.

She opened the door and wind blasted her, disrespecting her personal space. It pressed against her sweatpants and T-shirt and almost ripped the blanket from her shoulders.

Nikki offered a faint wave to Sky, who stood at the helm. He waved back but didn’t say anything, so she meandered toward the front of the ship.

Raven was standing on the bow tossing the faith ball into the air, catching it, then tossing it again.