Guided Love (Prick #1) (23 page)

“You can't, Camaron, you can't give me what I want and I can't expect you to.”

“I will. I'll prove it. If it's the only way to keep you. I’ll do it.”

I want to correct him again, I want to tell him there was no way to fix us, that there was too much hurt, that things were going to always be different. I couldn't get anything out because when I started to speak Camaron’s arms went from my shoulders to my cheeks and his mouth is on mine. He is kissing me ever so gently. This kiss is nothing like the one we had back when we were children. He pulls back and looks at me; I slowly open my eyes to find his sparkling.

“Is this what you want?”

He lowers his mouth to mine again and I willingly open my mouth yet again. The taste of beer is lingering on his tongue and I suck it off like I am a dehydrated animal. I can’t get enough of him. Our tongues are battling with one another; Camaron is definitely a dominant in the bedroom. He is in complete and utter control. His hands roam up and down my sides and make their way to my breasts. I can feel his cock pressed up against me. My panties are soaked. He breaks the kiss and looking down, he starts to unbutton my top. He pushes it off my shoulders and takes in the sight. I am so uncomfortable right now, he is use to Barbies, stick figures, size zeros for crying out loud. I am standing before him with my head down, my red lace bra and my curvy size 14. I can’t look up, it’s not like he is making me either.

He is in a rush; he unbuttons my jeans and with command in his voice he says, “Step out of these.”

I do as instructed and step out of my jeans. He does the same, his pants and briefs are gone and I slowly look up and take him in. My heart drops when I see that his cock is completely soft. He lost it, he took my clothes off and then lost it. I look down towards the floor again because I don't want him to see the sadness and tears in my eyes.

“You want me?”

Without looking up, I nod my head.

“Say it out loud. Tell me you want me.”

“I want you, I have always wanted you.”

“Get on your knees and get me hard.”

I am shocked with what he just said. Seriously? I kneel and look up at him but his eyes are looking at the ceiling.

“If you want me wrap your mouth around my cock, make me hard so I can fuck you, baby.”

I grab his cock and work my tongue from the base to the tip. I go for a second trip when I hear him say, “No time for that, open up and suck me hard.”

I open my mouth and take him in. I hollow my cheeks and start to suck him hard. I always thought I was an expert at blow jobs as Gabby made me watch a tutorial back in college, but I am sucking as much as I can and nothing is happening. His cock is still limp. Camaron grabs my hair and twirls it around his hand, he starts to fuck my mouth and he is getting hard. The piercing is hitting the back of my throat and I am starting to gag. Tears are rolling down my cheeks, but he isn’t letting up.

“Yes, oh fuck yes, you like it like this don’t you? You like the taste of my cock, baby? You like when I fuck your mouth?” I start to moan and he shudders. I look up and he is still staring at the ceiling, I continue to hum and I taste the precum that has seeped out. He pulls his cock from my mouth.

“Get on the bed.”

I am so nervous,
I am finally going to have him. I am finally going to feel him, he is going to love me and we are going to make love.

I crawl up on my bed and turn on my side and look at him. He is looking down at me and walks toward the end of the bed, he grabs my ankles and pulls me down. My legs are dangling from the bed.

“Turn on your stomach.” I turn over and he lowers my panties to my ankles. He unhooks my bra and lets it fall down my arms. He is caressing my back and whispers in my ear “Are you ready for this?”

“Yes, Cam, I am so ready; I am ready for you.”

He has his cock pressed up against my entrance. He brings it through my lips, spreading my juices all around. With no words spoken he pushes in. I make a hiss sound as it’s been a long time since I actually had anything besides my B.O.B and Camaron's girth is a lot more than my bullet. He is riding into me hitting my g-spot and it feels incredible. He grabs my hair and brings my head back. I can see his eyes are closed and he looks like he is a state of concentration. He keeps pulling like a horse reign and it now is becoming uncomfortable. I bring on of my hands up and grab his so he lets go of my hair.

“Oh God, Camaron, right there, right there it feels so good.”

He is now grabbing at my breasts and twisting my nipples, which is starting to send me over the edge.

“Camaron, dear God, please don't stop”

“Shh . . . no words, just feel me”

I start to bite my lip as I am about to come hard, when the fullness is suddenly gone and I am empty. Camaron cums on my back. I feel warm spurts of cum dripping all down my back; Camaron then must have grabbed a shirt because he is wiping it off. He is out of breath and lies down on my bed, facing the wall. He has his arm covering his eyes as he is trying to catch his breathe. I lie down next to him and pull up a cover so that I can hide myself. It’s quiet and I am a little disappointed that I really didn't get any pleasure at all, but I did get to satisfy him. I turn on my side with my back towards him and I hear him starting to snore lightly.

“I love you, Camaron.”

Oh my, I just said it out loud. I just told my friend that I love him.

“I love you too, Roni,” and with that he is out.

I lay there solid as a stone. I am shocked that I don't think I am blinking. My eyes are full of tears and my stomach is full of pain. He just said
I love you, Roni
. I told him I love him and he replied,
I love you, Roni
. I am laying here and I can feel him lying next to me.

I’ll never compare, I’ll never be enough for him. I can't believe that this just happened. I stood in front of Camaron and he was disgusted. I disgusted him; he couldn't look at me and he had his eyes closed or focused on the ceiling. Why would he do this? He thought that this would fix things between us, but all this did was break my soul. I am empty. Tears are silently streaming down my face and I feel so empty.

I am a joke. I was so repulsive to him that he went soft. I am silently sobbing and I feel him stir. I cover my mouth so I don't make a sound. I wait another ten minutes, just so I know that he is truly asleep, before I walk to my closet and grab my suitcase. I quietly open every drawer and empty it into the two suitcases that I have. I have to leave; I have to go and find myself. I have to find my strength. I have hit rock bottom and I can't depend on anyone to help me. I am alone. I grab my phone and pillow, as well as my laptop, and make my way to the kitchen. I find a piece of paper and write a few words down and hang it to the fridge, as I know that he will find it there.

Dear Camaron,

Let me begin with my apology. I am sorry that I have made your life more complicated.

I am sorry that I came here with a different expectation than you had. I have been in love with you for the past 15 years. You have always been it for me. I have loved you with my soul. I am sorry that I am not good enough for you. I am very sorry that I made you disgusted with who I am and especially for how I look. I realized tonight that I have been living in a bubble. I have been living with the illusion that when you thought of yourself, ten years from now, I would be the one sitting beside you. I really believed in our plan, in our dream, and all I ever wanted was to make you happy. I am sorry that I wasn’t enough for you.

Camaron, I really do wish you find your happiness. I really want that for you. You deserve that.

If you could please give my stuff to Carrie I won't need it.

Take care of yourself Camaron.

Sam

I am grabbing some grub out of the refrigerator when I hear a light knock on my door. It must be Samantha as I tried to message her earlier this afternoon but received no response. I called the hotel to be connected to her room but the lovely front desk clerk, with the stick up her ass, informed me that she had already checked out. I grab an apple and head to the door when I hear the second light tap. I open the door to find Samantha standing in front of my door with two suitcases. She looks up, her eyes never reach mine. She has big, red puffy eyes showing that she’s been crying, yet she is standing in front of me plastering on the fakest smile I have ever seen.

“Samantha, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, Axel, everything is okay. I just wanted to thank you for the job for the last few months. Also, thank you for helping me with the hotel and always being there for me. I really do appreciate you.” Her eyes are down, glued to the ground and she is fiddling with her zipper of her jacket.

“Samantha, come on inside.”

“No, thank you, I really must be leaving.”

She bends down, grabs her suitcases, and heads down the stairs.

I grab my coat and take off behind her. She is standing on the stoop looking defeated.

“Samantha, where are you going?”

I hear her hiccup and notice that she is crying.

“Samantha, what’s wrong? Please where are you going?”

She takes a deep breath and she is trying to control her emotions. I see that she is trying to shut them off.

“I really don't know, Axel. All I know is that I have to go. I can't stay here. I’m lost, Axel. I know that I sound like a child but I have never felt so empty and alone before. I am weak and I am drowning. I am never going to be enough. I am not enough for him.”

She turns her head, tears are streaming down her face.

“I repulsed him, Axel, I actually repulsed him.”

A loud sob escapes her mouth and she starts to tremble. I pull her into my arms as she continues to sob into my chest. I don't know what to say, I don’t know how to fix this. I start to lead her to my car and she stops suddenly.

“Where are we going?”

“I am taking you to the only place I know. The place that helped me find my strength, to find myself. Come on, beautiful.”

“Axel, please don’t call me beautiful. I am not and never will be beautiful.”

With that being said, she opens my car door and gets in. I am about to close her door for her when I make sure she is looking at me. I want to see her eyes, I want her to see the truth in mine when I say this.

“Samantha, you are beautiful. No matter what you think, no matter what you say you, Samantha Jacobs, are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on.”

I don’t allow her to talk. I close the door, put the suitcases in the back, and make my way to the driver’s side. The drive is quiet because, right now, she doesn't need me asking questions. I do know that when I get back to the building Camaron's ass, yeah, I’m gonna kick it.

We pull into Ma's driveway, it’s already after 10, and I am surprised when the porch light goes on. I approach the door and see Ma standing in the doorway with a baseball bat.

“Axel, dear, what is wrong? Why didn’t you call and let me know you were coming?”

I kiss her cheek and explain. “I am so sorry, Ma, I forgot my phone, I left in kind of a hurry.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, Ma; it’s not me. I’m good, but I do need your help.”

She looks past me and sees Samantha in the car.

“Samantha is broken, Ma, and I don't know what to do. I have never seen her this sad before and I brought her to the only place I could think of.”

“Go get that young lady out of the car, Axel. I will get the tea ready.”

I walk over to the car and open the door.

“Come on, Samantha.”

“I am not staying at Ellie's, I don't want to be a burden; I can just go to a motel, Axel. Please.”

“Not gonna happen, she already saw you so you better get in there before you make her walk out here. If she does that, you will never hear the end of it. Believe me.”

She slowly nods and gets out of the car. With her head down, she walks behind me towards the door. I motion for her to go first and follow behind, shutting the door and placing the suitcases next to the green sofa.

“Come on, Ma is in the kitchen. Everything will be okay, do you hear me, Samantha? Everything is going to work out the way it should.”

We walk into the kitchen and I am attacked with the delicious smell of Ma's spaghetti sauce. “Oh, Ma, that smells great.”

“Yes, dear, it does; thank you for bringing Sam over, you can go now.”

“Are you being serious right now?”

I reach for the microwave as it now is beeping. Ma swats my hand and I hear a very quiet laugh coming from Samantha, it may not have been very loud but I heard it. I look over and she has a faint smile looking at me and Ma.

“I am serious, young man; thank you, drive safe on the way home. You are leaving her here in good hands and we have a ton to talk about, scoot. Go on now, scoot.”

I bend down, kiss her cheek, and give her a hug. I walk over to Samantha who is now sitting on one of the stools and she puts her head down and has her eyes set on the place mat.