Gump & Co. (2 page)

‘Who you say you are again?’ the guard asts when I shown him Snake’s napkin. He is lookin me up an down pretty suspiciously.

‘Forrest Gump. I used to play ball with Snake.’

‘Yeah, I’ll bet,’ he says. ‘That’s what they all say.’

‘I did, though.’

‘Well, wait a minute, then.’ He looked at me kind of disgusted like an went off through a door. Few minutes later he comes back, shakin his head.

‘All right, Mr Gump. Follow me.’ An he takes me back to the locker room.

Now I have seen some big fellers in my time. I remember them University of Nebraska players, an
they
was big. But all these fellers, they is not big – they is
huge
! In case I ain’t tole you yet, I am six-six an weigh about two hundrit forty – but these guys – they look about seven feet an three or four hundrit pounds apiece! One feller, dressed kind of official, comes up an says to me, ‘You lookin for somebody here, old-timer?’

‘Yeah,’ I says. ‘Snake.’

‘Well, he ain’t here today. Coach made him go to the doctor on account of he sprained his hand hittin some idiot on the head in a bar.’

‘I know,’ I says.

‘Well, anything else I can do for you?’

‘I dunno,’ I tole him. ‘Snake says for me to come by here an see if y’all want me to play ball for you.’

‘Play ball? For us?’ He got kind of a funny little squint in his eye.

‘Uh huh. See Snake an I was on the same team back at Alabama. He tole me last night to . . .’

‘Wait a minute,’ the feller says. ‘Your name ain’t Forrest Gump, by any chance, is it?’

‘Yup, sure is.’

‘Yeah, yeah,’ he says. ‘I heard about you, Gump. Snake says you run like a bat out of hell.’

‘Dunno about that anymore. I ain’t run in a while.’

‘Well, I tell you what, Gump, Snake asked me to give you a tryout. Why don’t you come in here and let’s get you suited up – By the way, my name’s Coach Hurley. I coach wide receivers.’

He took me back to the uniform room, an they found some clothes an shit for me. Lord it was different from back at the University. All them clothes have changed now. They got twice as many pads an pieces of rubber an stuff, so’s when you get all suited up, you look like a Mars-man or somethin, an when you stand up, you feel like you gonna tump over. When I finally get dressed, everbody else is already out on the field doin they exercises an shit. Coach Hurley motion me over to his group, which is runnin pass patterns, an say for me to get in line. I remembered this part from my playin days – just run out about ten yards an turn around an they thow you the ball. When my turn comes, I run out an turn around an the ball hits me square in the face, an it suprised me so much I tripped an fell on the ground. Coach Hurley shake his head, an I ran on back to the end of the line. Four or five times later, I ain’t caught a ball yet an all the other guys be kind of avoidin me. Like I needed a bath or somethin.

After awhile, Coach begun hollerin an shoutin, an everbody gone on into the scrimmage. They was divided up into two teams an after a few plays, Coach Hurley motion me over to him.

‘All right, Gump,’ he says. ‘I don’t know why I am doin this, but you go on in there at wide receiver
and see if you can catch a ball, so Snake, whenever he gets here, is not going to be a laughingstock – or, for that matter, me either.’

I run into the huddle an tell them I am there. The quarterback looks at me like I’m nuts, but says ‘Okay, eight-oh-three corner post – on two – Gump, you hit it straight for about twenty yards, look out once then look back in.’ An everbody breaks an gets into their position. I don’t even know where my position is, so I go on out to where I think it is, an the quarterback, he sees me an motions me in closer. He counts an the ball is snapped, an I run out what I figger is twenty yards, do a little jig, an then look back, an sure enough the ball be headed right for me. Fore I know it, it is there, right in my hands, an I grapped it an begun to run hard as I could. Damn if I ain’t gone twenty more yards when two big ole guys slam into me an knock me on the ground.

Then all hell broke loose.

‘What in hell was
that
!’ one of the guys shouts.

‘Hey – that ain’t right. What the hell’s he doin!’ another one says.

Two or three more come up an begun hollerin an cussin an wavin their arms at Coach Hurley. I got up an run on back to the huddle.

‘What’s wrong with them guys?’ I asked the quarterback.

‘Hell, Gump, them guys are so dumb they don’t know what to do when they see somethin they ain’t seen before. They were expectin you to do what I said – go out twenty, jig, and then corner post. You did half of that – and even that was backwards. It ain’t in the playbook. Lucky I spotted you. But that was a nice catch, anyway.’

Well, rest of the afternoon I caught five or six more passes, an everbody ceptin the defense was happy. Ole Snake had come back from the doctor by then an was
standin on the sidelines, grinnin an jumpin up and down.

‘Forrest,’ he says, when the scrimmage is finally over, ‘we is going to have us a
time
next Sunday afternoon against them New York Giants! It is a lucky thing that I went to your strip joint that night!’

But I am wondering if this is so.

Anyhow, I practiced the whole rest of that week, an by Sunday, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Snake had got his hand out of the splint an was first string quarterback again an was playin his heart out during the first two quarters, so’s when we went into the locker room we was only behind 22 to 0.

‘Okay, Gump,’ Coach Hurley said. ‘Now we gonna show em somethin. I think we have lulled them New York Giants into a false sense of security now. They gonna be lookin for a easy ride. You will not give it to them.’ Then he an some other coaches say a bunch of other bullshit an we gone on back out to the stadium.

First play, somebody on our side fumbles the kickoff an we are back on our own one yard line. Just like Coach Hurley say, we have lulled them Giants into a false sense of security. Coach Hurley pat me on the butt an I went into the game. The crowd all of a sudden got sort of quiet, an then a kind of low mumbling begun – I guess because they ain’t had time to put my name into the program.

Snake, he look at me with eyes flashin an say, ‘Okay, Forrest, now’s the time. Just do it.’ He called the play, an I went out toward the sidelines. On the snap, I hauled ass downfield an turn around, an the ball ain’t there. Snake is being chased around in the backfield by five or six Giants men, back an forth, back an forth in our own end zone – he must of gained a hundred yards, but it was the wrong way.

‘Sorry about that,’ he says, when we get back into the huddle. He reached down in his britches an pulled out a little plastic flask an took a long slug from it.

‘What is that?’ I ast.

‘A hundrit percent pure orange juice, you fool,’ Snake says. ‘You don’t think I’d be runnin around out drinkin whisky at my age, do you?’

Well, they say some things never change, but they also say wonders never cease, an I am glad ole Snake is doin the right thing.

Well, Snake calls the same play to me, an I run out again. By now the crowd is booin us an throwin paper cups an programs an half-eaten hotdogs onto the field. This time, I turn aroun an got hit in the face by a big half-rotten tomato that somebody in the stands had brought along to indicate their displeasure, I guess. As you can imagine, it thowed me off just a little, an I put my hands up toward my face, an lo an behole, Snake’s pass catches me right there – so hard it knocked me down, but we is at least out of the hole.

Now it is first and ten on our twenty, an Snake call the same play again. I am trying to wipe the tomato off my face when Snake says, ‘You sort of got to watch out for them folks thowin things from the stands. They don’t mean nothin by it. It’s just their way down here.’

I am wishin they would find another ‘way’.

Anyhow, out I go, an this time before I line up I hear all this real vulgar cussin an name callin directed toward me, an I look across the line an I’ll be damned if there ain’t ole Curtis, the linebacker from my Alabama days, wearing the uniform of a New York Giant!

Now, Curtis had been my ole roommate at the University for a while, at least till he thowed the outboard motor out of the athletic dorm winder onto a police car, which got him into some trouble. An later I gave him a job at the srimp company at Bayou La Batre.
Long as I had known him, Curtis did not say nothin without startin it with about ten sentences of profanity, an so it was sometimes hard to figger out just what he wanted – especially when you only have about five seconds before the play starts, which was now the case. I gave him a little wave, an this seemed to surprise him so, he looked over at somebody else on his team, an that’s when our play went off. I was past Curtis like a shot, even though he tried to trip me with his feet, an headed downfield, an Snake’s ball was right there. I didn’t even lose a step – went right on into the end zone. Touchdown!

Everbody was jumpin all over me an huggin an all that, an when I was walkin off Curtis come up an say to me, ‘Nice catch, asshole,’ which was about as high a compliment as Curtis ever gave. Bout that time, somebody thowed a tomato an hit
him
with it, square in the face. It was the first time I ever saw Curtis speechless, an I felt sort of sorry for him. ‘Hey,’ I says, ‘they don’t mean nothin by that, Curtis. It’s just their way down here in New Orleans. Why, they even thow stuff at people off their Mardi Gras floats.’ But Curtis wadn’t havin none of that, an so he took out toward the stands yellin an cussin an givin everbody the finger. Good ole Curtis.

Well, it was a interestin afternoon. By fourth quarter we was ahead 28 to 22, an I iced the game by makin a forty-yard catch that was thowed by the second-string quarterback who had come in for Snake, who was on the sidelines gettin his leg stitched up after a Giant bit a chunk out of it. All during the last part of the game the fans be chantin, ‘Gump! Gump! Gump!’ an when it was over, about a hundrit photographers an newspaper reporters come up an mobbed me on the field, wantin to know who I was.

After that, my life done definitely changed. For that first game against the Giants, the Saints people gave
me a check for ten thousan dollars. Next week, we done played the Chicago Bears, an I caught three more touchdown passes. The Saints people figgered out a way to pay me, they says, on ‘an incentive basis,’ which was that they would give me one thousan dollars for ever pass I catch, an a ten-thousan-dollar bonus for each touchdown I score. Well, after four more games I got nearly sixty thousan dollars in the bank an we is now 6 an 8 an movin up in the conference standins. The week before the next game, which is against the Detroit Lions, I sent Jenny Curran a check for thirty thousan dollars for little Forrest. After we whup the Detroit Lions an then the Redskins, Colts, Patriots, 49ers, and Jets, in that order, I done sent her another thirty thousan dollars, an I am figgerin that by the playoffs I will be on easy street for sure.

But it was not that way at all.

We done won the conference championship for our division an next have got to play the Dallas Cowboys on their home turf. Everthin is lookin up pretty good. Our men are all very confident an be slappin each other on they asses with towels in the locker room. Ole Snake, he even stopped drinkin, and was in the prime of health.

One day one of the fellers come up to me an says, ‘Look here, Gump, you need to get yourself an agent.’

‘A what?’ I ast.

‘Agent, you dummy. Somebody to represent you and get you all the money you ever wanted. You ain’t gettin paid enough around here. None of us are. But at least we got agents to deal with them bastids up at the organization. Why, you ought to be makin three times as much as you are now.’

So I took his advice an got me an agent. Mister Butterfield was his name.

First thing Mister Butterfield does is go an start an argument with the people at the Saints organization.
Pretty soon I get called in an everbody is mad at me.

‘Gump,’ they says, ‘you has already signed a contract for one thousand dollars a pass and ten thousand dollars a touchdown for this season. Now you want to go back on it. What the hell is this!’

‘I dunno,’ I said. ‘I just got this agent to . . .’

‘Butterfield! Agent my ass! That man is a crook. Don’t you know that?’

When I said I didn’t, they tole me that Mister Butterfield had threatened to hold me out of the playoff game if they didn’t give me triple what they were now.

‘Let me tell you this, Gump,’ the owner says, ‘if you miss just
one
game because of this ridiculous attempt at highway robbery, I will not only kick you off the team personally, but I will see to it you don’t never get another job playing football anyplace – at least for money. You understand that?’

I said I did an went on out to practice.

That week I finally quit my job sweepin up at Wanda’s strip joint. The hours was kind of gettin to me. Wanda said she understood, an anyway, she said she was gonna fire me anyhow account of it wadn’t ‘dignified’ for me to be playin football for the Saints an be her janitor at the same time. Besides, she said, ‘Them people ain’t comin in here to look at
me
anymore, they is comin to look at
you
, you big oaf!’

Well, the day before we was fixin to leave for the Dallas game, I gone to the post office an there is a letter there from Mobile, Alabama. It is from Jenny’s mama. Now, I always get kind of excited when I hear from Jenny or anybody even connected with her, but this time, I dunno, somethin felt kind of funny. Inside the envelope was another letter, not even opened. It was the one I had sent Jenny with the last check for thirty thousan dollars. I begun to read what Mrs
Curran was tryin to tell me, but even before I finished, I wished I was dead.

‘Dear Forrest,’ she said. ‘I don’t know how to tell you this. But Jenny got very sick about a month ago, and her husband, Donald, did, too. He died last week. And the next day, Jenny did, too.’

There was a bunch of other stuff she said, also, but I don’t remember much of it. I kept lookin at them first lines, an my hands started tremblin an my heart begun to beat so hard I thought I was gonna faint. It was not true! It couldn’t be. Not Jenny. I mean, I had knowed her all these years, ever since we was in grade school, an I had loved her too – only person besides my mama I’d ever really loved. An I just stood there while big ole tears run down onto the letter an blot out the ink except for the last few lines, which said, ‘I have little Forrest here with me, and he can stay as long as I can care for him, but I’m not too well myself, Forrest, and if you can find the time between your football games to come and see us, I think we’d better have a talk.’