Hackers on Steroids (13 page)

I myself especially enjoyed posting on it a screencap of a message I had received from ‘Dale’ just three days before his arrest in which he arrogantly declared that the noose which I told him was around his neck wasn’t ever going to tighten (he finished the message by talking about a violent sexual fantasy he said he was having about a 12-year-old boy). I had received information from the troll Josh that ‘Dale’ was an old school friend of the real Dale Angerer’s and I had messaged troll Dale with it and some other snippets Josh had given me so as to gauge his reaction. The information did later prove itself to be correct and when I received it I contacted a woman from Bundaberg who knew Dale Angerer to give her this information, but in the end it was the police that finally found the troll by tracking his IP address.

Peter Partyvan came onto the page to tell us that Bradley Hampson would get off ‘scot-free’ and was then going to sue us all over the ‘harassment’ we were supposedly inflicting on him. ‘You just made sure he never has to work another day in his life,’ crowed the ever-ludicrous Peter. ‘The ultimate troll retirement package.’ Similar sentiment was expressed by the rest of them, incredulous that their ‘game’ should be interfered with by the authorities in such a manner.

In the end, Bradley Paul Hampson got – along with a lifetime of inescapable infamy - a three-year prison sentence for possessing and distributing ‘child exploitation material,’ and his name also ended up on an online Australian paedophile watch list. The court heard that he had ‘morbid fantasies’ about dead children and police said that they had found in his possession a collection of almost 200 images depicting children being abused and as the victims of sadism. Hampson used to talk with great delight on Facebook about how much he got turned on by the thought of children’s bones breaking as they were being murdered.

‘Wendy Woods,’ one of the female trolls and herself Australian, came onto my ‘RIP Bradley’ page to tell us that she loved Hampson’s work so much that she wished to marry him. She also dared the police to come around to her house to try and arrest her for trolling, bragging that she’d send them packing with their tails between their legs should they dare. In an earlier message sent to another anti-troll she had boasted that she had ‘no respect for the law’ and can do what she wants. She also expressed a wish for one of her victims to take her up for harassment in relation to her trolling so that her solicitor could ‘tear their heads off and shit down their throats.’

Well, the month after Hampson’s arrest the police did indeed come calling at ‘Wendy’s’ house and she reacted by going into a panic and hiding her computer in her bedroom cupboard, causing a police diving team to search the nearby river where she claimed she had thrown it into. Once she broke down in the police station and confessed to the cops there the true location of her computer, ‘Wendy Woods’ - or Jessica Chantelle Cook as she is known to her mother as - was charged with one count of ‘using a carriage service to menace, harass or cause offence.’  The transformation of Cook from loud-mouthed arrogant bully to scared and simpering little girl is further proof that these trolls don’t possess the mental capacity to understand the true realness of all this until it comes knocking loudly on the door with a search warrant in hand.

At that time Wendy Woods was
the
troll sweetheart, on a high since her posting of obscene images of headless corpses and diseased vaginas onto a memorial page for a murdered 22-year-old Australian woman had created media outrage and earned her a great many male admirers amongst the rest of the cultural critics.

‘Got a story in the local news paper [sic] today... They even mentioned my name... Wendy Woods... I was so proud all my hard work has payed [sic] off,’ wrote Cook on her Wendy Woods profile, going on to say that she was keeping the newspaper clipping ‘to show my children when they grow up.’

She also wrote that ‘Being annoying does not = win... causing hurt to greiving [sic] familys [sic] = win’, before again taunting the police to even try and bring her down. ‘I really don’t give a fuck if I’m exposed, I’d be quite happy to go down to the police station for this... I would give em a peace [sic] of my mind,’ grunted Cook.

Ashen-faced and wearing dark glasses she arrived at the Gympie Magistrates Court on August 2
nd
to plead with the court that being ‘depressed and lonely’ and having been bullied in her childhood had somehow magically forced her into preying on the bereaved. She was given a three-month jail sentence but released on a two-year probation order and barred from accessing social networking sites, and I have been told that she is something of a pariah in the community now (still an all, I would have liked a reason to have made some photoshops of her getting bashed by Bea Smith of
Prisoner Cell Block H
fame).

Yeah, it was all fun and games until they started getting their lives ruined over it.

Then it was fecking hilarious.

Cook’s real identity had been known to me even before her arrest, and I had gotten a fake profile onto the friend list of her genuine Facebook account and so was able to see that just before her downfall she had written as her status: ‘My life is perfect now, try to fuck it ill stomp ur face in!!!!,’ which gave me lots of lovely LOL. Her downfall became even more spectacular when a few days after news of her arrest broke I released onto Facebook screencaps that showed that she had been feeding me information about the real identities of some of her fellow trolls, and she quickly turned from the trolls’ favourite cause into their favourite target. What me being on her friend list and so having access to her personal photos had also given me was perhaps some knowledge that the trolls didn’t then themselves possess, which was that far from being the sexy, slim, and leather-clad femme fatale that she online pretended to be, she was, like Sean Duffy, an actual real troll. I can easily imagine this creature with its hunched shoulders and dreadful, inhuman face clubbing wild animals to death and then gruntingly dragging them back to the cave to feast raw on their stinking innards. Jessica Cook is an unholy abomination: she looks exactly how you would imagine a female RIP troll to look.

While a great many of the RIP trolls use female personas to troll with - this to make themselves seem less threatening to potential targets, or to manipulate male targets with - the number of authentic females in their groupings tends to be much smaller. I would estimate that in that one large trolling ring, only about 10% to 15% of them were actually female. Those figures include a sizeable number of what I call ‘the groupies’: bored and needy girls and women who hang out with the ‘bad boys’ online for cheap and nasty trills but don’t RIP troll, so the number of actual female RIP trolls is even smaller again. The presence of such a small number of females among such a large group of horny males leads to all the jealousies and competitiveness and fighting and hilarity that you would expect. When trolls were wanting their own back on other trolls over tangled love affairs they sometimes came to me with dox, and the online sexual shenanigans and heart-breaking and leaking of nude photographs that took place - and I expect still take place (to save me from dying of tedium I have mostly just stopped looking altogether now) - in that great troll soap opera could fill another book. Mad Malcolm Blackman even seems to harbour a genuine, everlasting and unrequited love for ‘Mallory Knox,’ not realising that the troll is a male playing a female (or at least I don’t think that he realises this). It was the messy and brilliantly entertaining end of Darren Burton’s online love affair with an Australian who called herself ‘Missy Nimrod’ that gifted me with his home address and so led to the packages arriving in his Cardiff neighbourhood.

Many times trolls have fallen in love with each other, with most of them falling quite quickly out of it again with sometimes magnificently entertaining results. It was indeed the ending of a love affair between two trolls that sparked off the Great Troll War of 2010, leading eventually to the death of the hundreds-strong trolling ring of that time. The dearth of females in the pack means that when one love affair ends the chances are that an available female troll will be then snapped up by another male, which more often than not leads to another round of jealous handbagging among the members of the Internet’s greatest tragi-clown troupe. Jealously, backstabbing, revenge, and subterfuge are constants in that quasi-secret troll world. Indeed there was one bizarre and amusing episode where rumours were spread - as far as I can ascertain anyway - by one exceptionally weird troll groupie of my involvement in a love affair with her, and I can only guess that my name was used as a repellent to put off Colm Coss as she had at an earlier time when she used to flirt with me confided that she was living in a state of fear after he said that he was going to take a flight across the Atlantic and call at her door such was his love for her. ‘Missy Nimrod’ was another who also claimed that I was in love with her, although I believe that was a forlorn attempt to make Darren Burton jealous. Burton’s response to all of her games was to try and ruin her life. I’m not sure if I come out of all of that as a sex symbol or an anti-sex symbol for troll groupies but it does help illustrate that many of those female followers find themselves in way over their heads, playing online with psychotic obsessives who are prone to taking break-ups of even e-love affairs very badly indeed. What these groupies are after is a safe and distant dalliance with the dark side, just like those women who strike up pen pal relationships with murderers who are on death row; but they’re playing with fire and none of them seem to realise it until comes the inevitable moment when they get burned and begin to run around in a panic trying to douse the flames. The old maxim ‘I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire’ comes to mind here.

A fair number of the female trolls and groupies have tried to play at being sirens with me, attempting to lure me over to them with flashes of their wares so that I could crash on the rocks of the doxed. The only thing is that - unlike the Sirens of mythology - these enchantresses have forgotten to actually, er, enchant before revealing the horror of their true selves. ‘Show me ya face and I’ll bloody show ya my tits,’ purred Missy Nimrod to me on Skype during the period in which she was feuding with Burton and when I was trying to convince her that him e-dumping her was such an unforgivable act that it warranted giving me his home address. I almost told her that I’d show her my face if she didn’t show me her tits, but the talks were at too delicate a stage then for that.

The desperate attempts to dox me by this ‘Internet elite’ as they have oftentimes referred to themselves have been a consistent source of amusement to me down the years. There is an Internet-famous Fox News television report from 2007 that breathlessly talks about ‘hackers on steroids’ in relation to the users of an unnamed website but which is very obviously 4Chan’s /b/ board. The trolls on Facebook, the vast majority of whom are deeply steeped in 4Chan culture, simultaneously mock this tabloidesque description of what they see as being them themselves yet at the same time believe every single word of it. They have taken to heart the idea that they are some special secret elite hacker force which can seek and destroy any target anywhere at any time, and that no one’s personal information is safe from the deadly powers of detection possessed by the Hackers on Steroids (or HOS to give them their proper terrorist acronym).

So let’s have a look at just some of the dark and devious means that these Facebook-based steroid-injecting doxers have employed down the years to try and get my dox or to just simply make me leave them alone:

Ringing up the ITN news network to complain that I was bullying them and demanding of them my name and address.

The Colm Coss master plan to bring me down, approved by trolls as the work of no less than a genius.

At least a dozen of them contacting the police more times than I can even remember to tell them that I was bullying them and demanding that they put me in jail. Three of the worst of them have even convinced wary police officers to warn me off having any contact with them again in the future such was the stress that I was causing the poor little darlings.

The ‘WeAre Legion’ ultimatum.

Ringing up various TV media companies and newspapers and demanding that they investigate me for bullying trolls.

Sending out their best camwhores to try and entice my dox out of me with flashes of their questionable wares.

Threatening me on many occasions that if I didn’t go away and leave them alone that they’d tell Anonymous on me.

When all else failed, demanding of me that I just simply meet up with them in real life and fight them.

So I did find it to be a blessed relief when I realised that the particular faction of the HOS which I was dealing with were the People’s Front of Judea of cyberterrorists. The one of their number most fixated with bringing me down is one I outed in 2010 and who has ever since then lived, breathed, ate, and slept his hilarious obsession with me. He has a myriad of ever-changing identities but is best known to all just simply as ‘Rooney,’ as ‘Robert Rooney’ is his most consistent handle. From near Manchester, his real surname is Dunn and he is in strong competition with the best of them for the most raving mad fruitcake of all. Roon the Loon is in his mid-30s and there are saner people to be found out there in the fields eating grass. Ever since I doxed him he has been on an obsessive mission to get me jailed and has come up with plans so unspeakably stupid that I sometimes have wondered if his real plan to get rid of me isn’t to just make me laugh myself to death at him; him and the whole sorry little lot of them. Fancying himself as something of a self-taught expert in both British and international law, Roon the Loon acts as the legal guru to the HOS (Facebook Brigade) and has had numerous trolls run to the police after advising them that I was, among other things, breaking a European Human Rights law FOR NATIONS by doxing them, and that I have been inciting hate speech against a minority by calling them scumbags. Yes, he had trolls go to the police and complain that they as trolls were part of a protected minority being victimised by some bully on the Internet.