Hail to the Queen (Sage Trilogy, Book 3) (26 page)

“Prattle had just been destroyed, and you thought of Allay
’s safety. I understand.”

“James…why did you transform? Do you know?”

“I…I was having a dream. About Thorn and Dominic. Thorn had some kind of hold over the Quietus and I was there. Dominic just slaughtered them one by one and no one even lifted a hand against him. I think…it might have been a message of some sort. I think something similar might have happened in Quietus. Notice how we can’t hear the battle anymore?”

“We are far away,” Catherine said with concern. “Perhaps we just can’t hear it.”

“No, I think it’s over,” James sighed. “At least most of it. If there are any survivors, it won’t be enough to pose any kind of threat to Thorn. You saw the Prattlians. They lost most of their people in the attack.”

“So your body was…
what? Moving to help?”

“Maybe,” James shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t really know. Or
maybe it was running from what’s to come. Either way, it wasn’t a confident stride, I’ll tell you that.”

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t give the order to help,” Catherine said, looking to the side. “I hope you’re not upset with me.”

“Of course not,” James said as he gave a weak smile. “I understand the decision…and besides, I’ve only just met my mother…”

“And it may be your
last…you haven’t seen her since you were a child and now that you’ve found her, I’m taking her away from you. The odds of her survival, regardless of how strong she may be - is slim. How could you not be angry with me?”

“Because I know it wasn’t an easy decision,” James said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “
I can’t say that I don’t think about her. Wonder if she’s hurt or worse…but I know that you’ve already thought of that too. That’s what will make you a great Queen someday. You do what’s best for your people, but they know you have a heart too. If you could, you would listen to it and go that route, but that’s not always what’s best for them. That’s not what helps them to survive.”

“But is denying your heart always the
right decision?” Catherine asked. “I think of how Arimus would handle Allay if he was King. It would all be about ‘the ends justifying the means,’ but I realized early on that’s not the best way to rule. We’re young, you and I, and those over us – the adults, the teachers, our parents and elders…they all like to behave as if their chronological number has given them an inner maturity that guides them, but I’ve seen quite the opposite. They’re children, just like us. They cry, fight, do crazy, unintelligible things. They feel no different than we do – it’s just that some of them have learned how to hide their emotions better. And others, even worse – try to act like their feelings aren’t even there. Like they have a steel resolve…part of me wants to believe their wisdom and life experience is all that matters – that it is all I need to know about how to conduct myself, but deep down, I know it’s a lie. How can all decisions be black and white when the very organ keeping them alive resides in the gray?”

“And that’s why you can’t just listen to Arimus, and Kyran and Scarlet all th
e time. It’s good to have council, but you’re the one who will become Queen. Not them.”

“And yet…” Catherine smiled, turning to face him. “I know also that the heart can be very misleading…” Catherine reached out and pulled James’ face to her, kissing his lips gently. James closed his eyes and slowly embraced her, sighing heavily over how blissful he felt. This is what he lived for. This is what he fought for. This moment, as brief and rare as it was. It renewed his spirit like food after days of starvation. It was rain after the drought. A warm fire after swimming through the black, icy cold water.

Her fine hair lightly tickling against his cheek, the slight rub of her nose, the sumptuous, warm and tender touch of her luscious lips. It drove him mad, but it was what kept him going nonetheless, and wasn’t that enough? It inspired him to train beyond what was necessary. It pushed him to aspire towards greater heights and levels even when the situations and people around him told him otherwise. Perhaps logic and reason was good when dealing with others’ lives, but when it came to his own, he had only his heart to guide him. Logic told him long ago he was a lazy bum that would never amount to anything. That he was dumb, immature, selfish…and the adults in his life were quick to echo his thoughts.

But it just wasn’t true. Perhaps to them, looking on the outside, he was. He even acted the exact way he described. But it wasn’t him at all. He wasn’t a lifeless drone sucking out the generosity of others until the day he died. He was a human being, just like them. He had dreams, and hope, and goals. It was just that he couldn’t see the path within the confines of the village. There was no one to show him the way. No one that aspired to be more than a merchant or a farmer so that was all he knew.

It wasn’t until he was forced to leave his comfort zone and fight for his survival that he discovered new worlds and new possibilities. Did they seem impossible to achieve? Yes. But he never gave up, despite the odds, and now he had the Princess of Allay wrapped in his arms, his powerful Sage arms…

And
the villagers would look at him and smile and nod and say yes, James had matured. He was no longer selfish or a lazy bum, and maybe this was true…but he hadn’t changed because of them. He changed on his own terms. Sure, he had been thrown in the deep end of the pond but it was still his right to drown. And drowned, he had not. He taught himself to swim when no one else would and only then did he decide how far under the water he could hold his breath.

His heart…saved his life. And he wasn’t about to stop listening to it now.

“Catherine,” James took a deep swallow as he pulled her away. She stared at him steadily with her beautiful green eyes, digging into his soul, trying to decipher the intent of his fast-beating heart.

“What is it, James?” she whispered as he
lifted his head slightly.

“Will you marry me?”

Catherine’s lips curved up slowly as her eyes darted back and forth.

“James, you can’t be serious,” she laughed playfully.

“I am. Marry me. Be my wife,” he said as he refused to quit his gaze.

“You know I can’t…” Catherine said, becoming more solemn. “And it’s a little unfair to ask this of me at a time like this.”

“We may never get another time like this,” James declared.

“I have so much on my mind…I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Then let me say something…and if at the end, you don’t want to marry me, I promise that I’ll never bring it up again.”

“I don’t believe that for one second.”

“I stopped pursuing you once Chloe told me to focus on my training, didn’t I?”

“You did…” Catherine said thoughtfully.

“Then please just let me say this, and I’ll let this go once and for all.”

“Go ahead…”

“Catherine…” James took a deep breath. “I love you…like…I need you to understand this – I’ve never loved anyone…anyone on this earth, before I met you. Not my parents, not my friends…no one....before you, I just existed. That’s it. Even though I wasn’t dead, it was like I was a ghost, just haunting the village because I had unfinished business to take care of. It was part of the reason that I never fought for anything before the academy. I heard all of the lectures – that I should work hard and become this or that, but I saw the lives of those people that gave me the advice, and it just put me into a deeper shell. I thought to myself often…why work my behind off to become a merchant or farmer when they were miserable? When they didn’t even enjoy it? When all they got out of it was stress and worry and pain? If I wasn’t such a coward, I probably would have left this world a long time ago. Catherine, I didn’t even see a reason to breathe if it wasn’t for the fact that my lungs did it automatically…

“
But you gave me a reason to live…and I need to explain…I love you not just because you’re funny and smart, and beautiful and you get all sexy when you’re acting like a Princess and giving out orders…I love you because you inspire people, myself included, to shed the dead skin they’ve been carrying on their backs for decades, and reach for something greater and more noble. You take everyone at the level they’re at, no matter how low, no matter how vile, and you challenge them – dare them to do better, not because you feel they should, but because you want them to be happy. You want us all to live in harmony and love one another and be peaceful. Somehow…you have the ability to order an execution for the good of your people, knowing what it will do to your sleep at night, and the next moment…you want all of us, no matter what Kingdom we’re from – to hold hands, and become a family. This is why even if you won’t marry me…I will still fight for you until my last breath…”

“James, I –“

“ – I’m not finished!” James cried out with a chuckle.

“Okay,” Catherine giggled. “Go on.”

“You’re constantly going over scenarios and decisions in your mind because you don’t like to displease anyone. You worry about what I think, Scarlet thinks, Arimus, Kyran, and so on…and most of all your people. I respect that, and I think it’s very mature of you…but when it comes to me…us…you never asked me what I want, what I would be willing to give up, just to be by your side forever…Catherine, I don’t want to be King. The world knows I would suck at it, but it doesn’t mean I can’t be an incredible husband and make you the happiest woman on the planet. Write up a royal decree, tell the people in a speech, order my execution if I should ever try to take over the throne. I don’t care…I just want you. I could just be your boyfriend or whatever we are right now, but I’m ready for the commitment. I want you to know that I’m in it for the long haul and you have nothing to worry about from me.

“Yes, we’re young, and everyone we come into contact with may not understand our relationship. They may ridicule it, demean it, even outright oppose it. But it was never about them from the start. It’s you…and me…that’s it. We started this love story, and we decide how it ends.”

James paused to look at her for a second.

“All you need to know…is that I’m here with you, no matter what our status is. Whether
we’re husband and wife, lovers, friends, or I’m just a bodyguard…it’s until death do us part. That’s where I stand, and so…with all that being said….” James laughed as he caught his breath. “Will you marry me?”

“You’re asking me to defy all logic?” Catherine said.

“Yes.”

“To simply go with my heart?”

“If that’s what it wants, yes.”

“To forget the fact that we’re young and impulsive and we would be going against centuries of royal etiquette, law and decency?”

“All of that…yes.”

“W
ithout a guarantee that it will work out?”

“No one
is given one in marriage,” James said with a smile, standing up to face her. “The two of you have to give each other your own guarantee. And the only way that can be broken is if one…or the other, decides it is, and I know that I will never go back on my vow.”

“We wouldn’t be officially married until…if, we reach Allay.”

“I’m fine with that.”

“You really love me?” Catherine asked, shaking her head and rising to her feet. “That much?”

“I had a lot of growing up to do first…but yes, I do.”

“In that case, James Alters,” Catherine cleared her throat, grabbed the lape
l of his shirt and pulled him close. “The Princess…and your future Queen, accepts your proposal. I just hope you –“

James cut her off with a hard kiss, clutching her hair with his right hand and embracing her tight
with the left. He didn’t care if the whole world was watching. He was in love, and…she felt the same. Catherine finally broke off the embrace and blushed as she gently rubbed her hands across James’ chest.

“You know, James…” she whispered. “I won’t –“

“- I don’t want you to,” he cut her off, raising her chin upwards to look at him. “And I wouldn’t ask you to. Not until we’re married. After all, you do have to concentrate on the problem at hand.”

James smiled playfully as Catherine slapped him lightly on the cheek.

“After such a grand display, you’re suddenly all about business?”

“I wouldn’t be able to concentrate otherwise,” James gave a half-smile. “When I found out about Jester kidnapping you, and what almost happened to us in Prattle…I needed to tell you how I felt…and I always wondered if you felt the same.
We’ve never really had the time to work it out.”