Hailey's Truth (30 page)

Hailey gripped the sheets and pulled them to her chin. What would she do if she lost him? How would she get through that kind of pain again?

She tossed the covers back. This was exactly why she’d avoided serious relationships. The deep feelings left her insecure, vulnerable. She
hated
it.

She had Sarah and Ethan, Morgan and Hunter, the girls. They were her family, her constants. Hailey never once worried they would leave, that they would make her feel fourteen and defenseless, lost, and more than anything, alone.

Sick dread weighed heavy in her stomach. For the first time since her parents’ deaths, she cocooned her heart behind a self-protective wall. She’d been hiding behind the numbing layers of her fortress for weeks. Nothing and no one had ever hurt her the way she’d hurt when she lost her family. A part of her was preparing for the same crushing pain that would come if Austin changed his mind.

Ugh, why am I doing this?

Hailey restlessly flopped to her other side. She blinked in the dark, listening to the members of her group breathe deep with sleep. Too keyed-up to lie still, she sat up to stare out the window again. She wrapped her arms tight around her knees, trying to lose herself in the relaxing ebb and flow of the waves against white sand.

The beach was twenty steps from her bunk. The moon shined bright on the water, yet she couldn’t find the comfort the sea usually brought.

The door creaked open. A sliver of light illuminated the room. Austin peeked in and Hailey’s heart stuttered. “Hey,” he whispered.

“Hey.” She gave him a half-hearted smile.

“Do you mind if I come in?”

“No.” She clutched at her knees as butterflies battered her nervous stomach.

Austin made his way to her bunk and sat down. Waves of love consumed her as she stared at his handsome face bathed in moonlight. This was too much. If she lost him, she would lose it all.

“I thought I would come by. See if you were still up.” He traced his finger down her arm.

“Here I am.” She moved slightly, out of his reach.

“I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” She wanted to hug him to her, to breathe in his familiar scent, but instead she sat where she was, hands clutching, paralyzed, too terrified to take the first step.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She blinked as tears pricked her eyes. For the first time in her life, she felt like the poster child of what everyone believed a foster child to be—emotionally unstable, broken, too far gone for anything resembling normalcy.

“You don’t seem fine.”

She got to her feet, smothering in her own hopeless frustration. Why was she doing this? Austin had come to her. He wanted to be here. “Really, I am. I’m just overtired. I should lie down, try to get some rest.”

“Can I lay with you for awhile? It feels like it’s been ages.”

She wanted to reach out but took a mental step back. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You should go.”

He stood, studying her in the shadows. “If that’s what you want.”

Don’t leave me
. “Yeah, it is. Goodnight.”

As Austin walked to the door Hailey turned, staring out the window, tears blurring the moon.

The door opened, closed. She rested her forehead against the glass, shut her eyes as the first tear fell, followed by another and another.
It’s better this way.

She gasped as strong arms wrapped around her waist. “I’ve been watching you the past few days, Hailey, when I actually get the chance.” Austin pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’ve been watching you push me away. Do you think I’m going to let you? Do you think I would walk away?”

Yes
. Her throat tightened as a sob threatened to escape.

He turned her into his chest and brushed his fingers through her hair. “All these years have done a hell of a number on you. I don’t know what I have to do to make you realize I’m right where I want to be, Hailey.”

She’d said nothing, yet he understood perfectly. Hailey tightened her grip, treasuring this gift that had walked into her life. “I’m sorry, Austin. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to be like this, but I can’t seem to help it.”

“You don’t want to be like what?”

“Like this.” She emphasized with her hands. “Unstable. Insecure. Really messed up. I thought I was handling everything well. I’ve been trying to.” She huffed out an unsteady breath. “This is so big. So important.”

“I love you just the way you are.” He kissed her. “Even if you’re a little weird.” He smiled.

She smiled back.

“You keep life interesting. Come here.” He took her hand, pulled her to the bed. “Come lay down with me. I miss waking up with you.”

“I don’t want to make things awkward. I know we’re both going for ‘professional’ while we’re here.”

“Screw it. I’m off the clock—unless someone comes in the house guns blazing. Fall asleep with me for awhile.”

She lay down.

He snuggled in beside her, played with her hair. “I really have missed you, Hailey.”

She smiled again, his words a soothing balm against her insecurities. “I’ve missed you too.”

“Are you having fun? Is this what you thought it would be?”

She stared into Austin’s kind eyes, breathed him in, and just like that, her world settled. She turned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist as he did the same to her. “I’m having a blast. I love everything about this experience. I love the people, appreciate their struggles.”

“I’ve heard good things about you.”

She frowned “You have? What do you mean?”

“Dr. Lopez is quite taken with you. ‘Señorita Hailey is a Saint. She is well-loved wherever she goes,’” Austin imitated in a very passable accent.

She chuckled. “It is easy to be loved when one loves deeply, when one has passion for her cause,” she fired back in her own Spanish accent.

He grinned. “Not bad, Roberts.”

She beamed back. “Thanks.”

Austin took her mouth suddenly, urgently. Instant waves of desire catapulted her heart into overdrive as his tongue slid against hers. He rolled on top of her, pushing her arms above her head. She reveled in the weight of his muscular body pressed to hers. It had been a month since his lips met hers, since they’d been together—a lifetime.

He feathered fevered kisses along her neck. His hands flew beneath her shirt, sending shivers over her skin as he cupped her breasts. “God, Hailey, I want you,” he said against her ear. “I need you.”

She didn’t care where they were, didn’t care that Mia slept above her, and two more roommates slept to her side. Hailey pulled Austin’s shirt over his head, desperate to feel his skin, eager to taste. Their ragged breaths mingled as they stared at each other. She wanted the flames, the mindless pleasure he brought her with a simple touch. “Take me, Austin, right here. Right here.”

His mouth crushed against hers savagely. He snagged her lip with his teeth, pulled, before he soothed with his tongue.

She reached for the button on his cargo shorts and yanked the snap. “I want you in me. God, I want you in me.”

He tugged at her pajama bottoms as their mouths met again, the anticipation almost more than she could bear. She already throbbed, ready.

The door opened; lights blazed bright with the flip of the switch. Jen stepped in the room. “Oh my God. Oh my God. I’m so sorry.” She flipped the switch and shut the door with a hurried snap.

“What the
hell
?” Mia moaned.

Hailey stared at the slats of the top bunk, struggling to catch her breath. “It’s okay, Mia. Jen didn’t know we were trying to sleep.”

“
Trying
to sleep? Some of us
are
sleeping. Or
were
,” she groaned. The bed jiggled as Mia turned over.

The heat of Austin’s breath feathered Hailey’s neck as they lay statue still. Eyes wide, she looked into Austin’s grinning face, her lips pressed together before she mouthed ‘oops.’ He chuckled, despite the awkward situation.

“I guess the cats out of the bag,” she whispered against his ear. “I imagine everyone except for Mia, Tess, and Charlie are aware we’re half-naked on the bottom bunk.”

“I think you’re probably right.”

“What about your job? Are you going to be in trouble with Ethan?”

“I’ll handle it.” He kissed her gently this time, drawing it out. “We have to do better than this, Hailey. I need to be with you—soon. Very, very soon.”

“I second that.” She brushed her fingers through his hair, treasuring this rare moment. “Can you stay for a while or do you want to go clear the air?”

“I’m all yours.”

She settled her arms around his waist, warm, content. “Just the way I want it.”

Austin sobered as he brushed the hair from her forehead. “Seriously, I’m all yours. I know the last month’s been hard, but this is it. You’re it. I want you to remember that. This is me promising you, right here, right now, that I’m yours, Hailey.”

It was almost too much to believe, but she did. She absolutely, unequivocally believed Austin meant what he said as he stared into her eyes. Happiness filled her to bursting.

For the first time since she’d lost her parents, Hailey let herself believe someone—Austin—truly loved her, cared for her, needed her as much as she did him—and he wasn’t going anywhere. “All of this is so new for me. It’s hard for me—scary—to let go of this… I don’t know how to describe it—but this little piece I hold back for myself, this little piece I can crawl back to when somebody lets me down. I’ve always had it, thought I would need it, but that’s not fair to you or me. I’m giving you everything, Austin. Please take care.” She’d stripped herself bare, for the first time, the only time.

“My God, Hailey, I love you.” He rolled off her, pulled her against him.

“I love you too.”

“Fall asleep with me.”

She closed her eyes. Safe. Content. Whole.

Austin brushed a kiss against her neck and she pulled him closer, drifting off with the waves crashing outside the window, with the full moon shining bright. With Austin in her arms.

Austin stood in the corner of the small, crowded building, watching, fascinated by Hailey. Even after hours of endless work in the windowless, stagnant office, she still smiled.

Both groups finally had the chance to venture out together. Austin was loving every second. He’d never had the opportunity to observe Hailey in her element. He’d seen her with Kylee a million times—and she was great—but this was different. Here, she was business-like, efficient, yet she exuded a warmth, an empathy that attracted others instantly.

Dr. Lopez hadn’t exaggerated; Hailey was well-loved wherever the group went. This was the third stop of their day, and no matter the situation, people were drawn to her. How could they not be? Here was her passion. Here was her gift.

The family Hailey had been helping stood from their folding chairs. Hailey placed a hand on the young woman’s arm and leaned in to whisper something in her ear. The woman smiled and hugged Hailey before she turned with her two children and left.

Hailey looked up, met Austin’s gaze, grinned.

Austin loved Hailey as he held her the night before, but after today, he somehow loved her more. She was beautiful, stunningly so, but she was so much more—a miracle. She should’ve been a mess of damaged goods, yet she was so normal. Sure, her childhood left a few scars, but at the end of the day, she was remarkably kind, remarkably sweet, and she was his.

Hailey called out a number in her ever-improving Spanish. A mom and her two children made their way to Hailey’s table. The toddler held out his arms. Hailey picked him up and snuggled him into her lap.

Glancing up, she sent Austin another smile before she took her pen in hand and started filling out relief forms with the woman sitting across from her.

As Hailey worked, Austin watched Mia and Jen do the same. Both women were kind, both were effective, but they sure as hell weren’t Hailey.

Austin leaned against the concrete wall, relaxed, perfectly content with life in general—although he was ready for this assignment to end, ready to be back in L.A. He wanted to sleep in his own bed, wanted to wake up with Hailey next to him. Sneaking out of her bunk before dawn wasn’t cutting it.

He wanted her in his apartment, in his home. It would be convenient having her down the hall, but it would be better if she moved in with him. It was a big step, a fast step, but it was right. What they had was exactly right, so why wait? He would talk about it with her after everyone went to bed.

A black-suited man stepped into the office space, followed by two more. “Son of a bitch,” Austin muttered, standing up straight, crossing his arms, sending a look to Jackson across the room. Only one person required such ceremony in a derelict area like this. As he thought it, Donte walked in.

The families waiting in line grew silent. Mothers picked up children; men pulled their wives closer.

Two more bodyguards walked in behind Donte, one of them closing the door.

“What do you wanna to do?” Jackson voice buzzed in Austin’s earpiece.

“Sit tight for now.” They couldn’t very well usher their group of twelve out the door when so many families traveled across the island for their chance to receive aide.

Hailey was oblivious to Donte’s arrival, until Donte made a beeline for her table. Austin clenched his jaw as she glanced up from her paperwork and gave Donte a huge smile. She stood, the toddler resting on her hip, and took his hand as she accepted the kiss he brushed on her cheek.

Donte said something as Hailey sat down. He settled in the seat next to hers, spoke to the small boy Hailey cuddled in her lap, making both Hailey and the young child smile.

Hailey wouldn’t be smiling if she knew Donte was the one responsible for the “presents” left by the vans a month before. The message had been for him, but Donte had chosen to involve Hailey and eleven other innocents in his need to prove a point. Everyone was fair game. It didn’t matter who the Zulas hurt.

Donte turned his attention to the mother at the table. The murmurs of his voice carried through the room. The woman cupped a hand to her mouth as Hailey’s eyes grew wide. The young mother took Donte’s hand, shaking it wildly, and hurried to her feet. “This man is a gift from God!” she shouted in Spanish. “A gift from the Heavens above!”