Half Lives (16 page)

What is he doing? He wrenches himself away and wipes at his lips.

‘Beckett.’ Greta crawls towards him, but he scrambles away. It’s too much. This is all too much.

‘I’ve got to go,’ he says, and stands. If he stays one more moment, if she kisses him again, he will never be able to tell her goodbye.

‘What?’ Greta is stumbling to her feet. She’s tugging at the hem of her T-shirt, which has risen up to expose her creamy white stomach. ‘When can I see you
again?’ she asks, and slips into his arms.

‘You can’t. You can’t stay and I can’t leave.’ He can’t keep risking everything for secret conversation and kisses. And it can never be more than
that.

She kisses him again. It feels as if they’ve been doing this forever, as if her lips were always meant to meet his. He’s never felt a force so strong. He’s got to
go. But his body is alive with the feel of her.

Beckett somehow finds the strength to walk away, but he looks back. She is standing there, mesmerized by his kiss. ‘You can never come back to the Mountain,’ he tells her.
He hates to walk away, but it’s the only way to keep her safe.

‘Sometimes we are our biggest obstacle.’

– Just Saying 200

HARPER

T
ears stream down Harper’s face but she doesn’t wipe them away. The sensation surprises her. She hasn’t cried since Beckett first
found her wandering on the Mountain.

He’s racing up the Mountain away from her, away from that girl. Harper is hidden behind one of the burial mounds.

‘He kissed
her
,’ she says to herself, but it can’t be real. That girl haunts her dreams. These flashes from Harper’s past have become more violent and
disturbing. The girl in her dreams has been replaced by the image of this girl. The memory is still cloudy but the meaning is clear. It’s a warning to stay away from her.

‘
He
kissed her,’ Harper says again and feels pain tighten in her gut. He’s been sneaking around behind her back and keeping secrets.

‘He
kissed
her.’ She saw the way he lunged for the girl and swept her in his arms. Their bodies pressed together, writhing like snakes. ‘He kissed
her.’ She lets the pain bruise and harden. With one kiss, that girl has stolen everything from Harper. Beckett is her friend, her family, her love, her whole life. But he has been keeping
secrets from her, and now he has this passion for someone else.

She wasn’t looking for him. She was looking for Atti. Harper hasn’t seen her since her ceremony and the lights last night. One of the Cheerleaders says he might have seen
her go to the Necessary early this morning, but he’s not sure. Atti loves a game of hide-and-seek. They’ve played it since she was a little rockstar. But Harper’s checked all her
hiding spots. Atti is never any good at the game. She usually springs out of her hiding place to surprise Harper. Harper’s been searching all morning.

Harper must keep looking. She wipes her face and sniffs back her sadness at Beckett’s betrayal. She’s tracked Atti to the base of the Mountain. She thought she might be
hiding among the burial mounds. She likes to visit her dad’s grave and tell Harper stories about him, even though he died a few months before she was born. Atti tells the stories her mum and
Finch told her. She paints him as this great hunter and loving father, but Harper knew Dill and he wasn’t. He was the same as everyone else on the Mountain. He did his assigned jobs and died
a slow and painful death. But Atti needs to believe he was special.

Harper glances up the Mountain. Beckett has disappeared. Harper climbs the mound of rocks without dislodging a single one. She tries not to think about the bones that are rotting
below her. She presses herself flat and looks to the spot where she saw Beckett kiss the girl. The girl is still standing there. She hasn’t spotted Harper because she’s staring up the
Mountain. The girl touches her lips – the lips that kissed Beckett – and something inside Harper snaps.

Harper screams as she leaps off the pile and sprints towards the girl. Harper doesn’t know what she’ll do when she reaches her. When the girl sees Harper, she bolts.
Harper hesitates before she heads across the desert. Harper hasn’t been off the Mountain since Beckett saved her. She’s always been too scared, but now she doesn’t care. Let the
Terrorists come.

When she reaches the first row of buildings, the girl’s pace slows. She glances back. Harper’s close enough to see the fear in her eyes. The girl dodges behind one of the
endless rows of houses. When Harper makes the same turning, the girl’s gone. Harper skids to a stop and looks down the empty spaces between the buildings. She walks to the corner of the next
house and checks left and then right. The girl has disappeared. Harper screams, a sound more like a roar. It erupts out of her and she can’t contain it. Hot tears spill from her eyes.

Harper falls against the side of a house and collapses to the ground, sobbing. She will find the girl. She just needs to calm down and listen. In the hunt, the ears are as important
as the eyes.

Harper takes a deep breath and then another. She closes her eyes and erases the image of Beckett kissing that girl. She focuses on the blackness behind her eyes. She listens for the
girl and the approach of Terrorists. Finch has recounted how their scaly bodies rustle like dried leaves, and how they growl and hiss. Harper’s body is contracted and ready for battle.

She hears voices. Male voices. Her eyes spring open.

‘What was that?’

‘I think it was some sort of animal.’

‘I think we should go.’

‘What if it’s waiting for us?’

It’s difficult to determine where the voices are coming from. She crawls to the front of the house and looks around. All the doors stand open. The windows have jagged teeth of
glass. Cheerleaders might have searched these, or they may have been gutted from the Time Before.

‘Are you sure Greta came this way?’ one voice says.

There’s mumbling and then another voice. ‘Let’s just go back. There’s nothing good here.’

‘But what was that noise?’ There are at least three separate voices and they aren’t far away.

Up ahead there are the burnt-out remains of the machines that took people from place to place. Harper stays low and slips inside one of them, hoping to get a better look at the source
of the voices. She rubs her hands in the charred remains and wipes the ash on her face and in her hair. She colours herself in black camouflage, still listening and watching.

She hears a
bang
to her left. She rises so only her eyes peek out of the blackened frame. Four boys are pounding down the front steps of a house. They are knocking into one
another and laughing. Their bodies appear to be perfectly formed like the girl’s, like Harper’s. They are also too big and bulky to be from Forreal.

The boys are heading straight for her. She sinks down and pulls herself into a tight ball. Their voices get louder.

‘Where is Greta? I thought you said she came this way, Tink.’

‘She’s gone to the mountain again, hasn’t she?’

Greta. Is that the girl’s name?

‘Da sent her to investigate the mountain, stupid.’

‘She told you what she’s doing, didn’t she?’

‘You’d better tell us.’

There’s shuffling and sounds that must be the boys hitting one another, not hard but shoving enough to make one of them stumble.

‘Stop it.’

‘Talk.’

They are so close. Harper clenches her fists to stop her hands from shaking.

‘She’s supposed to find out about the people who live on that mountain.’

‘She told us she didn’t find anything. She’s such a liar.’

Harper’s breath is coming faster and faster. The more she tries to calm herself, the harder it is to breathe.

‘Maybe we should go check it out.’

‘She said those people might be dangerous. They guard the mountain.’

They stop right beside Harper. One leans on her hiding spot and jostles her.

‘Maybe they have more food.’

‘We can’t go up there. Da and Greta would kill us.’

‘Greta is going to report back to Da and then they will decide what to do about the mountain people.’

Harper understands. Greta’s a spy. She’s using Beckett.

‘You need to grow up and think for yourself and not always follow Greta.’

Harper looks up just as one of them is shoved towards her. The brittle, burned metal breaks under his weight and he is on top of her.

He screams a high-pitched squeal when he sees her. She springs to her feet and kicks him with all her might.

‘What the—’

But Harper doesn’t let the guy finish. Before they have time to react, she punches him square in the jaw, kicks another in the chest, and swings around and shoves another one to
the ground.

The fourth one comes at Harper, but a swift kick between his legs makes him crumple to the ground. Harper raises her fists, begging one of them to make a move.

‘What is it?’ asks the one still flailing inside the metal frame.

Harper pumps her fists in the air and screams, ‘Stay away from the Mountain!’ Her voice is gravelly from the crying and running and screaming.

Harper runs, laughing at the black, lithe creature she’s become. She doesn’t look back because she knows they won’t follow her. Their fear will keep them rooted to
the spot. She hopes they deliver her message to Greta and the others who want to take the Mountain.

She passes row after row of houses. This suddenly seems familiar to her, as if she’s been here before or somewhere very much like it. She knows she shouldn’t take the time
but she peers in one of the windows. Harper can imagine what it must have looked like before the grit, sand and sun invaded. She closes her eyes and a memory comes flooding back. She sees a boy and
two girls. They must be about the same age as she is now. The ache in her gut tells her these people were her family, maybe a brother and sisters, certainly people who loved her and took care of
her. They are fighting with the girl who reminds Harper of the girl Beckett kissed. They are shouting and shoving and arguing about a can. That’s all. One blackened silver can with rust
crusting at the lid. Harper knows there’s food inside. She can see the fight but she’s safe, hidden in a pile of rags. One of her sisters glances at her. Her eyes say
Stay safe,
stay hidden
. She hears three bangs. She hadn’t noticed the weapon in the girl’s hands. Harper watches her brother and sisters fall to the floor, pools of blood spread and connect.
The girl peels her brother’s fingers off the can.

Harper opens her eyes, but she can’t shake the image or crushing sense of loss. She runs as fast as she can.

As Harper approaches the Mountain, she sees several Cheerleaders dotting the Mountainside. It’s far too many for a normal patrol and then she remembers Atti. They must be
looking for her.

Harper spots Finch’s unmistakable walk. She rushes towards him. When he sees Harper, he lets out a yell and tackles her. Harper can’t speak for dodging his fists.

‘F-F-Finch,’ she finally manages to stammer. What is he doing?

He stops with his fist drawn for another blow.

‘It’s me. It’s Harper.’

His eyes narrow, his face still contorted with rage.

‘What’s the matter with you?’ Harper struggles beneath him, but he keeps her pinned there, studying her as if he doesn’t believe it’s her.

‘Harper?’

She doesn’t respond. She realizes what she must look like painted black.

‘I thought you were a Terrorist.’ He calls her the name that was just forming in her brain.

And he’s right. How has she not seen it before?

‘Why are you covered in ash?’ He relaxes and lies beside her.

She’s turned herself black, inside and out. She became a beastie the moment she lashed out at Greta and those boys.

‘Harper, what’s the matter?’ He rolls on his elbow and stares at her. Maybe he’s seeing her for the first time, maybe he understands now too.

All her visions make sense. A girl like Greta killed her family. The girl was a person, no different from a Cheerleader.

There are no Terrorists Out There – not the kind Finch describes with scales and claws and fangs. Terrorists are not the beasties they’ve been led to believe. Terrorists
are better disguised and more deadly. Harper realizes she is a Terrorist. She hates and destroys. Greta and her people, they are Terrorists too. What Forreal has feared all along is a myth to
protect them from the knowledge that people just like them – not beasties – did this to each other.

‘Finch.’ Harper rolls over to face him. She knows how to keep Greta off the Mountain and Beckett safe. She must lie, and once again turn people into beasties.
‘I’ve seen Terrorists.’

I
’d read scary stories where people said crupid stuff such as (1) ‘That’s when I realized I was holding my breath’.
Really?
I’d never bought that anyone could forget to breathe. How many times do you think about breathing?
Um, never.
And (2) ‘I heard screaming and then realized it
was me’.
Yeah, right
. When I scream, I know for damn sure it’s me.