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“I didn’t know how I could have messed up the bookmark,” I protested. “I didn’t think he was right, but I couldn’t figure out how I had made such a big mistake. You’re a hell of a woman and all, but you’re crew. It’s not something I’d do. But if he was right and I can’t really think straight around you…I might not know. I had to allow for the possibility that I’m wrong.”

Brill sat in her chair with the most incredulous expression on her face. Then she stood up and that got our attention. “Okay, who finds this hysterically funny?” She raised her hand and focused on me. I raised my hand and we both looked at Diane. She raised her hand partway.

“Not hysterically, but it has its humorous side,” Diane admitted grudgingly.

“Now, other than poor Ishmael studying for spec one—which he could probably pass—what permanent harm has been done?”

I looked from Diane to Brill and back again. “Well, as long as we’ve established my idiocy is not related to my lack of emotional control, I’m okay.”

Brill turned to Diane. “Do you have any problems that we need to address as a group?”

Diane thought about it for a moment. “Well, since you put it that way. No.”

“In that case, go clear the ASIC!” she said with a grin.

Diane scrambled out to the watch station and acknowledged the beeping system integrity message.

Brill turned back to me. “Ish, you are, without a doubt, one of the most serious, well-meaning, intelligent, and sensitive people I’ve ever met, but if you ever let something this stupid get this far again, I will personally strap you into a precipitation tank and let it fill up.”

“Would you consider doing that anyway?”

She chuckled. “Don’t tempt me. Now, let’s see how far away from spec one you really are.”

“What?”

She held up my tablet. “If you have even half this material after a month, we can have you at spec one by the time testing rolls around. Can you think of a more fitting comeuppance for our devious Mr. Gartner?”

“But—” I started to say.

“Sit down, Wang. That’s an order!” she said, but her expression betrayed her amusement.

Chapter 14

DUNSANY ROADS SYSTEM
2352-APRIL-03

We had about two stans before Francis came back for the afternoon watch, so we had to work fast to come up with a strategy. Brill and I thrashed through the materials for about twenty ticks while Diane stewed at her station.

“You’ve done remarkably well, Ish,” Brill told me. “But you really don’t have the math skills for this yet, do you?”

“No, I don’t. I recognize it when I see it, but I’d be lying if I said I understood it.”

“Okay, let’s go for Plan B. Would you be happy with spec two?”

“I’d be happy with spec three. The
Lois
rates three spec threes and she deserves to be fully staffed.”

“Ish, do you know you talk about the ship like she’s a person?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, just as long as you’re aware of it.” She glanced at the chrono. “We need to either get a plan or wait until he has the watch and go form a plan.” She headed out into the section and nodded for me to follow.

“Diane?” Brill said.

Diane stuck her head out from behind the number two scrubber. “I’m here. Just checking the matrix we put in last week.”

“We need a plan or at least a plan for a plan.”

Diane slammed the scrubber’s case closed and came over to us. “I’m in.”

“Simple is better,” Brill said. “First question, can we all pretend that we don’t know he did it?”

“I probably can,” I said.

“I don’t know if I’m up to that,” Diane said. “Under the circumstances, I can’t really fault him for resetting the bookmark. But I don’t like that he was riding Ish. That ain’t right.”

“Well,” Brill said, “if we take the short approach, Diane will only need to keep it together long enough for a quick gotcha. We’ll be done with him by noon. Is that doable?”

Diane started to smile. “Depends on whatcha have in mind, but yeah, I think I can.”

“Okay, here’s what we are going to do.”

***

Francis was prompt. When he walked through the hatch to environmental he was met with a well scripted tableau.

“Very well, Mr. Wang, since you cannot be trusted, I accept your resignation effective immediately,” Brill said authoritatively. “We’ll find a replacement at Dunsany Roads, and since there are no other openings on the
Lois
, you’ll be placed ashore there. Do you understand?

“Yes, Chief. Thank you, Chief,” I said. “I can’t allow my feelings for Ms. Ardele to endanger the ship any longer.”

Diane’s face crumpled up and she had to turn away so we could not see her tears. Frankly, I suspected it was laughter she was hiding.

“Hi?” Francis said uncertainly. “What’s going on?”

“Ah, Francis, good you’re here.” Brill turned to him. “I understand we owe you some thanks for uncovering Mr. Wang’s weakness for Diane.”

“Wha—?” he said.

“Last night, Francis,” I said to him. “You were right. I was so distracted by Diane I didn’t even know what chapter I’d bookmarked in my tablet. It’s true. Whenever I’m around her, I just can’t think of anything else.” I hung my head in shame, and also so he wouldn’t see the corner of my lips twitching as I fought a grin.

“But—” he began.

“Ishmael has explained the situation, Francis. Thank you for being so diligent and spotting the problem. The safety of the ship is, of course, our first concern. We’ll be putting him ashore at Dunsany, and in the meantime, he’s going back to help out in the galley where he can’t do any serious damage.”

“But—” he tried again.

“That leaves us short-handed. I’ve spoken to Mr. Kelley and he doesn’t have anyone to spare, so you’re going to have to cover his watches until then.” Brill was a bulldozer. She just kept pushing and pushing.

“But—” he tried a third time.

“I’m sorry, Diane,” I broke in. “I never meant to hurt you.” I had no idea what I was saying. I was just trying to keep the play going.

“Mr. Wang, I think we’ve had just about enough from you,” Brill said coldly. “You’re dismissed.”

I headed for the hatch and I could see Francis’s face out of the corner of my eye. He was just about primed.

“Wait!” he shouted.

Thar she blows!
I thought.

“Yes, Francis? You have something to add to this conversation?” Brill asked.

“Is this about the bookmark on his tablet?” he asked.

“Why, yes,” she said. “It is.”

“And you think he’s incompetent because he was so distracted by Diane that he doesn’t know what he’s doing?”

“I believe that’s a fair assessment,” Brill agreed. “You yourself pointed it out last night, I believe. At least he had sufficient integrity to bring it to my attention this morning.”

“But I was just teasing him!” Francis objected. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Oh, Francis, I think you don’t give yourself enough credit. Obviously you are more observant than you know and must have picked up on Mr. Wang’s state of mind,” Brill answered. “The fact remains, that if he can’t keep his head on straight enough to know what bookmark he’s setting on something as simple as his tablet, how can I trust him with the lives aboard this ship? These people trust us to care for them. I can’t overlook the fact that he did not know he’d set his tablet for spec one and during six full weeks he had been so distracted by Diane that he didn’t realize it until you pointed it out to him.”

She was good—very good.

“But,” Francis said, “he didn’t set it to the wrong chapter.”

“Oh?” Brill asked archly. “Then how do you explain this?” She held up my tablet to the page that Francis had last seen me reading. “This is clearly spec one material.”

“True, but he didn’t make the mistake in setting it,” he said.

“I don’t follow, Francis. What are you saying?” Brill asked.

“He didn’t make the mistake in setting it. I set it to spec one the day we pulled out of St. Cloud. I never dreamed he wouldn’t spot it,” he said miserably.

“So this whole fiasco is your doing?” Brill said incredulously.

Francis nodded and I recognized the
can I just melt into the deck now
expression on his face. I had been wearing it not so long ago.

“Mr. Wang?” she called to me. “Do you have anything to say to Mr. Gartner on this matter?”

“Yes, Ms. Smith, I do,” I replied.

Francis turned to me with a pained and stricken across his face.

“Gotcha!” I said.

There were about four solid heartbeats of frozen disbelief on Francis’s face before he turned to find Brill and Diane grinning at him. “Gotcha!” they both said together.

“But—” he began.

I walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Francis. I know, or think I know, what happened.” I nodded toward Diane. “You saw her snatch my tablet and jigger the bookmark, right?”

He nodded.

“Then you thought you’d up the ante by boosting it to spec one?” I asked.

“Yeah, I never expected you wouldn’t spot it, but then watch after watch you came in with it. I’ve never seen anybody wrestle so hard,” he said with what sounded like admiration. “Then you rotated to the next shift and I never got a good opportunity to tell you. To be honest, I didn’t think you’d still be working on the wrong lessons until you mentioned it last night. I couldn’t believe how much of it you’d gotten through.”

“And ribbing me about Diane?”

“Oh, that. I’m sorry but it was just too perfect to pass up. I just couldn’t resist. When it comes to good-looking women, you’re easy to tease, Ish.” He looked at all of us then and said, “I’m sorry. Really I am.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Is that good enough for you two?” I asked Brill and Diane.

Brill nodded. “Yeah. I’m good. What about you, Diane?”

There was something in Diane’s stance that made me think she was going to deck him, but she finally said, “Yeah. Good enough.”

“Okay, well, then I guess it’s good enough for me.” I held out my hand to Francis.

He looked at it and then my eyes before taking it. “You’re a good man, Ish,” he said softly.

“I’m an idiot, but it comes naturally to me. I don’t need to use brilliant women like these two as an excuse. I’m dumb enough on my own,” I told him with a grin. “Good, now? Anybody ready for lunch? I think Cookie’s doing lamb with garlic.”

Diane said, “All ops normal, Mr. Gartner. No maintenance scheduled or performed. You have the watch.”

Francis replied, “Thank you, Ms. Ardele, I relieve you. I have the watch.”

“Kneesies,” Diane huffed as she brushed by him, heading for the lock.

“I’ll catch up with you in a few, Ish,” Brill said. “I’ve got some loose ends to finish up.”

I waved and followed Diane out. I almost felt sorry for Francis.

***

Diane was waiting at the ladder. “You think she’s going to ream him out?”

I shrugged. “She didn’t say much to you. The infraction isn’t worth a reaming. If he’d just left you out of it, I probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it. I’m partially to blame as well. I should have noticed. I’ve been pretty disoriented what with changing sections and trying to get used to watch standing and all.”

“Well, what’s done is done. Let’s get some lunch.” As she turned, she asked, “Did you mean what you said about two
brilliant
women?”

I chuckled. “Yeah, of course.”

“You couldn’t have said
beautiful
women?”

“Well, that part seemed obvious.”

She stopped ahead of me on the ladder and looked back. “Really? You think I’m as pretty as Brill?”

“Honestly? I think you are both amazing on so many levels that being gorgeous doesn’t even compete with the rest.”

“Damn, you’re good! Do you think that stuff up on the fly?”

“No, I have a team of writers who think it up for me and communicate via an implant in my ear. Now, do ya think you could move it? I’m getting hungry.” I laughed.

She laughed, too, and continued up the ladder.

“And, Diane?”

She looked back again.

“Don’t be too mad at him. He didn’t mean any harm.”

She gave a little
I heard you but I’m not sure what I think about it yet
shrug and scampered up the ladder.

When we got to the mess deck, we found a table and saved a seat for Brill. Cookie had, indeed, prepared lamb with some green beans and potatoes. The succulent meat was delicately seasoned with just salt, pepper, and a trace of garlic. It was utterly delightful and I ate every bite. Brill showed up about ten ticks later and took the seat we had saved for her.

“I gotta give ya credit, Ish,” she said as she sat. “The section has been plenty lively since you joined us.”

I blushed. “I’m sorry. I really only want to do a good job.”

She grinned and winked at Diane. “It’s okay. We were getting into a rut. This has bounced us out of it pretty well. Now, about that exam…” She pulled out her tablet and pulled up a quiz and started asking me questions.

Diane offered encouragement in the beginning, but the longer it went on she ended up just sitting and watching. Her head bobbed back and forth from me to Brill and back again, like she was watching some kind of tennis match.