Half to Death (7 page)

“She talks about it casually, doesn’t she?” Miranda said as she walked up. Sparky sniffed my legs, then moved to Jade’s.

Jade looked at her and back at me. I shrugged again. “I guess I do sound causal about it. Maybe I’m still coping with the gravity of it all. It changed me, though.”

I watched Jade swallow as her mind took it all in. “Well, I’m glad things turned out the way they did then,” she said awkwardly.

“Me too,” Miranda agreed. “We need to get Sparky home. I think he’s pulled my shoulder out of socket.”

Jade took that as her cue. “It was nice talking to you. I’ll see y’all at the gym,” she said with a wave and climbed into her truck.

Once we had Sparky loaded up and we were on the road, Miranda glanced over at me. “You’ve got a lot to tell, so start talking.”

Chapter 6

Thunder woke me Sunday morning. I flicked on the TV in my bedroom and watched the local weather for a few minutes before trying to call Kaylie. It went straight to voice mail where I left her a message saying she didn’t have to come in, business would be slow anyway. I asked her to call me when she got the message. She did five minutes later from the store phone. Since she was already there, the day was hers.

For breakfast, I had something low in sugar and high in fiber and a cup of coffee. I lay around watching TV until almost noon. For lunch, I made turkey on wheat sandwiches and took one to Kaylie so she wouldn’t have to go out in the weather.

Kaylie had swept and mopped the entire store; it smelled of disinfectant when I walked in. She’d also used the quiet time to rearrange the stockroom. I whistled when I saw all that she’d accomplished. “You rock, Kaylie,” I said with a smile.

She blushed at the praise. “I figured while I was here, I should at least be doing something.” Her eyes widened when she spied the sandwiches on the counter. “Is one of those mine?”

“Yep. I hope you like Sun Chips, I’m on a health kick.” I supposed she did because she’d already plugged two into her mouth before I got to the counter. “You’ve worked for me for two years, haven’t you?”

She nodded and her ponytail flopped against the back of her neck.

“You’ve come in anytime I asked, and you always do a great job. I think that deserves a bonus.” I couldn’t help but smile. She’d stopped chewing, and her cheeks were bulging.

Kaylie swallowed with a gulp. “Thank you!”

“What are you gonna do with the extra bucks?” I could tell she wanted to ask how much it was going to be but was too polite.

“I’m saving to buy a car, so the extra money will go into that fund.”

“Have you factored in insurance?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“How much are you lacking in your fund?”

“Around two hundred dollars.”

I knew she’d answered honestly because I’d seen her figures when I touched her the day before. “So five hundred dollars would get the car, insurance, gas, and perhaps an outside mechanic’s opinion that the car is a good buy?”

Kaylie’s eyes went round behind her sandwich. “Yes, ma’am,” she said slowly.

“Then surprise, that’s how much your bonus is.” She came around the counter screaming with bits of sandwich flying out of her mouth and jumped on me before I could stop her. My mind went to hers before I could even think to stop it.

The day was sunny, and I could hear the streamers above my head flapping in the breeze, cheesy eye catchers that used car salesmen circled their lots with to draw attention. The VW Bug had a few scratches and dents, but the upholstery looked good, and besides it was blue, Kaylie’s favorite color. I could hear her praying in my head,
Please, God, don’t let anyone buy it before I can.
I felt the warmth of the hood when she put her hand on it and spoke. “You’re mine. I’ll be back for you soon.”

“Are you okay?” She was looking at me, concern etched her brow.

“I’m fine, got a little choked on a chip during the excitement.” I cleared my throat for effect. “Would you like me to go ahead and pay you today?”

She looked like she was going to cry. “Yes, ma’am, that would be great.”

“Then I’ll do it on two conditions.” Her brows rose as she nodded, agreeing to whatever I had to say before it came out of my mouth. “Stop calling me ma’am, it makes me feel old, and promise that you’ll take the car to a mechanic before you hand over the money.”

“I will. My dad knows someone.” She clapped her hands and squealed.

“Will your dad go with you to buy the car?”

“Yes, ma—yes, he will. I have three sisters, and we all have to buy our own first cars. Dad says we’ll take care of them if we have to buy them ourselves. He’s kind of strict about money, but he always goes when one of us picks one and helps with the buying.”

She looked like she was going to hug me again, and I slipped off the stool and grabbed my sandwich. “I’m gonna go back to my office and make out the check.”

“Okay,” she said with a beaming smile. “Thank you so much, Sloan.”

Maybe she couldn’t sit still or she was determined to show her appreciation, but that child had scrubbed half the windows in the store until they were crystal clear by the time I returned. “I need to go back to the house, so I’m leaving the check right here on the counter,” I called out to her. “Put it in your purse as soon as you can. The windows look great, thanks.”

I was happy to share in her joy and receive her hugs, but I felt wrong for allowing her to touch me without knowing what I could do. Besides, Miranda and I had already used her as an experiment, and I felt guilty enough about that.

I flopped back down on the couch and surfed the channels looking for something to get into. My phone rang a few minutes into a Lifetime movie. I grabbed it up, expecting it to be Miranda, but I didn’t recognize the number. Prepared to tongue lash a phone solicitor, I answered.

“Uh, Sloan?”

“Yes,” I said, trying to place the voice.

“This is Jade from the gym.”

I thought it kind of amusing that she felt she had to clarify who she was as if there were a million Jades running around Panacea. “Hey, Jade, what’s up?”

“It’s…uh…crappy outside, and I wanted to go see a movie. I…don’t want to go alone. Would you be interested?”

“Sure. What do you want to see and what time does it start?”

“I don’t care, and I have no idea.” She chuckled.

“Okay, do you want to meet me here and we’ll look on the computer or do you want me to pick you up and we’ll look at yours? There are a couple of theaters in Tallahassee, so we have choices.”

“I’m at the gym. If you want to meet me here, we can look online, then head out.”

“Give me about forty-five minutes to grab a shower and get over there.”

“Okay, see you then.”

I jumped off the couch and ran into the bathroom. I showered and dressed and was out the door in record time. It wasn’t until I was behind the wheel that I thought about what I was doing. I hated movie theaters. There was never anything that I wanted to see bad enough that I couldn’t wait for it to come out on video. I was spoiled by my DVD player. I could lie down in my favorite ragged clothes and pause the movie when I wanted to go to the bathroom. Nevertheless, I was going out on a stormy day to sit in a crowded theater to watch…something.

It was Jade. I wanted to be with her, perhaps for different reasons than two months earlier. But now, I was simply intrigued with another human being, and I wanted to get to know her. At least that’s what I told myself. Truth be known, she was attractive and I was attracted, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. It wasn’t a date anyway. She was reaching out in friendship, and I was willing to take it.

After I arrived at the gym, I walked down the hall to the last office, a closet really, and found Jade staring at a laptop. She spun it around to face me. “Comedy, romance, and thrillers. What’s your pick?”

I looked at the choices and noticed a comedy that I’d seen the trailer for. “How about something funny?”

“Fine by me. When does it start?”

I looked at my watch. “At four. I think we can make it if you let me drive.” I grinned when Jade cocked her head. “I know all the shortcuts, and I’m a shitty navigator.”

“I guess you’re driving then.”

Jade had to adjust the seat before she could even climb into my Mustang. When I looked over at her, she appeared to be riding in the backseat her head was so far back. “This car isn’t much for leg room, is it?” I said apologetically.

“This car is
fine
.” Jade leaned over, looking at all the gauges and nearly brushed against me. I froze, hoping we wouldn’t make contact. The thought occurred to me that if she casually touched my arm or brushed my hand while I was driving, there was no telling where we’d end up. I slumped against the door, hoping she’d think I was doing it to look cool.

“I take it you like Mustangs.”

“I like muscle cars.” Jade looked around the backseat, which she was presently sitting in. “I really like this retro look.”

“What kind of car do you have?”

“A shitty truck.”

“That’s foreign, right?”

Jade chuckled at my joke. “American, a Ford.”

“I remember you leaned against it at the vet’s office. Must be a lot easier for you to get in and out of. You mind if I ask how tall you are?”

“Six-foot-two. I wish I was your height, though. Buying clothes when you’re a giant is a pain in the ass.”

“Are you from Florida originally?” I asked, picking up on a slight accent.

“I grew up in Boise, Idaho, but I’ve lived a lot of places. I like the climate here. I might make this home.”

“Are you an Army brat?”

“No.” Jade looked out her window, and I took that as a sign that I was heading into something she didn’t want to talk about. “What was it like?” she asked suddenly.

“What?”

She glanced my way, then looked out at the road. “Your experience…if you don’t mind me asking.”

“I didn’t see anything if that’s what you want to know. If I did, I don’t remember it. Sort of like when you wake up after a deep sleep, you know you dreamed, but nothing comes to mind.” I tapped the wheel with my finger. “No one seems to believe me. They all think I won’t talk about it.”

“You keep things to yourself a lot?”

I shrugged and exhaled loudly. “I tell Miranda pretty much everything but not the rest of my friends. They all talk freely about things that concern them, but I keep my thoughts to myself. I suppose I’m sort of private in that regard.”

“Makes sense.” Jade looked back out her window again. “Would I be invading your privacy if I asked you how the accident changed you? You don’t have to answer if it’s too personal, but ever since you told me, I’ve been curious.”

I would’ve been curious, too. I had been about her. So much so that I touched her and invaded her privacy, but I couldn’t be totally honest. Maybe one day I would, but not until I had it all sorted out in my mind and under some semblance of control. “There are some parts I can’t discuss, parts that are still a bit raw and I need time to…cope with them before I can put them to words. The experience has made me look at life differently. I thought this was all there is, and even though I didn’t see a tunnel of light or stunning visions, I came back with a knowing that this isn’t our only existence.”

I could see Jade looking at me out of the corner of my eye, her expression blank. She didn’t say a word. It made me nervous.

I exhaled and continued. “I came back wanting…things.”

“Like what?” she asked softly.

I regretted my admission, but something inside me said if I wasn’t honest with her on this part, all would be lost. I wasn’t really sure what that meant. “I’ve never been an affectionate person, but now…I crave it. I occupied my time with lots of women, but I felt nothing for them. When it became apparent that they were getting attached, I dropped them and ran the other direction. I want to be connected, and I’m not talking about sex. I want interaction, a connection with people.”

“So you were really a player.” Jade folded her arms. “Were you playing the field until you found someone who you wanted to settle with, or was it just the thrill of the hunt?”

“No.” I bit my lip, wishing that we were already in the theater where conversation wasn’t necessary. “Fear of getting hurt. Fear of being happy and having it taken away.” I couldn’t believe I’d admitted that to her. There was only one person to whom I bared my soul because Miranda often knew me better than I knew myself. Maybe it was because I sensed Jade’s hurt and how it permeated her being. Maybe I knew she’d understand.

“I see couples all the time, and I wonder how they make it work, especially the elderly ones that have been together forever. I wonder if it’s truly love or if they just need each other so much that they can’t make it on their own.”

“Maybe a little of both. They love so intensely that they can’t be apart.”

“Scary, isn’t it?” She said it so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.

I pulled into the parking lot and killed the engine. “Yes, it is.”

*******

I’d heard Jade chuckle, but I’d never heard her release a full-blown laugh. She was slumped down in her seat, body-shaking, cackle laughing. I think I laughed at her more than I did the movie. As we sat there, I realized that maybe I was seeing something few others rarely or if ever did.

She shifted in her seat a lot, even though she was sitting on the end of the row, trying to accommodate her legs. Shorter than her, I was wiggling, too, then her leg connected with mine. Images more vivid than the movie played before my eyes, and I couldn’t pull away.

I felt a breeze on my bare skin, the warmth of the sheets draped across my legs, the cool of the headboard against my back. A woman covered her breasts with her bra and reached for her shirt. “Why have I never seen your house?” I asked and heard Jade’s voice speaking the words.

Blue eyes looked up at us. “You know it’s complicated. My ex likes to makes things difficult for me. She drops in unannounced. She’d go crazy if she found you there.”

Jade knew it was a lie. She’d known for a while, but she hoped things would change. They were having an affair. And for a time, Jade assuaged her conscience by allowing herself to accept the lie. “Lauren, is there ever going to be a time when we do things like normal couples do? Have dinner at home, watch a movie?”