Hallowed Circle (34 page)

I left the cellar.

An hour later, someone knocked on my door.

From my bedroom where the busywork of sorting laundry kept me from nonproductive pacing, I’d heard the cars leaving and expected this. I’d asked Nana to remain upstairs so we could have privacy. She promised.

At the bottom of the stairs, though, I grew worried. The shadows beyond my door meant far more than one person was waiting. And I could hear them whispering hotly back and forth.

I opened the door to see Theo and Celia in front, Erik and Johnny behind them.

Before I could ask them to come in, Theo stepped forward. “What the fuck did you do to us?” Her tone wasn’t aggressive, just concerned.

“What?” Was something wrong with the doughnuts?

“When you did the spell that forced us all to change.”

Oh. This was the first regular change the four of them experienced since Theo’s accident. “You better come in,” I said, proceeding down the hall.

The four of them followed me into the kitchen. “Coffee?”

“No, just answers,” Theo said.

“I want coffee,” Erik said.

Celia cut around me, putting her hand on my arm in passing. “I’ll make it, Seph.”

“Thanks.” To Theodora I said, “Tell me what’s going on.”

She sank into a chair at the dinette. “I remember last night. All of it. We all do.”

I wanted to make a wisecrack, but refrained. Last time this group sat around my table, Johnny admitted that even in wolf-form he kept his human sensibilities. I slid into the bench seat and scooted down. I asked him, “Anything different for you?”
Aside from sharing your kennel, that is.

He shook his head. “No.” His eyes flicked to the empty portion of bench beside me as if he were thinking of sitting there. But he didn’t.

“This is what it’s like for you all the time?” Theo asked. “Never losing yourself to the wolf?”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t kennel with Feral ever again,” she said, running hands over her hair and clasping them at the back
of her neck. Her elbows hugged around her head as if she could hide her face.

“Why not?” I asked.

“He wouldn’t stop trying to mount me!” She peered through her arms at Johnny, who’d taken up a position in the doorway to the dining room. “Ugh! And Tom and Jeri, and Steve and Cherynna—all they did was mate!”

Johnny shrugged and said, “That’s what you guys always do. That’s why I always …” He couldn’t say he always kenneled alone anymore. His arms crossed over his chest and studied the floor.

Behind me Celia took mugs from the cupboard and set them on the counter none-too-lightly. Tense silence followed, broken when the coffee started perking. The smell of it seemed strong and ashy, repellent to me. “The soundproofing isn’t there only because you howl,” I said quietly, noting that Steve and Cherynna must be the new couple I saw. “It’s also there to mask the mating sounds.”

“If it’s the four of us, it has to be because of the spell you did,” Theo said.

I didn’t doubt her logic. “I didn’t know it would have this effect.”

“I don’t understand,” Celia said to Theo. “Are you unhappy about it? Do you not want to keep your sensibility about you?”

“It felt like I was trapped with a rapist all night, Celia!”

“Oh, god.” Her tone faltered. “I didn’t, I mean …”

“Forget it. It’s fine.”

“Let me get Nana,” I said, scooting from the bench. “Maybe she’ll be able to shed some light on this.”

I explained to her what was going on as we came down the steps. Entering the kitchen, I resumed my spot on the bench. Nana stood there considering the wæres. “Well,” she said to Johnny, “if Seph did this to the rest of them, who did it to you?”

Good question.

“And when?” she added, shuffling over to sit beside me. “And why? And did they know it would have that effect?”

“I’ve struggled with those questions for eight years, Demeter.”

“Can we assume, since Johnny maintains his sense of self, that we will likewise be aberrations from now on?” Erik asked, sipping coffee Celia had poured him.

Nana hit the tabletop and stared at me. “An aberrant pack of wolfen!”

“What?” Theo asked.

“I did some research on the Lustrata and—”

“And,” I cut her off, “before we get sidetracked, I have to ask something.” I paused. “I know I’m not supposed to know. I know you won’t want to tell me. But we’ve deepened the level of trust among us in the last month. Witches have their legends. Wæres must have theirs. Don’t they tell you about them in the six weeks you’re gone for your fortieth full moon?”

Looks shot around like wild pinballs. No one spoke. I turned to Celia, thinking she would be the one to break, to show me she trusted me. We’d been friends since college.

But it was Johnny who spoke. “No. The purpose of the den is other,” he said.

“Johnny,” Celia protested.

“She’s the Lustrata!” He came forward. “She must have a foot in our world.”

“What if that’s all bullshit?” Erik asked. “No offense, Seph, but this hero-witch business isn’t easy to accept.”

“No offense taken,” I said.

“She is,” Johnny insisted. “She gave you the
gift,
how can you not believe?”

“Gift?” I asked.

“Everyone knows wæres lose their humanity—body and mind—when they transform, but don’t you realize you have been given half of that back?” He faced Erik. “Once you told me that when the beast rose the man sank and it left you feeling robbed. Now you’ll be a man, always! You won’t act like an animal, unless you choose to,” Johnny said.

I decided to remember that last remark for later. “What about your at-will partial transformation?” Okay, it was a dirty Nana-trick to ask him in front of everyone, knowing he’d be forced to respond because everyone would pressure him if he didn’t, but I intended to get my answer. “Can they do that too?”

Johnny glared at me.

I glared back.

“You can do that?” Theo asked him pointedly.

Johnny turned like he would walk out, but his feet didn’t carry him away. He spun back, angry. Jaw closed tight, breathing hard through his nostrils, his forearms crossed before him, he made fists so hard he shook. With a low growl he lowered his arms, opening his hands as he did. Nail beds narrowed and elongated, fingers went dark
and slightly furry. Bones popped as his fingers grew thick and long. He shouted and fell to his knees, panting. His head hung.

Stunned, we were all silent as his arms hung limp at his sides and claws reverted to normal hands.

“Domn Lup,” Nana whispered.

“How the hell did you do that?” Erik demanded, moving to offer Johnny a hand.

“Will.”

“Can you go all the way?”

Johnny brightened, opened his mouth, surely to say something lewd, but shut it without uttering anything. His answer was simply, “Not yet.”

“Yet?”

“It’s easier when I’m angry. I haven’t been
that
angry.”

Celia asked, “Does the
dirija
know about any of this?”

Johnny shook his head no.

“Dirija?”
I asked.

“The title of the local supervisor.”

“And you’re pushing me to out myself to the Elders,” I said flatly.

“Speaking of the Lustrata,” he said, his attention transferring to Nana, “what did your research reveal, Demeter?”

“Oh no,” I cut in. “You still haven’t told me what goes on with the fortieth full moon and all.”

Hands on hips, he said, “At the end of our third year as a wære, the beginning of our fourth, we are called to participate in a group training exercise called the
luna patruzeci.
It means simply fortieth moon. We retreat to the
Grimasa-azil,
it is our home. The name means ‘grimace sanctuary’ because we change together, unkenneled, as a
group. I attended the
luna suta
or hundredth moon, before I started kenneling here.”

“What kind of training exercise?” Nana asked.

“They say they’re teaching us for a worst-case scenario, but bottom line is, as men and women, we are taught to wage war.”

Nana twisted in her seat to stare and me and ask, “
Now
can I tell them?”

I conceded with a small nod.

“I have foreseen the hostilities. They must be avoided at all costs.” She pursed her lips, then went on. “There are strong personalities among you. Strong minds. There are things you must do, things that may not soothe your nature, but will stir its opposition. And still it must be done.”

“What must we do?” Theo asked.

“You are a pack. More than that, you are the Lustrata’s pack. And she will have need of you.”

“You mean we’re her pets?” Erik asked, his tone clearly offended.

“Not pets,” Nana said, “but you must honor her summoning.”

Erik came forward. “No.” He stopped, facing Johnny. “No. For years we’ve worked on what we wanted. On the contract we now have in hand. I know, man, you’ve spent years on this Lustrata thing, but you can’t tell me you’ll blow off the label—your shot at fame—to stay in a farmhouse in Ohio and be the watchdog of a witch.”

Johnny hadn’t been slumping, but he rose up, shoulders squaring, chest broadening. Wordless, his posture said everything.

Erik asked, “You’re going to let this ruin the deal for the rest of us, aren’t you?”

Johnny didn’t flinch or blink.

“Celia,” Erik said, and left.

Head down, she followed him out.

“Nana, let me out.” I was going after them.

She didn’t budge from the end of the bench.

“Give him time,” Theo said. “He’ll cool down. They’ll be back.”

Johnny turned and strolled into the living room, biker-boots tapping each slow step down the hallway.

Nana got up and motioned me to get off the bench.

“What?” I asked. She hadn’t moved an inch when I wanted out, but now she wasn’t giving me an option.

“Go talk to him,” she whispered.

After a glance at Theo, I scooted from the bench. Behind me, Theo asked, “So, Demeter, can you tell me about the spell that did this to us?”

Johnny stood in the living room. I couldn’t tell if he was staring out the picture window, with its view of Erik’s Infiniti just pulling out of sight, or if he was looking at the couch where we’d had sex.

I picked up the receiver from my desk phone and dialed his number. Suddenly the sound of Motley Crüe’s “Looks That Kill” filled the living room. He turned and looked askance at me. I shrugged. “I wanted to know what my ringtone was.”

He turned away. I hung up the phone and walked into the living room.

“So you got a contract. That’s fantastic.” I wished it
had come out more enthusiastically.
Something of greater value.

“Haven’t signed it yet.”

“Why not?” I asked, surprised. “It’s what you want, isn’t it?”

“I want a lot of things.”

The muscles in my neck and shoulders felt so taut they might snap. I moved past him and sat on the couch, off to the far end. “I have something to say. And I don’t want you to interrupt me.” He nodded. “I couldn’t figure out if I had done what we did because I wanted to or if the stain was in charge. I had to sort some things out and, until I knew for certain, I couldn’t falsely let you think all was perfect. I see now that my reaction may have made you think I was regretful, childish, and scared. I don’t know if I was more afraid that it was the stain or more afraid it would be just me because then, if it was me, then what I felt would be … real.

“I came to the show to tell you that I’d figured it out.” I paused. “I hadn’t heard the band before. You guys sound great. Celia had said you were a great singer but I didn’t know how …” I struggled for the right word.

“Look Red, Celia told me she saw you at the show. And that you hightailed it out of there after we left the stage.”

Realizing my lowered eyes was a defeatist position, my chin raised to face him squarely. I’d done nothing to be ashamed of. I wouldn’t be the embarrassed one here. I put on a mirthless smile. “My exit was so fast I left my leather blazer in the coat check.”

“I know what you saw,” he said, hands sliding into his pockets. “And I want to explain.”

“You don’t have to. You don’t owe me anything.” My voice was flat, firm, and void of emotion.

Those Wedjat-tattooed eyes fixed on me. “Yes, I do.”

I waited, unaffected. Blank.

He knew I had mastered the skill he’d taught me; the sorrow he couldn’t hide made it clear. “They are Samantha and Cameron Harding, Sammi and Cammi.”

“As in Harding Bank?” I’d seen their commercials.

“Yeah. They’re the forty-something twins whose rich daddy died and left them his banks, so they kind of don’t live in the same world we do, if you know what I mean. They’ve been wære for six years and even bankrolled an underground vault with kennels inside for wære employees to use. They’re good friends of Celia’s; she often refers clients to their banks for financing. They put the money up for Lycanthropia’s CD.”