Halloween Hiccups: A Mercy Mares Cozy Mystery Novella (6 page)

              By the time I woke up, Hank had already walked Barney, made breakfast, and read half of the morning's newspaper.

“Good morning, sunshine!” He greeted me as I walked into the kitchen, one eye still closed and the other fighting to stay open.

“Don't speak to me before coffee. That's a rule in this house.” I groaned.

“The coffee is ready.” Hank pointed to the coffee pot on the counter. “You better get a move on it. You're super sleuth neighbor has already been here twice to see if you're ready for your long run this morning.”

I need to move
, I thought.
I'll put that on my to-do list as soon as I start making one.

“So, what's the plan today?” I asked as I poured my first cup of morning caffeine. “Electric shock therapy?”

Hank laughed, nearly spitting out his cup of coffee.

“If that's what you need, I suppose we could make that happen.” Hank teased. “But, we'll have to wait because Ruby and Nubbin are on their way over and, I believe, Charlie is at the police station trying to make amends with his future co-workers.”

I cringed. I'd forgotten that I'd put Charlie in an uncomfortable situation.

“He's still mad, huh?” I asked.

Hank nodded, as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “You better believe it. Think about how uncomfortable it must have been for him to have to pick you and Nubbin up from the very police station, where he will be sworn in as the new chief a month from now.”

Ouch!

“I goofed.” I shrugged.

“By the way, someone named Ernie called you. He said he'll call back.” Hank informed me. “Are you replacing Charlie?”

Um, that's not funny!

“Charlie and I are not a couple!” I answered.

Hank smirked. “Well, anyway, this Ernie says he'll call you back this afternoon.”

“He's Stanley's business partner, remember?” I reminded Hank. “Ruby knows him.”

I wondered why he'd be calling me. I didn't know him. I'd met him on a few occasions, but we weren't friends.

I sat down in the seat opposite Hank and put my head in my hands.

“So, let's see, Margie wants to torture me with a long run, Nubbin and Ruby are on their way to lecture me, Charlie is mad at me, you're protecting the world from me, and Stanley's business partner wants to speak to me? When did I become the popular kid?” I shook my head. It was going to be a long day.

“When you decided to investigate a crime that is already being investigated.” Ruby stepped inside the house.

“Good morning, my Irish hothead.” I raised my coffee mug to toast her.

“No, we're not going to joke around. You need to explain yourself and, for goodness sake, take that hideous robe off! Why aren't you dressed yet? It's almost eleven in the morning.” Ruby scolded me like I was a child, so my go-to method was to whine like a child.

“I don't want to.” I whined.

Ruby looked at Hank. He shrugged.

Nubbin exhaled loudly. “Broke down Honda, do what the lady tells you. I think she means business.”

I swung around, shocked by what he said about my precious Gertrude – my highly unreliable, yet undeniably paid for twenty something year old Honda. No one spoke badly of Gertrude, except for me and the mechanic who had built his career and could have paid for his home a hundred times over based on the amount of repairs I've had to have done.

“Look at that. She lives!” Nubbin exclaimed, pointing to the scowl on my face.

While everyone enjoyed a laugh at my expense, I quietly walked away and threw myself onto the sofa to catch up on what was happening in the world before Margie came looking for me again.

I turned the television on and raised the volume to cancel out the chatter and cackling on the other side of the wall in the kitchen.

I heard her voice before the picture came into full view. Charlene was being interviewed by Tawny Jacobs, our local blonde bombshell news reporter.

“Look! Look!” I tried to yell loud enough for everyone to hear me. “Charlene is on the news.”

I raised the volume even louder so they could hear from the kitchen.

Charlene said, “Yes, I filmed the whole kit and caboodle. I saw it all. She was standing over him, towering like a giant, and yelling all sorts of hateful things at that poor man. When the police arrived, both of them, Ruby and Mercy, were standing over his body, just looking at their handiwork.”

Those were the last words I remembered until I felt the sensation of drowning. I shot up into a sitting position with Nubbin and Hank standing over me, calling my name.

“What happened? Why are you trying to drown me in my sleep?” I asked.

“You fainted!” Nubbin yelled. “We're not doing this for our health, Ferrari.”

Ruby did the standard testing: name, address, who's the president of the United States.

“I know where I am.” I said, trying to sit up, but my head felt like it was spinning, so I laid back down and let Ruby elevate my feet with one of my sofa cushions.

Hank was seated on the floor next to me. “Don't worry about going on your run. I already let Margie know that it probably wouldn't be a good idea.”

“You think?” I said, holding my hand to my forehead.

“Can you believe that woman?” Ruby asked, referring to Charlene.

I groaned. “Oh, I was hoping that was a dream. She really told the world that she saw us kill Stanley?”

Hank corrected me. “Well, not exactly the whole world, she only mentioned it to local viewers.”

“Way to give her the benefit of the doubt.” Ruby said sarcastically. “It's not like she accused your wife of murder or anything.”

Uh oh, someone was in trouble now.

The phone rang, saving Hank from Ruby's wrath.

“I'll get it.” Nubbin answered the phone before the second ring.

“Schmeckpepper here.” He answered.

I waited for him to hand me the phone, but he didn't. Instead, he took the phone with him to the other room.

I figured, whoever it was would learn not to call back with Nubbin in town. He wasn't the best conversationalist.

Hank patted my leg. “Feeling better yet?”

“Why does she need to feel better right away?” Ruby asked. “I think we're all safer if Mercy is down for the count.”

“What did I do?” I asked, offended by her remarks.

Hank and Ruby exchanged glances. It didn't matter how upset one was with the other, one shared glance would make it all fade away. I'd witnessed it hundreds of times over the years. Soon, Ruby would be mesmerized by Hank's warm blue eyes and he'd be drooling over her big green eyes and their little tiff would be long forgotten.

Nubbin returned and took the seat nearest Barney to pet him. It was such a kind gesture, I could have cried just watching them. Barney enjoyed it too, snuggling up to Nubbin's leg.
How precious!

“Someone named Ernest says he's on his way over and its urgent.” Nubbin announced as if there was nothing out of the ordinary about his statement.

“Coming here? Why?” I shot up into a seated position.

Hank pulled his eyes from the strong hold that Ruby's eyes had on him and asked, “Who is Ernie?”

“He's Stanley's business partner. You met him when we went to the city council meeting to get a permit for the haunted house.” Ruby told him. Looking at me, “What does he want with you?”

I shrugged, deferring to Nubbin. “What did Ernie say?”

“Lexus, I told you already. He says he's coming over to talk to you about something important.” Nubbin said. “You'll find out in a minute because he said he's sitting outside in his car.”

My heart leaped into my throat.

“He's outside right now, and you didn't think that was important to say?” I asked Nubbin, who at one time used to be pretty in tune with most situations, good or bad. He was slipping.

Ruby and I exchanged concerned looks.

I stood up. Hank and Ruby both braced themselves in case my equilibrium failed me again.

“I'm fine. Let's just see what he wants.” I walked over to the door gingerly because my head was still spinning, but I wasn't sure whether that was due to what I'd heard on television or the news that Stanley's longtime friend and business partner was sitting outside of my house.”

His car sat right behind mine, idling slowly.

Our eyes met and we nodded at each other.

I took a deep breath and made my way to his car.
What did I have to worry about
, I told myself.
I didn't do anything wrong. Maybe he just wanted someone to commiserate with about his feelings. I wasn't that person, but maybe he thought I was.

“Good morning, Ernie. What brings you by this morning?” I asked, trying to sound as calm, cool and collected as I could for a woman who looked as frightened as she felt about this situation. It didn't help that I still hadn't combed the rat's nest on top of my head or changed out of my robe and slippers, but what could I do? I wasn't expecting company beyond the people in my inner circle of family and friends.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you, Mercedes. Your husband... er, man friend... said to come on over now. I hope that's okay.” Ernie said, his eyes wide as he studied my out of control, mind-of-its-own frizzy mop.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the window and immediately tried to tame it before I was mistaken for a lion.

“It's fine. I've been awake for hours.” I told him.

His eyes skimmed down my pajama and dandelion socks clad body, stopping at my bear claw slippers.

“Okay. Would you mind going for a ride with me?” He asked.

Yes, I would mind! I don't know you beyond the occasional head nod at the grocery store.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Go ahead and take a minute to get dressed. I'll wait.” Ernie said before closing the window.

              I may have looked ready to go, but I sure as beans didn't feel like I was ready. Just in case he tried anything funny, I had my cell phone on in one pocket, so Ruby could hear the whole conversation and had mace in my other pocket. I prayed that Hank could keep Nubbin entertained long enough so that Ernie wouldn't hear any chatter coming from my pocket and know that I was recording our rendezvous.

“Where are we going, if I may ask?” I asked, keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of duct tape or rope, in case the plan was to kidnap me.

What? That's a possibility, right? I watch Lifetime. I know how this stuff works.

“Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to be so secretive. As you can imagine, I'm completely out of sorts. Stanley was not just my business partner, he was my best friend. We'd been friends since grade school. Do you remember, back in Mrs. Johnson's class? You were there. She had third and fourth graders in the same room.” Ernie tried to jog my memory.

“Yes, I was in third grade. No offense, but you and I are the same age?” I asked, taking note of his silver mane and the age spots splattered across his forehead.

Ernie chuckled. “No, probably not. I was a fourth grader, so I'm at least a year older than you are, but obviously life and unfortunately now Stanley's death has taken a toll on me.” He said with a touch of sadness in his voice. “Well, Stanley and I have been friends longer than I can remember. I don't know what I'm going to do without him. As you know all too well, he wasn't the easiest person to get along with. He had his moments. Boy, did he have his moments.” Hank sniffled as he remembered his friend.

I nodded and made conversational noises as he continued, while trying to focus on the drive.

“After his divorce, Stanley changed. He became bitter. I couldn't blame him. She took everything from him. I always knew that she was no good for him, but love has a funny way of making us do things we wouldn't normally do.” Hank said.

That was news to me. What kind of woman would marry that weasel of a man and how come I'd never heard anything about it before this?

“Stanley was married? To who?” I asked, imagining the kind of woman who would fall for him. She wouldn't have been a friend of mine, that's for sure.

Ernie pulled into the block where the Anderson Manor sat, looking down ominously at the town of Lake Villa.

“What are we doing here?” I asked, my senses on high alert now.

Ernie pulled up the small hill and parked in front of the steep stairs leading up to the manor.

“I want you to see something.” He said, giving no clue as to whether or not his intentions were good or evil. The way my mind worked, I had a hunch – a gut feeling – that this trip wasn't just about a couple of old classmates shooting the breeze.

Remembering that my phone was still on in my pocket, I spoke loud enough for Ruby to hear. “Why are we at Anderson Manor? I repeat, Anderson Manor? Why have you driven me here, Ernie – that's capital E for echo, R for...”

Ernie gasped. “What are you doing? Why are speaking like that? Who are you talking to?”

I stopped my not-so-inconspicuous behavior and answered him. “Sorry, but this is all so unusual. I've asked you where we were going and you didn't answer. Forgive me if I'm a little paranoid, but a man – a man we both know – was just murdered.” I pointed out the window to the corn stalks. “Right here. And, now you've driven me here. What am I supposed to think?”

The response I expected was some sort of explanation or denial or maybe even a confession. Ernie didn't offer me any of those.

He laughed heartily, amused by my paranoia.

“You think I brought you here to hurt you? Why? What have I ever done to you or to anyone?” Ernie asked, offended by my assumptions about him. “I brought you here because I need your help. I heard that you've helped the police before. You've helped them find murderers. When I heard that you were here at the manor, searching for clues, I thought that you would be willing to help me.” He sighed in frustration. “Mercedes, I'm not going to hurt you. I need your help.”

I still wasn't convinced. He hadn't told me anything yet.

“My help? I don't know anything about what happened here that night. I was at home, in bed.” I said.

He slid out of the car and walked around behind it to get to my side and opened the door for me.

“Come with me.” He said, holding out his hand for me to take.

I took it tentatively, but not before alerting Ruby to what was happening.

“You want me to go inside the Anderson Manor with you, Ernie?” I asked loudly.

He rolled his eyes. “Take your phone out of your pocket and let your friends know that, yes, we are going inside and we will also be outside on the grounds.”

He had no idea how sting operations worked!

So, whether I wanted to or not, I'd somehow managed to squeeze a cardio workout into my day. These steps leading up to the house were enough to make me wish I'd stayed in bed.

“Does the city know we're here?” I asked. “Don't they own this house?”

Ernie continued climbing the steps, holding my elbow to help me navigate them. My head was still woozy, but I didn't want him to know that.

“I don't have to let them know. I own this house and the surrounding property.” Ernie said.

I stopped.

“You own this? You bought it from the Andersons? Why?” I asked, surprised that anyone would want to own this creepy structure.

“No, I inherited it. My mother was an Anderson. When she passed away, she left it to me and my wife.” Ernie explained. “You didn't know that?”

Uh, no!

I looked at him more closely. He was a handsome man, by any standards. Not movie star handsome, but pleasing to the eye in a normal person sort of way. Like most men, he improved with age. His once jet black hair had gone completely silver years ago. His dark blue eyes were still his best feature, but the rest of the face attached to them wasn't all that bad. He stood six feet tall, by my estimate. That was a plus.

I didn't see one iota of creepy Anderson in him. As I recalled, they resembled the children from a book I was warned not to read but read anyway. I can't recall the name of the series, but I distinctly remember something about having flowers growing in an attic or something like that. It gave me chills to think about it.

“My mom was a blonde.” Ernie guessed what I was thinking. “I took after my father.”

We continued walking, going in through an unlocked front door.

“Why is it open?” I asked. “Is someone here?”

“Just a security guy I hired. He's keeping watch for me.” Ernie explained.

I had to laugh. “You hired him to keep me out?”

Ernie smiled, but didn't answer. He led me through the front foyer through to the back of the house. A burly gentleman with a face as round as a saucer, sat in the kitchen enjoying a cup of coffee.

“This is my security guard. Apparently, he's on break.” Ernie said, looking at him with a cross look on his face.

I nodded at the man, but he didn't notice. He was too busy trying to look like he was keeping an eye on things. I think the newspaper spread out on the table in front of him wasn't helping his cause.

“Are you going to tell me what you'd like for me to see?” I asked, reminding Ernie why he'd brought me here in the first place.

He opened the back door, leading out to the yard and the field behind it. I followed him, anxious to see what it was and nervous about the prospect of stepping in the same spot I'd nearly gotten arrested in twice this week.

“Here it is.” Ernie stopped under the lone tree in the yard.

“A tree?” I asked, confused by what it meant.

“Look up.” Ernie pointed up into a hole in the tree, just above my line of vision.

I looked at it and thought I'd seen someone looking back at me from inside the tree. I sucked in a gush of air.

“Is someone in there?” I asked as I backed away.

Ernie sighed. “Yes, there's a strange little man, living inside of a hollowed out tree.” He said sarcastically. “It's a camera. There's a camera in there.”

What?

I stepped closer to get a better view.

“Is that part of your new security thing?” I asked.

He shook his head, stepping forward to reach for the camera. It took a few minutes. The camera had been secured in by someone.

Handing it to me, he said, “Look at it. What do you see?”

I didn't want to touch it. For all I knew, he was trying to make me put my fingerprints on it to frame me for something. I wasn't about to let him get one over on me like that.

“No, I'm not touching it. What do you want me to see?” I asked.

Ernie sighed in frustration again. “There's a sticker on the bottom. See. It's one of those return address stickers that you get in the mail for sending a donation somewhere. Look at the name on it.”

I turned my head as Ernie flipped the camera over to show me. Without my new reading glasses on, I could barely make out the words. I squinted to see.

After a moment, I could make out the address and part of the name.

“Whoa! Does that say...” I started to ask.

Ernie hushed me, looking around to see if anyone was nearby listening to our conversation.

“It does. Now, do you understand why I need your help?” He asked.

I grabbed the camera with the sleeves of my windbreaker. “How did it get in there and why?” I asked.

“That's what I need you to find out.” Ernie answered.