Halton Cray (Shadows of the World Book 1) (40 page)

Thom appeared at my side, but as yet Death didn’t
look at him.

‘It’s too soon,’ Death
asserted in my father’s accent.

‘But we stopped him; he
can’t rise! Don’t make Thom wait any longer, please!’

‘That doesn’t mean anything to me, Lexi. I state again,
it is too soon.’

‘And just how long will you make him wait?’

‘Do you want the answer put in hours, or days, or–?’

I threw my hands up. ‘You’re as sarcastic as him.’
I pointed to Thom. ‘So, what can I say then?’ I moved towards him. ‘How about,
that day I’ve promised to give my consent, maybe we’ll add a year for every day
you prolong this.’

Death took a step back.

I followed his eyes as they moved to where Thom
stood at my side. He looked straight at him.

‘Then, it is done.’

It was that quick.

Thom’s hand left mine instantly. He dropped to his
knees. His eyes closed, but under the lashes I saw them bleed. Soon a crescent
smile formed on his blood-streaked face. He clutched his chest in some agony,
giving a deep groan to evince it. Bizarrely, he was still smiling. He sank farther
down and exhaled the deepest, longest breath I’d ever heard exit someone. I
couldn’t get to him fast enough. I knelt on the concrete with him and watched
as colour painted his ashen skin. When he opened his eyes, they were sky-blue
and glistening with tears. He looked straight to his hands in astonishment, palms
up, and turning them over he traced his veins over the backs. He clutched at
his heart again and looked at me in disbelief. I gazed up to find that the fog
had cleared completely, and the Black Angel stood there no more. He was gone,
for now anyway.

‘Human!’ Thom whispered. ‘I thought it was
impossible!’

I grabbed his hands. Warm and clammy!

‘I felt my heart restart,’ he said, stunned. ‘And
it was the most painful and yet wonderful feeling! I’d forgotten this physical
pain! Not sure I’m going to get used to it. What have you done to me?’ He half-smiled
and eagerly held me.

I saw him,
really
saw him for the first
time. His fine eyes, his warm complexion. He was thirty-one again. Leaning
forward he nestled his head in the bay of my neck where he took a deep breath
and whispered, but a whisper more penetrating than the loudest cry, ‘Thank
you!’

I likewise buried my face where his neck met his
shoulder. I inhaled. His scent, thankfully the same, still made me tingle all
over, but seemed concentrated, fixed to him. It didn’t echo through me or my surroundings
as it once had.

We sat there in the alleyway next to a discarded
shopping trolley, cuddled up, like a couple of hobos with nothing else in the
world but each other. If anyone had seen us, they may have thrown down some
loose change. But it was eleven at night and the alley was deserted. Unmotivated
to move, we talked for ages, filling this time too with intervals of vigorous
kissing.

‘Alex, I can’t stop!’ he groaned, tracing my
jawline fervently with his lips. ‘You taste so good. My senses are different –
better! Still vibrant, but now so alive, so human. Before, they were
animalistic – concentrated on the hunt; on instinct; not thought.’

I smiled at him with moist eyes. ‘It’s going to be
a while before I can really believe this has happened.’

‘You thought you were rid of me, eh?’

‘All the things you can do now!’ I said, stroking
his glorious face.

‘We’ll do them together, Alex.’

‘But before we do, I have a few more questions I
want answered.’

‘Ever heard of the phrase
there’s a time and a
place
, incorrigible one? You may cross-examine me to your heart’s content
later, Cassandra. But I doubt this alley is the best place to remain any
longer.’

We got to our feet and made our way towards the
hotel. He gripped my hand and chatted away as the new man he was, occasionally
interrupting himself to whisper something in amazement, like –

‘I feel the cold in the wind; it breathes on my
skin.’

I watched him closely, examining the way his lips
moved and his jaw muscles flexed as he spoke. The way his hair rippled in the
breeze. Things I had seen before, but seemed somehow different now.

‘What sort of human things would you like to do
first?’ I asked, since he was on this subject.

‘Something energetic!’ He smiled. ‘Something that
will get my heart pumping so I can really feel it.
Then
, food! – food
for humans, of course.
Human
! My God. I may even start to like driving.’
He threw his arm round me and opened the hotel door.

‘Are you happy to fly home tomorrow, Alex?’ he asked,
following me up the stairs. ‘We do have open tickets, but I’m due back at work
and truthfully I can’t wait to go home with you.’

‘Sounds good to me. Besides, I need to start
looking for a new job.’

‘Then we’ll say our goodbyes to Seth in the
morning,’ he said, eagerly pulling me towards his room. ‘Because right now–’

‘–We’d better get some
sleep
?’ My voice
elevated on that last word where Thom scooped me up in his arms, and proceeded
to open his door.

‘Sleep?’ He shook his head, entering his room and closing
the door with his foot. ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead!’ He carried me to the bed. ‘Do
you think you can defer sleep?’

‘Possibly,’ I teased, as he laid me down and positioned
himself at my side on the duvet.

‘You don’t seem as nervous as before.’ He narrowed
his eyes on me and propped his head up on his hand. He twined my waist with his
arm and pulled me in closer to his body.

‘No. Not so much now you’re human.’

‘Ah. I see.’ He shifted awkwardly. ‘That’s what it
was. It makes sense. I
had
thought…’

‘What?’

‘Well, I wondered if it would be your first time.’

I elevated my eyebrows before shaking my head. ‘I’m
not a virgin. Are you?’

He feigned an innocent smile before laughing. ‘No,
Alex, I’m not. – We’re not going to exchange stories, I hope?’

‘God, no! But I’ll say this: I never felt anything
like what I feel for you. That makes my first time with you so much more nerve-wracking.’

‘Alex, that’s the cheesiest, but loveliest thing I
ever heard.’

‘Well, it’s the truth.’

He toyed with the top button of my blouse.

‘I’ve been reborn today, Alex. This is my second
birthday!’ He shut his eyes tight, as if someone had rubbed shampoo into them.

‘Are you… making a wish?’

‘Yes.’ He laughed. ‘Another thing I’m looking
forward to–’

‘–Making wishes?’

‘No!
Birthdays
. Ageing. All that. Cake.
Candles. Being careful I don’t burn myself.’

He began unfastening my top button one-handed while
watching for my reaction. ‘Stay with me, Alex, all nigh–’

Knock – Knock

‘Yo! It’s me!’ cried Seth. ‘I heard you guys return.’

‘Go away!’ Thom yelled.

‘But I need to show you something.’

‘Absolutely not!’

I whispered, ‘I think you forget the
Do Not
Disturb
card.’ I began buttoning up my blouse. ‘Besides, looks like it’s
our last night here.’

‘Damn him!’ Thom uttered. ‘And the injury he sustained!’
He rolled his eyes and, huffing, got to his feet. ‘What kind of drugs are these
doctors handing out nowadays? The sedatives are far too weak.’

He opened the door and Seth bounced in, part of a
bandage visible at his collarbone.

‘Check it out–’ Seth paused, looking Thom up and
down. ‘Whoa! What the hell? You’re not a… I mean, you’re not–’

‘Not any longer.’ Thom couldn’t help a grin.

‘Look at you, man!’ Seth closed the door. ‘You’re
so… so… normal! You actually look like a sweet kinda guy.’

I laughed. ‘Almost human.’

‘Yes, thank you, both.’

‘So, Death did his thing, huh? We really need to
celebrate!’

‘Well, Seth, that
is
what I was trying to–’

‘
Thom
,’ I cut in. ‘If you’re serious about
leaving tomorrow then we could at least spend some time with Seth before we
go.’

‘You’re leaving tomorrow? I know I said I couldn’t
wait to see the back of you, but I didn’t really mean it.’

‘Thank you,’ said Thom. ‘But we have to get back. That
doesn’t mean we won’t visit you someday, if that’s okay?’

‘Of course! You have
not
experienced NYC at
its best. But hey, shall we just grab some drinks at the bar downstairs? It’s a
really cool place. We can shoot some pool in the back.’

‘Sounds good,’ I said, heading for the door.

It was not that I didn’t want some alone time with
Thom – far from it. But we owed Seth more than that, and Thom would agree if he
were presently thinking with his head.

We took turns in playing pool while drinking beer
and quietly celebrating Thom’s return to mortality.

‘Seth, what were you going to show us when you
knocked?’ I asked.

‘Oh, yeah! I was just gonna show you some pictures
of my new place.’ He pulled out his phone. ‘My buddy, Rhys, is fixing it up.’

He was so excited to be home to stay.

After another round I gave my apologies. ‘I hope
you don’t mind, Seth, but I really need to sleep. I’ll say goodbye in the
morning. Thank you for pulling me back in the cemetery.’ I hugged him. ‘Please
don’t let Thom drink too much. He hasn’t tasted beer in a long time.’

I teasingly winked at Thom, who winced back.

‘Seth, I could murder you!’ I heard him say as I
headed for the stairs.

Thirty-six

‘Love is love’s reward.’

– John Dryden,
Palamon
and Acrite

Our plane touched down in
darkness. Never had I missed daytime so much. Thom drove us back to Halton
Cray, now and again examining his hands as he flexed them against the steering
wheel.

‘Do you know, Alex, I fell asleep on the plane and
woke up convinced this was a dream. You were unconscious and drooling on my
chest, like a rabid nutter with her energy spent. That should’ve propelled me
instantly to reality. But I only realised this was all real when I saw the
ocean below and felt nothing but– you’re not even listening.’

‘I wasn’t drooling,’ I said. ‘And I am listening.
I was just thinking–’

‘That’s a dangerous activity.’ He chuckled, before
I tweaked his ear. ‘So what were you thinking about?’

‘Well, worrying actually, about… I thought Death
would refuse, but then he agreed so suddenly.’ I dropped my voice to a whisper.
‘But I suppose he might come back and try again to take me.’

‘
He
– as you put it – will do no such
thing! Death, that is, only needs to be certain he’ll get what he needs before
the end. He’s not evil, though he seems to share some common traits with serial
killers: he values his work and will never stop of his own accord. He’s not out
to be bad, just as he cannot understand goodness either. He’s neutral. Azrael,
or Death personified, is destined to be the very last on Earth to die. It’s his
purpose to collect every soul before then. That’s why he’s here. He can’t go
taking risks of disappointing someone like you, with your resoluteness! Your
demanding ways! Deciding never to die, because then you really would muck up
his plans. His time will come but not for a long, long while yet. Death
certainly can’t die until the last human is dead.

‘When it tried to argue with you, when
he
originally hesitated, it was because he didn’t want to have to bring me back
from the dead. Now he has an extra life to collect later, and worse, another
one who knows his secret. However, he balanced that it was worth going one-step
back to go two-step’s forward. And he believed you.’

‘You seem to know an awful lot about him, about
Death I mean.’

‘I should do. I’ve been shadowing
it
for
over a century. Studying it at every opportunity. Reading everything ever
written about it to define or add to my knowledge. I would then see if I could
confirm or contradict what I’d read by watching it. I know it makes errors. I
know it has weaknesses. I know many things.’

‘Like you knew he could perform re-embodiment?’

‘Ah, well.’ He glanced over to me, smiling. ‘I’ve
always been unsure about that one. But you believed me, and that’s all that was
necessary to bluff
him
and find out.’

I sighed and shook my head.

‘So give me an example of Death’s ability that you
read about and then witnessed him do?’

‘Why?’

‘Because it’s interesting. I want to know if it
was confirmed or contradicted.’

He sighed and raised his eyebrows. ‘Fine; let me
see. Ah, you may have read of this one. According to many cultures, Death keeps
a record of all the births so that he can bring the deaths. I’m not talking
about a piece of paper folded up in his black-robe pocket. But a supreme Truth
constantly at work updating invisible files with an inkless pen. The names of
everyone, keyed by a date and place of birth, and other such details too, I suppose.
As I said before, Death can stalk the dying for short or long periods of time,
and I remember one of the longest. It went on for over three months. Of course while
he stalked this one, he was doing his other work elsewhere, and I followed him
back and forth to this particular man. I became very curious about him, about
why Death was taking so long over it.

‘The man was sixty-five and Death seemed to be
hesitating. I couldn’t figure out why. Finally, it took him. A few days after
that it took another man of sixty-five. Nothing extraordinary about that, and
besides, they lived and died in different counties. While Death stalked, I
happened to learn the first man’s name, and the second. They were the same. I
found that they had the same date of birth, to the exact day. They were even
born in the same town, and were probably cousins, because similarities existed
between them. I knew then, at that moment, that Death – despite
its
omnipotence – was capable of making mistakes. He had mistakenly taken the first
man. Death went to rectify the error only by taking the second man, the
right
man. I thought at this point I might witness whether it could bring someone
back from the dead. The fact
it
didn’t proved nothing. It would hardly
be ethical to bring back someone who’s been dead a week. So there you are.’ 

‘But now we know he can, and we know he makes
errors too. It’s strange that it takes him so long just to verify who they
are.’

‘I’m not convinced that that’s all it’s doing,
Alex. I’m sure it decides how they die, but it’s only in that time of stalking
that it decides how. My suspicion is that Death doesn’t give a man cancer, for
example; Death decides whether or not the cancer will kill him.’

‘What a depressing job he has.’

‘I’m sure
he
doesn’t think of it in that
way.’

‘It’s fascinating. What else can you tell me?’

‘No. It’s best not to go into any more.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you’re too good a person to know those
secrets.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘It means exactly what I just said.’

‘I’m supposed to be really horrible and selfish or
something to deserve to know?’

‘Precisely!’

‘How the hell does that work?’

He laughed. ‘Good people are too trusting of
others, and everyone in some form tarnishes everyone else with his or her own
brush. Good people think, “oh, I am so nice and trusting, and I suppose
everyone else is too!” when in fact that’s not the case.’

I giggled. ‘What are you trying to say?’

‘Good people are more likely to share information
which others could benefit from, without thinking of dark consequences. Evil
people will more easily prise secrets from a good person than they could from
another of their own kind. Fact! One evil person knowing a great secret will
remain that way; they won’t share power. A good person is more likely to.’

‘So just for arguments sake,’ I said, ‘since I
know that I can refuse Death, I might feel like telling someone I love to
refuse Death, just to keep them in my life? Though I think that was a unique
situation likely never to repeat itself. Your soul reminded me of you and the
life I had here.’

He squeezed my knee and smiled. ‘You could do that
– tell someone you love. And doing that would be a very powerful thing to the
wrong person. But that wasn’t exactly what I meant, but it is another
possibility. If the bad guy learns of it, they could use it to their advantage.
Though I am very happy you discovered it.’

‘How could they abuse it?’

He huffed. ‘They could keep refusing. I don’t mean
forever, because it would be an absolute age to a human. But in the course of
it, Death would become desperate, to the point where persuading him to do
things for someone’s consent might be too easy. You’ve seen for yourself that
he’s quite capable of striking a bargain, of responding to blackmail. Anybody with
the right knowledge I feel sure could bluff, trick or even bribe him. I’ve only
read about these things, but it’s clear he’ll make a deal to get what he needs
in the end. Things you don’t want to think of. That information is now for you
to protect. And Death will watch us closely, and is probably listening right
now.’

I shivered.

‘But let’s not talk morbidly any longer.’

Thom braked for traffic lights at the crest of
Bourne Hill, with Halton Cray in our view – a place I thought I might never see
again. He leant over and kissed me.

‘Alex, it’s so wonderful to really
feel
again. I’d forgotten what things felt like, to a human I mean. Kissing you
before was incredible enough, but compared to being human and kissing you,
there’s no contest.’

The lights changed and as we descended Bourne
Hill, and the Cray’s White Tower rose before us, I had to ask a question; one
that I’d been pushing to the back of my mind for too long.

‘I think it’s about time I knew your real name.’

He smirked and looked down the hill, fixing his
eyes on the Cray and nodding towards it.

‘Halton Cray.’

‘I know it’s been a difficult week’ – I elevated
one eyebrow – ‘but it hasn’t rendered me stupid. I know where we are.’

He grinned and patted my knee. ‘No, my dainty
nutter!
That
is my real name: Halton Cray.’

‘What do you mean? How can that be your name?’

‘I was named after my father, who was also the
namesake of our ancestor, the founder of the Cray estate. You remember me
telling you about my father, who was English, and from a great family?’

I nodded.

‘This was the one place in the world I wanted to
be!’ He wound down his window and inhaled the air. ‘To see where he grew up. The
place he had often talked of, where he and my mother met and fell in love. I’d
never seen a picture of it, nor heard it described in any detail. I only had an
idea of it in my head. Imagine my astonishment when I arrived here and saw it
for the first time. The place where they were happiest together. I wanted to
know it. That’s why I came here. You must have noticed how often I walked down
to the bridge. There’s a spot amongst the willow trees where my mother and
father would go to be together in secret. There they would dream of an unlikely
future, but with more happiness in hope than any amount of cruel certainty
could outdo. I used to spend a lot of time there, to remember them better, and
imagine how happy they must have been when they fell in love.’ He paused on
this thought, a soft smile on his lips. ‘It is incredibly sad that his own mother
didn’t see him once more, after making that great effort to reunite with him.
How different things would have been if my father had made it home safely
through the gates, as his spirit often tries for.’

‘Wait– are you saying that Sir Halton, as in Sir
Halton’s ghost, is your father’s haunting?’

‘It is. He’s been seen a number of times,
finishing the journey he was trying to make here. That damned Evans woman, over
the years, has fed the few ridiculous stories that always float around – merely
to scare people – that my father was returning to murder his own family! It has
always filled me with rancour, as she span out her lies and nonsense for
attention, while I heard and could say little to really defend my excellent
father.’

‘I get it now,’ I said. ‘Your hostility towards
her was always a bit of a mystery to me. Although I’ve never been fond of her,
it seemed too personal. She turned your father’s memory into a vicious lie.’

‘That’s what drives me mad. No one remembers him
as being the true heir, or the man who wouldn’t abandon his pregnant wife
because she was poor. No. He’s rumoured to be a vengeful spirit, after the
blood of his family, for the sake of money and status!’

‘But now I know the truth. And for what it’s
worth, I don’t think people generally believe a word she says.’

‘The majority don’t, I hope. – I’ve been living in
the past, Alex, and not even my own, where it felt safer, and in that sense
more hopeful than anything else. It was easier than facing a blank stretch of
time. I sometimes wondered if just by being here I was in some sense atoning
for a lost piece of their lives. This place was denied them, and ultimately Bronagh
and myself. I imagined an alternate future for them and it was more comforting
than sad. But I’m not going to live in the past any longer. I’m looking forward
to a future, a real future, with you!’

He pulled into Halton Cray car park and turned onto
a private lane behind the restaurant, for residents only. I couldn’t wait to
get into his bed and literally crash out.

A sudden thought occurred to me.

‘It’ll take me some time to get used to calling
you Halton. It’s going to feel strange.’

He shook his head decidedly. ‘No. You must call me
Thom. Though I love that you know my true identity, nobody can know it but you.
Just another secret we’ll always share. Far from making no sense, it would
raise too many questions. But’ – he smiled profoundly – ‘it just so happens that
Thomas is one of my own forenames. Now
that
is a coincidence!’

‘Certainly is! So I can keep calling you Thom
without feeling like a total liar.’

‘You can always call me sir, you know, if it’s
easier. I rather enjoyed it. And technically, of course, I am–’

‘Ah, yes! I’m glad you reminded me about that. I
think I should have you forfeit or something for cheating.’

‘I cheated, did I?’

‘You had powers!’

‘Yes. I never denied it. I told you it was magic.
Where’s the deceit?’

‘You led me to believe you were performing an
illusion.’

‘No. You convinced yourself it was an illusion
based entirely on scepticism.’

‘You asked me to guess how it was done!’

‘And not once, Cassandra, not once! did you say it
was done by magic. Or more specifically, my shadow. So you see, I won. All is
square!’

‘I’ll get you back for that,
Halton
!’ – To
this he laughed. – ‘Going back to the subject of your name. Don’t you want
things restored properly?’

‘I’ve no interest in claiming any birthright or
redemise there, and never have. I wanted to be near the place my father grew
up, and where he met my mother. I’m so happy, Alex, to have my life back! So
happy to hear my own name spoken by you. You finally know me, as I thought it
would never be.’ As he said this, he beamed a smile and squeezed me tenderly.